Adventure? I'm in...

[SARGE]

THE ULTIMATE ADVENTURE CRUISE

To The Point is excited to offer the ultimate adventure cruise along the pirate-infested coast of Somalia !
We board our luxury cruise ship in Djibouti on the Gulf of Aden near the entrance to the Red Sea, and disembark in Mombasa, Kenya seven adrenaline-charged days later.

Starting at $5,200 per-person (double occupancy, inside room) and $6,900 (veranda complete with bench rest), you’ll relax like never before.

That’s because you are welcome to bring your own arsenal with you. If you don’t have your own weapons, you can rent them from our onboard Master Gunsmith. Enjoy reloading parties every afternoon with skeet and marksmanship competitions every night!
But the best fun of all, of course, is Pirate Target Practice.

For the object of the cruise is to sail up and down the Somali
Coast waiting to get hijacked by pirates. The weapons rental costs are as follows.

Rent a full auto M-16 for only $25/day with ammo attractively priced at $16 per 100 rounds of 5.56 armor-piercing:

On a budget? Rent a full-auto scope-mounted AK-47 for only $9/day with 7.62 ball ammo at$12 per 100 rounds:

Hello! Nothing gets a pirate’s attention like a Barrett M-107 50-cal sniper rifle;
only $59/day with 25 rounds of armor-piercing ammo affordably priced at only
$29.95.

Need a spotter? Our professional crew members can double as spotters for only $30/hour (spotting scope included, but gratuities are not.)

Want to make a real impact? Rent an RPG for only $175/day with three fragmentation rounds included!

Also included: Free complimentary night vision equipment - and throughout the night, coffee, pastries and snacks are always available on the main deck from 7pm until 6am. Our deluxe package comes complete with gourmet meals and all rooms offer a mini-bar.

But that’s not all! Twin mounted miniguns are available for rental at only $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire! We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or you’ll receive an instant $1,000 refund upon arrival in Mombassa.
How can we make that guarantee? We operate at 5 knots just beyond 12 nautical miles off the coast of Somalia, thus in international waters where pirates have no rights whatever. In fact, we make three passes through the area’s most treacherous waters to ensure maximum visibility by Somali “mother ships”.

We repeat this for five]days, making three complete passes past the entire Somali
Coast. At night, the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot every five minutes with loud disco music directionally beamed shore side to attract maximum attention.

Testimonials from previous participants in the Somali Cruise:
”Six attacks in 4 days were more than I expected. I bagged three pirates, my wife
nailed two, and my 12-year old son sank two boats with the mini-gun. This wonderful cruise was fun for the whole
family”—Fred D., Cincinnati, OH
“Pirates 0, Passengers 32! Well worth the trip! Can’t recommend it
highly enough!”—Ben L., Bethesda, MD

“I haven’t had this much fun since flying choppers in ‘ Nam. Don’t
worry about getting shot by pirates.... they never even go close to the ship with the crap they shoot and their lousy aim... reminds me of a drunken juicer door-gunner we picked
up from the motor pool in Phu Bai!”—Dan J. - Denver, CO

Come on board and bag your own clutch of genuine Somali pirates! But cabin space is limited so you need to respond quickly. Reserve your package before October 31st and get a great bonus - 100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the caliber of your choice. So sign up for the Ultimate Somali Coast Adventure Cruise now

[P38]

I'd like to rent a GAU-8 with a couple of tonnes of ammo and some serious earmuffs. :yes::yes::yes:

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Oh and I dont think I would require the bench rest :apint::apint:

[rat biker 08]

Where do i get one:2guns::2guns:

[SARGE]

I'd like to rent a GAU-8 with a couple of tonnes of ammo and some serious earmuffs. :yes::yes::yes:

Oh and I dont think I would require the bench rest :apint::apint:

oooo0000000OOOO0000oooo!

[slofox]

I'll come!

[3L4NS1R]

Scoped AK-47? Thats crazy talk!

[mikeey01]

O hell Sarge there's too many choices!!!!!

Forget the AK!
I'd need a few, call me a tart I like shareing the love.
Something with a bit of range and a wee bit of stopping power, say a Barrett M-107 50-cal (hell yes)
Then perhaps something a little closer in, say in the 7.62mm cal stakes would be just fine
Finally if all goes to shit an MP5 (by now me thinks I won't be needing the -SD model on this tab :) ) for the real nitty gritty if needed.
Yeah that's my list, it'll do just fine.
Now where's me credit card :)

Although that GAU looks like a hoot and deserves a grand or three thrown at it for a play, just to say I've done it mind you :)

[MSTRS]

I'll come!

I did already, just thinking about it! :drool:

[SARGE]

O hell Sarge there's too many choices!!!!!

Forget the AK!
I'd need a few, call me a tart I like shareing the love.
Something with a bit of range and a wee bit of stopping power, say a Barrett M-107 50-cal (hell yes)
Then perhaps something a little closer in, say in the 7.62mm cal stakes would be just fine
Finally if all goes to shit an MP5 (by now me thinks I won't be needing the -SD model on this tab :) ) for the real nitty gritty if needed.
Yeah that's my list, it'll do just fine.
Now where's me credit card :)

Although that GAU looks like a hoot and deserves a grand or three thrown at it for a play, just to say I've done it mind you :)



i've never fired the GAU but ive seen one go off hooked up to the WartHawgs and one out of the side of a gunship


not much left of anything it was aimed at :headbang:


4200 rounds per min.. no way in hell will anyone ever hold onto it


this is my fav aircraft PERIOD

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[Usarka]

this is my fav aircraft PERIOD
Sexy beast.


Are we sure the cruise is a joke? :innocent:

[SARGE]

Sexy beast.


thank you .. you're not so bad yourself..



Are we sure the cruise is a joke? :innocent:

im sure SOMEONE on KB knows someone with a boat or would be willing to finance one for a "boys weekend"..


Finn?

[Slyer]

I'd like to rent a GAU-8 with a couple of tonnes of ammo and some serious earmuffs. :yes::yes::yes:

Oh and I dont think I would require the bench rest :apint::apint:
They got an gun and built a jet around it. :D

[Usarka]

i've never fired the GAU but ive seen one go off hooked up to the WartHawgs and one out of the side of a gunship

not much left of anything it was aimed at :headbang:

4200 rounds per min.. no way in hell will anyone ever hold onto it

this is my fav aircraft PERIOD


I love this pic......

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f5/GAU-8_meets_VW_Type_1.jpg/800px-GAU-8_meets_VW_Type_1.jpg

[mikeey01]

Hey how about one of these too Sarge?

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[Ooky]

oh yes one of those with the grenade rounds please!:rockon::gob:

[Mikkel]

I'd like to rent a GAU-8 with a couple of tonnes of ammo and some serious earmuffs. :yes::yes::yes:

Sorry, since the dimwits who designed the A-10 didn't include V/STOL in the design brief the GAU-8 will no be available for deployment on cruiseships... :rolleyes:


i've never fired the GAU but ive seen one go off hooked up to the WartHawgs and one out of the side of a gunship

Wasn't even aware they ever fitted them to anything else than the A-10s... That'll be a serious helicopter!!!


4200 rounds per min.. no way in hell will anyone ever hold onto it

It's not so much the rate of fire as it is the caliber - 30 mm (360-425 gram projectiles) is a hefty slug by all definitions. As a comparison the "puny" M61 Vulcan (F16, F14, F15, etc.) has a rate of fire of 6,000 rounds per minute - but it's only a 20 mm (~100 gram projectile) or the XM134 (AKA Minigun) which uses 7.62x51 mm NATO ammunition - which is the weapon mounted on the helicopters during the Vietnam war, and which is the closest thing to a hand-held minigun ever developed (apparently the governor of California has one... (http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/terminator/images/thumb/a/a4/Arnie-minigun.jpg/200px-Arnie-minigun.jpg)).

