Fitted sheets

[smokiesam]

Ever tried folding a fitted sheet.

Answer why try found the perfect home for it on the way out of the garage. It covers the Hornet perfectly.

Can’t wait to see her indoors when she gets home and parks her car.

[Maha]

One draw-back, is when your mates notice the stains.....:clap:

[Highlander]

Really living dangerously now.
There are calculated risks and stupid risks, me thinks this is rapidly aproaching the second option.

[smokiesam]

Oops the chain a bit oily its going to have to stay there now. Your advise was a little slow in coming. It seemed funny at the time.

[jono035]

Oops the chain a bit oily its going to have to stay there now. Your advise was a little slow in coming. It seemed funny at the time.

Anyone know if there is a facepalm smiley?

[Highlander]

Anyone know if there is a facepalm smiley?

Try this one:


:slap:

Or you could use :bash: or :girlfight: or even :spanking: probably all apply.

[jono035]

Try this one:


:slap:

Ahhh, excellent, didn't see it in the list the first time through, cheers.


Oops the chain a bit oily its going to have to stay there now. Your advise was a little slow in coming. It seemed funny at the time.

:slap:

[smokiesam]

Thats right beat me up. Do you think I'm going to get kisses and cuddles once I hear the dreaded garage door opening

[jono035]

Thats right beat me up. Do you think I'm going to get kisses and cuddles once I hear the dreaded garage door opening

Well, that's a good point. You're in for enough of a hiding without us pitching in :D best of luck mate.

[Highlander]

Thats right beat me up. Do you think I'm going to get kisses and cuddles once I hear the dreaded garage door opening

Depends on if you meet her at the door with a glass of wine in your hand (for her) or if you finished it all the other night when you put your heated grips on!!

[steve_t]

You just need to tell us that it's your only fitted sheet for your bed and that it's 1000 thread count egyptian cotton or something :niceone:

[Gubb]

She also won't approve of you using the oven to dry your newly painted fairings.

DAMHIK.

[Ms Piggy]

Ever tried folding a fitted sheet.

Answer why try found the perfect home for it on the way out of the garage. It covers the Hornet perfectly.

Can’t wait to see her indoors when she gets home and parks her car.

Hah hah! What a great idea but me thinks you're gonna be in trouble!

[doc]

excuse my ignorance but WTF is a "Fitted sheet" ? :Pokey:

[Maha]

excuse my ignorance but WTF is a "Fitted sheet" ? :Pokey:

Scott elastic roun dit!!.....so it fits. (a matress, no tucking)

[Highlander]

excuse my ignorance but WTF is a "Fitted sheet" ? :Pokey:

They are the sheets that have the elastic sown into them so they billow like a parachute when you try to fold them. Designed to "fit" over the matress to make it easier to make the bed.

Apparently they make good bike covers too.

[doc]

They are the sheets that have the elastic sown into them so they billow like a parachute when you try to fold them. Designed to "fit" over the matress to make it easier to make the bed.

Apparently they make good bike covers too.


Scott elastic roun dit!!.....so it fits. (a matress, no tucking)

oh kaaay, din'dt know that we were suppost to no stuff like thit.

Faaark Maha is a Metrosexual. mmmm never new that.

[FJRider]

Thats right beat me up. Do you think I'm going to get kisses and cuddles once I hear the dreaded garage door opening

Only till she figures how badly she wants to maim you ... keep vital body parts protected. Is your life insurance up to date ... ???

[jono035]

Only till she figures how badly she wants to maim you ... keep vital body parts protected. Is your life insurance up to date ... ???

Everything went suspiciously quiet after steve_t posted asking if they were special sheets and if they had any spares....

My guess is they were special and there are no spares so he's made a run for the border.

Either that or hes already dead, it's even odds really...

[Little Miss Trouble]

You just need to tell us that it's your only fitted sheet for your bed and that it's 1000 thread count egyptian cotton or something :niceone:

Might I suggest all drama could all be averted by rushing out & buying a set of the above mentioned sheets before she arrives home?


Hell, it might even earn ya some brownie points ;)

[Fatt Max]

One draw-back, is when your mates notice the stains.....:clap:

Feckin' right mate. I have to change my sheets with a sledge hammer most days...

...and this morning, I fell out of bed and cracked my pyjamas, embarrasing I can tell you.....

[MotoKuzzi]

Any man who knows what a fitted sheet is should be regarded in the same light as Honda owners. :msn-wink:

[Fatt Max]

Hang on a minute though lads n lasses, lets think outside the square here....

If herself comes home, sees a fitted sheet over the bike, you may never know, she might get all juiced up and fancy a game of 'Hunt The Sausage' on the seat. The bike in question is well built for a touch of tandem rooting so it could be all go in the downstairs department....I mean, chicks love a well made bed for shagging in, so what's wrong with a well made bike.....

Take last weekend for example, I decorated the VL with a pair of my undies on the headlamp, my socks on the foot rests and a johnny on the exhaust, herself got in from the pub, took one look and got so happy-moisty that she just about slid off the sofa thinking about it...

Once you have had fat, you will NEVER look bak, eh...

So, do a monty python and look on the bright side, you may be in for some south-of-the-navel action on the strength of your new bike cover...

Right, where's my 15" black rubber cock, it's tea time....

[Virago]

Fitted sheets are over-rated. A deftly done hospital corner is a sight to behold...

[monkeymcbean]

I use sheets, for under the bike cover, not fitted thou, easier to through over and not have to fumble around in the dark making sure the fit bit is fitted over the bike. So what was the drama? Guess it would if you used ones that were in use for the original purpose...oh dear..i would say something like Richard Cranium

[klingon]

Might I suggest all drama could all be averted by rushing out & buying a set of the above mentioned sheets before she arrives home?


Hell, it might even earn ya some brownie points ;)

Aha. THAT is the correct answer. The only one.

I wonder what happened at the end of this story?

By the way, fitted sheets are easy to fold once you know how. My ex-army Dad had a special folding method - although I think it may be a military secret. No, they didn't use fitted sheets in the army, but he applied his need for sharp creases to the fitted sheets and did them perfectly every time.

My mother, on the other hand, used to scrunch them up and shove them in the back of the cupboard hoping he wouldn't notice. He would find them and re-fold them with perfect creases. Folding fitted sheets is a very masculine art IMO.

[sels1]

Everything went suspiciously quiet ...

Yeah...should we be sending out a search party?...calling the AOS...?

[Mom]

Fitted sheets are over-rated. A deftly done hospital corner is a sight to behold...

You know, I once spent an entire week learning how to perfect the hospital corner. True :yes: Woe betide you Mully Wuppy if you did not get it exactly right, the whole lot was whipped off the bed, and you started again. :spanking:

[jono035]

Yeah...should we be sending out a search party?...calling the AOS...?

Probably too late for that, time for the forensics team and a few shovels...

[Virago]

You know, I once spent an entire week learning how to perfect the hospital corner...

In a nurse's uniform?

Can you send some photos...? :innocent:

[Trudes]

Maybe it's a Hornet owner quirk.... I do the same thing.

[caseye]

Well he's GONE! poor bugger, what a silly thing to do, covering an oily chained bike with the wifes Best Fitted Sheet.
Oh well, next?
Anyone else got any tales that might end in murder?
Come on Sam, tell us what happened.

[Ixion]

Women just don't understand these things.

I am having a similar problem with Mrs Ixion at present. It has become imperative that I purchase a milling machine. A simple , yet essential item. Yet from her response (basically 'No way') you would think that I was suggesting something entirely frivolous.

And yet, she is entirely happy (and indeed actively suggests) to comtemplate spending money on boring and unnecessary stuff like freezers and dishwashers. We already HAVE a freeezer . And a dishwasher. But we DON'T have a milling machine.

The logic seems self evident to me. But not, apparently to her. Even showing her the blister on my palm, caused by have to file down fitments because I have no milling machine, did not elict the agreement that any reaonable person would expect.

Nor, without arousing domestic disharmony can I just quietly go and buy one

Mrs Ixion maintains a close and suspicious watch over the bank account. She seem to imagine that left to my own devices I would spend it all on bikes and tools. Which of course is silly. I would not spend it all on bikes and tools, there would need to be some for beer.

I haven't even dared to mention the TIG welder.

Women just don't understand financial prioritisation.

[MotoKuzzi]

Women just don't understand these things.

I am having a similar problem with Mrs Ixion at present. It has become imperative that I purchase a milling machine. A simple , yet essential item. Yet from her response (basically 'No way') you would think that I was suggesting something entirely frivolous.

And yet, she is entirely happy (and indeed actively suggests) to comtemplate spending money on boring and unnecessary stuff like freezers and dishwashers. We already HAVE a freeezer . And a dishwasher. But we DON'T have a milling machine.

The logic seems self evident to me. But not, apparently to her. Even showing her the blister on my palm, caused by have to file down fitments because I have no milling machine, did not elict the agreement that any reaonable person would expect.

Nor, without arousing domestic disharmony can I just quietly go and buy one

Mrs Ixion maintains a close and suspicious watch over the bank account. She seem to imagine that left to my own devices I would spend it all on bikes and tools. Which of course is silly. I would not spend it all on bikes and tools, there would need to be some for beer.

I haven't even dared to mention the TIG welder.

Women just don't understand financial prioritisation.

New curtains , duvets and sheets are more important than frivolous things like new tyres, clutch repairs etc. :argue:

[Swoop]

Faaark Maha is a Metrosexual. mmmm never new that.
TOP FACT: The word Metrosexual has nothing to do with having sex with trains.

...fitted sheets are easy to fold
Absolute bollocks. They are the work of the liarbour party & the debbil combined. Simply cannot be done.

[Mom]

In a nurse's uniform?

Can you send some photos...? :innocent:

I do have pics...

Only Maha gets to see them :bleh:

[Pussy]

Women just don't understand these things.

I am having a similar problem with Mrs Ixion at present. It has become imperative that I purchase a milling machine. A simple , yet essential item. Yet from her response (basically 'No way') you would think that I was suggesting something entirely frivolous.

And yet, she is entirely happy (and indeed actively suggests) to comtemplate spending money on boring and unnecessary stuff like freezers and dishwashers. We already HAVE a freeezer . And a dishwasher. But we DON'T have a milling machine.

The logic seems self evident to me. But not, apparently to her. Even showing her the blister on my palm, caused by have to file down fitments because I have no milling machine, did not elict the agreement that any reaonable person would expect.

Nor, without arousing domestic disharmony can I just quietly go and buy one

Mrs Ixion maintains a close and suspicious watch over the bank account. She seem to imagine that left to my own devices I would spend it all on bikes and tools. Which of course is silly. I would not spend it all on bikes and tools, there would need to be some for beer.

I haven't even dared to mention the TIG welder.

Women just don't understand financial prioritisation.

Mate, I'm going to have to spell it out for you!

Ever heard of Mother's Day? What about Mrs. Ixion's birthday, or Christmas?

Buy her a nice milling machine for any of the above occasions! Sorted! :niceone:

[jono035]

Women just don't understand these things.

I am having a similar problem with Mrs Ixion at present. It has become imperative that I purchase a milling machine. A simple , yet essential item. Yet from her response (basically 'No way') you would think that I was suggesting something entirely frivolous.

And yet, she is entirely happy (and indeed actively suggests) to comtemplate spending money on boring and unnecessary stuff like freezers and dishwashers. We already HAVE a freeezer . And a dishwasher. But we DON'T have a milling machine.

The logic seems self evident to me. But not, apparently to her. Even showing her the blister on my palm, caused by have to file down fitments because I have no milling machine, did not elict the agreement that any reaonable person would expect.

Nor, without arousing domestic disharmony can I just quietly go and buy one

Mrs Ixion maintains a close and suspicious watch over the bank account. She seem to imagine that left to my own devices I would spend it all on bikes and tools. Which of course is silly. I would not spend it all on bikes and tools, there would need to be some for beer.

I haven't even dared to mention the TIG welder.

Women just don't understand financial prioritisation.

Sounds like you need to be more creative with your accounting? I suggest a suck-fund type arrangement. Siphon off a little bit each week with something innocuous, then when the mill appears, act like it was there all along!

A mill is just one of those things. There are some jobs that you just cannot do without a mill.

Edit: OOOhhh hey, I like Pussy's idea of the Mother's-Day-Mill... Sounds brilliant. The TIG welder may have to wait till the mushroom cloud has cleared though. On the other hand, you can get those all-in-one AC/DC TIG/Arc/Plasma cutter units now, they look pretty damn useful...

[boman]

Mate, I'm going to have to spell it out for you!

Ever heard of Mother's Day? What about Mrs. Ixion's birthday, or Christmas?

Buy her a nice milling machine for any of the above occasions! Sorted! :niceone:

What a fantastic Idea. I can see it :spanking::spanking::Pokey::doctor:

[FJRider]

Mate, I'm going to have to spell it out for you!

Ever heard of Mother's Day? What about Mrs. Ixion's birthday, or Christmas?

Buy her a nice milling machine for any of the above occasions! Sorted! :niceone:

Just tell her all the things she could do around the house with a TIG welder ... :devil2:

[jafar]

New curtains , duvets and sheets are more important than frivolous things like new tyres, clutch repairs etc. :argue:

There speaks a true guzzi rider:clap:

[MotoKuzzi]

There speaks a true guzzi rider:clap:

Er, hope you haven't read my other post about men and fitted sheets then. :innocent: