Great comeback

[Stirts]

One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her arse and said, "You know if you firmed this up you could get rid of your girdle."

The next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the tit and said,"You know if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra."

She rolled over and grabbed him by the cock and said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the gardener, the window cleaner, and your brother."

[CookMySock]

She rolled over and grabbed him by the cock and said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the gardener, the window cleaner, and your brother."Damn, and he didn't even get to watch? :nono:

Steve

[NDORFN]

How did I know you'd be the first to reply to this one DB? You know, there are sites like Horny Matches, and Adult Friend Finder for dudes like you.

[CookMySock]

How did I know you'd be the first to reply to this one DB? You know, there are sites like Horny Matches, and Adult Friend Finder for dudes like you.Bah, they are a waste of time bro. All too conservative.

Steve

[Stirts]

A Martian couple landed on the earth. The emerged from their spacecraft and went up to a farmhouse. They knocked on the door. When the farmer and his wife answered, they announced that they were from Mars and wanted to come in to chat. The farm couple extended their hospitality and they all seemed to hit it off well. After a while, the farmer said "Do you two swing?"

The martian replied, "yes", and so they swapped mates and adjourned for appropriate activity.

After the martian man had climbed on, he said to the earth woman, "Is my dick long enough?"

She replied, "Well, now that you mention it, I would like it a little longer."

He said "no problem" and proceded to twist his left ear and, like magic, his dick got longer. "How's that now?"

"One notch more" said the woman.

Her request was promptly complied with via another twist of the left ear. His next question was "Would you like it a little thicker?"

She replied "yes" and he twisted his right ear once. The woman said "That's perfect!" and they proceeded to bang away.

The next morning the earth couple were comparing experiences and the husband said "how was it for you?" The wife replied, "Super! How about you?"

The husband responded, "It was pretty good, but she damn near twisted my ears off!"

[EJK]

Hahaha that's very good Stirts.

[CookMySock]

LOL thats great!

Steve

[ManDownUnder]

I just googled housewife and gardiner... I think the hubby could watch if he wanted to... WOWSER!!!!!

[allycatz]

Wife getting undressed one evening asks hubby for breast implants. "Just rub toilet paper all over them," he says. "toilet paper won't make them bigger" says the wife. "why not" says hubby. "worked for ya arse"

[CookMySock]

oooooh thats low, though.. :pinch:

Steve

[Stirts]

I just googled housewife and gardiner... I think the hubby could watch if he wanted to... WOWSER!!!!!

You are such a dirty bitch!

WOWSER?!? :rofl:

[Stirts]

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "and aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."

A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife wanted". The next day, he received hundreds letters. They all said the same thing "You can have mine."

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or his wife is new.

[ManDownUnder]

You are such a dirty bitch!
No - but she sure is!!!!!!! And he's not shy either.

[crazyhorse]

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "and aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."

A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife wanted". The next day, he received hundreds letters. They all said the same thing "You can have mine."

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or his wife is new.


These are very clever....

[vifferman]

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or his wife is new.
That's why I lahk to do eet: it seems and feels like we're newly in love.:love:

[crazyhorse]

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt.' So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me'
And she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'
And then the fight started...

[Stirts]

That's why I lahk to do eet: it seems and feels like we're newly in love.:love:

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww man that has warmed my feeling! That is so sweet!


After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt.' So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me'
And she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'
And then the fight started...

:rofl: Now that is bloody funny!!!

[crazyhorse]

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered,
'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
And then the fight started ...

[Stirts]

A loving husband gets the words "I love you" tattooed on his dick. He went home and showed his wife. She looked at him and shook her head, "There you go trying to put words in my mouth again!"

One day a women makes her husband hire a chauffeur and a maid. The next week the man comes back to the wife and says "If you learn to cook we can fire the maid." She turned to him and replied "Oh yeah, If you learn to make love we can fire the chauffeur"

An angry husband returned home one night to find his wife in bed with a naked man. 'What are you doing' he shouted. To which his wife said to her lover 'I told you he was stupid'

[Maha]

Years ago, I walked into a shop in Rotorua and asked the lady behind the counter '' Got something for my throat''? she said ''how bout a knife'....:eek:

Another time I asked for a packet of Winfield Blue...''Is that smoke here or take away''?....:confused:

[NDORFN]

I was out riding with some mates and we stopped for a smoke and a chat. One said "Man, I had to promise my wife I'd mow the lawns this arvo, wash the car and paint the fence to get her permission to ride today". The other says "Mate, that's nothing. I had to promise to dig the vege-garden, pull the carpet up in the hallway, and clean the gutters!". "You guys got off easy!" says another "Wifey made me promise to re-do the entire fucking bathroom!". They all turned to me for my pathetic sob-story... "Well, when the alarm I set last night went off at 5am this morning, I rolled over, slapped her on the arse and said 'Sex or riding hunny?'".

P.S This never really happened to me.

[The Stranger]

One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her arse and said, "You know if you firmed this up you could get rid of your girdle."

The next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the tit and said,"You know if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra."



That Gordie can be soo fooken cruel at times eh.

[Stirts]

That Gordie can be soo fooken cruel at times eh.

He doesn't call me Rolly HeY Hey for nothing!

[Lias]

He doesn't call me Rolly HeY Hey for nothing!

Bwhahaha

I thought I was the only person who remember rolly hei hei.

[Patch]

Bwhahaha

I thought I was the only person who remember rolly hei hei.
that would imply you're the only old fart who knows how to navigate on the interdweeb