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Sniper
21st April 2005, 11:44
To Riff and all those that enjoy the noxious vapours that creep out of our butts, heres a read for you.

I had to post it as an attachment as it was too large otherwise. :killingme

Magua
21st April 2005, 12:00
Lol, great read.

HDTboy
21st April 2005, 17:52
What kind of animal has the highest worldwide output of flatulence?

Believe it or not, the animal that wins this honor is the humble termite. Because of their diet and digestive processes (with more than the usual microbial assistance), they produce as much methane as human industry. Termite farts are believed to be a major contributor towards global warming.




So much for taxing sheep farts Helen!

Jonty
21st April 2005, 17:56
So much for taxing sheep farts Helen!

Too right, endng up having to tax urbanites for an infestation, that would have been one helluva backfire, :2thumbsup

Hitcher
21st April 2005, 19:57
So much for taxing sheep farts Helen!
Let's get one thing clear right now. Ruminant animals like cows and sheep don't fart. They belch. Big difference!

Methane is a by-product of rumen digestion (the rumen being the largest of a ruminant animal's four stomachs, acting as a large fermentation vessel to aid the digestion of cellulose into simple, digestible sugars).

Cows and sheep don't fart! Get it?

Sniper
22nd April 2005, 08:04
Let's get one thing clear right now. Ruminant animals like cows and sheep don't fart. They belch. Big difference!

Methane is a by-product of rumen digestion (the rumen being the largest of a ruminant animal's four stomachs, acting as a large fermentation vessel to aid the digestion of cellulose into simple, digestible sugars).

Cows and sheep don't fart! Get it?

He is right you know

NordieBoy
22nd April 2005, 09:31
So belching is ok then.

Cool.

:2thumbsup

Hitcher
22nd April 2005, 09:35
He is right you know
Shucks. Validation.

bear
22nd April 2005, 10:48
Fascinating read! So much to learn about so little things...

Sniper
22nd April 2005, 11:19
Shucks. Validation.

I had to, I had an argument at work with a collegue that said otherwise, so thank you for your wise input Mr Hitcher sir. :niceone:

_Gina_
11th May 2006, 14:01
Is it possible to leave a brown spot on your pants because of a fart, and if so, what causes it?

LOL

Kornholio
11th May 2006, 14:13
Is it possible to leave a brown spot on your pants because of a fart, and if so, what causes it?

LOL

Oh LOL :D


Cows and sheep don't fart! Get it?

They do after the AI man has had his arm up there :sick:

cowpoos
11th May 2006, 14:23
Shucks. Validation.
I gave up trying to explain it....fuck...people are dumb...the comment I used always get was....."but thats what I heard on TV that its a fart tax not a burp tax".....FFS!!!!

WRT
11th May 2006, 15:03
Is it possible to leave a brown spot on your pants because of a fart, and if so, what causes it?

LOL

What causes it? Poor sphincter control usually.

Sniper
11th May 2006, 15:06
Damn, just over a year old, and a thread of mine? What are the odds?

Colapop
11th May 2006, 15:09
I gave up trying to explain it....fuck...people are dumb...the comment I used always get was....."but thats what I heard on TV that its a fart tax not a burp tax".....FFS!!!!
You spend too much time with livestock CP!!

_Gina_
11th May 2006, 15:24
Damn, just over a year old, and a thread of mine? What are the odds?
:innocent:
My fault, was bored at work and looking for somehting funny to read.
Sorted the "funnies" by rating and yours was close to the top!!

Gg

Sniper
11th May 2006, 15:26
Thats ok, people always dig up the best threads.

_Gina_
11th May 2006, 15:29
What causes it? Poor sphincter control usually.
Or not wiping properly so they say....
:sick:

Hitcher
11th May 2006, 15:50
Or fear. Fear or campylobacter. Fear, campylobacter or a nasty surprise.

ukbandit
13th May 2006, 23:15
To Riff and all those that enjoy the noxious vapours that creep out of our butts, heres a read for you.

I had to post it as an attachment as it was too large otherwise. :killingme
you wished haha :killingme :rofl:

Flyingpony
14th May 2006, 11:02
Damn, just over a year old, and a thread of mine? What are the odds?
:killingme
About 1 in 10,362 without counting any deleted posts or those moved into pd.

Sniper
14th May 2006, 11:36
you wished haha :killingme :rofl:

I wished???

_Gina_
14th May 2006, 19:14
I wished???
upon a star.........

Swoop
13th January 2007, 10:10
A little boy blows up his balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it, as he's liable to break something.

The boy continues. "Johnny!" mum screams. "Knock it off. You're going to break something." He stops and eventually mum leaves for a short trip to the store. Johnny starts up with the balloon again.
He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet.

Mum comes in and while putting away the groceries gets the urge - diarrhea
run. She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes.
When she's finished she looks down and can't believe what she's seeing.

Diarrhea everywhere! She's not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet! She calls her doctor. The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation but he assures her he'll be over shortly to examine everything.

When he arrives she leads him to the bathroom and he gets down on his knees and takes a long, hard look at the thing. Finally, he takes out his pen and then sort of prods it, to see what it might be.

POP! The balloon explodes and diarrhea is everywhere! On him, the walls, etc. Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right?" she asks.

He says, "I've been in this business for over 30 years and this is the first time I've ever seen a fart!"

Toaster
13th January 2007, 10:14
Check out the Thread "Fart mask"

HDTboy
5th July 2007, 23:20
Hehe. Farts are funny.

Curious_AJ
6th July 2007, 00:52
GAHAAHHAA farts are frikin awesome... and the same with a great burp.. I've won many competitions for both. .and constantly get told off for my loud and tuneful burping in the house...

my longest burp=4 seconds _b!!

Hitcher
6th July 2007, 08:48
my longest burp=4 seconds!!

Amateur. Come back when you can burp the alphabet in two burps and the Lord's Prayer in three (a competent Catholic burper should be able to do that in two burps as well).

Patrick
6th July 2007, 12:30
Is it possible to leave a brown spot on your pants because of a fart, and if so, what causes it?

LOL

Yes. Cause: Turtle poking its head out...