OK it's nearly summer, we must brush up on...

**Boob Johnson** · 6th September 2007, 01:39

BBQ RULES

We will soon enter the summer and the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking that a 'real' man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved..

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...

(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:

(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine....

(5) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

Important again:

(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine....

(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

(10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women....

**skidMark** · 6th September 2007, 01:59

lol very nice

**NighthawkNZ:Me** · 6th September 2007, 07:35

Sounds about right...

But you forgot the add Man flips the meat till charcoal in colour because mand forgot to clean the BBQ last summer

**janno** · 6th September 2007, 07:41

I started laughing until I realised that's exactly how it used to go with my ex sparring partner . . .

**ynot slow** · 6th September 2007, 07:43

Pmsl,but you also forgot the part when at end,the lady picks up meat cleaver and embeds it into back of head,causing annoying headache,which due to the cooks copious ammount of ale drunk puts it down to a hangover.

**Mrs Busa Pete** · 6th September 2007, 07:44

Well it sure as hell does not work that way in my house. If he wants a bbq he does the lot although i will do the salads.

**Boob Johnson** · 6th September 2007, 19:37

Originally Posted by busa pete

Well it sure as hell does not work that way in my house. If he wants a bbq he does the lot although i will do the salads.

That's not what he told me

**ArcherWC** · 26th September 2007, 13:53

We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity.
When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.
Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine...
(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat .

Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
More routine...
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women...

**Swoop** · 26th September 2007, 14:07

You are incredibly lucky that Sniper is moving north at the moment and does not have computer access...

**Drum** · 26th September 2007, 14:08

You let the woman buy the meat? I dunno mate, that's pretty risky if you ask me.

**007XX** · 26th September 2007, 14:20

Two words come to mind to describe you boys: sweet delusion.

I miss Sniper...

**Ewan Oozarmy** · 26th September 2007, 14:29

Originally Posted by ArcherWC

(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat

This is the only point I'd dispute. Surley she should already be in possesion of another beer before coming out to tell him the meat looks great.....

**NZsarge** · 26th September 2007, 17:13

Thanks for the giggle

**Hiflyer** · 4th September 2009, 10:05

We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.
Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
More routine...
(6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat
Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN. More routine...
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts...
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ' her night off ', and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.