Fatt Max
11th October 2009, 14:03
Chewing the fat with a few of the lads last night, one of 'em brings along his new flatmate, Aussie chick, not bad looking but with the personality of a hormonal rotteweiller with a toothache.
Anyways, she is "rack off' this and "thats Kiwi sheet" that, generally being right fucking annoying.
We learn that she is new to Auckland and is still doing the sightseeeing bit before getting off her arse and finding a job (then hopefully paying some rent, but that's not my problem)
So she starts on about Kelly Tarltons and how she is going there tomorrow (which is now today....stay with me here) and from the outside it looks "really sheety, what you got in there anyway, some goldfeesh, eh....eh...goldfeesh....)
"actually", I says, "There is a Megladon exhibition on there at the mo, you might even find that interesting"
"What's a Megladon? is that some kind of feesh?"
Excellent opportunity and no mistake.....
"No, it's a very rare breed of shark. They have got one on display and you can watch them feed it, it's amazing"
"Really", she says. "what do they feed it?"
Then my mate Tony jumps in
"Depends on the time of day really, early mornings they toss it some sheep but in the afternonn they give it a full cow, its fucking amazing"
"yeah" pipes up the others, "Got to be seen to be believed"
At this point, most 'normal and intelligent' people would have cracked on to this but no, not our new Tasman friend, so it continues.....
"yeah, go there tomorrow and have a look but you have to ask the lady in the ticket booth for a Megladon Feeding Time Spectator Pass and say you want to see the cow lowered into the tank"
Have not really thought much about all that since last night until about an hour ago, me mate rings me and tells me that Ms Australia Brains Trust has been on the phone to him swearing and cursing saying that all the staff in the ticket office were laughing at her as well as everyone in earshot who was standing in the queue......fucking classic.....
Well deserved I reckon...dopey slapper
Anyways, she is "rack off' this and "thats Kiwi sheet" that, generally being right fucking annoying.
We learn that she is new to Auckland and is still doing the sightseeeing bit before getting off her arse and finding a job (then hopefully paying some rent, but that's not my problem)
So she starts on about Kelly Tarltons and how she is going there tomorrow (which is now today....stay with me here) and from the outside it looks "really sheety, what you got in there anyway, some goldfeesh, eh....eh...goldfeesh....)
"actually", I says, "There is a Megladon exhibition on there at the mo, you might even find that interesting"
"What's a Megladon? is that some kind of feesh?"
Excellent opportunity and no mistake.....
"No, it's a very rare breed of shark. They have got one on display and you can watch them feed it, it's amazing"
"Really", she says. "what do they feed it?"
Then my mate Tony jumps in
"Depends on the time of day really, early mornings they toss it some sheep but in the afternonn they give it a full cow, its fucking amazing"
"yeah" pipes up the others, "Got to be seen to be believed"
At this point, most 'normal and intelligent' people would have cracked on to this but no, not our new Tasman friend, so it continues.....
"yeah, go there tomorrow and have a look but you have to ask the lady in the ticket booth for a Megladon Feeding Time Spectator Pass and say you want to see the cow lowered into the tank"
Have not really thought much about all that since last night until about an hour ago, me mate rings me and tells me that Ms Australia Brains Trust has been on the phone to him swearing and cursing saying that all the staff in the ticket office were laughing at her as well as everyone in earshot who was standing in the queue......fucking classic.....
Well deserved I reckon...dopey slapper