Katiepie graduates

[pritch]

That's odd... normally good looking birds suffer from the other end of the spectrum, white knight syndrome

Funny, one of the "haters" postulated that people were only helping because it was an attractive girl. Bollocks of course. There were probably nearly as many reasons for donating as there were donors.

[Hitcher]

Trolls were being trolls? Can I have an abridged over-view?

Trolls can't help themselves at times, or so it appears.

[Crasherfromwayback]

You're going incredibly well Katie. Best advice I can give you is this. Tell the cunts out there to get fucked. Works for me.

[Rhys]

You're going incredibly well Katie. Best advice I can give you is this. Tell the cunts out there to get fucked. Works for me.

I couldn't put it any better my self !

[Reckless]

You're going incredibly well Katie. Best advice I can give you is this. Tell the cunts out there to get fucked. Works for me.

+1 Crasher Nastiness/Snyd remarks/Jealousy/being a cunt is always more about them.

Rule no 1: "let other peoples shit be other peoples shit"

[Paul in NZ]

Katie – I’m sorry you have been through this but it was almost a given it would happen. If it’s of any solace your situation is not unique although it is more extreme.

There is a misconception that all ‘bikers’ share some kind of brotherhood of the road. While that’s true at a theoretical level it does not go much past that in the real world. Many people have bikes but wouldn’t dream of going to rallies or on organised rides etc because they don’t fit in and feel picked on.. Hell if we are being honest most of us on KB are here precisely because we don’t fit in anywhere else.

There is a disturbing trend for people to think that riding a bike makes them ‘special’, well hard or gives them super toughness and sadly they start to morph into super bikerman. This persona can be a grizzled 1% type, a 1000 yard stare “I just rode around the world’ guy or the knee dragging, car carving superbike man or any point between. It doesn’t – owning a motorcycle only proves that at some point you had enough cash to purchase it (or steal it). If you are a prick before you got into bikes you are just a prick with a bike afterwards - sadly a bike usually magnifies the prick part so you become a giant prick...

The reality is that there are very few 100% committed bikers and most of us struggle along finding spare money to keep our bikes functional while keeping our real lives going while not letting on that the reason we can’t go to the rally/ride is that I have to take Johnny to ballet lessons. Motorcycling just has to fit in around my real life. Its a part of that life but not the only part - balance in everything I say.

One true thing is that unhappiness is usually due to a gap between reality and expectation. Lowering your expectations is the only option here. But also be aware that the vast majority are supportive but they are not likely to say that directly as that’s just not their style. The negatives are small in number but every one of them will go to great lengths to make you very much aware of the fact. Effectively it’s a silent majority vs a vocal minority.

Sex – yes it matters… Your gender counts. For many reasons I’m not going into, Vicki has zero desire to ride her own bike and its probably best she does not. I have bought her bikes to try and she has had lessons etc but she has zero desire BUT she loves going with me for a ride. She has repeatedly been harassed by well meaning (although misguided) women demanding to know why she isn’t on her own bike instead of being at the mercy of some male… (or words to this effect)… Often from people she has never met before… Its mind numbing… For some reason women riding bikes sparks up emotion in other women more than men and its bad enough in men… Its freaky..

End of it all – Vicki and I wish you well and enjoy your being out there on the ‘net. I hope you continue but remember that there will always be small minded nasty people – just avoid them if you can and don’t get hard hearted like they are. Oh – and buy a mountain bike and come out with us some time, its way less stressful. Plus we are happy to go for a ride with anyone... well almost anyone.... ;-)

[Grashopper]

Some people really suck!

The good news is that there are a lot of good people around, you just have to find them (I nearly put the c word in there. I’m really hanging around here too much…).

That could be the girl you start riding with because she has the same bike as you, but who lives hours away, the guys that you’ve never met before who fix your bike so you don’t get stranded in the middle of nowhere, or a friend in a workshop just down the road.

Is there a biker brotherhood? I don’t know, but it is a hobby that connects and I find it sad that can’t you really do that anymore in Welly.

Come to Taupo. We have great roads here and there is less wind and less cars. Although, sometimes I think I am the entire riding scene here.

(I know, I’ve been slacking off a bit, but I’m still following your ride. If I can I will be at the finishing line, cheering for you!)

[F5 Dave]

Wow that blows me away that people can be like that. I won’t do a Cunliffe & apologise for being a wellington biker, but obviously there are some groups & then there are others. I only tend to go riding with one or two mates, or alone which I find suits me best most of the time.

Your story when I became aware of it in the paper & then here on KB, I have only followed sparingly but I was encouraged & touched by your progress & spirit, so thank you for that.

My wife has recently taken on someone else’s idea & found it therapeutic. - An Arsehole book.

You have to do a bit to get in there, but once your name is entered, that’s it, she doesn’t have to think about them & why they are being dicks. They’re just an arsehole. Avoid them, ignore them & get on with enjoying those that make you happy.

I’ve only met you a few times, and of those had to ask people if that was the R6 chick (sorry if I starred at your forehead) because you looked like her but without the scars when I first met you.

I’ll certainly say hi if I see you at Boxing day or wherever (or to some other random person, I’m a bit crap at faces).

Ride safe, keep well.

And screw the arseholes (figuratively rather than literally).

[Katiepie]

I thank you for your feedback and comments. Some of you who I have had much respect for since I first started riding 5 years ago, and who I keep in contact with from time in time. Thank you.

What I didn't make very clear in my haste to get a few things written down, is that I am now doing very well. It has been about a year now where I have been in a safe place again, stronger in the mind, harder in the heart, focussed, driven and possibly more stubborn than I have ever been before. It is now that I am well again, there everything effects me differently because I am in control of myself and how I react to anything that might pop up. At the time, I lost all of that ability to "just ignore others". I did not have that filter, as many of us know in here the black cloud takes a lot of that ability and control away from you and you have to work hard to get it back. I work hard, very hard I have that control back. Yes, a little lonely at times, but that is a common human trait and I actively work on new friendships and meeting people through some charity work I do from time to time and there sure are some wonderful people in this world. Many of them here reading this post too. This I know, and have never doubted.

But I needed to put a few truths out there and fill on the gaps of why I perhaps became as unwell as I did, recovered as slowly as I did, said things I shouldn't have said along the way. I did this for me, because I have been feeling unseasy about not saying something and doing what too many people do - NOT talk about bullying, not talk about depression, not talk about asking for help. For saying what I have said I feel more settled about a few things, and have some very exciting thing ahead in my new life and world. I am genuinely happier than I have ever been in my entire life, and I honestly feel I needed to go through these past couple of years to get there. I can't quite tell you how rewarding it is to feel as I do inside me now, I hold no grudges, I have no hate, still a little confusion along the way but I am doing well to process that. I have also learnt from the many mistakes I made along the way and believe I am a better person for learning from these things. I am far from a saint, and needed to do a hell of a lot of growing up - some of that process started on here, through words spoken, from my poor reactions... I have formed distant friendships with some I never would have wanted to or expect to, I am learning respect for both others, and myself.

It will take me a while to feel more confident riding my motorbike around people who hurt me once before, but I will get there and it's all a part of healing and learning, my problem, no one elses.

For now, I am right where I want to be - with a stable job, better health, my amazing dogs, a gorgeous little country house to live in that makes me very happy, new desires, new dreams ahead, self confidence again, some very good people in my world, a family I love more than anything... and, I still have my motorbike. I know what a lucky and rich girl I really am.

[Paul in NZ]

End of the day Katie it’s YOU that you need to invest in - you don't need our approval to be happy... I'd go for a ride with you any day but I'm not asking you to like me or approve of the rest of my life because let’s face it our worlds outside motorcycles just plain don't intersect. You may (for instance) detest my taste in bed linen or doilies. Crudely put, I don't need to like you and you don't need to like me but that does not mean we can't enjoy each other’s company while we are riding bikes because we both like that....

You have suffered a major injury and it really messes you up. Others here can tell you similar stories - also there are those here with chronic illness that while it’s seemingly a physical thing, it erodes your core as well because every minute of every day a significant portion of you is actually needed to be away someplace else just dealing with pain or keeping things going. Sometimes there is not enough left to work on getting on with others or maintaining your own happiness. I try to avoid going riding with people I don't know because explaining for the umpteenth time that yes I'm not making it up - I'm a diagnosed coeliac with type 1 diabetes (no not because I ate too much sugar) and cystitis so yeah I really DO need to stop for lunch and yeah I can’t just make do with a pie from the servo. So I make sure I look after my needs so that I can also be acceptable to others.

Personally theres a lot of stuff here I look at and somehow - trite as it is - it cheers me up...

http://www.marcandangel.com/2014/06/...o-anyone-else/

[MIXONE]

There is a Whitby Riders group set up on fb Katie and they are a small bunch of guys and girls who share the love of riding bikes.Everything from Kawasaki 250 to Goldwing and no prejudices.Check them out if you want to meet some like minded,nice people.

[Ocean1]

Can I just put this here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_No_Asshole_Rule
And this: http://www.amazon.com/The-Asshole-Ru.../dp/0446698202

Which I found compelling enough to attempt to incorporate into areas of my personal space outside of work. Not difficult in my case because my work is my work, if you know what I mean, so I have somewhat more control in that regard than most. However, I've found it refreshingly applicable in implementing arsehole free zones across most areas of my life.

So much so that I can heartily recommend the general practice of pointing out arseholes impinging on any area of one's personal life at every opportunity, and where possible of banishing them from your life completely. I can't claim to have been completely successful, but I have been surprised and pleased at how much better life is simply from having made the conscious attempt. None of them have anything to contribute that compensates even slightly for the extreme unpleasantness their continued close proximity entails.

If you should require the slightest assistance with regards to the implementation of the above please don't hesitate to let me know.

[nerrrd]

Think my first ever post was on this thread what a journey you've had, my motorcycling career (life even?) has been all gravy by comparison.

Never really understood the problem some people have with the idea of getting professional help for matters of the mind, but that's people for you; riding my bike is great for my mental health, not sure I'd be able to drag myself to work some days if there wasn't a ride to and from thrown in (albeit a short one).

Hope things continue to get better.

[Daffyd]

Well, I have to say that I'm absolutely gobsmacked by what I have just read! I couldn't believe that anyone could talk to a "friend" or relative in the way that you have been spoken to.

I am so glad that you have got through it ok, and wish you all the best for your ride in November and for the future.

[The Baron]

Many years ago I had a sign in my office. It read.


Don't let the bastards beat you.


When things got bad I would read the sign.