Rubbish man cums acros a maori leanin on his fence and said weaz ur bin?? maori sez i bin on holiday" nah bro, weaz ur wheely-bin??? OK i wheely bin in jail
Rubbish man cums acros a maori leanin on his fence and said weaz ur bin?? maori sez i bin on holiday" nah bro, weaz ur wheely-bin??? OK i wheely bin in jail
WISDOM IS KNOWING KARMA REALLY CAN'T GET YOU.
SPEED KILLS, BUT YOU GET THERE FASTER
DILLIGAF = Does it look like I give a FUCK - Hell no!
Once upon a time in a land far far away, there was a woman who didnt moan, whine or bitch!!
BUt it ws only once, and a fucken long time ago!!
Homo Sapiens Vulgaris
A man walks into a bar...
It is preferential to refrain from the utilisation of grandiose verbiage in the circumstance that your intellectualisation can be expressed using comparatively simplistic lexicological entities. (...such as the word fuck.)
Remember your humanity, and forget the rest. - Joseph Rotblat
The instructions are simple...
I just applied for a building permit for a new house. It was going to be 100ft tall and 400ft wide with 9 turrets at various heights and windows all over the place and a loud outside entertainment sound system. It would have parking for 200 cars and I was going to paint it snot green. The Town council told me to fuck off. So I sent in the application again, but this time I called it a Mosque. Work starts on Monday...
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea... does that mean that one enjoys it?.
Decal service available. Most makes/models are possible.
Race numbers. Sponsors logos.
Straight forward computer-cut signs.
Heatpress for those t-shirt ideas
GHOST SEX
A professor at Texas A&M University was giving a lecture on the
supernatural.
To get a feel for his audience, he asks, 'How many people here believe in
ghosts?'
About 90 students raise their hands.
'Well, that's a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts,
do any of you think you have seen a ghost?'
About 40 students raise their hands.
'That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously.
Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?'
About 15 students raise their hand.
'Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?'
Three students raise their hands.
'That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further....
Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?'
Way in the back, Bubba raises his hand.
The professor takes off his glasses, and says 'Son, all the years I've
been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost.
You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience.'
The big redneck student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make
his way up to the podium.
When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks,
'So, Bubba, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?'
Bubba replied, "From way back there I thought you said Goats."
"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body .... but rather to skid in sideways totally worn out .... shouting FUCK what a ride!"
I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my pint and noticed that everybody was staring at me.
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
Smarty pants... since ages ago
... with a pig under his arm. The Barman asks ... where did you get that ???Originally Posted by Mikkel
This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
The Pig says ... I won it in a raffle ...
There has been an alarming increase in the number of things I know nothing about ....
Smarty pants... since ages ago
...with a frog on top of his head. The Barman asks ... where did you get that ???This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
The FROG says ... it all started with a wart on my bum ...
There has been an alarming increase in the number of things I know nothing about ....
Integrity wins...
"Ouch...!" he said.This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
I'm gonna hit the highway like a battery hen, on a silver black mountain bike.. (Meatloaf)
could catch a monkey
Man walks up to his wife with a pig under his arm.
Says "this is the cow I've been shagging"
Wife says "That's a pig"
He says "I was talking to the pig"
could catch a monkey
Seal walks into a clubThis quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
Homo Sapiens Vulgaris
This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show QuoteGood job gentlemen...This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
So what did the sign say?
It is preferential to refrain from the utilisation of grandiose verbiage in the circumstance that your intellectualisation can be expressed using comparatively simplistic lexicological entities. (...such as the word fuck.)
Remember your humanity, and forget the rest. - Joseph Rotblat
an abo walks into a bar with a seagull on his headThis quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
where did you get that. says the barman
seagull replies...plenty more down at the tip
I would rather be judged by 12.
Than carried by 6..
An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church.
There's a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.
Then the priest comes in. "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."
The priest replies: "Fuck off. You're on my side!!!"
DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas , and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."
The rancher says, "Okay , but do not go in that field over there," as he points out the location.
The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me." Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher.
"See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.....
On any land. No questions asked or answers given.
Have I made myself clear? Do you understand? "
The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.
A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull...
With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get gored before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified.
The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs.....
"Your badge......
Show HIM, your BADGE! "
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks