Sexual postions?

[Sidewinder]

how many do you normaly use in one sitting?? and what do ya think is the best and the fastest way to please!
mmm this could be fun
up the poo no boo boo

[CookMySock]

best is when you both have hands free, ie not supporting yourselves. Anal is only good when shez reeeeeely horny, otherwise forget it. X position is good. Best game is "do anything, and get as horny as you like, but no one is allowed to cum." Never forget rule number one - five for her, one for you. When she goes off, never stop until she grabs you and throws you out the window. Learn how to do alphabets. Learn how to do triangles. Encourage her to take matters into her own hands. theres lots more..

edit: its not about "fast" its about "long".

Steve

[JimO]

best is when you both have hands free, ie not supporting yourselves. Anal is only good when shez reeeeeely horny, otherwise forget it. X position is good. Best game is "do anything, and get as horny as you like, but no one is allowed to cum." Never forget rule number one - five for her, one for you. When she goes off, never stop until she grabs you and throws you out the window. Learn how to do alphabets. Learn how to do triangles. Encourage her to take matters into her own hands. theres lots more..

edit: its not about "fast" its about "long".

Steve

you must be a stud.........or a dwang

[Sidewinder]

with out cuming?? shit you cant make her cum bro not the go.
something fun is to watch porn and try and copy everything they are doing

[nothingflash]

with out cuming?? shit you cant make her cum bro not the go.
something fun is to watch porn and try and copy everything they are doing

But not gay porn.

[Sidewinder]

But not gay porn.

unless you are keen that is lol:sick::sick::sick:

[Trudes]

Fuck! Just fuck, for fucks sake.;)

[martybabe]

Fuck! Just fuck, for fucks sake.;)

She's fucking right you know! Just do it and love it anyway you can :done:

[Sidewinder]

She's fucking right you know! Just do it and love it anyway you can :done:

30seconds spray and walk away

[ducatilover]

There are positions? Fuck....:shit:

[allycatz]

30seconds spray and walk away

Wow man of action...sex and a good nights sleep

[Argyle]

You mean mounting? hehe!

[Gareth51]

you must be a stud.........or a dwang

Thought it was a nog down your way

[Gareth51]

Wow man of action...sex and a good nights sleep

No it's on to the next depending on how many in the paddock

[mrchips]

Hard & fast, fcuk like a beast:buggerd:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Vt-6VKG2ow&feature=related

[Fatt Max]

I like the double bass myself,

Up the starfish while reaching round with both hands playing with the boobies and the mound of venus....ding ding ding.....

[Marknz]

If you're not fast, you're last... and who wants to come last?

:done:

[Her_C4]

If you're not fast, you're last... and who wants to come last?

:done:

Bejesus - it's not a race! :shutup::sunny:

[flyingcr250]

Bejesus - it's not a race! :shutup::sunny:

yes it is. SEX IS A RACE. AND I ALWAYS WIN:2guns:

[Naki Rat]

yes it is. SEX IS A RACE. AND I ALWAYS WIN:2guns:

You have much to learn grasshopper :mellow:

[Reckless]

You have much to learn grasshopper :mellow:

Love the tongue gif Naki Rat LOL!!!

Btw: its always your main weapon in the bedroom mmmmm

[Marknz]

Bejesus - it's not a race! :shutup::sunny:

It's not?

123456789

[Naki Rat]

Love the tongue gif Naki Rat LOL!!!

Btw: its always your main weapon in the bedroom mmmmm

Works for me :bleh:

[Her_C4]

It's not?

123456789

Bwaaahahaha.... Boys and their toys eh? :lol::wari:

[u4ea]

Fak I have a sad life if Im reading this thread :crybaby:

[Sketchy_Racer]

Come around to my place tonight Sidewinder and I will show you everything you'll ever need to know.

Just don't plan on walking tomorrow :sick:

[Number One]

Fuck! Just fuck, for fucks sake.;)
The wise woman has spoken ;)

[AllanB]

But how many of you can get your knees down eh?

Does begging count as a position?

[Tony.OK]

I normally start out fast then settle into a rythym and then normally run out of puff close to the finish...................................oh, I think I'm in the wrong thread, thought this was the racing section:innocent:

Arhh fukkit, same applies here I guess! :doh:

[Smorg]

I prefer screaming eagles or everyones age old favourite - The Boston Steamer.

[Trudes]

The wise woman has spoken ;)

The old crones even laugh like me!! :laugh:
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/DFRk2725FXI&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/DFRk2725FXI&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

[Usarka]

Here's a book to help you s/winder.....

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51FQ501BVTL._SS500_.jpg

[Number One]

The old crones even laugh like me!! :laugh:


OMG! That is spooky :lol:

[NighthawkNZ]

Fuck! Just fuck, for fucks sake.;)

yup just do it...

[Foxzee]

Come around to my place tonight Sidewinder and I will show you everything you'll ever need to know.

Just don't plan on walking tomorrow :sick:

LOL....that's done it Sketchy..he's hiding from his own thread now........he must have remembered your convo with him a couple of weekends ago....lol....what was it...oh yeah the burning mint warming gel......:shit:

:done:

[Skyryder]

Fuck! Just fuck, for fucks sake.;)

Yep that's what I've found to be the best. It's a bit like 'riding,' if ya got to think about ya doing it wrong.


Skyryder

[Trudes]

the burning mint warming gel......:shit:

:done:

Warming gel my arse!! That stuff's lethal!! :shit::laugh:

[jrandom]

Warming gel my arse!! That stuff's lethal!! :shit::laugh:

Did I ever tell you my story about the angry ex, the bottle of Astroglide, and the chilli sauce?

[Number One]

Did I ever tell you my story about the angry ex, the bottle of Astroglide, and the chilli sauce?
:rofl: the mind boggles..go on then :corn:

[Trudes]

Did I ever tell you my story about the angry ex, the bottle of Astroglide, and the chilli sauce?

No, but you have to now!!!:laugh:

[jrandom]

No, but you have to now!!!:laugh:

My sentence above should be self-explanatory.

She laced it and left it.

Unfortunately for the story, here, I never actually used that bottle of lube. She told me about the chilli sauce several months later, once we'd stopped hating each other quite so much.

Pity, though. The memory of... a certain someone... with chilli sauce in her vagina would have been one to treasure.

C'est la vie.

:sunny:

[Foxzee]

Warming gel my arse!! That stuff's lethal!! :shit::laugh:

So I've heard ....lol...just need to find a victim to test that out on:shit:.....:blink:

[nodrog]

Did I ever tell you my story about the angry ex, the bottle of Astroglide, and the chilli sauce?

kiwifruit can be a right cunt sometimes

[jrandom]

kiwifruit can be a right cunt sometimes

Think about it, though. He's never been an ex. Bad assumption, dude.

[nodrog]

Think about it, though. He's never been an ex.

thats not the story he tells whens he's trawling down at the blue oyster

[jrandom]

thats not the story he tells whens he's trawling down at the blue oyster

We fight a bit, but have never actually broken up. What a slut. I'm going to put Kaitaia Fire in his Vaseline.

[CookMySock]

with out cuming?? shit you cant make her cum bro not the go.Yes you can. Tell her "uh huh, inna minnit." Get her riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiite on the edge and make her wait. For ages. Then do all the yummy stuff..


something fun is to watch porn and try and copy everything they are doingfun yes, useful, no. porn is all acting. it's not real and it doesnt work. Best to develop your own skill. The only porn that is good is the really specialist stuff, and you either know what I mean or you don't.


I like the double bass myself, Up the starfish while reaching round with both hands playing with the boobies and the mound of venus....ding ding ding.....Max you bonkmeister, yeah thats good innit. Also, listen closely to her breathing. She will hold her breath right at the critical moment - freeze your right hand until she starts breathing again. LOL. Rinse and repeat. Keep free hand moving every 3-5 seconds in a random pattern, then tell some rude rude rude stories.

Steve

[firefighter]

If you're not fast, you're last... and who wants to come last?

:done:

Sex is a race....there's no prize for second place! Giggitty giggitty :done:

[kb_SF1]

Whatever is needed to make sure I get seconds.:laugh:

[JimO]

Thought it was a nog down your way

no we talk proper england

[Forest]

You mean there's more than one position?

