Thinking about giving up the bike... [Archive]

mashman

6th July 2009, 12:08

I know, another bloody giving up the bike thread... well it's that time of life I suppose. I don't get out anymore, my gear is in ruins and I can't afford to buy anymore... i've done about 4000 k's in the last year and a half, which did include one superb day at Manfeild (something else i can't afford anymore, let alone justify keeping the Prila for), but I guess my passion is really with the kids these days. They're all growing up and in quite stunning fashion and i'm finding it harder and harder to justify 3 hours away from the them at the weekend, just to please me. Essentially i'm talking about selling the bike i saved for for 7 years and the bike i've always wanted... We could certainly do with the cash flow in the house (as doing ANYTHING usually means selling something and i've run out of things to sell) Yet there's a niggling doubt in my mind that i should keep the Prila, as i'm sure the time will come when i walk into the garage for a ride and she won't be there... She's been loved, got nicks and scratches etc... but i've maintained her well, added ohlins suspension, got her set up for me, got some newish sticky tyres on her (which gave me no end of confidence) and yet I just can't make a decision...

It sounds like it should be an easy decision, kids or bike... but even my wife has doubts... she watched me save and drool repeatedly...

I guess i'm sitting on the fence, but leaning towards keeping the Prila for no other reason than i might and yet what i can do with the kids with that kind of cash is, well is bound to be worth it... arrrrrgggggggg... regrets i've had a few...

I'm comforted by the fact that in about 3 years or so i'll be able to get another one, but this one was mine, all mine, my new dream bike... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

MIXONE

6th July 2009, 12:17

I feel your pain and can totally relate to it.With the new rego costs as well something has gotta give.

EJK

6th July 2009, 12:22

Like you said, sounds like an easy decision however don't worry. Bikes come and go, family stays forever.

You can always return in the future. Easy :)

tigertim20

6th July 2009, 12:48

for starters put the rego on hold for a bit if you arent using it in the meantime.
I understand your pain, I was going to suggest selling it and buying a cheap 600 instead, but you seem very stuck on this bike. Of course you love your kids but I will point out 2 things.
1) are the kids old enough to come for rides on the back? perhaps this is something you could do with them on weekends, give each child a chance to go have some alone time with dad, thay may even develop a passion for bikes themselves!
2) if you do sell the bike alltogether, I am willing to bet that in 6 months you will realise that the bike was your oportunity to get out for an hour or three from time to time when you just needed some personal 'me' space. My girl has a bike but never asks to come as well unless I have asked her if she wants to, she recognises that its my chillout and think time when Im out on the bike.

Tough decision, but reading what you have written seems to me like you are saying "I wonder if i should sell it, but I dont want to" thats the message I am getting. Hang onto it in the meantime untill you are sure you want to flick it off, it does sound as though you have poured alot of effort into making it YOUR bike!

skidMark

6th July 2009, 12:52

By no means an easy decision...

but kids grow up fast and you want to cherish your time with them... and being able to financially support them is also good.

In saying that i know how hard it is to give up your baby, just sold my katana and i'm regretting it, but i know it had to be done.

Stirts

6th July 2009, 13:04

but I guess my passion is really with the kids these days. They're all growing up and in quite stunning fashion and i'm finding it harder and harder to justify 3 hours away from the them at the weekend, just to please me.

WE ALL NEED OUR ME TIME!!! Doesn't mean that you don't love your kids or wife any less.

I just can't make a decision...

I guess i'm sitting on the fence, but leaning towards keeping the Prila for no other reason than i might and yet what i can do with the kids with that kind of cash is, well is bound to be worth it... arrrrrgggggggg...

You can do other stuff with your kids that doesn't have to cost money, going to the beach/park, playing in the backyard etc. Kids don't give a shit what they do really, as long as they have some quality time with Dad.

regrets i've had a few...

If you know you are going to regret selling the bike. DON'T

Just my 2c

vifferman

6th July 2009, 13:11

It's a hard decision alright, so don't rush into it. If it's just a time thing, then perhaps you could put some effort into organising your spare time a bit better, and prioritsing things. If it's more the money, then now is not a good time to sell anyway, what with the economic downturn, and the fact it's winter so interest will be lowish, so you'll sell the thing for less than it's worth. You'll effectively be chucking money away.
It's your choice, but do take some time to make sure it's the right choice.

Murray

6th July 2009, 13:24

... but even my wife has doubts... she watched me save and drool repeatedly...

Never thought I would ever say it but the wife sounds like she's got some common sense and very supportive of you.

Listen to her feelings!!!!

MaxB

6th July 2009, 13:25

The trouble with quick cash is unless you have something solid to put the $$$ into like the mortgage, a boat, kiddies MX bikes the family will just chew through the money in no time. Kids have no concept of how much effort it took you to get your dream bike. They just want things now.

Headbanger

6th July 2009, 13:33

Just park it up, I put my family time before my "me" time, so my bike stays in the shed most weekends and I do shit with my kids.

The bike will still be there when I return to her with more time on my hands.

HenryDorsetCase

6th July 2009, 13:39

Bikes come and go, family stays forever.

I KNOW. why dont they just bugger off!???!?!?!?

short-circuit

6th July 2009, 13:53

Yeah bro - time to give it away (the bike that is - to me that is).

Pussy

6th July 2009, 14:00

Gordon... you're a good bastard, and I'm sure a great father (VERY cute kids, too, by the way).
You have worked hard to get that bike and make it "yours".

Listen to Mrs Mashman.... I reckon she supports you keeping it. Stirts is on to it

wysper

6th July 2009, 14:56

but I guess my passion is really with the kids these days. They're all growing up and in quite stunning fashion and i'm finding it harder and harder to justify 3 hours away from the them at the weekend, just to please me.

Man, do I hear you. I have two young kids (5 and 2) and I know what you mean by feeling like you are taking the time from them when you go for a ride.
We are a one income family so I have the added bit of feeling guilty for not giving my wife some time to herself either. I work all week and then shoot off for a ride for several hours on one day of the weekend. Gives her no real break.

However, I wouldn't sell the bike. Even if you do what is suggested. Rego on hold for a while. And a previous poster is right.. the family will just burn through the money and you will be back looking for the next thing to get some more cash. Kids will demand the latest toy or fad or thing.. but they will REMEMBER being with you and the things you did together. At least that is what I remember from my mum and dad. We weren't rich and I don't care. I had parents who loved me.

If you can pass that on to your kids they will remember their childhood with good memories and love. Selling the bike wont buy those memories.

Love your family. Love to ride. It's all good.

toebug

6th July 2009, 15:50

I agree with everyone here. Keep the bike and include the family in your riding, then you can have your cake and eat it too!

Cajun

6th July 2009, 15:57

Mash - after looking at some of prices aprilia's are selling at, your get jackshit for it really.

Like others said, park it up, with a sheet over it or get one of those limited rego thingys that let you do max of 5,000kms a year.

And see what you feel like when summer rolls around, weather you will want to have a small blast here or there.

MarkH

6th July 2009, 16:09

I know, another bloody giving up the bike thread... well it's that time of life I suppose.

Perfect solution:
Why don't you let me take care of your bike for you (I'll do it free of charge) and I'll even pay for WOF & Reg. Then when you want to ride again you can let me know. I can think of no flaws whatsoever with my idea!

Big Dave

6th July 2009, 16:16

'Scuse the lack of diplomacy here but IMO, Kids and family come first. You can have your toys after you have provided for them. It's a machine. Piss it off and get another one when the time is right.

Or get yourself another job or something.

And a haircut.

Winston001

6th July 2009, 16:38

Understand exactly what you mean. I parked my R80 up for 12 years while my children went through their early stages and it was absolutely the right thing to do. No regrets.

I had "me" time without any need for a bike. Did a few walks in the Central Otago high country.

And then.............I bought a DUCATI. :rockon: The kids are adolescent teens and love it - well except for one daughter who refuses to get on it. :angry: Her loss.

So. Frankly I don't think you'd sell the Aprilia for enough to make a real difference but only you can decide that. But if you do, there is always another bike.

I've still got my R80 cos I have an affection for it but in hindsight, should have sold it years ago. It was a background worry on my plate - insurance, storage, deterioration etc.

Mom

6th July 2009, 18:05

I will take the negative here, sometimes you have to do what you have to do. While you can always make time to go for a ride on your bike you dont very often. Your last years mileage proves that. You obviously want to spend time with your family.

Speaking as a mother who is down to one baby left at home, and probably only for a few more months the time goes by very quickly. As a 2nd time married woman I can tell you your relationship with your wife should also take precedence over your bike.

I love my bike (patheically so some might say) but if it was a toss up between spending time with my young children and riding my bike, guess which would win?

Bikes are easy to buy any time. You get one go at your babies.

Kiwi Graham

6th July 2009, 18:15

Its a tough decision mate but..... toys come and go and come again. Your kids are only kids once enjoy them now before you become un-cool ;)
If time is so tight to split between them, its a no brainer. However if taking it of the road throwing a blanky over it and sticking it in the back of the man cave for a few years/seasons going to solve the dilema choose that.
Good luck

caseye

6th July 2009, 18:45

17 yrs ago, the wife sold her 21st present from me, it was a 1959 Morrie minor, I sold my GS850G ( kitted to the max) we had our three daughters and until 18 months ago I didn't ride again.
Now the wife has a 2008 bike and I have a 1981 one.
Wouldn't sell it for quids, but although we both sold something we loved and we put our time and effort into the girls, we probably could have kept the toys.
These days I take my daughters out for a ride with me and in 6 months or so the wife will be able to do the same.
We probably didn't have to sell and I don't think it would have made much difference to how we raised our teenage kids becausae we were always going to put the time into their things and their needs well before our own.
Room is a factor, got enough to park the bike up and park their bikes beside it?
Money is another, could you just go get another or partime job and pay for the necessities that way?
This is your decision, no one can make it for you,but it sounds like your wife may have already given you the answer.
Go enjoy your kids, sell if you have too.

shafty

6th July 2009, 19:33

A bike will get you through a time of no money better than money will get you through a time of no bike, everytime....

Conquiztador

6th July 2009, 19:38

I sold my Shovel many years ago as there was family, wife and business. We needed the money and I did not really have time to ride. So she went.

Then 3 years later so did my wife. So there I was with no bike and no wife and financial struggle.

I then started picking up cheap bikes and fixing up so I had something to ride. Sometimes only a dirt bike, but never w/o a bike. The times I was able to ride was when the boys were with ex. So every second w/e I got some riding in.

No I am not suggesting that you get rid of the wife (even if it would give you free w/e's...). But to spend the money from the bike on day to day living costs will kill you. You will have nothing for it.

My suggestion:
- Keep the bike.
- Agree on times you can ride. For example a w/e away to a rally, to a track day etc. Perhaps once a month?
- Give wife a day a month to spend doing what she wants and you focus fully on the kids. (I know when my ex has the kids they get 100% focus from her and do stuff I dont as I do the "day to day" stuff).
- Do a budget and stick to it!

Good luck!

Grahameeboy

6th July 2009, 19:38

YellowDog

6th July 2009, 20:08

Hey Mashman, sorry to hear about your predicament.

Only you know the right thing to do.

All I would say is that you have quite a new and valuable bike that you could sell and get something less financially demanding.

OR you will need to replace the escapism of biking with something else less expensive. Not easy!

crazyhorse

6th July 2009, 20:18

Its not about how many km's you do in a year. Its about the enjoyment it gives you - even if you only get out on it once a month.

My kids were 5 and 7 when I first starting riding. They thought it was cool having a mum who rode a bike, and we went on occassional holidays on the bikes too.

If in doubt - don't! Unless financially you have to sell, otherwise, does it matter if you don't ride it as often as you like? Palm the kids off occassionally and take your wife for a ride.

Don't lose sight of your dream. You have worked hard to get what you want. Its a part of your life, like your family.

Good luck with your decision

Paul in NZ

6th July 2009, 20:31

Gah - we all face this....

Look - IF it is your dream bike AND you can afford to do without the coin, chuck it in the corner after preseving it and it will wait untill the time is right - however, be warned, you WILL change and it won't... If you have a doubt, pass it on and maybe just get a little fun bike (trail bike??) that you can do up with the kids etc and have a laugh with.

However, Big Dave is right, family first and frankly the right investment now (time mainly) will result in a massive pay back later, it's just common sense. NEVER let a machine come between you and yours...

cowpatz

6th July 2009, 21:45

Have the kids sell chocolate after school, car washes on the weekends and your wife could always get that second job.......she needs the social contact.
The answer is very simple...ask yourself why did you have kids? For what purpose? To rob you of time and money or to enjoy? Try and get by without selling it (there is always evening rides in summer when the kids are in bed if time is the issue or ride every second weekend) and if you have to sell it, well then out it goes.

Big Dave

6th July 2009, 21:57

I sold my XS1100 and bought a Camry.

The payback is when they start bringing boyfriends & girlfriends home and you can tell the baby stories. :stoogie:

davebullet

6th July 2009, 22:22

Sell it only if you absolutely need the money.

I am lucky in that my bike is a luxury. I only bought it when I knew I didn't need the money. If an emergency comes up (eg. kid needs a $50k operation) - that's what I'll mortgage the house for.

Do not sell it out of guilt for your kids. If you spend quality time with them, they won't miss Dad for 2 hours in a weekend for a ride.

Your kids have to accept and see you have a life of your own. I am not here to be a 110% parent, give my all and have nothing for myself and my partner when the kids leave home. I have a life as well - and it must be shared - not owned by the kids.

cold comfort

6th July 2009, 23:25

Don't sell it dude. Houses and family are a sponge. Once it's gone you willl be looking to sell something else and your sacrifice will be soon forgotten. My regrets are that i ever sold ANYTHING. Over time it would have been more economical and the things i sold (ie Kawasaki 900) would be worth heaps more. Just my 2c worth

helenoftroy

7th July 2009, 00:25

Its not about how many km's you do in a year. Its about the enjoyment it gives you - even if you only get out on it once a month........

Of course kids and families come first but it depends how much you love bikes and riding

Bikes had been a major part of my life from 13 yrs old till i was 28 & very pregnant with my first born,the Xl500 was gone...

It was 17 years before I had a bike again,and it was only then that I realised how much riding means to me,this is it!!Nothing else does it for me like riding bikes:woohoo:

If we had just had an old dirtbike...anything!!that I could have just had a blast down the river bed on every month or two.....I truely believe that the ups and downs of life would have been easier to cope with.

Only you can decide....just my 2 c worth!!;)

Highlander

7th July 2009, 00:35

Only you can decide....just my 2 c worth!!;)

That is it in a nutshell.
Only you know your situation.

You have got to do what you think is right for you and your family here and now.

I had 12 years between bikes when our kids were young. Equally sure I wasn't the first and you wont be the last.

MaxB

7th July 2009, 01:00

My old man gave some good advice when I was young. Never get rid of the bike when you have to, only when you want to.

I have never been with out a bike but some times it was really tough going. Especially the guilt. When my kids were young and the missus was at home with them we had nothing to spare at the end of each week. I remember my Dad shouting a tank of gas because if I had the cash it would be spent on the kids.

Then less than 12 months later I got a job with overtime, the missus went back to work part time and things got so much easier and somehow we got the deposit for a house. The bike stayed. And got its own garage.

K'Bers with kids will understand what you are going through and whatever you decide will say good on ya.

mashman

7th July 2009, 12:02

The jury is back... I'm keeping the Prila... A big thanks for all of your empathy and sympathy, irrespective of how bluntly (factual) it was conveyed... Pretty much everyone on here seemed to write down what I was thinking and that underpinned that the thought process going on at home was spot on... Fortunately this was not a financial decision or it would have been an absolute no brainer and the Prila would be for sale for silly money...

I was never worried about how much of a return I would receive if I sold her (unlike the wife, not the return on the wife as was suggested), because it would have been going to a good cause... It would have been nice to take the kids to Oz to see Koalas (3 girls, 6, 3, and 18 months... but we can do that after the mortgage comes down in October or we sell the house.. but one day)...

Anyhoo... this problem really turned out to be an eye opener... The main driver behind the selling of the bike was for the kids... as it turns out it looks like i've been treating the Prila as one of the family... albeit a distant relative... I found myself, at some point last week, climbing out of the cage and trailing my fingers along the length of the Prila and it kind of filled me with a guilt for the bike... WTF, it's a piece of machinery... er, er, ah well... It's a bike that deserves to be ridden and i didn't want to hurt her feelings... better to have loved and lost maybe (hmmmmm)... pass her on to pastures new... but as so many of you have pointed out, it's a bike that won't care if i'm on it or not... Shit! i feel kinda pathetic looking back at what kicked this off and how simple the answer was...

My kids will never want for my time, money or love... just seemed like the Prila was in the way of that, where in reality it was just me complicating the issue...

When i get time i'll ride if i want to, when i don't, I won't... fuck me why couldn't i work that out ha ha ha ha...

Big thanks again, hugs of gratitude to the girls and manly mumblings of appreciation to the boys...

Cheers Gordon

Cajun

7th July 2009, 12:05

cool Gordon

We gonna pop down your way again soon, will catch up again.

martybabe

7th July 2009, 12:07

I don't have an answer for you, just some more things to consider and BTW I feel your anguish.

1. A Bastardised poem

I hope that my child, looking back on today
Remembers a Father who had time to play
A child will grow up while you're out riding
Be a father that's there, not a Father in hiding
So quiet down Engine:Bike go to sleep, I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep...

2. Or...I sold my Harley, because we needed the money and bought a Suzuki at a third of the cost, planing to get a Hog when finances picked up. The Suzy is probably a better bike in every measurable way but it's not my Harley, a bike I longed for, saved up for and made my own. Due to financial circumstances beyond my control, I doubt I will have another one to replace it any time soon and that I regret.

Good luck

Edit: I wrote this before you posted your decision, I see my timing is off as always. Onya mate, enjoy your bike and your family. :niceone:

Pussy

7th July 2009, 12:47

Good one, Gordon!

Lloyd is organising a track day at Manfeild on December 7.... see you there!

mashman

7th July 2009, 14:03

shafty

7th July 2009, 15:31

Congrats.

Even having one in the shed gives great pride of ownership and a reply for when your wife is asked "What does Gordon do in his spare time away from the family"

Well done :woohoo:

helenoftroy

8th July 2009, 00:21

.......................

My kids will never want for my time, money or love... just seemed like the Prila was in the way of that, where in reality it was just me complicating the issue...

When i get time i'll ride if i want to, when i don't, I won't... fuck me why couldn't i work that out ha ha ha ha...

Big thanks again, hugs of gratitude to the girls and manly mumblings of appreciation to the boys...

Cheers Gordon

Thats great!!!

Pleased youve made a decision :yes: