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Thread: My daughter got kicked in the ... between the legs. What to do?

  1. #1
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    28th August 2005 - 17:21
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    My daughter got kicked in the ... between the legs. What to do?

    My daughter, who's eight, has been going to a "one day" school. Unfortunately this place is a fair way away so we've been ride sharing with another family - they take the kids there, we bring them home again. We've had some problems with their son being violent. He can be generally a pain in the arse at the best of times and I wrote (physically wrote) to his father following an incident where he chased her round the school and pulled her shirt off - there being enough sex predators in the world without training up any more.

    Anyway, today she heads off to spend the afternoon with these people. Events transpire that there is a playstation and a game made as part of a digital media course. Mine asks theirs if she can have a go and shortly afterwards this lad spazzes his go and in the process of not dealing with his failure kicks my daughter in the twat. She comes home looking really kinda down, says that she's been hurt emotionally as well as physically and I call kids mum on the mobile to tell her to get her arse back here now. Which she does.

    I explain. Get little boy to tell me where he kicked my daughter. Strangely he doesn't want to. Get my daughter to explain. Mother looks at me dumbly.

    "YOUR SON KICKED MY DAUGHTER IN THE VAGINA. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?"

    She starts making excuses. Kids starts smirking. I tell her that I've had a massive sense of humour failure about the whole thing and she'll have to discuss the rest of it with my better half because shit is only going to get worse if I try to deal with it. I go in the garden and boot a football around. That was half an hour or so ago and I'm still absolutely fucking fuming.

    I was going to ask .... I dunno. What would you guys do? Am I being completely unreasonable about this? Clearly we can't ride share any more. I'll give it 24 hours for them to do something about it before ... I dunno. Shit. SHIT.

    I am BIOLOGICALLY WIRED to look after this little girl. What was I supposed to do?

    Visitors have arrived. Gonna go try be pleasant.

    Dave
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  2. #2
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    A sane reply

    I would talk to your daughter seriously... I have a 8 year old, and she would definitely let rip if someone did that to her... with tears... and demand they get sorted.

    Mind you she is her mothers daughter.

    On the other side of the fence, I would not participate in any more contact with this lad, and let the parents know exactly why, you have every right to be angry...

    News tonight: its not anti smacking, its bringing our children up to be good parents themselves... (it will never happen, cause society can't fix bad parents)

    So be a good parent, and remove her from any further incidences.
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  3. #3
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    Being kicked between the legs really really hurts!! It's not just boys who suffer when that happens.

    I agree with rocketgal68 though, if there is any way possible ensure your daughter doesn't have to have any contact with them again. I have to say that given that there is history with this boy being a PITA and now it is physical I would be guaranteeing my daughter was never in this boys company again.
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  4. #4
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    Your feelings are natural mate! As a father of 2 girls, I understand the desire to rip someones head off.

    Your daughter did really well in talking to you about this, she is to be commended for doing this. Make sure you tell her she has not "told on" anyone. If you are still fired up, then get your better half to have the conversation with the boys mum- if you get your back up and say the wrong thing (which is completely understandable) then that will become the focus for the boys mum- not her toad of a child's behavior.

    The boys parents need to be made fully aware that there son has engaged in behavior that will ring serious alarm bells as he gets older- maybe having a talk with his teacher, will enable him/her to involve "others" if he acts up again at school.

    Sorry if this all seems a bit clichéd mate, but at the end of the day if you are concerned for your daughters safety then you have every right to go to the police.
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  5. #5
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    i think you could still have charges laid, despite the youth of both kids. at the very least, report it to the cops. who knows... he may get worse as he gets older, specially if his mother tries to bluff her way out of it and make excuses. pulling her shirt off also points towards worsening behaviour. did this happen during school time? if so, report it to the principal.

    i hope your daughter is feeling better. i think an extra hug tonight would do wonders for her.
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  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by RantyDave View Post
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    I was going to ask .... I dunno. What would you guys do? Am I being completely unreasonable about this? Clearly we can't ride share any more. I'll give it 24 hours for them to do something about it before ... I dunno. Shit. SHIT.

    I am BIOLOGICALLY WIRED to look after this little girl. What was I supposed to do?

    Visitors have arrived. Gonna go try be pleasant.

    Dave
    Mate, can't say that I would do anything different... Well I'm pretty sure I couldn't do it any better than you.

    Be proud of your daughter for talking to you properly about what happened. Sounds like she is onto it.

    If the toe rags parents couldn't work it out the first time and by the sound of it are not going to be able to the second time then I would end all contact with them. I would also Write to the day school involved and inform them of what has happened.

    Our kids are to precious for us to muck about with.

    Be interested to know how you get on
    Quote Originally Posted by Mully
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    The mind boggles.

    Unless you were pillioning the sheep - which is more innocent I suppose (but no less baffling)

  7. #7
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    Yep its very wrong, and this boy is probly a smarmy little bullying shit. Have a word with a bigger boy, and get him to smack smarmy boy around... daily.

    No really, that aint right, but kids seem to know they can get away with it... infuriating. Does sound like you are giving it calm thought, so see what the parents of smarmy shit say, and if it dont sound nice. Have a word with the police to see what they say. Maybe they will calmly visit smarmy shit's parents.
    The wife's a communist.

  8. #8
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    There's a lot of that these days, due to many factors, but mainly the parents I fell.
    My son has caused me grief, and he's only 5. His temper got the better of him, and he lashed out.
    I don't put up with this behaviour, nor condone it. If the parents are not going to discipline their child, then I would remove mine from any contact. No kid deserves to be on the recieving end of that kind of violence.
    Not easy, I know I'd be furious as well.
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  9. #9
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    I work with children that have difficulties communicating and socializing with other children, is this his problem, or does he just have a bad temper...

    Either way you direct your attention away from anger (permitted)... and focus on the reasons he behaves this way, at the same time removing her.

    A child that lashes out with hitting requires only one thing in my eyes, patience & love... as they are frustrated and this is how they react...

    Its amazing how talking to a child in a whisper "makes them listen"!
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  10. #10
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    This would never have happened if your daughter had a gun.
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  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocketgal68 View Post
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    I work with children that have difficulties communicating and socializing with other children, is this his problem, or does he just have a bad temper...

    Either way you direct your attention away from anger (permitted)... and focus on the reasons he behaves this way, at the same time removing her.

    A child that lashes out with hitting requires only one thing in my eyes, patience & love... as they are frustrated and this is how they react...

    Its amazing how talking to a child in a whisper "makes them listen"!
    Great post Rocketgal.

    I'm wondering if this boy has behavioural problems. My own children's primary school experiences were generally good and any child who behaved as you describe (it sounds like its his regular behaviour) had deeper problems.

    The police can do nothing.

    You've spoken to the parents - good. The next step is to visit the principal of the school and firmly explain your concerns. Your daughter is entitled to feel safe at school. Remind them of that. Deliver a letter recording this matter (and past incidents if you wish).

    Schools need to react to bullying and violence as early as possible. You are also helping this little boy - and the rest of us in the longterm.

  12. #12
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    Whoa mate, as a father of two (a girl and a boy) I'd have been beside myself if that happened. God kids these days!
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  13. #13
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    I am assuming the daughter suffered no injuries?

    I would have a doctor check her out regardless. Ask for a medical report and demand the parents of the boy pay for the consultation.

    Include copy of medical report with letter to the school to prove that it is not one parent against another.

    School is then compelled to take action in respect of any further incident.

    As a grand dad of 5 I really feel for you.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by RantyDave View Post
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    My daughter, who's eight, has been going to a "one day" school. Unfortunately this place is a fair way away so we've been ride sharing with another family - they take the kids there, we bring them home again. We've had some problems with their son being violent. He can be generally a pain in the arse at the best of times and I wrote (physically wrote) to his father following an incident where he chased her round the school and pulled her shirt off - there being enough sex predators in the world without training up any more.

    Anyway, today she heads off to spend the afternoon with these people. Events transpire that there is a playstation and a game made as part of a digital media course. Mine asks theirs if she can have a go and shortly afterwards this lad spazzes his go and in the process of not dealing with his failure kicks my daughter in the twat. She comes home looking really kinda down, says that she's been hurt emotionally as well as physically and I call kids mum on the mobile to tell her to get her arse back here now. Which she does.

    I explain. Get little boy to tell me where he kicked my daughter. Strangely he doesn't want to. Get my daughter to explain. Mother looks at me dumbly.

    "YOUR SON KICKED MY DAUGHTER IN THE VAGINA. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?"

    She starts making excuses. Kids starts smirking. I tell her that I've had a massive sense of humour failure about the whole thing and she'll have to discuss the rest of it with my better half because shit is only going to get worse if I try to deal with it. I go in the garden and boot a football around. That was half an hour or so ago and I'm still absolutely fucking fuming.

    I was going to ask .... I dunno. What would you guys do? Am I being completely unreasonable about this? Clearly we can't ride share any more. I'll give it 24 hours for them to do something about it before ... I dunno. Shit. SHIT.

    I am BIOLOGICALLY WIRED to look after this little girl. What was I supposed to do?

    Visitors have arrived. Gonna go try be pleasant.

    Dave
    Must be something wrong with that kid! (the boy) :slap:

    Even at the tender year of eight, I knew that those little treasure troves (baby camel toe's) had magic powers!

    For that kid to even think of kicking a girl there tells me he's fucked in the head and completely without hope!

    Kinda like a turkey bird voting for an early Christmas! Somehow the fucking world has got it's self upside down!
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  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Forest View Post
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    This would never have happened if your daughter had a gun.
    You are not far wrong there.

    I don't get how society turns into animals when there are no consequences. Most talk of "morals" is about what someone else should or should not do, but I think real morals are what happens when no consequences will be brought to bear on inappropriate actions.

    Teach her to fight, mate. Yeah maybe that sounds "morally wrong" but what is worse? Her being a victim? If there HAS to be a be a victim and sometimes there does, better it was someone else and not her.

    Don't get angry - get strong and get even, and don't take the world lying down or it will eat you.


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