[P38]

Sorry, since the dimwits who designed the A-10 didn't include V/STOL in the design brief the GAU-8 will no be available for deployment on cruiseships... :rolleyes:



Wasn't even aware they ever fitted them to anything else than the A-10s... That'll be a serious helicopter!!!



It's not so much the rate of fire as it is the caliber - 30 mm (360-425 gram projectiles) is a hefty slug by all definitions. As a comparison the "puny" M61 Vulcan (F16, F14, F15, etc.) has a rate of fire of 6,000 rounds per minute - but it's only a 20 mm (~100 gram projectile) or the XM134 (AKA Minigun) which uses 7.62x51 mm NATO ammunition - which is the weapon mounted on the helicopters during the Vietnam war, and which is the closest thing to a hand-held minigun ever developed (apparently the governor of California has one... (http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/terminator/images/thumb/a/a4/Arnie-minigun.jpg/200px-Arnie-minigun.jpg)).

Yeah the 30mm slug sure is a hefty piece of metal.

But thats not all.... The Gau-8 also fires depleted urainium armour piercing rounds delivered at lightning speeds from a couple of kms away.

Nowhere to run, Nowhere to hide!

[shafty]

FAR OUT!! Some SEXY weaponry, easily enough to sort out the Noise Control Guy. There's something about a 3 second warning burst of 300 rounds!!

Now where on the ST1300 could it go.............

[elevenhundred]

Sore shoulders for everyone :)

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[imdying]

Wasn't even aware they ever fitted them to anything else than the A-10s... That'll be a serious helicopter!!!They haven't ever been fitted to anything other than A10s.

Presumably he meant something like an AC130 when he said gunship, rather than a helicopter. Which would make sense as he's actually thinking of the GAU12, which is also a serious piece of kit, although not in the league of the GAU8.

[MisterD]

I don't think I've ever said it before but bags be goalkeeper :niceone:

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[Mikkel]

Never heard of the Goalkeeper before - but the Phalanx system on the other hand...

I love the tracer shots at night at the end of this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgpQBZF2sZQ

And a compilation of Warthog footage:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bMfrixJyWc&feature=related

[MisterD]

Goalkeeper is the GAU-8 gun (he says, contradicting imdying...), Phalanx is a mere 20mm summat or other gatling variant...:bleh:

[Mikkel]

Goalkeeper is the GAU-8 gun (he says, contradicting imdying...), Phalanx is a mere 20mm summat or other gatling variant...:bleh:

Ah, so for hunting deer - not just ducks and other waterfowl... the american way of course :D

[TOTO]

Would gladly sell some toys to get to this kind of adventure :yes:

[Mikkel]

Actually, I've found the perfect application for the goalkeeper system. Set one up at every intersection in NZ and connect it to a red-light-runner-camera. Problem solved! :done:

[jimichelle]

Somali Cruise Package


I was checking cruise lines because I heard the rates are very cheap right now.

I found a Somali cruise package that departs from Sawakin (in the Sudan) and docks at Bagamoya (in Tanzania).

The cost is a bit high @ 800 per person double occupancy but I didn't find that offensive. What I found encouraging and enlightened is that the cruise is encouraging people to bring their 'High powered weapons' along on the cruise. If you don't have your own weapons you can rent them right there on the boat. They claim to have a master gunsmith on board and will have reloading parties every afternoon as well as optional marksmanship training. The cruise lasts from 4-8 days and nights and costs a maximum of $3200 per person double occupancy (4 days). All the boat does is sail up and down the coast of Somalia waiting to get hijacked by pirates. Here are some of the costs and claims associated with the package.

* $800.00 US/per day double occupancy (4 day max billing)

* M-16 full auto rental $ 25.00/day ammo at 100 rounds of 5..56 armor piercing ammo at 15.95 (Best weapon for your kids, say, under 5. Make sure they know how to clear it.)

