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slofox
10th August 2009, 15:06
I was a passenger on the weekly cage trip to Auckland yesterday - a bit of a rarity for me....this is a little, light hearted observation list I would love to give my driver...(but am far too scared so to do)...:crazy:


1. It's was nice to see you fasten your seatbelt before we left. I realised why you did it as soon as we got onto the road and you floored it through your right angle turn onto the carriageway...and my head hit the left window. Lucky I had MY belt on as well, eh?

2. That first roundabout we came to....I wondered why you waited until that car came careering off the bridge before you pulled out in front of it...but I guessed you were trying to encourage him to lessen his speed huh? It was about then that I realised how useful those hold on thingies above the window were...and how white my knuckles could get...

3. I know we were running a little late...perhaps that was why, once we were on the highway, you followed so closely the car in front of us...although, he was going a little slowly wasn't he? I mean, who sits at 120km/hr these days anyway? And besides, that two second rule is for pussies...half a second should be more than enough reaction time...

4. When we came to that compulsory stop where we joined SH1...I guess you were testing the brakes out weren't you? Which would be why you approached the stop at full speed and only took your foot off the accelerator to slam the brakes on as hard as you could, just before the line. You car DOES have good brakes doesn't it? And my seat belt worked too...

5. The four lane bits really had me interested. For the life of me, I couldn't work out why you kept changing from left to right hand lanes when there was no other traffic around...still, I suppose driving in the same lane does get boring after a while....nothing like keeping interested...probably stops you falling asleep, yes?

6. The other one that intrigued me was why you would suddenly slam on the brakes when you were going along the highway apparently quite happily and there was no other car within miles...I suppose you might have been worried that you were going a little fast...I wondered why you didn't just lift your foot off the accelerator and let the speed just drift down...still, nothing like a little exercise to keep those brakes up to the mark I suppose...

7. Those little bumpy bits on the side of the road are really good eh? When you drive along on those you can be sure you are not in the ditch! And I don't suppose it matters that your fillings fall out of your teeth because of the vibration...it should certainly shake any loose bits off your car anyway...

8. I know they are not as good, but the cats eye thingies between the lanes are a bit like the bumpy bits as well. I was a little worried on the South Western Motorway when you used them to make sure you were in the right hand lane...from my side of the car I could see the terror in the eyes of the guy driving beside you in the left hand lane...but then, I always was a worry wart, wasn't I. And that guy beside you did take evasive action each time he saw you drifting onto the bumps...good way to keep him away huh?

Thanks for being the driver. I appreciated it. The doctor said my knuckles will get their normal colour back in a few days...

MIXONE
10th August 2009, 15:11
You shouldn't let your 5 year old granchild drive then eh.

CookMySock
10th August 2009, 15:13
You should have thrown his handbag out the window.. and all his music cassettes. While you're at it, pull the knobs off his FM radio and hiff them them too.

Don't tolerate people doing dangerous shit when you're a passenger. Tell them to SLOW THE FUCK DOWN.

Steve

slofox
10th August 2009, 15:15
She, Steve, SHE...

Murray
10th August 2009, 15:23
So who drove home?? Were you the perfect gentleman and offered to??

CookMySock
10th August 2009, 16:12
She, Steve, SHE...AHHHHHH.





I didn't anything..

Steve

klingon
10th August 2009, 16:27
OMG I didn't know you knew the woman who drove me up north a few months ago! Just goes to show the 2-degrees thing is true!

In addition to all of the above, she also tailgated the car in front for great distances on a twisty bit of road where they had no safe place to pull over and let us past. So the driver of the front car resorted to flashing their brakelights to tell our driver to back off. You should have heard the stream of expletives coming from our driver's mouth - "what the f***ing f**** are they trying to kill us?!" but being a person of great perseverance, she just followed them closer from then on! :eek:

slofox
10th August 2009, 17:00
So who drove home?? Were you the perfect gentleman and offered to??

Of COURSE I offered...but was refused...

steve_t
10th August 2009, 18:19
LOL... you gonna do it all again next week? :shit:

stig
10th August 2009, 22:07
It was about then that I realised how useful those hold on thingies above the window were...

their not called the 'Holy Shit!' handles for nothing :shit:

slofox
12th August 2009, 14:09
LOL... you gonna do it all again next week? :shit:

We take MY car next weekend....:oi-grr:


their not called the 'Holy Shit!' handles for nothing :shit:

:killingme: hehehe I wondered what they were called....

Danae
16th August 2009, 16:04
their not called the 'Holy Shit!' handles for nothing :shit:

Also known as "Jesus Bars"

As in... "JESUS CHRIST!!!!"

Creeping Death
16th August 2009, 16:28
7. Those little bumpy bits on the side of the road are really good eh? When you drive along on those you can be sure you are not in the ditch! And I don't suppose it matters that your fillings fall out of your teeth because of the vibration...it should certainly shake any loose bits off your car anyway...



Farkin' brilliant!My bitch does the same thing when I doze off!:niceone: