How do I get the Mrs out riding?

[Bend-it]

The Mrs is a risk-averse, play it safe, almost obsessively so kinda person, and I'm the opposite... She has her own gear and all, and been on the back of my bikes several times, maybe 10 times in the past 5 years, but I've always felt like she comes on the bike just because I'd like her to...

She's ridden a 50cc automatic scooter I had several lives ago, up and down our street, never exceeding 30kph, and thought that was fun but scary.

So ladies... How do I get her into riding? Just buy a learner friendly bike, and leave it in the garage with a pink ribbon around it? Kidnap her and leave her somewhere with only a bike to get home on?

Or is it a lost cause?

P.S. Ohhh, and we have a (as of 3 June 2009) 9-day old baby girl... Yayyy!!

[BiK3RChiK]

Well, you'll have to wait a while to get her out now!:doh: But congratulations eh... kids are cool.

You get her a little pootle around bike that she can practice on and get her out in the park as much as possible.

But not being a risk-taker, you may have an uphill battle mate. All the best!

[NDORFN]

I know this is a chicks forum but I'm gonna stick my two cents in anyway... If she's not getting off on the trip, get her off on the destination ie. a hotel room, hot-pools, picnic at the beach etc... ALTHOUGH... having raised my daughter for most of her life, in the first 12 months, ANY reason to get out of the house will do, so your chances of getting her out have just increased somewhat. Conratulations by the way. Kids (or kid in my case) are hands down the most incredibly fucking awesome experience I've ever had.

[rosie631]

Or is it a lost cause?


I'd say lost cause. You are either into bikes or you're not IMHO

[CookMySock]

P.S. Ohhh, and we have a (as of 3 June 2009) 9-day old baby girl... Yayyy!!Thats awesome, but it does occur to you that she's, um, tired, doesn't it? If she's not yet - she soon will be.

Anyway, in answer to your question ; Well, I dragged my reluctant mrs into riding, and a year later she's unstoppable. I doubt I would have had ANY chance AT ALL if she had our nine-day old bubs though.

Um um um, thinking about it some more, I think you are probably temporarily screwed there mate, but maybe when the time comes, show her some "cool learner bikes" on trademe and see if any of them catch her eye. If she is plenty conservative, then tell her how easy to ride this one is, or how unsuitable that one is coz its too nasty and peaky.

But for the next couple of months at least, I bet she would probably like some peace and quiet and a nice sleep in.

best of luck though,
Steve

[yungatart]

This is a total piss take eh?

If not, you describe her as being risk averse AND having a nine day old baby, AND you want her to go riding.....

It will be a cold day in hell before she does....

[Bend-it]

You get her a little pootle around bike that she can practice on and get her out in the park as much as possible.

But not being a risk-taker, you may have an uphill battle mate. All the best!

This does mean getting her permission to buy a bike that I'll use to manipulate her into doing something she doesn't currently want to do... hmmm... Worth a try though!


ANY reason to get out of the house will do, so your chances of getting her out have just increased somewhat.

Yayyy... some hope...



But for the next couple of months at least, I bet she would probably like some peace and quiet and a nice sleep in.


haha.... 4 months for the weather to fine up and for me to find a fun, easy learner's bike... :)

[Nasty]

This is a total piss take eh?

If not, you describe her as being risk averse AND having a nine day old baby, AND you want her to go riding.....

It will be a cold day in hell before she does....

I agree it has to be a piss-take ... a newborn .. yeah just throw it in the pack and on the back ... that will go down well.

Not really about her being risk adverse .. more about her allowing you to still ride with a newborn and letting you take the risk of riding.

[Bend-it]

This is a total piss take eh?

If not, you describe her as being risk averse AND having a nine day old baby, AND you want her to go riding.....

It will be a cold day in hell before she does....

Yes, I think you've summarised my problem nicely...

BUT don't give me problems, give me solutions, woman! :D
:woohoo:

[yungatart]

Yes, I think you've summarised my problem nicely...

BUT don't give me problems, give me solutions, woman! :D
:woohoo:

Honey....she ain't gonna play!
Clear enough?

[Bend-it]

Nobody eveer accused me of being perceptive...

or giving up easily!!

Must

Try

Something....

[Stirts]

Congrats on the new bubs!! I doubt very much she will want to put her fanny anywhere near a bike at this stage.

