Men should avoid childbirth

[Usarka]

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/lifestyle/news/article.cfm?c_id=6&objectid=10603977

What he calls "the masculinisation of the birth environment" helps to explain the fact that 24 per cent of women now have a caesarean section, he said.

It seems all the old "chauvanistic" traits may have been for a valid reason after all. Who would'a thunk.

Guys, leave the missus at the hospital and go out for a pint. :apint: I'd say the same argument applies to washing the dishes.

[Flatcap]

I don't know why people say childbirth is magical

looks only slightly less gruesome than that scene from alien

[Eng_dave]

As a father to be, I can honestly say I will be in the room but staying top side. A baby i have plenty of time too see later bag of shit and piss, no need to see.

[McWild]

I don't know why people say childbirth is magical

looks only slightly less gruesome than that scene from alien

I know right, it's a person coming out of another person causing the bigger person a lot of pain and the smaller person is covered in goop.

Goodness knows what the first parents thought when women started swelling up and releasing people.

"Uh oh, looks like you have people-itis!"



*nb. Not saying that children aren't magical gifts from above but srsly childbirth is weird.

[firefighter]

:clap::lol::beer:

That's some funny shit. I could quote all of ya but it's all awesome.

The best one iv'e read is from Max........

"watching your wife give birth is like watching your favourite pub burn down"

Never fails to get me smiling!

[mynameis]

Bart: Dad I am hungry, can we get some takeaway.

Homer: No Bart we can't afford that.

Bart: Dad are we poor.

Homer: Yes we are son.

Homer: And you know why is that son.

Bart: Why?

Homer: Because we have children.

[p.dath]

Been in the delivery room for both my children. It's not that stressfull.

Seems like a load of bollocks to me.

[MisterD]

Been in the delivery room for both my children. It's not that stressfull.

Seems like a load of bollocks to me.

I've been in the operating theatre for the arrival by c-section of both of mine...I was quite happy to not be able to see anything of the process below the surgeon's shoulders, "rummaging" is the word that comes most readily to mind...:eek5:

FWIW. I'd put some of the increase in c-sections down to the fact that children who don't die because they're delivered that way, now go on to have their own children who also need to be delivered by c-section...exhibit A: Me.

[Okey Dokey]

That was quite a good read. It made a lot of sense. But PC-ness often overrules sense, sadly.

[Headbanger]

Preserve the pussy, Cut the gut.

[Cheshire Cat]

I know a lady who popped her son out in 2 and a half hours and there were plenty of people in the room. it was a home birth so I think its the hospitals that make it hard.

[Indoo]

"Some men end up suffering from a male equivalent of postnatal depression. Others end up playing golf or computer games"

Rofl. Got a good excuse for going out fishing now.

[Motu]

After 4 home births I don't feel unduly traumatised...and no home cesarean births either.

[nothingflash]

The way I see it - it can't hurt more than a knock to the balls as no man wants to go through that twice!

[ready4whatever]

Me and the gf wer just talking about going to get pregnancy tests tomorrow as shes having all the signs. hoping like hell that she isnt. if she is no doubt i'll start a thread on here about it

[mstriumph]

Been in the delivery room for both my children. It's not that stressfull.

Seems like a load of bollocks to me.

bollocks? not so!!

i was in the delivery room when MINE were born too ... and i can assure you that i found it as far from "it's not that stressful" as it is possible to get!!:(

[klingon]

Me and the gf wer just talking about going to get pregnancy tests tomorrow ...

If you're both pregnant, would that make them twins? :wacko:

[YellowDog]

Sorry guys, I don't want to put you off or anything!

[ready4whatever]

If you're both pregnant, would that make them twins? :wacko:

Im not pregnant. real glad im not after yellowdogs input.

[PrincessBandit]

I reckon it's good having the bloke there just to see how physically demanding it is for the woman. Before men were allowed to be in "assisting" their wife (well, in the old days before the term partner, and certainly before - shock horror "girlfriend") they probably thought the new arrival came out looking all pink, clean and asleep! And that the woman managed to do it without a hair out of place rather than looking like a red sweaty swearing madwoman who cursed having a penis anywhere near her hahahaha

[gatch]

Should I ever be a dad there is no fuckin way that I want to see the mother of my childs vagina being destroyed, by someone who is going to cost me my soul and all of the money I have for the next 18 years.

It'd be like getting kicked in the nuts, then while you are on your knees in pain, getting taken up the bum by some 8 foot tall 500lb monstrosity named big bob.

FWIW I was a c-section baby, 9lb 10oz.

The biggest crap I have ever taken would be lucky to have weighed in at 1lb and that was :argh: enough...

[Headbanger]

Sorry guys, I don't want to put you off or anything!

Interesting, Viewing that picture gave me a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach.:(:(:(

[Headbanger]

After watching the wife go through pure hell and agony for 15 hours to push out the first born, It blew me away a year later when you told me she wanted to do it all again.

I was of course looking foward to the frequency of sex, But she got pregnant almost straight away.

I've been sulking ever since.

[bikemike]

From a pioneer of water birthing and an advocate of homebirth, his beef and the article should be titled against delivery rooms being de-facto. In delivery rooms the mother generally has fewer choices about who becomes involved in the birth.

If all goes well (and it does over 85% of the time - local stats) then mothers have much more say in how it goes, and who will be there. I guess if homebirth becomes more normalised again perhaps some mums will choose for their man not to be there, especially if mothers choose a doula or midwives alone for support. I doubt it though - I know of no partnered mums who birth at home who wouldn't have them there?

Sure the hospital is still needed, but even there, so much could be done to make the whole thing a lot more respectful. I know several women nigh on destroyed (at the time and for some time) by the cascade of intervention and the brush off they got from hospital.

I was at the birth for our first and it was bloody brilliant, in the pool too :-) Next one is part cooked :-)

If your woman wants you there, man-up and get to it. Your job includes making sure only those she wants to be involved are involved, home or hospital.

p.s. I'm sure my wife was talking about men getting an oxytocin rush from being at the birth too...

[YellowDog]

I reckon it's good having the bloke there just to see how physically demanding it is for the woman. Before men were allowed to be in "assisting" their wife (well, in the old days before the term partner, and certainly before - shock horror "girlfriend") they probably thought the new arrival came out looking all pink, clean and asleep! And that the woman managed to do it without a hair out of place rather than looking like a red sweaty swearing madwoman who cursed having a penis anywhere near her hahahaha
Well I just think you have got this all wrong!

At least the woman gets to lie down! Standing for hours is absolute agony.

The only chair that the man is offered is right down at the business end. "erm..... I think I'd rather stand.

And as for staying up at the hand holding end. Think again!

"Hey you, stop standing around there doing nothing and grab this leg"

"But, but......."

"NOW !!!!!"

"Yes Mam"

Then try not fainting!

AND AND AND........ It uis far more painful watching someone you love in pain than being in pain yourself.

But seriously, I have seen it 5 times now and wouldn't miss witnessing the miricle of life for anything.

Of course us guys do get to see something that the ladies never can :banana:

[PrincessBandit]

..............

Then try not fainting!

AND AND AND........ It uis far more painful watching someone you love in pain than being in pain yourself.

But seriously, I have seen it 5 times now and wouldn't miss witnessing the miricle of life for anything.

Of course us guys do get to see something that the ladies never can :banana:

Lol. I agree that it is hard to see someone you love in pain and not being able to do much about it - especially knowing you're half the reason she's going through it :eek:

I was with my sister when she gave birth to my niece. Tbh, I'm kinda glad I'd already had my two by then and wasn't planning on any more!

Don't know how you guys do it. (But I still reckon you get away muuuuuuch light than us :msn-wink:)

[Pussy]

All I know about it is that you need:

Lots of towels/sheets

Lots of boiling water

Television has been AWESOME for my education!

[PrincessBandit]

Am I sensing a career change for you John????

[Pussy]

Am I sensing a career change for you John????

Well, clearly I have got most of it sussed, and being a dairy cocky's son, I have delivered lots of calves.
Do they mind you taking baling twine in to the delivery suites?

[Swoop]

Should I ever be a dad there is no fuckin way that I want to see the mother of my childs vagina being destroyed...
A workmate watched his partner give birth. Afterwards he said to the doctor "can you put a couple of stitches in it to tighten it back up again?"...

He related the next part of the story as "being escorted out of the theatre...":rofl:
I thought doctors had a sense of humour, after all, look at the enjoyment they get from burning couches when they are at Otago uni!


Do they mind you taking baling twine in to the delivery suites?
Perhaps a couple of hay bales would make a comfy bed?:lol:

[ready4whatever]

Do they mind you taking baling twine in to the delivery suites?

apperently the almighty jesus was born in a barn, so he was probably delivered like a sheep, so why not

[ManDownUnder]

Should I ever be a dad there is no fuckin way that I want to see the mother of my childs vagina being destroyed, by someone who is going to cost me my soul and all of the money I have for the next 18 years.


I'm picking you're a "meat comes from the supermarket" type?

Milk comes in bottles?

[jrandom]

Modern medical science has a lot to answer for, in my opinion.

I had to pay my daughter's optometrist (another) $350 today.

If the doctors had let her die at birth like nature intended, I wouldn't be stuck with the endless bills for propping up the health of a malformed runt.

[YellowDog]

Modern medical science has a lot to answer for, in my opinion.

I had to pay my daughter's optometrist (another) $350 today.

If the doctors had let her die at birth like nature intended, I wouldn't be stuck with the endless bills for propping up the health of a malformed runt.
I'm sure you don't mean that.

Now she's a better size, perhaps you could barbeque her!
(like that guy did with his family pet)

[Mully]

Bart: Dad I am hungry, can we get some takeaway.

Homer: No Bart we can't afford that.

Bart: Dad are we poor.

Homer: Yes we are son.

Homer: And you know why is that son.

Bart: Why?

Homer: Because we have children.

Homer: Oh, I have three kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and three money?

[gatch]

I'm picking you're a "meat comes from the supermarket" type?

Milk comes in bottles?

HAhaaaa yeah.. Boy in the bubble is me...

[PrincessBandit]

Modern medical science has a lot to answer for, in my opinion.

I had to pay my daughter's optometrist (another) $350 today.

If the doctors had let her die at birth like nature intended, I wouldn't be stuck with the endless bills for propping up the health of a malformed runt.

But some people are just suckers for malformed runts. You're just a big softy, we all know that.

[ManDownUnder]

I had to pay my daughter's optometrist (another) $350 today.

WINJA - zz'at you?

[peasea]

I'm picking you're a "meat comes from the supermarket" type?

Milk comes in bottles?

And an elephant comes in pints, right?

[jrandom]

But some people are just suckers for malformed runts. You're just a big softy, we all know that.

I'm pretty sure that by the time she finds and reads this thread, she'll understand.

[tri boy]

I feel sorry for the Stalk. Must be tremendous stress on his wings/beak.

[Fatt Max]

My mate was in the delivery room when his missus gave birth to twins....

He went mental at her and demanded to know who the other man was....

[mstriumph]

I feel sorry for the Stalk. Must be tremendous stress on his wings/beak.

whilst it IS true that some stalks can end in pregnancy [depends who the stalker is, i guess :whistle: ] babies are normally delivered by those birds with the big bills

....................that'd be either a gynecologist or a STORK :dodge: