Motorcycle misquotes and uvers

[Mystic13]

We've all heard the mis-quotes of famous quotes like;

People in glass houses shouldn't throw black kettles.

So what mis-quotes have you heard or can you create and how about using a motorcycle theme to the mis-quote. We'd build a pool of useful motorcycle themed mis-quotes for the world to enjoy.

"People in glass houses shouldn't ride motorcycles"

"People in glass houses shouldn't throw motorcycle helmets"

"Like a motorcycle (rider) in a china shop"

[Mystic13]

You could also just post up quotes for people to manipulate like

"As useless as tits on a bull"

"Sticks like wet shit to a blanket"

"The early bird gets the worm"

"Too many cooks spoil the broth"

[TOTO]

"The faster you go, the faster you go"

[The Pastor]

when in doubt, power out.

too many cocks spoil the broth!

[Maha]

Look before you Loop.
The rain in Spain falls mainly on motorbikes.

[modboy]

When it's not on, it's still on!

[Mystic13]

A motorcycle divided cannot be ridden.

[Mystic13]

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a motorcycle.

A (motorcycle) ride a day keeps the doctor away.

Behind every great man there's a motorcycle.

Better to have owned a motorcycle and lost it than to have never owned one at all.

Better to have had a motorcycle licence and lost it than to have never had one at all.

___________________

Phrases I can't adapt yet...

As dead as a doornail. (I want to replace doornail with an appropriate motorcycle "d" word and not Ducati. I want to keep the phrases generalised and supportive of bikes and brands.)

[vifferman]

As dead as a dunger?

[been_there]

"If its to be then its up to me"

"No means no"

lets see some addition to these

[been_there]

A one-eyed tar snake

[Taz]

"motorcycles are cheap transport........."

[bogan]

no matter where you go, there ur bike is

[vonstringer]

A rolling bike gathers no moss.

[vonstringer]

Where there's smoke there's a two stroke.

[avgas]

That Triumph "leaks" character.
What a lovely Bultaco.
Counter Steering is......

[DarkLord]

Veni, Vidi, V-Twin

I came, I saw..... I rumbled :devil2:

[Boob Johnson]

We ride on to the end, we shall ride in France,
we shall ride on the seas and oceans,
we shall ride with growing confidence and growing strength in the air,
we shall ride around our Island, whatever the cost may be,
we shall ride on the beaches,
we shall ride on the landing grounds,
we shall ride in the fields and in the streets,
we shall ride in the hills;
we shall never surrender..............our motorcycles



:laugh:

[vonstringer]

If you can't stand the heat, fit an oil cooler.

[vonstringer]

Curiosity killed the Katana.

[vifferman]

A rolling bike gathers no moss.
A rolling bike gathers no moles.
Except, perhaps, if it's a cruiser...
(Or is that "a screwzer" :confused:)

[vonstringer]

The best things in life have two wheels.

[vonstringer]

The proof of the motorcycle is in the riding.

[vifferman]

If you can't stand the heat, fit an oil cooler.
If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the cop car.

[vonstringer]

Two is company, three is a Trident.

[TOTO]

Knowledge talks, wisdom listens, gods ride motorbikes.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me for listening to you when I can be riding ma bike.

[Mystic13]

Wow there are some seriously great quotes in here.

[Mystic13]

Where there's smoke there's a two stroke.

A rolling bike gathers no moss.


Damn they're good. Actually many of yours are as well as Boob Johnson's misquoted bit of history.

I wonder if Martin Luther Kings "I have a dream" speech will adapt well.

[Boob Johnson]

Damn they're good. Actually many of yours are as well as Boob Johnson's misquoted bit of history.

I wonder if Martin Luther Kings "I have a dream" speech will adapt well.
On an ever so slight digression, Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill's famous speech was actually done voiced by an actor. Winny was quoted as saying "im faaarr to busy to do it, get someone else" :laugh:

[Mystic13]

He who can, rides a motorcycle, he who can't, drives a car.

[skidMark]

You could also just post up quotes for people to manipulate like

"As useless as tits on a bull"

"Sticks like wet shit to a blanket"

"The early bird gets the worm"

"Too many cooks spoil the broth"

Hondas...

"As useless as tits on a bull"

"Sticks like wet shit to a blanket"

[Mystic13]

Many are called, but few are chosen to ride.

[Mystic13]

"I'll offer him a motorcycle he can't refuse"

[Mystic13]

The early rider gets the empty roads.

[Boob Johnson]

The early rider gets the empty roads.
Noice! :Punk:

[skidMark]

The rider with t3h chicken strips looses t3h street cred:2guns:

[Big Dave]

Empty vessels make the longest Skidmarks.

[skidMark]

Empty vessels make the longest Skidmarks.



tall people have thier wheels on the outside of the corner with thier helmet in the other lane :done:

[vonstringer]

Diesel comes before a fall.

[vonstringer]

A gear change in time saves embarrassing over-revving.

[Mystic13]

"Carpe Ducati"

[Mystic13]

- A motorcycle is worth a thousand words.

- (Mate, you made it) by the skin of your leathers

- Like using a GSXR to win a bucket race. (like using a sledgehammer to crack a nut)

- That's a bit like a Harley-Davidson calling Ducati a motorcycle (pot calling the kettle black)

- You are what you ride.

- You can't get blood out of a motorcycle.

- A motorcycle by any other name would smell as sweet.

[Mystic13]

It occurs to me we have;

Phrases from TV etc which can be utilised.

Phrases from Kiwiana that can be utilised.

_____________

Riding - Just Do It.

Can't think of any others at the moment but if you know of a few pop them up for someone to tackle.

Cheers.

[slofox]

- You can't get blood out of a motorcycle.



...but a motorcycle can get blood out of you....

[Big Dave]

A Hitch in time saves *@#%!

[90s]

Damn they're good. Actually many of yours are as well as Boob Johnson's misquoted bit of history.

I wonder if Martin Luther Kings "I have a dream" speech will adapt well.

OK, someones might do a short humourous version, but here's the full thing/thingy.

As said on the launch of Kiwibiker ...

I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history
as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of the motor bike.

Over five score years the great emancipators, BSA, Harley-Davidson, Moto-Guzzi, Ducati, Honda, Suzuki and Kawasaki, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, have brought us their products. This has come as a great beacon of hope to millions of car-slaves, who had been seared in the flames of whithering unconditioned vinyl interiors. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity in traffic jams. But one hundered years later, the biker is still not free. One hundred years later, the life of the biker is still sadly crippled by the manacle of segregation and the cheese-cutting chains of discrimination and traffic fines.

One hundred years later, the biker lives on a lonely island of indifference in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity for the car owner. One hundred years later, the biker is still languishing in the corners of society and finds himself an exile in his own land So we have come here today to
dramatize a shameful condition.

In a sense we have come to to cash a check. When the architects of our government wrote the magnificent words of the road code they were signing a promissory note to which every biker was to fall heir.

This note was a promise that all men, yes, biker men as well as car men, would be guaranteed to the inalienable rights of life liberty and the pursuit of happiness (but not for scooter riders), access to roads and parking.

It is obvious today that this has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her bikers concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, the government has given its bikers people a bad check, and a bad rep; a check that has come back marked "insufficient funds" - "insufficient funds" to fund safe cager training, "insufficient funds" to replace the deadly cheesecutter, "insufficient funds" not to need to fine us off the roads.

But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity to replace the cheesewire. So we have come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and security of justice.

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment and to underestimate the determination of it's motor-biking citizens. This sweltering summer will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality where we all have some great rides. 2009 is not an end but a beginning. Those who hope that the bikers needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to
business as usual. Which it might well do after we have blown off some steam on this here forum. As usual.

There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the biker is granted his full rights (unless see above). The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations ofour nation until the bright day of justice emerges (or not). Maybe Bronz might do something.

We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, especially the sport-bike riders, the tourers a little less so, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities, because of poor bike security. I imagine the 2-smokers might be very unrested if they have come a long way.

We cannot be satisfied as long as the biker's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one, unless there's really good twisties on that journey.

We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their selfhood and robbed of their dignity by signs stating "no bikers"

No, no we are not satisfied and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty
stream.

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of your dangerous driving trials and tribulations. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by storms of persecutions and staggered by the winds of police brutality.

You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive (ed. note. check for accuracy).

Go back to Wellington, go back to Auckland, go back to South Auckland go back to West Auckland, go back to that South Island place, go back to the slums and ghettos of our Christchurch, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed.

Let us not wallow in the valley of dispair. I say to you, my friends, we have the difficulties of today and tommorrow.

I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the biking dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will saddle up and live out the true meaning of its creed. We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal, although some bikes are clearly better than others. In fact scratch that earlier bit, bikers are better than others.

I have a dream that one day out in the hills of the Waitakeres the sons of former sport-bike riders and the sons of former cruiser-riders will be
able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood with some traffic cops, and maybe sort them out a little bit.

I have a dream that one day even Christchurch, a city sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice, although I am not holding my breath on that one.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by what they ride, but by how they ride.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day down in Hamilton, with its vicious speed cops, that one day right down in Hamilton little biker boys and biker girls will be able to join hands with little cager boys and cager girls as sort-of understairs inferior sisters and brothers, but family none-the-less.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall sealed, every hill shall be s-bended and every mountain shall be into a series of long straights, chicanes and switch-backs, the rough places will be for motor-x and the crooked places will be made even more wind-y, and the glory of the motorbike (not scooters) shall be revealed and all shall see it together, and want to ride real bad.

This is our hope. This is the faith that I will ride away with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope.

With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphomy of exhaust-pipe brotherhood.

With this faith we will be able to work together, ride together, learn basic repairs together such as simple oil changes, to struggle together, to go to jail together (although this should be optional), to climb up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

And if we are to be a great nation, this must become true. So let freedom ring from the hilltops of the waikato. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of Southern Alps.

Let freedom ring from the heightening Rimutakas.

Let freedom ring from the snow-capped Mt Cook.

Let freedom ring from the curvacious slopes of miss Hamilton 2009 (is this right? Ed.)

But not only that, let freedom, ring from Police central.

Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill and beehive of Wellington and every mountainside.

When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every tenement and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, bikers and cagers, sport-bike riders and Cruisder riders, dirt-bikers and tourers (not scooter riders) will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old spiritual, "Free at last, free at last. Thank God Almighty, we are free at last. Now get our motors running, head out on the highway, looking for adventure, our whatever comes our way ..."

[Hitcher]

You can drive a horse to drink but you can't make it water.

[Mystic13]

OK, someones might do a short humourous version, but here's the full thing/thingy.

Martin Luther King - I have a dream (for riders)



I was thinking an excerpt of a key phrase not the whole speech.

Oddly enough reading it the damned thing seemed so true. We are oppressed.

Changes I'd suggest are America to New Zealand, checks to cheques, and please include scooter riders. They're bikers to. And a heading at the top like I created because it took me a while to figure out what was going on.

Vote - for longest post.

Well done.

[Mystic13]

You can drive a horse to drink but you can't make it water.

- You can ride an iron horse to drink, but you can't make it water.

(Shoot what's the original - You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink)

I never thought about switching the phrase around. That may fix some i was stuck on.

- You can lead Hitcher to water but you can't make him drink. :shifty:

[Hitcher]

There's no point shutting the gargre door after the iron horse has.

[Boob Johnson]

WALL OF TEXT
Arrrrrrrggggggghhhhhh!!!!! :blink:

[90s]

Arrrrrrrggggggghhhhhh!!!!! :blink:

Thanks Boob.

Anyway, for those who read it (and it is a great speach which does apply to us for which I now claim credit) I did change 'America' or references to the US to NZ in 84 places, and missed it only once.

Oh, and I like scooter riders, but in a famous speech about inclusion it is simply funny to victimise one group. And I choose that group by a completely fair and random process (namely that it was funnier).

[rocketman1]

There was a young biker named Kent
Who's tool was incredibly bent
To save himself trouble, he shoved it in double.
Instead of coming, he went.