Maybe once bubs is in a routine and all is settled she may be open to considering it. An angle you may want to take is to get another female rider that she knows, to talk to her about riding, and certainly someone that has kids too.

But best you leave it for now me finks! A sleep deprived women with her vagina stretch beyond recognition is not a woman you should mess with right now!

[Bend-it]

Congrats on the new bubs!! I doubt very much she will want to put her fanny anywhere near a bike at this stage.


Cruiser then? More a bum thing than a fanny thing, innit?

Hmmm, actually maybe it's the whole macho sportbike thing that she hasn't quite identified with... a cruiser might just be the thing to get her interested... Easier to weld a sidecar onto for bubs as well...

In afew months time of course...

[Stirts]

Hmmmmmmmmmm I sense patience is not a virtue you possess.

Talk first then maybe look at purchasing. Unless this is all a cunning ploy to get youself another bike.

[Bend-it]

Hmmmmmmmmmm I sense patience is not a virtue you possess.

Talk first then maybe look at purchasing. Unless this is all a cunning ploy to get youself another bike.

:):):)

The force is strong with this one...

Well, nothing wrong with killing 2 birds with 1 stone right? :innocent:

[Stirts]

:):):)

The force is strong with this one...

Well, nothing wrong with killing 2 birds with 1 stone right? :innocent:

:rofl: Love your work!!!

[vifferman]

My wife mentioned a couple of times getting a bike of her own, but she's not really that into it. I'm more than happy for her to ride pillion whenever she feels like it. I don't see the point in pushing the issue - and out kids are all BIG and independent (youngest is 19). I'm just happy that she 5 years ago decided she would take more interest in my main passion and started riding with me. Her making me buy the VFR was a bonus.

[Str8 Jacket]

The force is strong with this one...

Well, nothing wrong with killing 2 birds with 1 stone right? :innocent:

It might just be easier to get her stoned! :yes:

[CookMySock]

Cruiser then? More a bum thing than a fanny thing, innit?Um, in about a month from now you will look back and see why this was completely impossible. It's a hard thing to describe, and theres just a little more to it than such a simplistic approach.

But soon the opportunity will be back and when mum is feeling less tired she might like a little toy to pootle on.. perhaps while you look after bubs for half a day for her, but just at this moment you will be better off looking at what to make for dinner, and whether you can hang the washing out. Motorbikes will important again soon. Well, maybe a little longer than soon, but you never can tell.

Now back to making the carrot soup.. mmm..

Steve

[CookMySock]

My wife mentioned a couple of times getting a bike of her own, but she's not really that into it. Noooo, you dolt! Decoded, that means "you can buy me a learner bike now." :pinch:

lol
Steve

[The Stranger]

Must

Try

Something....

Why?
FFS this is like fighting for communism. Quit whilst you are ahead.

It's cheaper that way and who the hell is going to clean house, mind the kids and get dinner if she's out riding?

[Bend-it]

No no... it doesn't have to be a "now!!" thing...

Recognising the size of the task before me, I'm laying the groundwork for when it's actually time to strike...

I wonder if it's mechanically and legally possible to make a detacheable sidecar for a VL250... That way, I can start off saying it's a bike with a sidecar for me, and slower edge her only actually riding it... :)

[Finn]

How do I get her into riding?

Easy. Borrow some ladies perfume and spray a bit on your bike gear.

[Nasty]

No no... it doesn't have to be a "now!!" thing...

Recognising the size of the task before me, I'm laying the groundwork for when it's actually time to strike...

I wonder if it's mechanically and legally possible to make a detacheable sidecar for a VL250... That way, I can start off saying it's a bike with a sidecar for me, and slower edge her only actually riding it... :)

What it comes down to is you wish to enforce what you like on someone you apparently love. Go for it ... you don't want to be a family man for long ... so its worth doing. Forcing ... cajoling etc not even worth the bother .. if she wants to ride .. she will ... if she doesn't you are stupid to try and change her.

Thing this reminds me of is that so many people say a woman gets a man than tries to change him rather than accept him ... this may be the reverse ... but its still the same ... why can't you accept her? Is it that hard.

[Bend-it]

Easy. Borrow some ladies perfume and spray a bit on your bike gear.

Subtle and out of the box... I like...

[Bend-it]

Nasty, take a deep breath... you're taking this waaay too seriously... :)

[Nasty]

Nasty, take a deep breath... you're taking this waaay too seriously... :)

Good response ... doesn't stop you being a fool.

[Bend-it]

This is what I need!

http://www.howcast.com/videos/185186-How-To-Fit-a-Sidecar-To-a-Motorcycle-Part-001

[rosie631]

What it comes down to is you wish to enforce what you like on someone you apparently love. Go for it ... you don't want to be a family man for long ... so its worth doing. Forcing ... cajoling etc not even worth the bother .. if she wants to ride .. she will ... if she doesn't you are stupid to try and change her.

Thing this reminds me of is that so many people say a woman gets a man than tries to change him rather than accept him ... this may be the reverse ... but its still the same ... why can't you accept her? Is it that hard.

I agree. I repeat you are either into bikes or you aren't. If she was she would have been on the back of yours every chance she gets not just the, what was it, 10 times in 5 years.

[Rhubarb]

After having Children my Wife was similarly apprehensive. It was nothing irrational, she worried that if we both had an accident who would look after the Children. I'm sure every parent has thought about this at some stage.

In my case there came a time when the kids were old enough to enjoy a day at the Grandparents. We started off with a short ride down to the coffee shop (both on my bike). The rides would get slighlty longer everytime over a few months. It started being 'quality time alone together'.

Even though we both work we are lucky enough to have lunch together everyday and have been known to drive the car home at lunch time so we can go out for a quick ride before going back to work (a ride on the BIKE that is!!)

She has riden our SL125 many years ago. I suggested she ride my GSX750 around the holiday house at Christmas. It is a flat ride with heaps of room on a sunny day with only grass to fall on. I was nervous about letting her use my bike and hurting herself if she fell over but she was nervous about falling off and damaging the bike or hurting herself.

She loved it and now wants to ride it whenever she can. She also heard how much fun I had at the Brass Monkey this year and has already sorted out how she can come with me next time.

Our next step is to get her a GN250 or similar so she can get her licence.

This worked for us but then everyone's different.

[Nasty]

This is what I need!

http://www.howcast.com/videos/185186-How-To-Fit-a-Sidecar-To-a-Motorcycle-Part-001

Hmm would have thought this more appropriate ;)

http://www.ipmc.cnrs.fr/~duprat/neurophysiology/images/brain2.jpg

[Bend-it]

Hmm would have thought this more appropriate ;)

http://www.ipmc.cnrs.fr/~duprat/neurophysiology/images/brain2.jpg

nahh, who needs that?!?! Way over-rated... :bash:

[ManDownUnder]

Yes, I think you've summarised my problem nicely...

BUT don't give me problems, give me solutions, woman! :D
:woohoo:

My summary...
Have her meet the people, not the bikes. Get along to some KB things... some fun events, meet the reality of who rides.

Wait till baby is a shit load older. She's going to be tired man... very very very tired. Don't just give that some respect... give it ALL your respect. I honestly doubt you could overestimate how tired she will be over the next little while.

You want to get her into biking? Put her needs first over the next few years. Ahead of biking... and yes - YEARS. Don't give it up, but ask before bailing on a 4 hour excursion... especially if it's been a bad night last night, or the little one's sick or... she's just tired.

Last - grossly generalising, but be aware there's a general change that happens, especially to women, that they become a lot more risk averse when children arrive. It's part of the nurturing response... there's no way they'll put themsleves at risk.

Just the way it all works. Your can lead a horse to water... not that your wife is a horse...

[Bend-it]

Sigh... all you people making too much sense... I need madness!!

Madness, I tell you!

[Danae]

Take her for a really fast ride around some insane twisties. :laugh:

[Bend-it]

Take her for a really fast ride around some insane twisties. :laugh:

With the baby strapped on the tank like a tank bag!

*somebody call CYFS!!*

[Genestho]

been on the back of my bikes several times, maybe 10 times in the past 5 years, but I've always felt like she comes on the bike just because I'd like her to...


P.S. Ohhh, and we have a (as of 3 June 2009) 9-day old baby girl... Yayyy!!

Er, those two statements right there, are fairly indicative of your required answer. Flag it, and leave her be will you?

For the next however long she'll be breastfeeding around the clock...it takes a year for the body to go back to normal, and depending on bub, who knows how long before a full nights sleep comes back again.

OH! Congrats on the little dude (or dudette)!!!:niceone:

[Danae]

With the baby strapped on the tank like a tank bag!

*somebody call CYFS!!*

Would bling you if I could! :lol:

[Bend-it]

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

[Stirts]

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

:killingme

Bet you got some dirty looks from the nurses doing that to bubs!

[Danae]

:lol: See, bub will be perfectly fine! :niceone:

[crazyhorse]

The Mrs is a risk-averse, play it safe, almost obsessively so kinda person, and I'm the opposite... She has her own gear and all, and been on the back of my bikes several times, maybe 10 times in the past 5 years, but I've always felt like she comes on the bike just because I'd like her to...

She's ridden a 50cc automatic scooter I had several lives ago, up and down our street, never exceeding 30kph, and thought that was fun but scary.

So ladies... How do I get her into riding? Just buy a learner friendly bike, and leave it in the garage with a pink ribbon around it? Kidnap her and leave her somewhere with only a bike to get home on?

Or is it a lost cause?

P.S. Ohhh, and we have a (as of 3 June 2009) 9-day old baby girl... Yayyy!!


Its not gonna happen mate - If she was keen to ride, and you no doubt have suggested it many times, then she would've jumped at it. Being on the back 10 times in 5 years is a pretty good indication that its not what she wants, and now you have a child (congrats!) even more so won't happen, her goal post has moved and she won't risk anything more than she has to for a while. But, hey, in about 5 years, try again.

[AllanB]

Sigh... all you people making too much sense... I need madness!!

Madness, I tell you!



OK go get yourself a super attractive 20 year old girlfriend and take her riding - your missus will soon be interested...........

Please note that the author takes no responsibility whatsoever for the results of any of his advice...

[Bend-it]

OK go get yourself a super attractive 20 year old girlfriend and take her riding - your missus will soon be interested...........



:killingme

Bet you got some dirty looks from the nurses doing that to bubs!

One of these nurses perhaps... :msn-wink:

[Laxi]

This is what I need!

http://www.howcast.com/videos/185186-How-To-Fit-a-Sidecar-To-a-Motorcycle-Part-001

yeah????
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/0oEN4q-2iBg&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/0oEN4q-2iBg&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

[Laxi]

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

harden up dude!... get bubs its own damn bike!:stupid:

[Danae]

@Laxi: I LOL'D. The lady should have had a baby though...and a mini sidecar for it, attached to the other sidecar.

...Metalocalypse anyone?

[rosie631]

Ok, forget the Mrs. If she was gonna take an interest in the bike she would have done so by now. Best bet is to get your wee girl interested from an early age. Then in 12 or so years I'm sure she'll be happy to keep you company on the bike.

[flame]

Just offer to take care of the screaming bubs with pooey naps and spewy chin for her and throw her the keys! that'd work for me! Id never come back! LOL

[gilly]

I started on my first bike at 15.

With baby number one came the minivan.

It's taken 21 years, but I've got my bike back.

Now your a family man your money will be spent on the kids. Forget the bike for a while. Go looking for a people mover.

[buellbabe]

Bend-it I reckon ya just might have to admit defeat on this one.

She has been on the back of your bike 5 times in 10 years.

I can well understand how much you would like to share the love of riding with your lady but it seems to be pretty obvious she ain't interested so why persevere in pushing your own wants onto her?

Not meaning to offend but just because one half of a partnership rides doesn't make it a prerequisite for the other half to. Sometimes thats just the way it is.
I once went out with a lovely man who liked bikes but had no desire to ride one himself...well of course I wanted to spend time with him and that meant missing out on riding. In the end I became quite miserable and we went our separate ways. That experience taught me that its very important to me to have shared interests with my man and since the bike is such a HUGE part of my life...well no bike? not interested...

But in your case, you knew she wasn't a biker when you got together so years down the track you are probably just gonna have to accept that she really isn't into it...thats a shame but obviously the two of you have a strong relationship so never mind eh?

I have a friend who does MEGA miles on his bike and most times I see him his wife is otherwise occu[pied doing her own thing. Occasionally she will get on the back but its more likely that he will go tiki-touring and she flies to the destination and then they spend some quality time together...

[joshy28]

ive got my partner riding now...It took alot of convincing but i did it. I would create little scenarios in her head like "babe, i don't like you at the back. Because you are independant, strong and you are a very very sexxy woman, it would be a waste of your talents to just be a passenger"

[CookMySock]

I still think it's doable, but not until she is getting enough sleep - a few months perhaps, and you are really going to have to pull your finger out with helping around the house. Mums DO need some little distracting thing here and there to make them grin, but she doesn't know a bike will do that for her just yet.

I think I'd buy a little learner bike that SHE found appealing(**1), and park it in the shed so it's easy to get out. Make sure it's easy to start and easy to ride, and pull it out and park it in the driveway occasionally and polish it for her, and start it and give it a little blap on the throttle, but DO NOT ride it. Then put it back in the shed and leave it there and DON"T PESTER HER ABOUT IT.

Be prepared to sell it six months down the track - never ridden, but don't give up on the idea. Try something similar in a year or two or six and see what develops.

**1 How you will find what she likes without being a pest will be a bit of a puzzle, but hey so is being a Dad and Husband, so you'll have to figure that one out.

Steve

[Bend-it]

I think I'd buy a little learner bike...

Hmmm, can't get that ZX10r then... :bash:

[Bend-it]

but I have... just... with her permission too... pick up tomorrow, pics up soon after! 2thumbsup

[crazyhorse]

Baby no. 2 will come along before you realise!

SO, get the inlaws to babysit and take your mrs on the back of your bike for a weekend away - who knows this might work - but will probably be years down the track , and then you can talk her into how much fun it will be to have her own bike and something you can do together without the kids....... worth a try!

[Bend-it]

By the time no. 2 comes along, no. 1 will be out riding with me!!

:wari::wari::wari:

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=132964&d=1245830579

hmmm, how to I link to a previously uploaded photo (above) and have it appear here as well?

[howdamnhard]

Well, you'll have to wait a while to get her out now!:doh: But congratulations eh... kids are cool.

not being a risk-taker, you may have an uphill battle mate. All the best!

What she said. Some people are into bikes and some are not. Some are risk takers and some are not. Don't try force her to be something she isn't as I'm sure she hasn't tried to stop you riding. Accept this is just how things are and that together you make a great team that balances each other out.:yes:

[1wheel riot]

some gals just dont wont to ride a bike.

[BiK3RChiK]

Get her a v-twin! V-twin for the win ;)

[oldrider]

The Mrs is a risk-averse, play it safe, almost obsessively so kinda person, and I'm the opposite... She has her own gear and all, and been on the back of my bikes several times, maybe 10 times in the past 5 years, but I've always felt like she comes on the bike just because I'd like her to...

She's ridden a 50cc automatic scooter I had several lives ago, up and down our street, never exceeding 30kph, and thought that was fun but scary.

So ladies... How do I get her into riding? Just buy a learner friendly bike, and leave it in the garage with a pink ribbon around it? Kidnap her and leave her somewhere with only a bike to get home on?

Or is it a lost cause?

P.S. Ohhh, and we have a (as of 3 June 2009) 9-day old baby girl... Yayyy!!

It's not a lost cause but you must be sure to make it an enjoyable (from her point of view) experience for her to be on the bike with you! (practice empathy)

Secretly I always look forward to hearing Mrs o/r's (unsolicited) response when we get home...."Oh what a lovely ride"....YES! :ride:

Of course I always attempt to take liberties and push the envelope out, little by little! (it's what we do)

Congratulations on the new baby, if you can persuade her to have one of those, getting her on the back seat of the bike should be a breeze! Good luck! :niceone:

[CibbyBabe]

The Mrs is a risk-averse, play it safe, almost obsessively so kinda person, and I'm the opposite... She has her own gear and all, and been on the back of my bikes several times, maybe 10 times in the past 5 years, but I've always felt like she comes on the bike just because I'd like her to...
2009) 9-day old baby girl... Yayyy!!

Congrats on the little one! I sound very similar to your wife, i have always been the kind of person that has thought of the consequences, and if i could get hurt then i wont do it. But when my husband bought his bike, i decided i should learn too.. At first i used to hold on really tight and was really scared.
We also have a little girl, born in Jan 09 so i get a bit worried,if something was to happen to me - how would she feel. so i think the best thing to do is talk to her heaps about bikes and get her excited about them - that what my hubby has done with me. he shows me bikes all the time and talks about things. It makes me want to ride :) hope that helps a little.:niceone: