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View Full Version : Revenge on a Dirty Wellingtonian



Fatt Max
8th July 2009, 13:25
Had to get my fat behind down to Wellington yesterday on a rush job. I did see a lot of happy bikers while in the taxi on my way from the airport to the job, great to see really.

Anyroad upwards, got stuck in, got the job sorted and thought I would have a bite to eat at the shopping mall across the road before heading back to the airport. After the nose bag I went to the bog and while I was washing my hands, this 40 ish guy walks in coughing and sneezing all over the place.

He negated to cover up when he did this so his fecking germs were going everywhere, so I subtlety moved 2 sinks away and kept my distance.

So, he’s moosing away into the sink and then starts running the tap. I can hear him making a load of grunting noises and huffing and puffing, and in the mirror I see him whip out his false teeth, run them under the tap and then put them on the side of the sink. He then disappeared into a cubicle and I heard the lid drop down and the ‘jingle jangle’ of a belt loosining, so he was in for a number 2. 10 seconds later and I hear the classic ‘Plop Plop Faarrttt’ of a man rolling a classic darkie.

So, couldn’t help myself really, I grabbed his teeth and went into the cubicle next door, dropped my tweeds and gave them a good rub up and down in the sweatiest part of my hairy brain, right between the two knackers. Gave them a good old one-two just to make sure they were well coated in klinkers. Finished off by plucking out a pube and slotting it between two of the teeth.

I hear the bog paper in his cubicle getting a turn and the flush going so I quickly zip up and return to the sink, leaving the tainted teeth where I found them. He comes out of the bog, doesn’t bother to wash his hands, spits a huge grolley into the sink….then pops his teeth back in….fecking classic, this dirty bastard now has a set of teeth that have been rubbed around the sweaty nads of a fat biker along with a nasty pube stuck right where you don’t want it.

Sounds harsh I know, but this guy decided on spreading his germs all over the place, and as for the greeny in the sink, that’s just not right.

So, who ever you are, I hope the slight saltiness of your hampsteads didn’t cause you too much trouble as you rustled with a holy hair on the bus home…you filthy git…!!

Mully
8th July 2009, 13:35
You're a strange one, Max.

Blackshear
8th July 2009, 13:36
Can you please have my babies?
I can't stand people who walk around coughing down your throat.

sinfull
8th July 2009, 13:44
Define a claytons rimming !

Murray
8th July 2009, 14:16
Why didnt you just ask him for a blow job instead of pretending he was giving you one??????

Fatt Max
8th July 2009, 14:17
Why didnt you just ask him for a blow job instead of pretending he was giving you one??????

Because he had a cold and probably wouldnt swallow....come on man....

rosie631
8th July 2009, 14:19
OMG that's just friggin sick. LMAO

ajturbo
8th July 2009, 14:41
well done max!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tri boy
8th July 2009, 14:54
a real biker would of ran them past his/her bullet hole.
Great for scratching external piles with.

Flynn
8th July 2009, 15:02
Classic:laugh::whistle:

Swoop
8th July 2009, 15:04
We do not hear enough about clinkers these days. Has a cure been found?

Anyway Sir Max. Do you know that you are available at mitre10? (http://www.mitre10.co.nz/gift_cards_gift_ideas/stanley_fatmax_toolbox_24in_fatmax_276796.cfm?dept =0&subdept=0&sid=4&rid=19)

Hitcher
8th July 2009, 15:05
I think Snopes will have a post on this quite soon.

Laxi
8th July 2009, 15:28
another entertaining story max:niceone: and I thought whats can he do after the "crapped my pants" episode:no:

UberRhys
8th July 2009, 16:02
Hehehe... :killingme:killingme:killingme:rofl::rofl::rofl:

I hope you don't catch something from his teeth... :Oops:

Moral of this story is keep your teeth in when your backing one out, oh and be hygenic...

mashman
8th July 2009, 17:02
fuckin superb... you reap what you sew... or weave between two teeth as is the case in this instance...

Supermac Jr
8th July 2009, 17:42
LMAO........twice

Sparky Bills
8th July 2009, 17:51
So now you have a party story to tell...

Long story short.
You were in a public rest room, A guy came in and you started rubbing his oral chompers up and down your meat and Vege. Then he left with an odd taste in his mouth and you didnt even say thankyou.

Hmmmmmm you may want to adjust the story depending on your crowd :yes:

paturoa
8th July 2009, 19:24
Are there any (new) large puss filled sores on your jewels.....?

If so try washing them with a good mouth wash - that may work.