The Trade Me questions thread

[kevfromcoro]

From a set of tyres on rims:

Hi Would you know how many stud holes on these rims, Cheers.

Not sure sorry. If you phone the holden dealer they will tell you. They are off a 89 holden calais

...
Ha ha,,,yr joking right.

[marty]

Some people are missing their funny bone...

Comment: Good lord, man, 1300km in two years? I did more mileage than on my current bike the weekend I bought it. You've wound back that digital odometer, haven't you? Admit it! ;-) posted by: jrandom

Answer: Piss off idiot, inspection of the bike will confirm the km


http://www.trademe.co.nz/Trade-Me-Mo...637812.htm?p=7

would be THIS Jrandom would it ?>>>>>>> http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/member.php?u=3866

[bane]

would be THIS Jrandom would it ?>>>>>>> http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/member.php?u=3866

you may very well think that, but "good lord, man", I couldnt possibly comment

[Swoop]

Took a while to find, and the photo of the parts has gone, but the infamous auction is here. Bids were in excess of a $million, IIRC.

http://www.trademe.co.nz/Electronics...n-36725938.htm

Unfinished project.
Started making a machine to facillitate time travel, unfortunately I just dont have the time to complete it.

Have had mixed results, so no guarantees.

Would suit DIY handyman with quantum physics background or similar intersest.

No time wasters please !

Would consider swap for anti-gravity machine.

QUESTIONS:
Comments on this auction
Do you have the flux capacitor to go with this? I can't see it in the photo.. posted by: studio1 (394 ) 5:06 pm, Tue 27 Sep
This model does not use a flux capacitor to reduce the time dilation effect. Are you sure you know what you are doing ?

Does this run on mains? What's the reserve? What will postage be to Palmerston North? posted by: izzy_dude (87 ) 8:24 pm, Tue 27 Sep
The machine can be self powered if you can find a source of Uranium 235. Alternatively it can run of mains power supply. Postage anywhere in NZ, anytime $5

haha. great stuff. +bids+ posted by: westyandseven (123 ) 4:20 am, Wed 28 Sep
haha. If its so great why arent you bidding ?

I've got a space continuum transfunctioner. Would you consider swaping it for that? It's a bit rough and ready and blows a little bule smoke but appears to be running ok. posted by: allmypukunui (24 ) 10:23 am, Wed 28 Sep
space continuum transfunctioners are old school. I used to have one and it blew blue smoke too, just before it blew up. Get rid of it now.

I'd like to go back & see my Great Uncle Rodney when he was 18 because he skulled a jug of beer in only 3.2 seconds & I'd certainly like to see that! I'm pretty sure that I have the necessary skills to complete the project too. I got a C+ in 4th form Science & two sticky red stars. posted by: mrshin (363 ) 1:34 pm, Wed 28 Sep
Certainly an event worthy of time travel. And if any one can get this puppy working, its you - with your fancy two red stars, and forth form education.

Will this machine be capable of going forwards as well as backwards it time. I built one in 2052 that only went backwards and I haven't been able to get back to my time. I need one that can go boths ways so I can come back to this time to feed the cat I have. posted by: jd10 (234 ) 2:07 pm, Wed 28 Sep
interesting dilema, but simply answered by the formula : dt = dt' . (1 - v²/c²)1/2 which i have designed the device around, in theory past and future travel should be possible. I have sympathy for you and your cat, but when amateurs play with time travel this is what happens.

i looove it... its a master piece in progress ;p posted by: moooona (254 ) 6:47 pm, Wed 28 Sep
this is not a piece of conceptual art. it is a very serious quantum level time travelling device - well would be if it worked.

Does it have fast forward, rewind and pause? posted by: izzy_dude (87 ) 9:21 am, Thu 29 Sep
Time is a little more complicated than fast forwarding, rewinding and pause. The time reference dilator is capable of such functions but the theory behind it is somewhat unproven. It does have an eject button if thats any help ?

[Swoop]

Here's a curly question... If I traveled back in time to when I was ten years old, do you think it would be illegal for me to fondle my younger self? posted by: absolut (22 ) 2:13 pm, Thu 29 Sep
in a court of law i believe what you are describing would be classed as Self pleasure, or perhaps self abuse Either way both are perfectly legal no matter what the age. If you were caught they would have issues proving it via DNA anyway

Back in '82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile. Would this machine be able to take me back in time so I could take State? posted by: nzjafa (2 ) 3:10 pm, Thu 29 Sep
you need to give up on your glory years, and live for the now. A quarter mile is pretty impressive though, is that for real ?

Does the eftpos machine work on Pre-pay time credits or pay as you travel? posted by: steve__ (26 ) 3:31 pm, Thu 29 Sep
i see you have mistaken the time defliberator for an old eftpos machine. Easy mistake for beginners to time travel to make, they do look similar.

If I am successful with my bid, do you think there is sufficient grunt in the machine to go back to the beginning of this auction, wipe out all memory of it, so I don't have to pay you. posted by: bubbs29 (81 ) 4:04 pm, Thu 29 Sep
if the auction dosnt take place, you would never have the time machine, so you would be stuck in the past, with no machine to get back to the present. time is a dangerous thing to play with, and you really need to carefully consider the consequences, before you start mucking with the past, and breaching time continuation

Ha! Call me an amateur. I just fixed my time machine. All I had to do was put the AA batteries in the other way round and now it goes forwards in time! See you suckers later, Im going back to the future. Oh and as a heads up to the winner of this auction everything in the future is chrome posted by: jd10 (234 ) 4:29 pm, Thu 29 Sep
Please note AA batteries were only invented in 1968 so dont go back beyond this time. Also they will be phased in 2010 due to the invention of the organic fuel cell, brought on by the severe depletion of the worlds battery resources. So dont go forward in time past this date.

Yes I do know what I am doing.. without the flux capacitor I can't modulate the 21 gigawatts of energy I need to transmogrify the time / space continuum. So far all attempts to locate a flux capacitor have proved fruitless, hence why I haven't been able to time travel. They've got them in the future, but I can't get there to get one. posted by: studio1 (394 ) 4:39 pm, Thu 29 Sep
I dont know a great deal about flux capacitors as my machine does not use one. You could try getting in contact with Marty McFly, his delorean time machine is based on Flux capaitation and he maybe able to supply you with one. May pay to get a couple cos they dont last to long apparently. I think I saw one for sale on trademe a while back..

I have half of my cheese and tomato sandwich left from lunch, would you consider a trade? posted by: adamstar (57 ) 4:44 pm, Thu 29 Sep
What kind of dressing ?

do you think i could get your theory on paper so i can build my own time machine, all i need is a prtable phone, efptos machine, shit coomputer tower, headset, spard floppy disc and some random wires,.....that way i can go back and have sex with any one i want no mater what they say and it would be legal because by the time i am back in this time i wouldnt of aged a bit so they will be looking for someone 15 years older....... this machine sounds great...maybe i could be a hero and stop the 7/1 posted by: sldwys1 (50 ) 4:48 pm, Thu 29 Sep
unfortunately its all in my head, and a bit hard to explain to people not hip with the theories behing time travel. you seems to have the parts down, but you also need a positive, can do attitude, and a certain amount of qunatum physics knowledge. And an awful lot of patience. it amazes me how many people wish to use time travel for sexual gratification, it is not what it was designed for.

I am particularly saddened to have been outbid. However $9.52 was the limit of my budget (being as it is 76% of my annual income). By the way, what are these things that go whoosh when they pass my buggy on the road? posted by: rogerp (509 ) 4:48 pm, Thu 29 Sep
Those things going woosh would be cars going the speed limit. You should consider a new job, a monkey gets paid more in a zoo.

Would it be safe for pets? posted by: bigbobthefob (82 ) 5:10 pm, Thu 29 Sep
The testing I have carried out to date involved animals. I received varying results and dont want to disclose to much because the SPCA may get wind of this. Im sure if you were able to get it working correctly it would be safe for all organic life forms.

ATTENTION ALL BIDDERS AND WATCHERS ALIKE! I have already won this auction. I collected the incomplete model and I used my skills to complete the project in only 42 days. I then travelled back in time just to send you this message to prove that it actually works ! I am a genius. Also the winning lotto numbers for this Saturday are: 6, 9, 23, 29, 32, 37 & 40. The powerball is 19. posted by: mrshin (363 ) 5:20 pm, Thu 29 Sep
Cool, it seems this auction ends with a successful bid. congratulations!

what does it do. if the edge reads this i am the man shout out to 50 cent from te kowhai posted by: soliduz (54 ) 5:25 pm, Thu 29 Sep
Yea Wordup 50 Cent!! he's my home boy from da hood.... we go way back.

Hi ; can you confirm that the phase modulation has been accurately calibrated on this. I've read on the geeksquad forums that incorrectly calibrated phase modulation while time travelling can make a guy grow boobies. posted by: arcad23 (99 ) 5:29 pm, Thu 29 Sep
I have noticed this i had put it down to old age and The Noodle Box but you have me thinking....

YES I HAVE A ANTI GRAVITY MACHINE THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SWAP. COULD YOU FINISH YOUR TIME MACHINE AND BRING IT TO TAURANGA AND GO BACK IN TIME TO WHEM MY ANTI GRAVITY MACHINE KICKED INTO GEAR AND FLOATED OFF TOWARDS THE SUN, IF YOU CAN DO THIS IT WILL PREVENT IT TAKING OFF AND THEN YOU CAN SWAP IT. THANKYOU FROM JASON. posted by: jase59 (150 ) 5:29 pm, Thu 29 Sep
Sorry the reserve price has already been met.

Hi Mike, This is great!! My dad was once a Great Viking Warrior in his past life.This would make a great present for him to go back in time and find out where and when he was killed in battle.WATCHING WITH INTEREST!!! as he still displays many viking attributes today. posted by: dancer17 (223 ) 5:37 pm, Thu 29 Sep
unfortunately you have missed fathers day. Possibly the perfect fathers day gift. good to see your motives are for time travel are genuine and historical, not to distort time or go on some crazy rampage, for your own gain. Good for you

If I bought this, and then went back in time and stopped myself buying the time machine, would I completly disapear? Or would it cause a rip in the space/time continium and cause the earth to fold in on itself? posted by: cjh1 (474 ) 5:41 pm, Thu 29 Sep
You see this is the issue. people like you who want to experiment with time and see "what would happen". What if the earth did fold in on its self...then what. Whoops ......! Time travel is very serious and there are HUGE repurcussions, with breaking the time continuim. With time travel comes a certain responsibility to the rest of man kind.

can i go bak to when powerball was 16mill and win lotto,that would be fantastically methologacally great posted by: kurto48 (65 ) 6:16 pm, Thu 29 Sep
A machine of this sort should mot be used for personal gain...

sushi anyone ??????????? posted by: jmanshande (226 ) 7:11 pm, Thu 29 Sep
I rather like Noodle Box if your buying?

[Swoop]

Can you please tell me how many speeds the dischargeable time synchroniser has. Also, does the machine operate at the same speed going forward as in going backwards, and if so how long would it take me to travel backwards 100 years. posted by: bubbs29 (81 ) 7:33 pm, Thu 29 Sep
It is an older Synchroniser Forward is 16X Speed backwards 4X Speed

would you be willing to swap for The Tardis, which i have in my possession. Its the original that Doctor Who himself used. posted by: trade51 (26 ) 8:03 pm, Thu 29 Sep
Does it come with Billie Piper?

hi does it have seating and for how many.does the phone work and what network is it on thankes posted by: alana30 (29 ) 8:15 pm, Thu 29 Sep
Sorry you will have to supply your own seats as i am now using mine in my home theater.

I have 3 money growing trees planted on the moon. Would you consider a trade for 1? posted by: shano38 (18 ) 8:40 pm, Thu 29 Sep
how big are these money trees, and how do you harvest the money, as i know for a fact moon travel is an impossibility. it is impossible to get to the moon to get harvest the money. despite this i will definately consider a swap.

Hey does this travel to 8.10pm Saturdays and then return to Friday nite. Mmmm this is sounding real good and hey cheap when you think of being able to win lotto each week. And ah this is just the start. Maybe I better consult the bank manager for a quicky loan. posted by: teddybearlady (340 ) 8:43 pm, Thu 29 Sep
Funnilly enough I could never get it to travel to 8.10pm Saturday. What is your bank managers name and I can give him a call if you like. Lotto is small time - with the power to travel time you can think big.

howz it do u wana swap 4 my sole have a look at my listings posted by: lowedvtec (43 ) 8:51 pm, Thu 29 Sep
That depends. What kind of shoe is your sole from?

Does this unit allow you to travel sideways through time, if so, how many miles to the litre? Also, could you confirm that this is a genuine time-travel device, as my last few time-machine purchases turned out to be frauds. posted by: brandoooon (19 ) 8:53 pm, Thu 29 Sep
No it does not allow sideways travel through time as this unit was only designed to work 1-dimesionaly. It also does not depend on any non-renewable hydrocarbon resource for power. I can confirm this is a genuine work-in-progress and you would only be cheating yourself by not getting it working.

Hi Mike, on the previous listing, I asked a question, I believe it is still pertinent to this listing, could you please answer it, cheers Johnee. posted by: johnee (226 ) 9:09 pm, Thu 29 Sep
If the device was currently working i would be able to go back in time to check your question, unfortunetly it is still in its unfinished state so you will need to repost the question.

could you give me the full formula for the physics of this machine, i will need it if i am going to continue to work on this invention, thanks posted by: godave (34 ) 9:11 pm, Thu 29 Sep
Yes but it wont be what you expected!

If you dont have time why dont you just complete it and then go back in time to when you didnt have time and then you would have already finished it. Duh posted by: lin40 (4 ) 9:41 pm, Thu 29 Sep
Your pretty smart! If you got this time machine i'd bet you would be smart enough to make it work... but your probably to busy trying to cure cancer or something.

Are you all completely out of your minds?? posted by: shebedevil (161 ) 10:03 pm, Thu 29 Sep
Moon struck thunder over the swamp in autumn, rules and customs are disregarded. Contradictions say both yes and no and you must try to understand both sides.

i will be your giney pig on a bogus jerney if you send me back i will mack sure hallen clark taks all her beauty sleep not just 2 hours a night ,i will allso make time stand still when when i get out bid on my next auction call me about the giney pig deal any "time" on 0900 spaceman. thanks 4 your time.ps do u have a buy now ,or yesterday ,or tomorw posted by: pepe5 (67 ) 10:13 pm, Thu 29 Sep
I have actually trialed this on a Guinea pig and the results were not pleasing. My legal advice is i need some serious arse consent forms signed before I do any more "trials". i actually have a theory that helen Clark is a space traveller from both a differnt time, planet and dimension. her politics actively demotes research into time travel,

have you programmed, or allowed for, a few memory times? perhaps so when you have to leave a time in a hurry you can do so? as i have a few 'jobs' i have to do, and they will require quick exit.... posted by: chris_2million (20 ) 10:32 pm, Thu 29 Sep
Sounds awfully suspicous. Quantum physists are renowned for their high ethics and morals. I would have to question your motives and interest in time travel. It is unsafe to have just anyone travelling the tides of time, there is so much potential for so much damage to be done

Hi i have something that can solve your problems cheque out my listing 4 one preloved timeing light good nik has helped in meany time related matters like getting the dloren up in runing and my phonebox please reply to DR who at the red phonebox on the corner of the world just past santas place ,thanks 4 your time ps you can buy now the timeing light 4 $one pot of gold,or a bank cheque. posted by: pepe5 (67 ) 10:36 pm, Thu 29 Sep
there is nothing wrong with the timing, the issue seems to be with the particle atomization unit, its making a clunking noise. And tends to rematerilise objects anatomically incorrect. I.e it once put a guinea pigs arse on its face, and its face on its arse.

I have noticed recent eddies in the space/time continuum. Does this reflect your recent testing regime with your machine? posted by: historyman (268 ) 12:11 am, Fri 30 Sep
Perhaps or maybe your losing your mind?

[Swoop]

Oops, another question: does the main power source have adaptive capability allowing for mating to an Improbability Drive? Second sub-question: is the user manual translated by the same guy that wrote on a $2 shop toy "Plug you in and watch for educative flashing effect of lights"? posted by: historyman (268 ) 12:16 am, Fri 30 Sep
One question per person please.

These questions and answers are the funniest thing I have ever seen on TradeMe! Brilliant! posted by: arrh (206 ) 12:58 am, Fri 30 Sep
What that Auction for season 1 and 2 of Americas funniest home videos. That show is some funny as shit. Bob saget rocks Hard !!! that was the funniest thing I ever saw on trademe !

I would like to know where you got the patent for this time machine from.As i am part in a group of professionals dedicated to creating and marketing "spare time"...I believe a copyright infringmint may have occured here by you. I will contact my research and development department ( I believe they are on the couch in the middle of research atm ) and discuss this further with them. posted by: woosh (56 ) 8:20 am, Fri 30 Sep
Let them discuss all they like with a time machine copyright infringmint is not an issue.

I want to avoid the use of nuclear power and stick with mains. Have you worked out the number of metres of cable required per year of travel. Does it vary going forward or backward? I've got the recipe for elastic copper wire. Could this help in its range. If so perhaps some of those followong this auction would like to make me an offer. posted by: bazz34 (16 ) 10:08 am, Fri 30 Sep
i havent figured out the length needed per year yet. I found out the hard way that a 20 metre cable isnt long enough for 5 years of time travel - the cord was yanked out at the wall, and I lost my cat inbetween times. retrieved the machine by pulling on the cord. Elastic copper wire could be useful for bungy time travelling.

ATTENTION ALL BIDDERS AND WATCHERS ALIKE! I have already won this auction. I collected the incomplete model and I used my skills to complete the project in only 42 days. I then travelled back in time just to send you this message to prove that it actually works ! I am a genius. Also the winning lotto numbers for this Saturday are: 6, 9, 23, 29, 32, 37 & 40. The powerball is 19. posted by: mrshin (146 ) 5:20 pm, Thu 29 Sep posted by: mrshin (363 ) 10:37 am, Fri 30 Sep
To ensure history continuity it is vital that you win this bid, and also do not meet your self in a differnt time. So you actually need to bid!!! Great to hear you got it going, was it the flux capacitor or the time reference dilator ?

I'm very interested in upgrading to your machine, as mine is getting a bit worn......can I come and inspect your machine..?? How does last Wednesday sound...?? posted by: biggzblues (27 ) 10:49 am, Fri 30 Sep
Sorry i had a court arraignment last Wednesday.

Do you have a perpetual motion machine for sale? posted by: jovi1 (99 ) 10:50 am, Fri 30 Sep
Of course not! Everyone knows this is impossible! Have you not read the laws of Thermodynamics?

I bet it isn't 90% fat free per 100 grams!! posted by: peanutaxis (34 ) 10:54 am, Fri 30 Sep
I bet you it is.

Bubbs29 had an interesting question about wiping the auction. Your answer Miked was quite incorrect. I recently bid on http://www.trademe.co.nz/structure/l...htype=GENERAL& searchstring=36725312&searchregion=100 and succeeded, then notified Trademe who withdrew the auction - but I still have Skippy. Neither Trademe, the Police, nor the original seller can prove I don't have it. If anyone visits I merely go back in time to prior to Skippy's pool being com posted by: thbean (3 ) 10:55 am, Fri 30 Sep
http://www.trademe.co.nz/structure/l...archregion=100

Cont: If anyone visits I merely go back in time to prior to Skippy's pool being completed - It is of course the Wellington Harbour which I closed off. Sorry forgot to let everyone now that all ferry sailings have stopped to ensure Skippy's safety. posted by: thbean (3 ) 10:56 am, Fri 30 Sep
Bob saget is no longer the funniest thing on trade me - check the link above... a dolphin for sale.... and I was worried about the SPCA. Thats brilliant.

WANTED: Someone to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. PO BOX 6657 TARANAKI. NEW PLYMOUTH You will get paid when we get back. Must bring own weapons, saftey isnt guarenteed. Ive only done this once before. whos keen? if i win this auction maybe it could be you....... like charlie and the willy wonkaz P posted by: spasticated (176 ) 10:56 am, Fri 30 Sep
time travel is fraught with danger, and not for the inexperienced. I suggest only seasoned/veteran time soliders answer this add. Also this auction is not a personal add for you to advise for travelling companions or single woman who like walks on the beach.

I am a celebrity from "sing like a superstar"...with this machine, can I go back in time to the moment when I signed up, and simply rip up the contract instead ?? posted by: carmm (34 ) 10:58 am, Fri 30 Sep
Is this Nick from shortland st?

can i buy this yesterday? posted by: godzillas-kid (33 ) 10:59 am, Fri 30 Sep
The inner truth says you know the answer already.

I bought the GE Time Travel 2000 two weeks ago. I have just come back from 1.05pm, Tuesday the 4th and “Izzy Dude” from Palmy wins the auction with a bid for $251. Quite a bargain really considering the windfall he’ll have on number 7, race 4 at Alexandra next Saturday. Up until now only he and I knew that. posted by: tumekepinga (12 ) 11:04 am, Fri 30 Sep
"Izzy Dude" sounds like jellymeat i wouldnt beleave a word hes saying put your money on No9 "Big Girls Are Fun"

No, its cocksey....What was I thinking? posted by: scuzzy (70 ) 11:06 am, Fri 30 Sep
I recently saw you in a Hamilton night club dancing, i dont know what you were thinking then either.

[Swoop]

On the off chance....if you travel back(and forward) does this effect the ageing process??...i am a firm believer in reincarnation...and would love to go back to me prev life! I know to avoid the "ageing process", you need to add a multi atomising perplexer advance control device, with a preloaded dysanctym driver to the machine....does this beast have such a device loaded?? posted by: jamiecooper (26 ) 11:12 am, Fri 30 Sep
See the above "Man Breast" reply.

more fm in whangarei wanted to contact and talk tou its all good contact dave posted by: dolphin4 (180 ) 11:15 am, Fri 30 Sep
Are they serious bidders ?

I see the machine has a New Zealand 2-pin power plug on it. Does this mean that travelling is restricted to no further back than the invention electricity? And how would I get on if I wanted to witness an event overseas? Do you supply a travel adaptor? posted by: steve98 (72 ) 11:17 am, Fri 30 Sep
You should be able to pick up a travel adaptor from any DSE store for around $30.00, figure this cost into your final bid amount.

My DeLoren is stuck in 930BC and the time travell unit is knacked. Does the new one come with Road side Assistance???????? posted by: rogem (176 ) 11:17 am, Fri 30 Sep
I am sure you could apply to AA Mutual

Also, is this an 021 or an 027? posted by: steve98 (72 ) 11:19 am, Fri 30 Sep
There is no phone attached to this device you are confusing the phone looking device with the "Flash sequence time modulator dial up".

Hey there. I have an ultimate Corbon Tube, do you know if it will fit Bitronian ultrazector belt? I am currently building a T9 ULTRA PARALLAX ZURG. I was curious to know if you had a proton Xyler? Otherwise, very interested. posted by: vin05 (21 ) 11:21 am, Fri 30 Sep
No it wont fit, unless you machine 1.45 mm off the end. i spent ages trying to fit it. A proton xyler, wow thats pretty flashy, I wish I had one then i could maybe get this puppy up and running. i cant afford the fancy gear, my misssus is always moaning about how much I spend on my silly time travel idea. nag nag nag

Hi. My names John Titor from the year 2036 and I am currently having troubles with my Dual Singularity Kerr field. I need to get back to my own future past time in a hurry and I was wondering what the mass offset distance is on this puppy? Also did it come with flash back arrestors? Are the parts compatible with 2036 designs? What time jump are you from anyway? posted by: hexapod (12 ) 11:34 am, Fri 30 Sep
Hi John im sorry to hear you are currently stuck in 2005... must kinda suck to be you.

does it run on batteries??????? posted by: tacman1 (9 ) 11:43 am, Fri 30 Sep
The machine can be self powered if you can find a source of Uranium 235. Alternatively it can run of mains power supply if you have a very long extension cord

What the hell is a jigowatt? posted by: steve98 (72 ) 11:45 am, Fri 30 Sep
Organically geometric modular rings from outer space

Seriously dude. This thing rocks. I got it from Trude. No idea who she got it from. Great to see the original pages. Very cool. Can't say I miss it though. Whoever never did get the spatial retemporalizer working propery. (My hair wil never be the same.) Now using the Sunlight-IV model. Looking forward to see who the winner is :-) posted by: xtl (0 ) 11:49 am, Fri 30 Sep
Its reassuring to me to know that it all works and i was on the right track. i alot of people thought i was dreamin, and said I was crazy and a dick head. the spatial retemporalizer was added after I sold it so can't help there

Hi, I work for NASA adn we'd be very interested in err meeting with you to discuss the future of this type of machine in the mass market. I promise this won't be a "long shot", it will be a very "up close and peronsa;" err meeting, yes....meeting posted by: vixen79 (165 ) 11:53 am, Fri 30 Sep
Sorry I am only interested in meeting with representatives of CERN or the Warehouse, this device is neither related to aeronautics or space travel.

Hi there. Can you please tell me is this the kind of time machine that is operated by placing between the legs, i am a bit concerned because of what happened to Napoleon and his uncle. there is a parallell here because that one didnt work either... posted by: hello3 (93 ) 12:03 pm, Fri 30 Sep
My original setup was two recliners on either side as long as the dual magnetic swazzi is attached to the membrane any seat will do.

hi What is the time preset come off? On my new sony vcr i have been able to record OK but on my older VCR's I kept stuffing up and i dont want to end up in the wrong century if I use your machine. also does it come with a remote? posted by: davef1 (28 ) 12:05 pm, Fri 30 Sep
i suggest you visit DSE and purchase a universal remote which can then be programmed into the difibulator.

is it boring to time travel coz like u already know whats going to happen you probably already know im going to ask you this so nothing would be a suprise and you would get bored so what do u do? posted by: soliduz (54 ) 12:08 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Why dont you win the auction, make the device work, and find out!

[Swoop]

"...dual magnetic swazzi is attached to the membrane.." -I thought you said once the hymen is broken it cant be repaired posted by: ydnam (139 ) 12:12 pm, Fri 30 Sep
last time i looked my hyman was not connected to my membrane. However if you are some kind of medical doctor?

me again, i started making one at home. Could you please tell me where the eftpos machine plugs into i stole one from the dairy down the road and i cant see in the picture where it goes, behind that box thing somewhere? Thanks - Lloyd Banks posted by: soliduz (54 ) 12:14 pm, Fri 30 Sep
the eftpos machine (or time defiberator) connects to the main component, by just loosely dangling the wire inside the main component. Its vital it dosnt actually connect to anything. I in no way condone the stealing of Electronic Funds transfer point of sale Machines

I'd be interested in swapping my anti-gravity device for the time travel machine. The A-G machine works but it has the darndest nack and will only ever function whilst hanging up side down. Would this be an amicable trade? posted by: stuffin (46 ) 12:15 pm, Fri 30 Sep
In no way would this be and amicable trade, i dont want your broken junk that only works when its upside down... what do you take me for?

It appears the machine has appended to it an IDE hard drive. I would like to know what size this drive is so I can use it in my computer should I fail to satisfactorily get my Heisenberg compensator to work. The manufacturers of the Starship enterprise were successful with the compensator, but unfortunately I have been unsucessful in aquiring the engineering schematics for their design. Therefore depending on the price, and specifications of the drive, It might be a good buy either way. posted by: geoffr (38 ) 12:18 pm, Fri 30 Sep
It has a 6 gig HD for storing time co-ordinates. it is actually way over speced, the starship enterprise only had only a 500MB Hard drive. True... The Hard drive also has some games on so you can play whilst travelling time

Does it have an inbuilt DeJaVue inhibitor to prevent time from looping. Needing to know desperately. Thanx posted by: boardgamer (30 ) 12:21 pm, Fri 30 Sep
No I have always had an ongoing issue with time looping. Frankly its a pain in the arse and one of the things i couldnt solve. A deja vue inhibitator is really hard to find.

Does it have an inbuilt DeJaVue inhibitor to prevent time from looping. Needing to know desperately. Thanx posted by: boardgamer (30 ) 12:21 pm, Fri 30 Sep
No I have always had an ongoing issue with time looping. Frankly its a pain in the arse and one of the things i couldnt solve. A deja vue inhibitator is really hard to find.

Does it have an inbuilt DeJaVue inhibitor to prevent time from looping. Needing to know desperately. Thanx posted by: boardgamer (30 ) 12:21 pm, Fri 30 Sep
No I have always had an ongoing issue with time looping. Frankly its a pain in the arse and one of the things i couldnt solve. A deja vue inhibitator is really hard to find.

Does it have an inbuilt DeJaVue inhibitor to prevent time from looping. Needing to know desperately. Thanx posted by: boardgamer (30 ) 12:21 pm, Fri 30 Sep
No I have always had an ongoing issue with time looping. Frankly its a pain in the arse and one of the things i couldnt solve. A deja vue inhibitator is really hard to find.

Does it have an inbuilt DeJaVue inhibitor to prevent time from looping. Needing to know desperately. Thanx posted by: boardgamer (30 ) 12:21 pm, Fri 30 Sep
No I have always had an ongoing issue with time looping. Frankly its a pain in the arse and one of the things i couldnt solve. A deja vue inhibitator is really hard to find.

I hope you get this Auction up over $200, I can see many late nights have gone into the construction. Also I like your curtains, thats all. It seems like answering these questions could become a full time job, Good luck for the weekend mate! posted by: sheepfaced (46 ) 12:26 pm, Fri 30 Sep
YOur telling me i have had no time whatsoever to work on my "Hyper 1200 Raident" prototype for my daughters birthday.

Will this be able to send me back to the fifties so I can set up my mum with my dad and create rock n roll?? posted by: cart25 (77 ) 12:28 pm, Fri 30 Sep
wouldnt it be more interesting if you got it on with your mum?

Do you push the red button, or the blue button to make it work.......? posted by: fury4 (18 ) 12:30 pm, Fri 30 Sep
The start up combination is red, red blue, blue red blue, blue, blue then red. it is important the buttons are oushed in that sequence. No matter what you do never, never push them together at the same time... ever.

Do you like hedgehogs? posted by: melouise (12 ) 12:31 pm, Fri 30 Sep
they are alright I guess. i will consider swapping, but how many hedgehogs do you have ?

This is the Time Police!! I hope you all realize that any unauthorzed time travel is illegal and this device has not been sanctioned by the Federation of Time Travel Traffic Control established in 2034. Any users CAN and WILL be prosecuted in accordance to laws past following the REAL discovery of time/space violation. All time travellers and passengers MUST seek proper passport by first travelling forward to 2035, sitting your time travel license, then btaining approval from the FTTTC to trave posted by: thadazbaby (21 ) 12:35 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I have an expired time travel license, but as i never got it working have not bothered to renew it. it is up to the winner to atain their own license and also get the machine a WOF.

I had a mate with a time machine. Had loads of trouble with the Johnson Rods and O rings. It kept sending him to Gore in August 1977. Just want to make sure your machine hasn't suffered the same problem. Cheers posted by: rce (0 ) 12:36 pm, Fri 30 Sep
lol you said Johnson... thats rude

I have reviewed the model specs and am beginning to understand the science behind your machine. I am, however, struggling with the 'phone' style mechanism that replaces the more traditional flux capacitor. I understand that in conjunction with a magnetic field and the load, the 'phone' uses the hierarchical structure of the cosmos as a timer! The trilamination of the tiny spheres with selected metals and their subjection to a magnetic field and current (sustained by the load) destabilizes the posted by: james185 (37 ) 12:36 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Sounds like you know what your talking about.. maybe we could hook up some time over a beer? Why is everyone always going on about the flux its so 80's, Time travel is a modern mans game.

Does this machine have a piecost? posted by: rbhg2 (10 ) 12:37 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Everything has a piecost. Everything.......

Dude....where's my CaR? posted by: katturn (133 ) 12:44 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Dude.. who cares? you parked it, maybe take a snapshot with a mobil phone next time you park it so you can find it again?

Does this machine require a FULL drivers licence or can I get away with a rstricted licence as long as dont travel after 10:30pm at night? posted by: river11 (11 ) 12:57 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I only have my learners.

You mentioned from an earlier question that it would need Uranium 235 for energy source. Would that violate NZ law being Nuclear Free? Being the case this machine is illegal to use in NZ, will Australia allow it so? posted by: arlevien (137 ) 12:58 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Smoke detectors are legal so why should a time machine not be? Maybe you should consult your lawyer if you plan to use a radioactive power source.

[Swoop]

can i have some of that somoke your smoking? posted by: metsc (31 ) 1:00 pm, Fri 30 Sep
See above reply regarding DSE smoke machines..

Would you consider a swap for a Particle Accerated Rail Gun? posted by: born_on_xmas (99 ) 1:02 pm, Fri 30 Sep
What condition is it? How big are these particles?

Hey did you watch Coronation Street last night? Ken Barlow had one of these things! posted by: cookie2005 (11 ) 1:02 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Isnt he dead yet?

If Allen please advise - same coordinates as previously organised. This is not a joke. posted by: k1500 (28 ) 1:03 pm, Fri 30 Sep
No im not Allen, and this is not a joke.

I like pies posted by: steve98 (72 ) 1:04 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Is this a qustion or a statement? if its a qustions it depends on whats in em... mince, mince and cheese and also bacon and egg for special occasions.

I have been sent back to warn you!!!!!STOP messing with something that will not be invented for another 10 Fugsmar = in earth time 10,000 years. As a Time Traveller & Diatractnon I must say you are so close to getting it right. What you need to complete this mark 1 A / time transfere machine is Sratzjoingmerk DiFluzzing Crutxnoll with a 100 D boinker & now most IMPORTANT PIECE you you MUST get a . I hope this helps & if it doesn't take three or four twice a day & it will all go posted by: wampro (203 ) 1:13 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I have never heard of a Boinker? is this a typo as i know of a 100 D Bionker.

would you swap for 2005 subaru wrx STI version 9, full body kit, sq blowoff valve, front mount intercooler, 19" chromes, pillar gauges, 290kw at the wheels, 11.29sec at meremere, WOF & rego! posted by: metsc (31 ) 1:13 pm, Fri 30 Sep
What colour?

what ever you are taking that made you list this auction..........whre do you get it and can i get some ??????? posted by: lara3 (1777 ) 1:16 pm, Fri 30 Sep
You can get it in the future, bid ont the machine and i will include the co-ordianates to get the "stuff"

can you kick start this machine or is it auto? posted by: metsc (31 ) 1:17 pm, Fri 30 Sep
The start triger is incomplete see above post regarding Remotes... may be an option.

Hey there do you have it in red ur machine is not very friendly to the eyes posted by: toper (44 ) 1:19 pm, Fri 30 Sep
If you win the bid ill pop in some red spray paint.

Hi there. 2 questions: 1) I bid $29.99 as DSE are selling a mass produced version of this item for only $34.99. Now WHY would I pay you more than $29.99 for what is clearly a HOME-MADE time machine that doesn't even work! I might end up stuck in the 80's!!! And we all know THAT would suck. I've already been stuck there for nearly 10 years of my life, and I don't want to repeat. B) Previous Q about how Eddies in the S.T.C. (space-time continueum)... Has anyone heard how he's getting on? How di posted by: samgabriel (55 ) 1:20 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Dick Smith time machines are crap. The warehouse is also selling them, as is the 2 dollar shop. You get what you pay for. i think of this as more a custom time machine than home made. but hey no ones making you bid.

was the purpose you built this machine to go back and chage the night you caught your wife having anal with your father posted by: metsc (31 ) 1:22 pm, Fri 30 Sep
No, no it wasnt.

Have you seen this boy? http://www.lysator.liu.se/~hakgu/t2pics/john01.gif posted by: sharlenl (234 ) 1:22 pm, Fri 30 Sep
He looks familiar, ithink I saw him in a movie once

A Boinker is an anti gravity device that has not been invented yet I believe a Drunken Scottish sailor finds it when he falls into a pit, just outside Cairo it was left there by a time traveler as a spare just in case he needed it 30.03 north x posted by: wampro (203 ) 1:25 pm, Fri 30 Sep
got ya

I have a mate called "Mighty Quinn" who apparently passed on (god rest his soul) 2 years ago from heart failure, I took him to a strip bar and the poor sod passed on. What chances do I have of going back to that particular night so I can put hiw to rest properly as he has been visiting me at night. posted by: caznac (66 ) 1:25 pm, Fri 30 Sep
thats how i wanna go..... A heart attack ina strip bar

is there a drinks holder on this? i dont wanna spill coffee on my lap while navigating posted by: lizp79 (298 ) 1:26 pm, Fri 30 Sep
You could probibly place it on the top of the Machine, however it does shake a little when going so no hot drinks.

ooops forgot to complete mission: 31.15 north posted by: wampro (203 ) 1:26 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Well taht makes a big difference.

have you got a hiblewobby transformer for your super transquadrahedric triangle modifier spec 2.5 quadraped ? and if so ill trade for a space probing monkey. posted by: makka_man (24 ) 1:27 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I havent got one, but I would seriously love a monkey, especially a space probing one. maybe we can do some sort of a deal ?

Hey there. i love the design but do you have this in pink as the colour shown wouldnt match my hair. posted by: savage01 (223 ) 1:27 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Maybe you should consider changing the colour of your hair to match that of the time machine?

I have an Anti Gravity machine -> http://imagiware.com/brian/Corrinne/...ne-swing-1.jpg wanna swap? posted by: arlevien (137 ) 1:28 pm, Fri 30 Sep
hmmm nice machine, how does it work. It seems awfully complicated. Who is the midget driving it?

I'm trying to decide between your time machine and a Big Mac. Which do you think is best? posted by: steve98 (72 ) 1:29 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Id go for the Big mac, unless you have a genuine interest in time travel ?

ZOLTARRRR posted by: unclelisa1 (11 ) 1:38 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Sorry, no bubble-wrap suit is included.

[Swoop]

Does the T/M have any Security measures/systems and what are they posted by: blink182_tkom (71 ) 1:39 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I used to keep it stored in the garage and then lock the garage at night time, when I went away on holiday i would sometimes put a bicycle lock around it for extra security. Unfortunutly my garage or bike lock are not supplied with the device. I hope this answers your question.

tniz i&&& mezzage from t2o future. warning tniz device iz un_ztable. will cnop of topz of tne letter n and may cauze peo .. mpotent I muzt ztop tnis auction immedi&&ly.you nave been warne&& aarrggnnn posted by: boardgamer (30 ) 1:42 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Is this some kind of hip txt speak?

Hi, thought I'd let all watchers know that I'm auctioning this auction. http://www.trademe.co.nz/structure/a...sp?id=36963423 posted by: thbean (3 ) 1:43 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Look this is getting ridiculous. How can you auction the auction. i feel compelled to buy my auction back.

Hahahah good laugh.. posted by: gissyb1 (3110 ) 1:44 pm, Fri 30 Sep
i prefer MUAHAHAHA

I cant see where the time is displayed on this device ? posted by: bignoselouie (76 ) 1:44 pm, Fri 30 Sep
What do you think this is? A clock?

Can you give me a rough idea of the size of time sphere? I have a rather large build; I'm afraid my head or feet might stick out, with the inevitable results. Also did you include a spatial compensator? Nothing worse than moving through time only to discover the Earth's elsewhere in orbit. posted by: kenyarb (16 ) 2:01 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Try sitting when in use, that way height shall not be a problem.

Do the mice know about this thing? Or the dolphins? posted by: garbutt (36 ) 2:02 pm, Fri 30 Sep
The dolphin is in the know, and I would appreciate it if we could keep the mice out of it for now

If we are ever able to develop a workable theory for time travel, we would open up the ability to create very complicated problems called paradoxes. A paradox is defined as something that contradicts itself. Here are two common examples: Let's say, for the sake of argument, that you could travel back to a time before you were born. The mere fact that you could exist in a time before you were born creates a paradox. If you were born in 1960, how could you exist in 1955? Possibly the most f posted by: marisat (210 ) 2:08 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Could you be more borring?

Do you happen to have a quantity of Uranium 235, which powers the amazing device on hand? My mate Uday was after some as a present for his old man, reckons it will come in handy in powering is anal probing devices. posted by: gwn (275 ) 2:12 pm, Fri 30 Sep
No it is remarkably hard to source in NZ. Some guy was selling some on trade me the other day, but the bidding got ridiculous

Serious question: does the plantronics headset and adapter work? posted by: criggie (259 ) 2:12 pm, Fri 30 Sep
serious answer: I dont know

This will really help with some plans I have. I'll need an accomplice who has some duck tape, jumper leads, earplugs and can speak fluent American. That way we'll be able to get into TVNZ without being noticed and stop whoever it was the thought of "Sing like a Superstar". I also need a Bull Terrier that goes crazy at the sound of Teletubbies, a credit card with the name John Banks on it, and a leather gimp outfit. Last but not least. Does anyone have 7 of 9's address before she got famou posted by: brynn (116 ) 2:17 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Any takers ?

I really see the potential, but am concerned about the hours that may be required to completely finish the project. Also the colour of the start sequence buttons is a problem for me. Instead of "The start up combination is red, red blue, blue red blue, blue, blue then red" is this possible to be green, green gold, gold green gold, gold, gold, then black? My time travel outfit is black, gold and green and the red/blue buttons wouldn't match.... posted by: autumnwinds (1138 ) 2:17 pm, Fri 30 Sep
In the future 90% of all humans are colour blind so colour becomes somewhat irrelevant. Every good time traveller needs a tight fitting lycra jump suit to travel time in style

I don't have an a'nti-gravity' machine, but I do have an 'anti-gravy' machine, it dries up your sunday roast should someone force watery gravy on you, it's really useful, would you swap it for this? posted by: richardrayner (22 ) 2:29 pm, Fri 30 Sep
An anti gravy machine i could use. that sounds really really useful.

Bugger. Can you remove that $3000 bid by Time Machine1. I really do want to buy this stuff. I reckon this is art. Also, 7 of 9 is really hot and this is my only chance to meet her. Paul Swain said he had a gimp outfit but I said I didn't want to wear anything used. posted by: brynn (116 ) 2:29 pm, Fri 30 Sep
If you won the auction you could just go back in time and not bid $3000

Is there any warranty with the time machine? If Yes, then how many years? Can I get refund if it doesn't work? Is it authentic? posted by: fungming (33 ) 2:29 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I apologise for some of the "idiotic" questions. Yes this is a real auction. No refund if it dosnt work as it is unfinished, i can't crack it. But i am straight up.

will using this device eliminate the need for toiletries, as i can keep returning to my freshly make up applied self, or will i need a 'perpetually-made-up modem' and if so, can this create an unwanted momentary lapse of reason?? i wouldnt want to get caught out posted by: lyssa2 (205 ) 2:30 pm, Fri 30 Sep
In a funny paradox, the time machine actually increases the need for toiletries. I dobnt know how or why, but my Mascara useage went up 10 fold once i started on the machine - Weird

Sorry, I had it all wrong from the start, thought it is a stolen modern wire and cable sculpture from Te Papa, would like to bit, does it has amanual. posted by: boer (1425 ) 2:30 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Wonder if i could display this in Te Papa?

Hi. Are you sure you're not secretly a DSE employee?... or perhaps the Big Cheese, Dick, himself?... and just made this listing up so you could push DSE products? posted by: nzed4 (3 ) 2:34 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Nah straight up, I have been applying on and off for the last two years to get a job at DSE, but apparently I am not qualified enough. Dick is kinda a hero to me, (after Bob Saget) and i do weant to follow in his footsteps, and sell crap electronic gear for crazy prices

Is this the stratiscloric time machine that is capable of sending bald goats to the future posted by: oldbaldgoat (123 ) 2:43 pm, Fri 30 Sep
win the auction, get it working, try it. I'm sure it would be able to if you can get the goat to sit still.

Seller Comment: How is everyone finding out about this auction ?? 2:54 pm, Fri 30 Sep

I think that you'll find that a black leather gimp suit is better for time travel because of durability. This is particularly important for withstanding laborious stop-motion sequences of plants growing around your house and sedimentary soil building up around you before you reach the time period with cute dumb blonds walking around in togas. posted by: brynn (116 ) 2:57 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I dont Lycra hel[ps with wind resistance, and makes my butt look smaller

stefan chapman who does the 2 til 7 segment on morefm in wgtn found your auction (or someone showed it to him) and he put the link on his page and told EVERYONE IN WELLINGTON!!! go for it - doc would be proud. posted by: scrappysue (524 ) 2:57 pm, Fri 30 Sep
http://wellington.morefm.co.nz/Default.aspx?tabid=406

It's in the 2034 world encyclopedia as 'world's largest use of time on a Friday afternoon at work' posted by: richardrayner (22 ) 2:59 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I have been busy answering all these questions while at work, good way to spend a friday

I was sent the link by a friend and then I mailed it to heaps of other frineds. posted by: brynn (116 ) 2:59 pm, Fri 30 Sep
hope they are serious bidders.

E-mail..... posted by: peanut74 (1 ) 3:00 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Would that be Electronic Mail your talking about?

Further to my previous question...the trilamination of the tiny spheres with selected metals and their subjection to a magnetic field and current (sustained by the load) destabilizes the orderliness of the proton, the heavier atom and the 'tissue' of individual layers of metal. The matter then seeks to re-establish itself in the 'fractal set'. The trilamination inserts a 'curve' where there ought to be none, between the atomic structure and the next higher context of presence which is normally posted by: james185 (37 ) 3:00 pm, Fri 30 Sep
yip

How did I find out about it??? There was an article about it on tomorrows news at 6. Be warned, Paul Holmes intends to interview you soon as well and the Labour party is about to introduce a new time tax based on how long it takes you to travel thru 1 hour. I'm lucky that it will be cheap for me as an an amateur traveller it still takes me 60 minutes and so I only have to pay the base rate plus GST. posted by: golf.geek.nz (47 ) 3:01 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I don't know why the labour party is so damn anti time travel. I hardly think an interview on prime is going to "promote" the auction - look what it did for paul Holmes career

The answer to your question re: How is everybody finding out about your auction? Has to do with the time looping phenomenom stated earlier, an email was sent approximately 3 hours ago to one person and the time continuum is looping with different forwarded email addresses withthe URL Link to this auction. This was a result of the future purchaser going back in time to 3 hours ago and promoting the auction to make himself famous, what a big head eh? posted by: brettsky1 (72 ) 3:01 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Strangely enough that makes perfect sense. thanks

[Swoop]

...is normally occupied by living things, beneath the solar niche and within the biospheric niche in a five to eleven dimensional collapsible schema of the universe. My question - why the phone? posted by: james185 (37 ) 3:01 pm, Fri 30 Sep
My Answer.. What phone?

can i get some fries with this if i win it? posted by: reyhani (4 ) 3:02 pm, Fri 30 Sep
If you come and eat them at McDonalds with me.

Do you have a time code booklet also? In particular I can't remember the Novikov Self-Consistency Principle and whether I need to indicate on a time vortex on-ramp. posted by: oscil8 (1 ) 3:03 pm, Fri 30 Sep
the rules of time travel are complicated, but easilly found on the internet

in regards to how people are finding out - More FM posted by: stienie (80 ) 3:05 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I should probibly stop listening to Sport Radio then?

At the moments its been forwarded around by email...Good marketing... posted by: newscam (23 ) 3:07 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Only if i get a high bid

Hi there, would you be interested in a philosophers stone? I am selling one. Here is the link if you are interested: http://www.trademe.co.nz/Electronics...n-36966413.htm cheers posted by: mr_biggs (26 ) 3:07 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Bit exspensive isnt it?

Oh my goodness, this is great! I love Timespace Portals. Hey maybe we should have a Timespace party! Im planning to leave with my wife and 7 children to back to when the MoriOries were around. I havnt worked out the time/date but it should be Cool-tastic! Wish me luck fellow geeks! Keep up your TIMEPORTAL/TIMEMACHINE building..! posted by: vin05 (21 ) 3:12 pm, Fri 30 Sep
thanks, you have a very healthy attitude toward time travel.

can i sleep with your sister?? posted by: saffa (28 ) 3:17 pm, Fri 30 Sep
umm I would have to check with her, b ut my guess would be no. Still no harm in asking, she is probably gonna want to see some pictures

I think I have identified one of the problems you may be having. The formula you describe earlier does not take into account Boussinesq's theory of triple intergration. Try using dt/dx = (1-v2/c2)/2. By combining this with Einsteins E=mc2, we find that dt/dx = (1-E.v2/m)/2. Research by E. Brown in 1986(Ph.D) gives a close approximation for v in these circumstances to be 88 mph, or 39.11 m/s. An estimate of mass (m) allowing for an adequate quantity of uranium would be 765 kg, so we now have dt/ posted by: phantomchickenz (21 ) 3:18 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Everyone whos anyone knows that Boussinesqs was a no good drunk with crazy ideas.

Blimey - when I asked my last question at 2.17 there wre approx 17,000 hits - an hour later (now) it's over 22,000!!! Don't you wish your machine was working and you could just travel to when the auction had been completed? posted by: autumnwinds (1138 ) 3:18 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I am gettin sick of all these questions. i do worry that people are not taking this seriously. i put a lot of heart into that machine, and I dotn just want to sell it to some goof as a novelty

we noticed a sizeable disruption on the 1st of april this year and its taken us this long to locate you and your machine,the damage caused was immense but your efforts unwittingly triggered a bio-shperoid that randomly eradicated one of mankinds next largest threat of extinction,congradulations,but don't attempt again please,there's so much at stake! posted by: moritz (36 ) 3:18 pm, Fri 30 Sep
How could this be more damaging than 36 killer dolphins with poison dart guns?

... so we now have dt/dx = (1-2E)/2 = 1/2 - E. It is currently Friday afternoon so energy levels (E) are tending to zero, so lim(E->0) dt/dx = 1/2. It is now simple intergration to get to t = x/2, rearranging to x = 2t. Now, simply decide how far (in seconds) you wish to travel, multiply by two, and enter into the distance field in the 2000 x 2000 travel matrix (which I'm sure you already have). Bob's your uncle, your travelling forward in time. NOTE: Many people have indicated they wish to tra posted by: phantomchickenz (21 ) 3:19 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Huh ?

... NOTE: Many people have indicated they wish to travel backward in time. A laymans description of why this is impossible is given on www.howstuffworks.com, but basically wormhole theory dictates that your stiff out of luck. Happy travelling! posted by: phantomchickenz (21 ) 3:19 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Yip cause the internet is always right. I have read lots of stuff on the www which simply is not true. Just look up "moon landing". The internet is full of cranks and hoax sites dispelling people on their desire to travel time

Does it come in other colours?. Hoping so as this one will not match my all pink decor! posted by: kidzone (633 ) 3:21 pm, Fri 30 Sep
No it is an one of prototype. I never got to the mass production stage, basically because i couldnt get this one to work.

Seller Comment:
Seein as how this is getting so much publicity . My mate Andrew is looking for a girl. 19-25 obviously must single, enjoy outdoor activities and have a sense of humour Any offers with pictures can be emailed via my other advertisement. 3:26 pm, Fri 30 Sep

l33t hAxX0r$ CrE4t3 u8er- k3wL 5tUff lIkE n34t g4dg3ts!! t3lEphR4gG1nG l4m3rs wit mY m8tes r34lLy k1kK$ A$$!! posted by: arlevien (137 ) 3:27 pm, Fri 30 Sep
hey if you win thwe auction i will chuck in a free keyboard. I think something is wrong with yours

I have always wanted a time machine. i have always thought it would be cool to take a coke can back to the Jurrasic period, find a dynosaur and shove it down its throat just to piss off geologists 250million years later - or go give myself a copy of windows xp and a computer to run it on 25 years ago! posted by: mr_fisk_it (49 ) 3:27 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Yeah, it sounds like a cool idea, and would really confuse the bejusus out the whitecoats. I like it. if you win i will give you a 10 % discount on the winning bid

Hi my name is Gill Bates. I was wanting to go back in time so i can laugh at the people that said i would never steal the one thing that would make me able to pay people to think im cool and said that i would never make it with a black box. Will you take A Quadrillion Tribillion Billion & 2 as a buy now price? I am a serious buyer. posted by: aacountry (45 ) 3:28 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I question the seriousness of this question. Some people are just taking this as a big freakin joke. if you are serious abou the money, i will take your offer

[Swoop]

I live in Hamilton too. If I want to go back in time I go to Te Awamutu. posted by: buster. (36 ) 3:29 pm, Fri 30 Sep
And if you go into the future you go to Auckland ?

Will you trade for my girlfriend?, she does tricks :-) posted by: bungholio (11 ) 3:31 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Got any pictures, and more to the point what kind of tricks does she do ?

Hey I was wondering if this machine supports dilithium crystal phasers? posted by: chips19 (0 ) 3:33 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I heard those things were being phased out

do you have any pics of your mate andrew? only I have a friend, who knows someone, who is looking for a penpal - does he have a problem with 200kg convicted rapists at all? posted by: loritruck (42 ) 3:35 pm, Fri 30 Sep
its getting a bit off topic, Andrew is abit shy but he is open to anything and not fussy when it comes to his woman.

ill the machine allow me to go back in time into my mother's uterus and change my genetic make up for a better performance? I mean... few inches longer?? posted by: robbie_in_nz (29 ) 3:39 pm, Fri 30 Sep
This is just filth

You are a genius. I want your babies. posted by: sez66 (157 ) 3:41 pm, Fri 30 Sep
that can be arranged im sure.

Does my push up bra count as an anti-gravity machine? posted by: princess223 (184 ) 3:43 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Yes it does, I will definately swap. What size ? What are the physics behind it, how does it work ?

hey to mrshin who said he won the auction and came back in time and told the powerball number. 19 is not a powerball number duh posted by: hippie666 (114 ) 3:50 pm, Fri 30 Sep
FYI

labour party? wouldn't be a good idea to get back on time and change Helen Clark's genetic make up to something more friendly?? posted by: robbie_in_nz (29 ) 3:50 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I dont know i find her strangely atractive in some ways...

Hey - can I be the 41st unanswered question on your auction? Pleeeeease... posted by: jeffreyweir (49 ) 3:54 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Turns out you were the 40th - Ha

Does Chewbacca come with this? I've gotta light saber so I will be safe in any intergalactic battles with my uber jedi skills. Obi Wan Kenobi used to own this machine, I'm sure of it. It's actually R2-D2's cousin, twice removed. posted by: joeskie (62 ) 4:03 pm, Fri 30 Sep
My mate Andre hasa hairy back, and i could probably include a picture if you won, but thats as close as you are gonna get to Chewbacca

What are you wearing? posted by: afr (33 ) 4:05 pm, Fri 30 Sep
um I don't feel comfortable answering this type of question.

I'm a newbie to time travel. As I understand it, time is a spiral and space is a curve. If I purchased your time machine, I'm worried I'd just end up going around in circles. Does it include any navigational aids - a time/space map?? posted by: sugarloop (147 ) 4:05 pm, Fri 30 Sep
i understand your concern. Time travel can be scary for beginners. Unfortunately you're on your own, with your whack theories about space and time

how many gadgets can be used? is compatible with the model below? http://www.trademe.co.nz/structure/a...sp?id=36973310 posted by: robbie_in_nz (29 ) 4:07 pm, Fri 30 Sep
http://www.trademe.co.nz/structure/a...sp?id=36973310 It clearly states it is compatable with any time machine. I dont know how they can make that guarantee, given the propritary type of interface i was using. Still would be a handy add on to have

When traveling in time, how would you ensure that you keep pace with the world? It is after all making its way through space at a fair lick, spining to boot. Perhaps thats why the extention cord wasn't long enough and maybe one of those cool power cords on a drum that unwinds itself would be the answer, or just traveling in leaps of 365 and a quarter days. posted by: simonphelon (145 ) 4:15 pm, Fri 30 Sep
For any future owner to consider

You may not remember me, but I met you next month and gave you the details to fix the issues you're having with your time machine.. why are you still selling it? posted by: famanoran (10 ) 4:18 pm, Fri 30 Sep
obviously only my future self would know or remember you. or know how to fix the issues. if I dont try to sell It i never meet you ?

Does your time machine cover up any traces of hyper space speed camera's out in space? posted by: robbie_in_nz (29 ) 4:31 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I have searched the www far and wide and ahve found there is NO such thing.

Did you know who killed JFK? posted by: johnji (8 ) 4:32 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Yip, do you ?

Did you know who killed JFK? posted by: johnji (8 ) 4:32 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Do you know who asked their question twice ?

[Swoop]

Hi. Would you consider a trade for Sam Mumba? Or would you prefer Mr Pearce instead? Mr Wells thinks either way its a fair trade. posted by: sannz (71 ) 4:34 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I have no idea whatsoever waht you are on about, this is a auction for a Time Machine not wife swapping.

Will your machine fix the problem I'm having with my current time machine, where my future self posts questions before my current self is aware I have asked them? posted by: johnji (8 ) 4:37 pm, Fri 30 Sep
No

I recently Purchased the Dolphin that was for sale on trademe and was curious if your Time Travel Machine can transport mammals of this size ? or i can offer you a 50% share in the the following business oportunity: convert the time machine you have for sale into a dolphin canning machine that can send Canned dolphin meat into the future....as i am sure that they will be extinct shortly geniune 50% business offer let me know posted by: importedgear (154 ) 4:37 pm, Fri 30 Sep
The 36 dolphins armed with toxic dart guns are coming for their revenge. I wouldnt go swimming if I were you.

Does it have an inbuilt DeJaVue inhibitor to prevent time from looping. Needing to know desperately. Thanx posted by: boardgamer (30 ) 4:39 pm, Fri 30 Sep
havent I answered this question before ?

Hi, with regards to the time travel.. How much would the depature tax be if I wanted to go back in time and witness the birth of Jesus? With the oil prices going up in the world, prices just seem to rise higher and higher! And as there is no BP, Mobil,Caltex etc in Bethlehem in the year 0000, I take it the depature tax would be too steep to get back to the present?? Cheers The Pope posted by: ajmarsters (53 ) 4:41 pm, Fri 30 Sep
What witht he price of oil if you do win this auction and go back to when Jesus was born id take a very big shovel and a canteen.

This device could be the end of us all. The paradoxes (paradoxi?) that would result from anyone departing their alloted place in space and time could potentially destroy the multiverse itself or at least render it uninhabitable. That said its quite cool and would pull the chicks. posted by: simonphelon (145 ) 4:43 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Yes Paradoxi would be the correct term. as to the rest of your question i have not bothered to read it.

I have a friend who has done a fair bit of time travel recently. He made the mistake of looking up his grandparents and in a freak accident has become his on Grandfather. Any advice on how to fix this? posted by: carrally1 (11 ) 4:44 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Dont have sexual relations with your parents.

hey does this thing come with an instuction manual? i mean...theres a lot of buttons...and i wouldnt want to screw up...also the last car i got, the instuction manual came in chinese...do you have an instruction manual for my car? posted by: brokenlegg (67 ) 4:44 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Im half way through writing the manual, unfortunetly i have been writing it in chinese so it will be of no help to you.

Does this time machine come with a rather gay mysterious heart that can be used to prop up a weak plot from which there is no possible escape scenario? With Daleks? posted by: simonphelon (145 ) 4:55 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Now your being silly. How can a heart be happy?

Can I use this to go back in time 10 yrs to get my I lost my viginity back? posted by: braveheart (390 ) 4:57 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Please scroll up and read ALL POSTS this has already been covered.

The 36 dolphins have already been captured....in my swimming pool and will be shorlty put up for sale on trademe as i have no space to transport them in the Time travel machine......cat food could be a good option too...i told you the dolphin business is gonna be HUGE...so Final offer of 35% as i have now realised the true business potential..get back ASAP as i have lots of offers posted by: importedgear (154 ) 5:01 pm, Fri 30 Sep
its not the dolphins you have to worry about anymore, the mice are in the loop. I wouldnt go to bed tonight if I were you...

I notice that some others (http://www.trademe.co.nz/structure/a...sp?id=36973310 and http://www.trademe.co.nz/Electronics...n-36971201.htm) seem to be offering similar or adjunct products. Can you please specify how we can confirm that yours is the genuine article (and one that Gordon Elliott would be happy to say so). Thanks posted by: hamath (20 ) 5:02 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Two words.... copycat dirtyrat

I've got an old welding helmet, will the built in eye protection help me if I accidentally look into the time/space vortex? Also, I have a thing about rompers... but mine tend to ride up a little when mowing the lawn - any suggestions? posted by: whozyadaddy (19 ) 5:05 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I have a custom made jock strap taht seems to solve any ride up issues.

hello? just because it's 5pm, you shouldn't stop answering questions! remember that if you're able to time travel with this puppy you could always ask the buyer to bring you back to friday 5pm so you can have the beers after work AS WELL AS keep on giving us the answers so we can decide how much to bid! I have opened my friday beer hoping I can get more info tonight before I start seriously bidding come tuesday. posted by: maria1000 (57 ) 5:06 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I'm hopeing there are more people like you just hanging around waiting to get down to the real bidding... My Daughters operation is not going to pay for itself.

Beware of morlocks. They are killers. posted by: cart25 (77 ) 5:12 pm, Fri 30 Sep
This is news to nobody.

hi, i'm selling Gary the gay dead gnome on trade me, any chance of free advertising on your sale? you have 30 thousand views so far, not bad, good luck, dave posted by: dcearl (190 ) 5:16 pm, Fri 30 Sep
28000 of those views are my mum. and no free advertising.

Hi, id like to know where you got all those incredible materials..did you dig those ULTRON CRYSTALS up? They are very rare. Would you like to sell them on there own? How many buttons does this mechanism have? One fact, did you know that exact Timemachine was used in the Startrek Badies Ship. It was used for a highvelocity ultro turbo teleportation device. I have noticed that you have added alot of fancy extras to it since the Startrek owners...am i correct? posted by: vin05 (21 ) 5:21 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Star Trek is for geeks.

If the mice are now in the loop, things have got VERY serious. Personally I think you should try very hard over the weekend to get the thing going and either send all the mice FAR away, or get yourself as far as you can out of their influence. If you stuff up their grand experiment they will not be pleased. posted by: garbutt (36 ) 5:54 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I think its the beady little eyes that freak me out so much... There are also rumours they are the finacial backing behind Winnie Peters election campaign.

Can you transport more than one person at a time, and if not, can the machine be sent back to pick up my partner. Is the time synchronisation accurate, so we "arrive" together, I would hate for one of us to come early. posted by: akataka (37 ) 6:06 pm, Fri 30 Sep
There are connections for up to two to travel simutanously, more could be added as there are an extra 3 hard wired electronic nimdo rods on the back. (not in the picture)

Answer this one. If I go back to the time of when it was just Adam and Eve, and kill them both, does that mean this auction or conversation will never take place?? posted by: timid_ (103 ) 6:06 pm, Fri 30 Sep
This would neither be clever nor smart... i think you just want to see Eve in the nude.

COMMENT: Labour will find a way to tax this posted by: todagt (94 ) 6:06 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Yeah if they dont shut down Trade Me first.

[Swoop]

I know a good tax haven for your cash & it is in the future, send me your booty & I will deposit it when I next time Travel & you can pick it up ten years in the future at 40% percent per annum compound, NICE Eh? posted by: wampro (203 ) 6:16 pm, Fri 30 Sep
What is your bank acount number sounds like just what i need.

what if you wanted to travel to the future but where the time machine in future time is 100's of metres underground? does it have a fribulater equlator so that when u time travel you wont get stuck in any objects? posted by: pandoras-reaper (0 ) 6:16 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Yes but its currently untested.

like DOC BROWN did you recieve a `bump on the on the head` to get the inspiration to build this??? posted by: mr_e.nygma (71 ) 6:20 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Whos Doc Brown? does he work at the Waikato Uni?

Just got in touch with Rakon here in Akl which manufactures GPS crystals. They rakon you'll need one of their oscillating gryration GPS crystals to make it work. An alternatiev is to get one of those Navman GPS direction finders. Hope this is useful info to the winner. posted by: nzebiz (166 ) 6:21 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Im sure the winner will find this very helpful any website?

I am an Expert at Time travel you may know me as lloyd banks the scientist (very well known) im from the TOP SECRET lab of G.U.N.I.T. now im sorry but time traven is a dangerous thing and you dont have a permit, we are going to have to confiscate that illeagal, sorry excuse for a time mechine. posted by: pandoras-reaper (0 ) 6:27 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Arnt you the half arsed organisation that tried to ban the testing done on Fielddays Employees?

I see some people have gone forward in time , copied all my joke questions and posted them as there own before I could ask them. Can you remove questions plagiarised from my future questions. posted by: steverb (450 ) 6:28 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Sure if you would like to retype all the ones in question that should be removed it should be no problem, i have nothing better to do on a Friday Night.

Would you consider renting it to me for the weekend? If I can get it going I'd like to take it to last year's Melbourne Cup. My girlfriend would like to come too, can it take two people? posted by: savuka (59 ) 6:28 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Your Girlfriend sounds like a real goer, whats her A/S/L

Do you have the flux capacitor to go with this? I can't see it in the photo.. Does this run on mains? What's the reserve? What will postage be to Palmerston North? hey whats happened, people are using time machines to copy my questions posted by: steverb (450 ) 6:30 pm, Fri 30 Sep
More to the point why is nobody bidding?

does this model come with a built-in printer? for recording future references for past times? and would i need special ink? posted by: lyssa2 (205 ) 6:48 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Ink from the future and past is the same as present day ink. Best not to record things from the future people will think your wacky...

I smell sausages..... posted by: chris241 (108 ) 6:48 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Pork or Beef?

Hi there are no banks in the future how it works is: We give all our sheckles to the Politicians & they in turn spend it on silly projects like seperate Schooling for people in differant universes & we sue them for more than we gave them in the first place 7 usualy win. Oh there are no lawyers either. posted by: wampro (203 ) 6:50 pm, Fri 30 Sep
No laywers? thats crazy how does anything ever get done?

Hi - just been analysing the picture of your machine before dinner and I am wondering if you should stick with it. Your big problem seems to be that there is little or no Mac componentry involved - making the machine quite unevolved. Word on the street is that Steve Jobs is just adding the finishing touches to what the pundits are calling iTravel... I'd sit on it for another 3 months - try and get some time and a half at work and save some coin. Just a thought - good luck either way. posted by: shardul_nz (57 ) 6:52 pm, Fri 30 Sep
What did you have for dinner?

This auction is illegal and should be taken down like the dolphin auction was - see s.8 Time Act 1974 http://www.legislation.govt.nz/brows...t=pal_statutes ..it is an offence for unlicenced persons to sell, trade, give away or otherwise dispose of, or attempt to sell etc any device which will facilitate, or is purported to facilitate travel in time. posted by: angophora (29 ) 7:02 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Yeah true shame about the dolphins, if there was one race we shouldnt be pissing off its the dolphins and the mice.

So it's true then...$131 is the office pettycash limit for Govt employees with nothing better to do than read TM on Fri afternoons. posted by: steveb5 (133 ) 7:10 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I dont accept eftposs (machine is currently out of order)or petty cash i hope they can do direct debit.

I have an anti-grav machine I would swap, but its missing its discombulator CX-421. Without it, it often works in reverse multiplying gravity by up to 1000X, it has killed a few people. Since the discombulator CX-421 is only built by the Zorax of planet Iconon-9, which as you know was recently destroyed by Rii Clan - they're pretty rare. Also, whats the shipping to Alpha Centauri? posted by: pulse (106 ) 7:11 pm, Fri 30 Sep
$5 shipping same for everywhere. I dont know alot about the CX-421 does it come in blue?

Is the eftpos machine still compatible. my dairies is broken? posted by: courier (42 ) 7:15 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Send it to me maybe i can fix it for them?