CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let
As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears,
promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the
but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm."
agrees. "What's the second condition?" "You must be home by 2:00 a.m.
later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."
Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m. The appointed hour comes and
and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella shows
looking love struck and very satisfied. "Where have you been?" demands
Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin
hours ago!!!" " I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of
The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of
Tell me his name!"
Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly, ...Peter, Peter,
PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about
splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit
Gepetto to see if he could help.
Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and
skipped away enlightened.
A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through
and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"
Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was walking through the woods when suddenly the
Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her
said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"
To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket
pulled out a .44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No, you're
You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book."
MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the judge said
Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy." Mickey replied, "I
say she was crazy, I said she's f**king Goofy."
SNOW WHITE saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up behind
knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face crying, "Lie to
Lie to me!"
Did you know...Captain Hook died from jock itch.