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View Full Version : Humor/Beer and the gearbox



Subike
21st October 2008, 17:55
I thouight that I would share this will you all
I copied it from another thread, a bit of a long read but worth the effort.
This is how you fix a gearbox on an XS1100 Yamaha

""How not to fix second gear

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I decided to do the second gear fix, since I am generally a fair hand with a wrench and can hold my alcohol well with the best of them.

I studied all the pictures in TC's post about the job, and even printed out the printable version as a shop reference. After carefully reading at least half of each sentence at the beginning of the paragraph, I was done with my first beer, or Mike's hard cherry-lime-pomegranate-truffle-apple-road tar-what not flavored beer.
That stuff is pretty tasty, so I grabbed another one and had a good look at the bike to see what I needed to start on. I figured I could ignore some of the suggestions in the write up about taking some of the stuff off before flipping the bike over. It would be easier with it up in the air to get to the clutch and such, and obviously the guys who had dome it before me had not had enough beer to figure these things out properly.
So about 4 pm I pulled the stuff off the handle bars, which got me a tad thirsty, so I grabbed another beer. I pulled the seat off, and the right rear turn signal, laid some cardboard down so as not to scratch up the handle bars and grab bar.
I figured I would need some help with the flip so I asked SWMBO to bring me another beer. I'll be damned if she hadn't been drinking it too and we were all out. She decided we were sober enough between the two of us to make a beer run. She is a helluva woman.
After all the excitement I really needed a beer to help clear my head, and summon my super-human strength. SWMBO was going to help, and HOLY FLYING NUNS that thing is heavy. Instead of flipping it upside down, I more or less just slid it into the deep freeze, and slightly on top of SWMBO. She was laughing, so I am not sure if she hit her head or just can't hold her beer too well.
About then the neighbor came over and made some obscure reference to a monkey and a football, which I didn't fully understand, since I have never had a pet monkey. Sonuvabeech, it took three more beers to get rid of him. SWMBO suggested that I might offer one to him, but I figured he'd never leave if I offered him a drink, kind of like a stray dog.
Back to flipping the bike. We finally herniated it up on the top, with the wheels sticking up in the air. What an accomplishment. I needed to celebrate with a nice cold refreshing beer. Now it is starting to get dark, at least I think it is, so I turned on some more lights, and the radio. The K-State game was on, and since football is so depressing to me, I had another beer to lighten my spirits. Spirits..... mmmmm spirits, yes! SWMOB! Go get some stuff to make mint juleps!
She is a helluva woman, since she tends ot agrre wiht me on schtuff liek this. Off she went to get some spirits. By this time, about 10:30 or so I had the pan off and the sides of the engenine off, and was juhst corntermplatin' takin' off teh cluutch biscuit, and rememberated about stickin a plank in the rear wheel to help with un scrooin the clutch nut. I'm tellin you SWBOIM is one helluva a worman seens how shie kin make one helluva lohng island ised tee. Dear God theres a buncha geerly looking thingies in that there engengine. I recon I ought to just start pullin screws out till I gets the right parts I wants out. DAMNIT, wes outta beer agin! SWIMMY BO thinks I am too inebriated to drive ang git more beer. I did my best to 'splain that Neberiated were a twon in western Nebraskar, clost to where I groed up, but she weren't havin it.
I told her to get the good stuff this time, Mikey's hard mouthwash is fer woosies. I'm tellin ya SLIM BOAT is a helluva woman, since all the liquor stores close at midnight, she went to Wallmarts and got some three two beer. Reckon everyone says that stuff is all watered down, but my tastin buds done checked out bout four hors back.
Well I finally gots the geerie lookn thingamajiggers out of the bike and curfullie ihnspechted each un. I pulled out my dremelerator and grinded them thingamajiggers whutfer they would work better.


* * *


Some time about 12:30, SWMBO starts irritating me. Saying I should wake up. I told her she ought to know I have a hell of a hangover and my head hurts like someone hit it with a sledge hammer, and I should be left to sleep.

"Or like you blacked out face down in the transmission of your bike?"

Touche. She is a helluva a woman, since she had a nice hot cup of coffee and some Tylenol. Surprisingly I was a fair hand at grinding while being blind drunk, and I re assembled the tranny without incident.
Other than the muscle aches and high pitched noises making my head throb, putting the bike back the way it was went well. Refilled it with oil, and cranked it over until I had pressure. Put the fuel to it and started her up. That strange gurgling sound was all the oil being pumped out on the garage floor.
I still don't remember messing with the oil filter, but somehow, I had put it back on with the o-ring out of the groove.
After cleaning up and getting it refilled with oil, it started and ran well, and I actually have second gear back.

Loud pipes and hangovers really don't go well together.

Hopefully next weekend is good for riding.
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rat biker 08
21st October 2008, 18:44
not going to try that on my XS . But fuking funny read .:lol::lol::lol::2thumbsup:beer: