vifferman

Do go on..............More detail please, so I know whats ahead!

Really?
They're all in their 20's, no girlfriends, and the youngest two have no job and no income (can't get them to register for the dole). The oldest works part-time.
So... they spend most of each day sleeping, or on the computer, or otherwise entertaining themselves / driving me nuts.

Tuff love time. contribute or get out.

I agree with Bald Eagle, and I'm their age myself. I see a number of people from school in the same position as them and tbh can't see them changing anytime soon. My family has always had the rule that unless you are studying, you have to pay board and it's a way to encourage us kids to go on to further education or get our a into g and get a proper job

Mate I feel your pain. I've got that to "look forward to" with my guys

I am reeling a bit at the moment, phone calls from siblings calling cancer and putting mothers in rest homes kinda do that. I have advice for you, stand by, I need to numb my pain first

At what age are you expecting them to be capable of making their own way?

At what age are they expecting to make their own way?

If my boys are still at home at 18 they are getting marched to the front gate and will be getting a boot up the backside.

hahaha, I remember when mine were little (under age 5) and people would tell me "don't worry, it gets easier once they're older". Liars, the lot of 'em!!! They became even more time consuming, and current problems would go away, but others would take their place! It didn't seem fair!
Having said that, I wouldn't be without either of them (as I'm sure you wouldn't be without any of yours) and while they can still frustrate the bejeebies out of me at times (they're 18 and 20) I am thankful for how they have turned out. Coulda been soooooo much worse!

Just think, their day will come when they go through it all themselves and you can smile smugly..... well that's the theory anyway

Hey guys. Grab a copy of this book and read it.
http://www.goldfishwisdom.co.nz/?t=54

I've just read it and learned quite a bit. If only I had done this with a prior relationship...

Very well presented and from a kiwi point of view, so very high on the relevance scale.

Why not do as me and the missus did --- upped sticks and moved to the other side of the world -- we've left them behind in the UK !!!
One with his own flat and (relatively) low paid job, the other at university studying MOTORCYCLE ENGINEERING :-D

What you need to do is coax them out of the house in the pretence that they are goingto be doing something nice.

Buy them a plane ticket and let them do an OE in the UK. it may sound like a paid hliday for them , but there's nothing like living on the bones of your ass for a while to make you realise that you want a high paying job at some stage of your life.

also, once they have tasted freedom, it horrible to have to go and live with your folks again.

The bad side is that they may stay there for a looooong time...

You're being taken advantage of, dude.

Mine knew, without a shadow of a doubt that the day after they left school they'd be paying board. Lots of it.

I didn't have 'em out of the goodness of my heart, says I ( advice of which they were utterly convinced ) but to support me in my ridiculously extravagant dotage. They were to look upon themselves as a somewhat high-maintenance crop, with correspondingly high return.

Time for a bit of pruning mate, change the locks.