Gremlin's Tall Stories

Unfortunately with the boss away and being 2IC, I ended up having to cancel the Long Weekend component after tossing up about it for a couple of days. I sent Lee the cancellation email so as to avoid his wrath (unlike some others apparently). From Thursday evening to Friday evening Toto did his best to remind me I was missing out, emailing me a picture of the route, when he had checked in etc. Thanks Mate.

Soon enough however, Friday evening rolled around. I’d tackled some jobs earlier in the afternoon that are normally done later, so I was out of the office at 5.15pm and heading home to pack. Unfortunately, I barely ever head home this early (and it’s more likely 7-8pm) so I encountered traffic, and trying to detour still found more traffic. Bloody Friday afternoons.

Home before 6pm, straight into packing. The Rusty envelope was carefully set aside. I’d forgotten it last year, and had no intention of doing the same this year. Plenty needed packing, organising and cleaning, so I was eventually packed by 7.30pm. Had some dinner while Toto emailed me the map for the main event, and sure enough, the hunch was correct, East Cape was on the menu. It wasn’t too hard, with an earlier announcement that the start had been brought forward 2 hours from 3pm to 1pm to make sure gas was available. Only place around the centre of the island that’s difficult is East Cape.

After some dinner, I geared up, fuelled up down the road, and I was good for Turangi. Leaving East Auckland at 8.30pm I jumped on the motorway, down SH1 to SH2 and followed that all the way down SH27 and back to SH1 at Tirau (my favourite fast and direct route south). There was some traffic on the roads, and even more disappointing to be held up by cars doing 70-80kph, when trucks were managing to sit around 90kph. Still, reasonably good time was made and the roads got quieter as I headed further south. It was somewhere before Tirau I realised I’d forgotten my toiletries… sigh, it always has to be something

From Tirau it was a legal run straight down the main drag to Turangi, arriving minutes before midnight. This was awesome… I beat Eugene to last to arrive. He’d beaten me for a couple of years in a row, I simply couldn’t let that continue. While de-gearing Toto comes trotting over. He’d fallen asleep, thought he’d missed me, panicked, then heard me arrive. Bloody handy him being around, as he had my key, room number, took my helmet and led me over. He even gave me a copy of the route in a mapsource file. Told you he was good aye?

From there, unpacked some of the gear into the room and headed over to the main building to view the route. John Rusty was still up, got a paper copy of the route notes then got distracted talking to him until Andrew Rusty appeared, then jabbered to both, while failing miserably at trying to check Toto’s route. Andrew makes a seemingly bold statement that he has done 80,000km on his Avon tyres with no punctures, but it’s an impressive stat. Eventually Andrew headed for bed and I could finish the route. Toto had a couple of points slightly misplaced, so I corrected, removed most of his fuel stops (seriously, how many times do these little bikes need to stop?) and plotted some new ones.

John even leaned over, offering tips on the route (and also bemused by how the Mapsource software worked), so it was done quick as, and 3 stops were necessary, Gisborne, Gisborne and somewhere around Eketahuna. I locked up the room and headed for bed at 2.45am.

I set my alarm for 10am, as agreed with Toto, but after hearing bikes start up, people moving around (even people describing how my bike was an ugly Goldwing…) I gave up at 9am and got up. Checked in with Lee, took the BMW through scrutineering and had a shower after borrowing Toto’s bodywash. Like him however, the Lynx branded stuff didn’t suddenly send a horde of gorgeous women my way.

Big ugly bikers was more like it, and spent plenty of time catching up with old faces, meeting new ones, and most were interested in the extra lights and the GS Adventure itself. I finally had a decent discussion with LBD, with whom I mostly converse via email. It was 11am by now, and time was marching on, with more to do. Down the road to New World and Z, for supplies of drink for myself and Jessica and back to base only to end up chatting to people again.

People started gathering for the briefing at 12.30pm. Crap, time was now running out and I wasn’t packed for the ride. Drinks, snacks, clear visor and other knick knacks were thrown into the top box, then I suddenly realise a puncture repair kit and tools would be a good idea as well. Just in time for the briefing, Toto and I think alike when it comes to being geared up for the briefing. You only end up extremely hot, so we go back to the cabins afterwards to gear up.

Briefing was completed in usual fashion complete with listing of some of the road issues and LBD is even lucky to win one of the prizes in the raffle draw. Quite appropriate given he’s commuted the furthest for the ride. Only difference for this briefing is that once again an anniversary DVD is being produced, so there will be cameras around the place. I left the briefing slightly earlier than everyone else, just enough to be at the front of the line for the last stop at the toilets.

I geared up and headed to the line, stopping right behind Toto. He headed off almost immediately, but I waited to confirm that Group 4 was now up, and as #39, headed out onto the course of my 4th Grand Challenge.

Exiting Turangi and there’s a small group of bikes in front of me. I catch a bad break and a cop turns onto the main road, following me. The others are far enough ahead and make a couple of passes to be safely away from the cop, but luck was eventually on my side and I could complete a couple of passes thanks to slow moving vehicles. My thoughts of a dry Grand Challenge were naïve and short-lived. It rained within kilometres of the start and I see Toto pulling over to presumably change or put more layers on. I was wearing full wet gear, besides the summer gloves, but it wasn’t cold and I figured the hand guards would keep me dry if I kept moving.

On the way up to Taupo it rained, then shined, then repeated the cycle several times. I didn’t make many passes as the pace was perfectly adequate, legal, and fully appropriate for SH1. I did have a few pass by, and generally didn’t see them again. Onto the Napier-Taupo Road, a few more pass by, a bit more keen than I at this early stage of the ride. I did end up playing with one bike, who initially was satisfied sitting behind me, then decided he wanted to go quicker on the straights, so passed by. Within a few corners he was holding me up through corners as I maintained the same pace, so passed him back and he stayed behind

Reaching the end of the road, XP@ and a film crew are there. There’s a couple of bikes in front of me but they all turn right towards Bayview, which is the wrong way, but I assume they need gas. No such problem for me and I turn left towards Wairoa. Just before I catch up with a group in front, XP@ catches up, and from his posts on KB I assume he is after video footage. He doesn’t stay behind for long, racing ahead and filming the next group. My 15 seconds of fame is complete I guess The group rides at a consistent pace akin to my own, so I sit behind until Wairoa. They pull off at the Shell and I was about to continue riding past, when I see Andrew Rusty parked up.

A quick U-turn, as I know he’s supposed to be working CP1 with another Rusty, and I know I can’t be the first bike on the road. Alas… he has a puncture. It’s only when I’m back on the road that I remember the previous night’s discussion… some things you should never declare out loud. He’s already arranged for someone to sort, so I leave him to it.

The run up to Gisborne is reasonably lonely until almost the end when I catch up to a KTM Adventure 640 and a cruiser pulls in after me at the Shell on the main street, around 5pm. The lack of any build up is starting to show. My arse was a little sore when I checked into Turangi on Friday night, and now, only 370km into a 1600km ride, I’m hurting again. I think to myself… well, it’s not going to get more comfortable is it?

We all take a break together, even helping the KTM rider lube his chain. I tried to talk him into the luxuries of shaft drive, but he muttered something about needing to change the gearing? Why? It’s perfect as is I tell ya! Heading out of Gisborne I decide on the outskirts that it’s probably better off to be in front of him, so pass him, only to have a Police Ute come the other way a corner later, going at a fair clip. Blardy hell… I was a fraction into the naughty zone after overtaking, but the Ute seemed to have plenty of other things to do.

Heading to Tokomaru Bay, the KTM never strayed too far from my mirrors, but wasn’t immediately behind me either. Checking in at Tokomaru Bay store, with only 91 available, receiving the all-important check in my card, I double check with Cam, and he knows Andrew is currently delayed with a puncture. While he punches my card, I simply declare “My arse hurts”, at which he grins. The KTM is close behind, and KoroJ and his mate Steve on a busa only slightly ahead. Others are milling around, taking a slightly longer break.

I head off, leaving the KTM behind and catch KoroJ and Steve in short order and also leave them behind. On the way north towards Te Araroa I come across one of the older GS’s and overtake. He decides (as he tells me later) that he reckons the older machinery can stay with the new stuff, and sure enough, he follows me all the way through the East Cape and towards Opotiki. East Cape was pretty much unchanged from when I passed through earlier in the year, and again last year.

The uneven surface boards are unique to that area. In most areas of the country it means a slight slump or little ridge, or perhaps nothing to really worry about. On the East Cape, it means rollercoaster ahead. You’ll be kicked out of your seat now and then, possibly a few teeth jarring crashes over bumps and will constantly fall from one obstacle to another. A few had some rather interesting stories to tell about their flights of entertainment, but Jessica remained mostly on the ground. Long travel suspension has its advantages and still, I had one crest where both wheels came off the ground.

With 150km to go until Opotiki I came across a group of 5 bikes, being led by a ST1300. Shortly, he pulled aside to let a group of 4 sportsbikes through and I followed. The older GS that had been following disappeared for a while and with night starting to fall and still on a tinted visor, I thought it wisest to simply follow and let them lead into Opotiki. They were sorted with directions, heading straight to the correct Caltex at 8.45pm, which was doing double duty as CP2 as well. Some others were there already and the older GS appeared shortly after.

I declared to the Rusty guys that “My arse really hurts” which was met with more grins. I didn’t need gas, but elected to take a longer stop to get the blood flowing, eat and drink. Stories were now flowing about the cop on the East Cape, and while some had had close shaves with being in the grey zone, one chap on a 1150GS hadn’t been so lucky, and had chatted to the cop for a little while, but he’d been much closer to safe than walking. The cruiser from Gisborne took off with a racket, and some of us declared it was now safe to leave since all the cops would target him.

The sportsbikes and now a pair of older GS left ahead of me, and I saw KoroJ and Steve check in. Steve had had a very interesting time around East Cape and KoroJ cheerfully declared they had lost their mojo. I left alone with the clear visor fitted, at 9.15pm. Once I cleared the city, it was time for the secret weapon, and hitting high beam I was greeted with a massive beam of light as 6 lights went to maximum. Through testing, I’ve found I can light up reflective boards just over 1km away, and I have to leave the lights on high beam until I can see the oncoming vehicle or when they dip their lights, otherwise they flash me when I’m on low beam.

More importantly, night was no longer a concern for me, and the Waioeka Gorge was a fantastic run, with flowing corners and I maintained my pace from the afternoon, resulting in catching and passing at least 7-8 bikes. Most saw me coming quite easily, and kindly moved over, but the pack of 4 sportsbikes weren’t really using their mirrors, and passing 4 bikes all in excess of 600cc was hard work on a GSA. The 4th saw me coming and let me through, but the other 3 all required some work. When passing first I was finally able to light up the road again, and apparently he was rather surprised by the large bike passing by when we spoke afterwards.

When the gorge straightened out the sportsbikes caught up, but as they did so, and oncoming van flashed its lights, so I was in no mood to speed up, and sure enough, a couple of corners down the road a policeman was directing all traffic to the road side. Wondering what we had done (or more importantly, what they had caught us doing) it turned out they had closed to the road due to an accident. I turned down a road to the left, the sportsbikes not initially following, but with Karen the GPS automatically recalculating my route, I was off to Gisborne again and another fuel up around 10.45pm with the station attendant showing no signs of recognising me from my visit just hours before.

Some bikes passed by while refuelling, but leaving Gisborne and heading south it was a quiet run, only coming across bikes closer to Wairoa, but no-one stopped at Shell Wairoa. 50km north of Bayview I came across a couple of cones that had been placed in the oncoming lane. Some muppets evidently have no idea how dangerous the large road cones could be, so paused to move the cones off the road. Then a couple of corners later there’s a car stopped with hazards on, in a gravel layby. Checking to see if they were OK, the couple request jumper leads, but that stretches too far for my level of equipment, nor would I want to start a car from a bike. He stated he was happy to wait for another car, so I left them to it.

The roads were quiet but fog had formed, and quite thick, meaning that speeds of 70-80kph felt rather dangerous. It would come and go, and I experimented with using high beam and low beam to give the best forward visibility. At one point, the fog created a very cool effect, swirling around the bike, but my head and torso was above the fog, so it looked really cool. It didn’t last long, and then it was back to fighting my way through the thick fog.

Skirting around Napier all was quiet, but riding along the coast was very peaceful and relaxing. It was a hop skip and a jump from there to Havelock North, the next checkpoint, 3 at 1.15am. Havelock North was the opposite of Napier. It was humming, people milling everywhere in the town centre and cop cars and vans in equal abundance. I found it quite a shock to the system after spending hours in the dark countryside, and had to avoid several people as they sauntered across the road.

The checkpoint was in the middle of town, and after focussing so much on the people I completely forgot why I had to ride right through town but as I went through the roundabout I saw a couple of bikes and red shirts, and remembered it was checkpoint time. A girl by the name of Tess was there, wanting an interview, which I didn’t mind, but found the questions difficult to answer. Tess wanted the lighting right and I ended up playing up, lying on the front of my bike. The questions were complex, such as, which town are you in, and which checkpoint is this. It took a few thoughtful uhhh’s and aahh’s, but I passed with full marks, and the Rustys said that was good, otherwise I might have to be pulled out. Hardest question ever… why do you do it. I’ve never really thought about it, but I guess I like riding, some of the other riders you only catch up with each Challenge, and while doing that distance is easy enough, it’s doing that distance, in and at a specific time, with a specific route which adds to the pressure and fun.