Cant think what tool it was though!!!

[Nagash]

Abraham Lincoln:

"Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them."

"Common looking bikes are the best in the world: that is the reason the manufacturer makes so many of them."


Winston Churchill:

"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. "

"A cager sees the difficulty in every detour; a rider sees the opportunity"

[Nagash]

"Although personally I am quite content with existing bikes, I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement."

"Do not let spacious plans for new bikes divert your energies from saving what is left of the old ones. "

"Every biker has his ride and some rides last longer than others."

"Boyraces have all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."

"If the Almighty were to rebuild the motorbike and asked me for advice, I would have Yoshi exhaust and Ohlins suspension on every bike. And the atmosphere would be such that anything which attempted to fly would be set on fire."

[BMWST?]

A bike in time leads to nine

[Mikkel]

A hoon a day keeps maturity away.

One bike between your thighs is better than ten in the garage.

He who can, rides. He who can’t, preaches.

Money can’t buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant ride.

Patience is not a virtue, it is a waste of time.

Haste makes demerit points.

[mctshirt]

Absence makes the fart go Honda!

On my bike...united we stand, divided we bin.

Less haste or more demerit points.

All bikes are equal but some bikes are more equal than others....

[vonstringer]

They shoot Nortons, don't they.

[Bounce001]

Great bikes think alike

[jetboy]

Bikes, bikes the magical fun,
the more you ride the more you........


:devil2:

[klingon]

It occurs to me we have;

Phrases from TV etc which can be utilised.

Phrases from Kiwiana that can be utilised.

...

What did Sir Ed say when he failed to give way? :blink:

[Ollie.T]

What did Sir Ed say when he failed to give way? :blink:

"Well, George, we knocked the bastard off"!!!!

[klingon]

"Well, George, we knocked the bastard off"!!!!

You got it, Ollie! :done:

[Mystic13]

- Motorcycling is the best medicine.

- He who rides last, rides longest.

- The slower bike gets the longer ride.

- No Suzuki's please, we're British.

- Head down and throttle on.

- I came, I saw, I ride a motorcycle.

[Bounce001]

Hell has no fury like a pre-unit scorned.

[vonstringer]

If at first you don't succeed, try the decompression lever.

[avgas]

If she ain't smoking somethings a broken.

Brakes like a handful of marshmallows

British Standard Alignment

[Mystic13]

What Lao Tzu would say if he were alive today.


"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single motorcycle."

[Mystic13]

"Motorcycling IS everything"

[Mystic13]

What about misquoted bumper stickers or new ones for riding.

"if you love leather...

get a motorbike"



"Love is...

a motorbike and winding road"



"motorbike riding

for people with PASSION"

[EJK]

"Das Motorrad"

[Mystic13]

“I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”

Robert Frost.

"Motorcycle riders take the road less traveled,..."

"Motorcycle riders take the road less traveled, and that makes all the difference."

[Mystic13]

Car drivers experience the world through a bubble. Motorcycle riders experience the world with all their senses.

[Mystic13]

I know this quote is completely unrelated but I just heard it and ...

It was in reference to short man syndrome or short people who walk around with a chip on their shoulder.

"you know why that is?"

"no"

"It's because they're the last to know it's raining and the first to drown."

I just thought the quote was well put together.

[javawocky]

To V-twin, or not to V-twin...

It was the best of rides, it was the worst of rides

The love of motorcycles is the root of all wheelies

As flat as a Honda

Don't judge someone till you ride a mile on their bike

Oh what a wicked web we weave when we first practice to speed

Many hands make bike work

[Mystic13]

Never judge a Buell by it's cover.


Never judge a motorbike by it's badge.

[javawocky]

Never judge a Buell by it's cover.

Like a Buell in a china shop

Take the Buell by the horns

[javawocky]

If at first you don't succeed - try try GN :shit:

A fool and his motorbike are soon parted.

You can't teach an old Hog ... how to wave back!!!

[avgas]

Women are unreliable. Thank god for honda.
(poster on a wall)

Ditch the bitch, lets go racing
(pillion seat sticker)