Damn! :blink:

[chef]

nothing beats dogy its like entering a hole new hole feels so different. i love it

[98tls]

nothing beats dogy its like entering a hole new hole feels so different. i love it Typical young cunt fucks a dog and falls in love.

[Spyke]

talk about bad advice for riding motorbikes, god now we have it all. LOLOLOLOLOL

[SARGE]

how do you expect to get it if you cant spell it ?

[Molly]

Best position?

68

She goes down and I owe her one...

[Sidewinder]

Come around to my place tonight Sidewinder and I will show you everything you'll ever need to know.

Just don't plan on walking tomorrow :sick:

bro im still walking! maybe one day you will touch the sides lol

[Zuki lover]

bro im still walking! maybe one day you will touch the sides lol

Spelling mistake: walking should've been replaced with wanking. :rofl: :rofl:

[Sidewinder]

Spelling mistake: walking should've been replaced with wanking. :rofl: :rofl:

nah wwe talking about up the shitter tho

[Zuki lover]

:eek: my bad :sick::bye:

[Sketchy_Racer]

bro im still walking! maybe one day you will touch the sides lol

Sorry bro, I didn't realise you wanted my organ to be played in a cathedral... Maybe next time i'll get a little fist action happening... :blink::sick:

[Sidewinder]

Sorry bro, I didn't realise you wanted my organ to be played in a cathedral... Maybe next time i'll get a little fist action happening... :blink::sick:

bro you could use two hands and still clap:clap::clap::clap::clap::clap:

[Sidewinder]

LOL....that's done it Sketchy..he's hiding from his own thread now........he must have remembered your convo with him a couple of weekends ago....lol....what was it...oh yeah the burning mint warming gel......:shit:

:done:

no never i just have more to do than kb, but only every now and then

[Hitcher]

how many do you normaly use in one sitting??

Sitting, eh? Must add that to the list.

[Molly]

nah wwe talking about up the shitter tho

Do any women actually like it up the arse or is it just a bloke's subjugation thing?

Maybe we should have a poll (a hole poll) for the laydeeez...

[Trudes]

Outward goods only!!!!!

[Blackshear]

I dunno what it's called, but the one where you lean over and grab her tits just as the bus opens the doors and you hop out.

[Skyryder]

Sitting, eh? Must add that to the list.


It's not a guy thing:bash:


Skyryder

[Number One]

Outward goods only!!!!!
A muckhole OR a fuckhole...which would you rather play in?

Such a delicate question is it not :laugh: I recall one of 'the guys' posing this question at a party I happened to be at (not THAT kind of party)...

I recall he didn't get ANY action that night

[mossy1200]

I find the worst position is one of no escape.Thats when you find yourself in a room with one door and your wifes guarding it.
I can run faster than her but she is cunning like a weasel.

[CookMySock]

Do any women actually like it up the arse or is it just a bloke's subjugation thing? Basically, it's something that you spend some years learning how to even do once. When you can eventually do it well, its great for her and fairly average for him.

If you want to start with it (and not have her never wanting to do that again), then forget penetration for a long time yet and just play with a little gentle prod and find out what works and what doesn't. Even when you get to penetration, it sometimes goes well and sometimes doesn't - be very patient and go slow and if she says no that means "try again some months later". It's not an exact science, unless she is really really hot then its a lot easier. Put simply, if she is not on the edge ready to go (and been there for a full five minutes) then she won't like it, and thats the last time she will let you do that. If she is ready to go, and you do it right, then you should be greeted with four massive explosions and a 20 minute petite mort. Success!

Steve

[Foxzee]

Basically, it's something that you spend some years learning how to even do once. When you can eventually do it well, its great for her and fairly average for him.

If you want to start with it (and not have her never wanting to do that again), then forget penetration for a long time yet and just play with a little gentle prod and find out what works and what doesn't. Even when you get to penetration, it sometimes goes well and sometimes doesn't - be very patient and go slow and if she says no that means "try again some months later". It's not an exact science, unless she is really really hot then its a lot easier. Put simply, if she is not on the edge ready to go (and been there for a full five minutes) then she won't like it, and thats the last time she will let you do that. If she is ready to go, and you do it right, then you should be greeted with four massive explosions and a 20 minute petite mort. Success!

Steve

Well that's it then the new chocolate cake recipe....LOL.........:Oops: Better than Edmonds cookbook reads.....

[Blackshear]

The Charizard

While doing a hairy girl, light her pubes on fire. Then, put some of the fire out with your cum. Then wave your arms wildly yelling "You can't train me! You don't have enough badges!"

[Indiana_Jones]

<img src="http://photos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs250.snc1/9722_1056017699507_1797785424_116596_7199395_n.jpg">

Oh baby

-Indy

[Sidewinder]

omg grow some chest hair or shave that fluff off dude

[EJK]

Oh baby

-Indy



Dig in! </10char>

[Indiana_Jones]

omg grow some chest hair or shave that fluff off dude

dude, just because I refused your advances on me doesn't mean you have to be a bitter bitch now....

-Indy

[Sidewinder]

heads down tails up?
oh wait we use to play that at primary school!

[Sidewinder]

dude, just because I refused your advances on me doesn't mean you have to be a bitter bitch now....

-Indy

oh what ever i felt you push back

[Indiana_Jones]

oh what ever i felt you push back

I was trying to escape lol

-Indy

[Sidewinder]

I was trying to escape lol

-Indy

escape towards me??

[Indiana_Jones]

escape towards me??

You keep telling yourself and the judge that lol

-Indy

[gatch]

Feeling like something different ? give her a turkish snow cone.

If she is sore, exhausted or just doesn't want to touch your cock ? get her to give you a dutch rudder.

Or in the case of the mormon few, you could practise playing with "sleeping bags" with your mates hahaha.

[Thani-B]

Woman on top!

http://www.sexinfo101.com/sexualpositions.shtml

Animated as well, for all the idiots who cant read.

[EJK]

Woman on top!

http://www.sexinfo101.com/sexualpositions.shtml

Animated as well, for all the idiots who cant read.

Geez do people actually do that/Karmasutra?

[coffeejunkie]

Different strokes for different folks:yes:

[Hans]

Do any women actually like it up the arse or is it just a bloke's subjugation thing?

Maybe we should have a poll (a hole poll) for the laydeeez...

Yeah, more than a lot of people think. Blokes subjugation thing? For sure, but it's usually the girls that want to be subjugated that enjoy it. As for the poll, methinks you wouldn't get a lot of honest answers since you can see who voted what.

[Insanity_rules]

Woman on top!

http://www.sexinfo101.com/sexualpositions.shtml

Animated as well, for all the idiots who cant read.


Great website but it didn't include old favourites such as a Cleveland steamer or a Charlton Heston or the Rear Admiral or even a Spanish Uncle. Cummon people get creative.

I have a friend who is so ugly, his favourite position is man on top woman in magazine.

[Hans]

Or the Rodeo; while taking her roughly from behind, yell out ''I have AIDS!'' and stay in the saddle for 5 seconds.

[Skyryder]

There's only one position that counts. That's the 'inside' position.

Skyryder

[Skyryder]

Or the Rodeo; while taking her roughly from behind, yell out ''I have AIDS!'' and stay in the saddle for 5 seconds.

To which she replies, " I got clap you bastard and not the two handed kind."

Skyryder

[chef]

the angry dragon is the best (i think thats the name) anyway you do her from hehind before you cum pull out spit on her back she will be like finished? as she turns around shoot her all over the face. also hans aids one is beter done screaming her sisters name or best friends name

[chef]

how do you expect to get it if you cant spell it ?

foreign girls FTW

[Insanity_rules]

Oh I fogot about a donkey punch or white dragon. Anyone had either or both of those.

[Sidewinder]

Oh I fogot about a donkey punch or white dragon. Anyone had either or both of those.
dont even know what they are.
but if the bitch wont let ya do her up the ass ya just punch her bum checks till they go dead and then the bitch cant hold her ass shut and ya can just ease it in there lol

[Insanity_rules]

dont even know what they are.
but if the bitch wont let ya do her up the ass ya just punch her bum checks till they go dead and then the bitch cant hold her ass shut and ya can just ease it in there lol

To quote Wikipedia

Donkey Punch

Donkey punch is a slang term for an apocryphal and potentially lethal[1] sexual practice supposedly performed during anal sex. The purported practice involves the penetrating partner punching the receiving partner in the back of the head or neck (what is known in boxing as a rabbit punch, after a technique to kill rabbits) allegedly causing the receiving partner's anal passage to tense up and increase the pleasure of the penetrating partner.[2] When used, the donkey punch is almost exclusively executed during or just before the orgasm of the penetrating partner.[3]

There is some controversy concerning whether the initial sexual act is restricted to anal sex prior to the donkey punch, or whether muscular contraction after the blow to the back of the head or neck during vaginal sex can also qualify as a donkey punch. It has even been proposed that a possible use of the donkey punch is to create a situation in which there can be a "surprise anal penetration" tantamount to sexual assault or rape.[4]

White Dragon

The sexual practice of ,after ejaculating in a partners mouth, making them laugh or sneeze to force the ejaculate to escape from the partners nose.

Hows that for an education?

[Sidewinder]

thats me this weekend lol

[Foxzee]

To quote Wikipedia

Donkey Punch

Donkey punch is a slang term for an apocryphal and potentially lethal[1] sexual practice supposedly performed during anal sex. The purported practice involves the penetrating partner punching the receiving partner in the back of the head or neck (what is known in boxing as a rabbit punch, after a technique to kill rabbits) allegedly causing the receiving partner's anal passage to tense up and increase the pleasure of the penetrating partner.[2] When used, the donkey punch is almost exclusively executed during or just before the orgasm of the penetrating partner.[3]

There is some controversy concerning whether the initial sexual act is restricted to anal sex prior to the donkey punch, or whether muscular contraction after the blow to the back of the head or neck during vaginal sex can also qualify as a donkey punch. It has even been proposed that a possible use of the donkey punch is to create a situation in which there can be a "surprise anal penetration" tantamount to sexual assault or rape.[4]

White Dragon

The sexual practice of ,after ejaculating in a partners mouth, making them laugh or sneeze to force the ejaculate to escape from the partners nose.

Hows that for an education?

Dam did ya have to tell him.....poor AJTurbo....he only bet him in the bucket race does he really deserve that.....lol:shutup:

[Sidewinder]

Dam did ya have to tell him.....poor AJTurbo....he only bet him in the bucket race does he really deserve that.....lol:shutup:

oh hell no. everyone knows thats not white paint all over ajs hat and beanie

[JATZ]

To quote Wikipedia

Donkey Punch

Donkey punch is a slang term for an apocryphal and potentially lethal[1] sexual practice supposedly performed during anal sex. The purported practice involves the penetrating partner punching the receiving partner in the back of the head or neck (what is known in boxing as a rabbit punch, after a technique to kill rabbits) allegedly causing the receiving partner's anal passage to tense up and increase the pleasure of the penetrating partner.[2] When used, the donkey punch is almost exclusively executed during or just before the orgasm of the penetrating partner.[3]

There is some controversy concerning whether the initial sexual act is restricted to anal sex prior to the donkey punch, or whether muscular contraction after the blow to the back of the head or neck during vaginal sex can also qualify as a donkey punch. It has even been proposed that a possible use of the donkey punch is to create a situation in which there can be a "surprise anal penetration" tantamount to sexual assault or rape.[4]

White Dragon

The sexual practice of ,after ejaculating in a partners mouth, making them laugh or sneeze to force the ejaculate to escape from the partners nose.

Hows that for an education?

God I love the interweb.......:love: Ya learn something new every day, most of it useless shit but some real gems sometimes :yes:

[Foxzee]

oh hell no. everyone knows thats not white paint all over ajs hat and beanie

No it'z chalk......we mapped you out.......

[Sidewinder]

No it'z chalk......we mapped you out.......

did ya take the crime seance pics aswell????
<img src=http://blogs.sfweekly.com/thesnitch/chalk_outline.jpg>

[Foxzee]

did ya take the crime seance pics aswell????
<img src=http://blogs.sfweekly.com/thesnitch/chalk_outline.jpg>


Yep to the tee...you flat on ya back...hoping for action...oh stiff too even better......:gob:

[Sidewinder]

Yep to the tee...you flat on ya back...hoping for action...oh stiff too even better......:gob:

dont tease the stiffs they cant talk back

[Foxzee]

dont tease the stiffs they cant talk back


Why u so lippy then.....

[Sidewinder]

Why u so lippy then.....

cuz im still warm, just cooling down tho:cold::cold:

[Dean]

Craigs at his mate Johns girlfreinds house



But is it ok for her to give Craig a woody?


Only if she gives John a woody too

Crack a woody

[jonbuoy]

Basically, it's something that you spend some years learning how to even do once. When you can eventually do it well, its great for her and fairly average for him.

If you want to start with it (and not have her never wanting to do that again), then forget penetration for a long time yet and just play with a little gentle prod and find out what works and what doesn't. Even when you get to penetration, it sometimes goes well and sometimes doesn't - be very patient and go slow and if she says no that means "try again some months later". It's not an exact science, unless she is really really hot then its a lot easier. Put simply, if she is not on the edge ready to go (and been there for a full five minutes) then she won't like it, and thats the last time she will let you do that. If she is ready to go, and you do it right, then you should be greeted with four massive explosions and a 20 minute petite mort. Success!

Steve

DB Anal sex guide - Disturbing :sick:

[EJK]

Oh here's an expert question (I've been wondering for a very long time).
Women's way to orgasm takes ages however men's can be quite short. So what and how do men must do to match the performance? (i.e. Finish at the same time)

[Trudes]

Think of something else while you're doing it EJK.... like you're screwing your step-mum or someone you think is grotty does the trick.:sick:

[EJK]

Think of something else while you're doing it EJK.... like you're screwing your step-mum or someone you think is grotty does the trick.:sick:

:sick: I won't even get a hard on!

[racefactory]

There's one i like to call the 'tuna surpise'. It's when a pervert or deviant like myself abuses a large-mouthed fish for sexual gratification, filling it with a substance resembling mornay sauce. An act of grievous fish-abuse for sure.

If you feel the need to spice things up a little and take matters outside, you can freak out at the back of the supermarket, pants around the ankles giving that mackerel a tuna surprise!

However when i'm home with the girl friend I find there's nothing quite as invigorating as tuna stink valley. Mmm that is some of the good stuff.

[racefactory]

Almost forgot!

I must add that there is another version under the same title that I was not referring to here but that others may be more familiar with. This is when engaging in sexual activity, just before the male ejaculates he yells ''tuna surprise'', at which point a friend jumps out the wardrobe and slaps the female in the face with a fish. I've known a mate who broke up with his girlfriend after she got done with this version of the ''tuna surprise''.

[CookMySock]

@EJK yeah think of something unrelated, or else repeatedly peaking it up and down tends to take the edge off of it.

Steve

[Foxzee]

Oh here's an expert question (I've been wondering for a very long time).
Women's way to orgasm takes ages however men's can be quite short. So what and how do men must do to match the performance? (i.e. Finish at the same time)

Have it more than once or twice in the same night.......that works to...........:Oops:

[Sidewinder]

Oh here's an expert question (I've been wondering for a very long time).
Women's way to orgasm takes ages however men's can be quite short. So what and how do men must do to match the performance? (i.e. Finish at the same time)

it takes the woman loger??? um i havnt got that prob atm. but hey ya might have to ring up that place off the radio ad if ya got a problem

[Foxzee]

it takes the woman loger??? um i havnt got that prob atm. but hey ya might have to ring up that place off the radio ad if ya got a problem

Yeah PM you for the number aye....must be on a speed dial surely:blink:

[Sidewinder]

Yeah PM you for the number aye....must be on a speed dial surely:blink:

haha speed is not the key lol.
ya just put it in ice till its gone nun and then ya dont feel anything

[Foxzee]

haha speed is not the key lol.
ya just put it in ice till its gone nun and then ya dont feel anything

Speed is not the key...hang on this you we talking about.....you mean to say you found something that slows ya down....