* Ak-47 riffle @ No charge. ammo at 100 rounds of 7.62 com block ball ammo at 14.95
* Barrett M-107 .50 cal sniper riffle rental 55.00/day ammo at 25 rounds 50 cal armour piercing at 9.95

* Crew members can double as spotters for 30.00 per hour (spotting scope included).

* Wow - they even offer RPG's at 75 bucks and 200 dollars for 3 standard loads
* "Everyone gets use of free complimentary night vision equipment and coffee and snacks on the top deck from 7pm-6am."

* Meals are not included but costs seem reasonable.

* Most cruises offer a mini-bar... these gung ho entrepreneurs offer.......... get this.....

* "MOUNTED MINIGUN AVAILABLE @ 450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire"

They advertise group rates and corporate discounts......and even claim "FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY"

They even have a partial money back offer if not satisfied....here's some text from the ad.

"We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or we will refund half your money back including gun rental charges and any unused ammo (mini-gun charges not included). How can we guarantee you will experience a hijacking? We operate at 5 knots within 12 miles of the coast of Somalia. If an attempted Hijacking does not occur we will turn the boat around and cruise by at 4 knots. We will repeat this for up to 8 days making three passes a day along the entire length of Somalia. At night the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot off at intervals and loud disco music beamed shore side to attract attention. Cabin space is limited so respond quickly. Reserve your package before the end of May and get 100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the calibre of your choice."

As if all that isn't enough to whet your appetite, there were a few testimonials

* "I got three confirmed kills on my last trip. I'll never hunt big game in Africa again. I felt like the Komandant in Schindlers list!"---- Lars, Hamburg, Germany

* "Six attacks in 4 days were more than I expected. I bagged three pirates and my 12yr old son sank two rowboats with the mini-gun. PIRATES 0 - PASSENGERS-32! Well worth the trip. Just make sure your spotter speaks English" - Ned, Salt Lake city, Utah USA

* "I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in NAM. Don't worry about getting shot by pirates as they never even got close to the ship with those weapons they use and their squirrelly aim-reminds me of the 15 year old Gomers we ran into in Cambodia who fired with their eyes closed"-" Glen the Rotorhead" Harvard, MA USA.

* "Like ducks in a barrel. This is a must do! - Zeke, Minnahaw Springs, Kentucky, USA

[marty]

copied from an earlier thread:

http://www.somalicruises.com/

[CookMySock]

Fucken bullshit!!! Is that for real?? What a gag!! I'd so do that...

Steve

[fliplid]

copied from an earlier thread:

http://www.somalicruises.com/
Their website is a bit more "professional" :blink:

[Grasshopperus]

Yeah, just send them $800 now to help secure the exit permit for the cruise. Then they'll refund you the money plus 10% !!!

Seriously though, what sort of sub-human would even be attracted to that.

[Usarka]

Seriously though, what sort of sub-human would even be attracted to that.


I'd so do that...


Bahahahahahaha

[CookMySock]

BahahahahahahaCmon, its a great idea! :sunny:

Steve

[Marmoot]

LOL and you think it's only a joke.

Suspected Somali pirates arrested by French navy after mistakenly trying to hi-jack a warship. (http://www.reuters.com/news/video?videoChannel=2602&videoId=103135)

[awayatc]

And if you would live in Somalia,
where the once relatively rich fishing grounds got plundered almost overnight by the "wealthy /greedy nations.....
what exactly would you do to survive....?

I'd be a pirate at least....
or probably worse...

[p.dath]

LOL and you think it's only a joke.

Suspected Somali pirates arrested by French navy after mistakenly trying to hi-jack a warship. (http://www.reuters.com/news/video?videoChannel=2602&videoId=103135)

That's hilarious!

[Dave Lobster]

Suspected Somali pirates arrested by French navy after mistakenly trying to hijack a warship.

And the french ship didn't surrender? ?WTF??

[EJK]

Pfffft! Where can I get them jet skis with dual-machine guns mounted on each side?