Share your txt jokes

[ynot slow]

Just been sent a text as follows.

Just dropped a girl home this morning,she was a gorgeous Pakistany chick,after screwing her I scratched her red dot and won a commodore.

[Smokin]

Woman are like parking spaces, sometimes all the good one's are taken so when no one's looking you have to stick it in a disabled one.

[Drew]

All mine are rascist in nature, cos just one fella sends me jokes and he's of the darker skin toned variety.

Let me know if people will be offended before I post them.

[Smokin]

There are 3 dolls in a mans life.
His daughter... Babydoll
His Mistress ... Barbiedoll
and his Wife... Panadol

[Smokin]

Why can't a man ever please a woman?

Because no man has a dick made of chocolate which ejaculates money!!

[MyGSXF:Me]

It was the best day of my life.. arrived at church.. husband waiting at the alter.. walked up the isle.. kissed him on the cheek.. smiled.. and CLOSED THE FUCKING LID!!!!!!!!!

[MyGSXF:Me]

Happy Birthday.. I was gonna send u somethin HOT, HORNY and SEXY AS HELL!!!! but da postman told me to take the stamps off my arse & get the fuck OUT OF THE POSTBOX!!!!!!!!!!

[MyGSXF:Me]

A reasent studdi haz chown thet peapel hoo aar fukinn amezin in bed.. r krap ad spalling

[Smokin]

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such fast shutter speed they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

[Smokin]

I was thinking about you the other day, I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread, Then when I looked closer I realised it said "Thick Cut" not "Thick Cunt"

[Drew]

If you have sex with a prostitute, without her consenting, is that rape...or shop lifting?

[MSTRS:Me]

Someone told my to watch out for you. That you were two faced.
I said Bullshit! If you were two faced, why would you use the ugly one all the time?

[Reckless]

women standing in front of the mirrior getting ready to go out.
My arse is fat, my boobs are drooping and Im looking old
Say something nice to me she says to her husband.
Well darling he said you've got bloody good eyesight!

[MSTRS:Me]

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Oh good...all the buttons are working

[YellowDog]

Wife naked in front of mirror: "I want bigger boobs - Pay for a boob job."
Husband: "Save money, just rub toilet paper between the ones you have."
Wife: "Why do you think that will make them bigger?"
Husband: "It seems to have done the trick with your arse. Must be worth a try!"