Harley rider pre-ride check list

[Bren]

Harley rider pre-ride check off list:


1. Comb baseball player goatee and mustache
2. Spend 6- hours polishing gaudy chrome pieces. Be sure people can read the 'Live to ride-ride to live' statement on gas tank lid.
3. Assure suspension can handle at least 560 pounds of rider
4. Pack cell phone and have tow service numbers programmed.
5. Look in mirror and perfect the 'I'm a bad *** motherf'er' harley riding scowl.
6. Affix tassels from daughters bicycle to handle bars for added gay appearance.
7. Test flashers for when bike breaks down (99% probability)
8. Put on your wrist brace to help carpal tunnel from all of the unnecessary revving
9. Leather pants
10. Gloves
11. Wrap around sunglasses
12. Skull cap (German soldier type for the real badarsses). Remember to think about the SAFETY aspect/argument of loud pipes as putting that potato chip on head. The real tough guys here will wear a bandana over their face (some with a skull) to look really scary----ooooh!
13. CAT work boots (new)
14. Leather vest with some 'chapter' like: North chapter of pig f'ing obese attention ***** douche bags with fat ugly loud mouth wives.
15. HD t-shirt (of course). Because everyone needs to know what shop you paid $40 for a $5 hanes shirt at.
16. Remove baffles from pipes so EVERYONE can hear you going 18mph in 2nd gear at redline. Note: Most HD break down before hitting 2nd gear.
17. Starbucks gift card: This is usually your hangout--------------how tough.
18. Call friends with similar ridiculous motorcycle (WW2 outdated technology garbage) and pathetic store bought image (gay pirate from the Castro) attire. Have them ATTEMPT to meet you at the starbucks without breaking down or crashing due to being distracted from looking at themselves in their chrome.
19. Five packs of Marlboro reds to smoke while riding to look extra cool
20. Slam a 6 pack of Zima prior to ride.
21. Saddle bags attached to pick up to store broken parts that fall off bike as you ride/push (if you can call it riding without laughing) that hunk of chit down the road.

[cave weta]

Hey Man- 92% of all Harleys ever made are still on the road- did you know that!?
The rest made it home.

[Laxi]

did a harley rider not wave to you today? :lol:

[Bren]

did a harley rider not wave to you today? :lol:

Do they ever?

[Flip]

You know I always wondered what the F was for in GSX750F, I guess we all know now.

Me thinks you protest too much, you are not thinking about getting a Harley are you?

[McJim]

Ducati riders check list:

1/ Credit card
2/ Condoms

What else do I need? :rofl:

[Bren]

You know I always wondered what the F was for in GSX750F, I guess we all know now.

Me thinks you protest too much, you are not thinking about getting a Harley are you?

I like some harleys....would happily ride a V Rod....

[StoneY]

Add bike tyre pump to the list Jim, that fuckin visa card didnt help me at all today when the air all went to the top of my tyre
:(

[Elysium]

Wasn't there a similier checklist for the Honda Goldwing?

[McJim]

Add bike tyre pump to the list Jim, that fuckin visa card didnt help me at all today when the air all went to the top of my tyre
:(

I have one of those aerosol pressurised thingumies under my seat at all times. Gives the tyre enough latex and air to get me as far as the nearest petrol station....unless the tyre gets ripped and well...if that happened you'd be donald ducked anyway eh? :rofl:

[Kickaha]

Add bike tyre pump to the list Jim, that fuckin visa card didnt help me at all today when the air all went to the top of my tyre
:(


That's cause you got one of them funny Duclatterys with belt drive cam thingys instead of a real one with bevel gears:yes:

[BikerDazz]

Harley rider pre-ride check off list:


1. Comb baseball player goatee and mustache
2. Spend 6- hours polishing gaudy chrome pieces. Be sure people can read the 'Live to ride-ride to live' statement on gas tank lid.
3. Assure suspension can handle at least 560 pounds of rider
4. Pack cell phone and have tow service numbers programmed.
5. Look in mirror and perfect the 'I'm a bad *** motherf'er' harley riding scowl.
6. Affix tassels from daughters bicycle to handle bars for added gay appearance.
7. Test flashers for when bike breaks down (99% probability)
8. Put on your wrist brace to help carpal tunnel from all of the unnecessary revving
9. Leather pants
10. Gloves
11. Wrap around sunglasses
12. Skull cap (German soldier type for the real badarsses). Remember to think about the SAFETY aspect/argument of loud pipes as putting that potato chip on head. The real tough guys here will wear a bandana over their face (some with a skull) to look really scary----ooooh!
13. CAT work boots (new)
14. Leather vest with some 'chapter' like: North chapter of pig f'ing obese attention ***** douche bags with fat ugly loud mouth wives.
15. HD t-shirt (of course). Because everyone needs to know what shop you paid $40 for a $5 hanes shirt at.
16. Remove baffles from pipes so EVERYONE can hear you going 18mph in 2nd gear at redline. Note: Most HD break down before hitting 2nd gear.
17. Starbucks gift card: This is usually your hangout--------------how tough.
18. Call friends with similar ridiculous motorcycle (WW2 outdated technology garbage) and pathetic store bought image (gay pirate from the Castro) attire. Have them ATTEMPT to meet you at the starbucks without breaking down or crashing due to being distracted from looking at themselves in their chrome.
19. Five packs of Marlboro reds to smoke while riding to look extra cool
20. Slam a 6 pack of Zima prior to ride.
21. Saddle bags attached to pick up to store broken parts that fall off bike as you ride/push (if you can call it riding without laughing) that hunk of chit down the road.


Hey man, there's nothing like a trim chai latte from starbucks!

[marigami]

Well done indeed!
I am sure this is because Bren actually loves Harley lol

[Laxi]

Do they ever?

yeah, when they're waving down the recovery vehicle:lol:

[SARGE]

Ducati riders check list:

1/ Credit card
2/ Condoms

What else do I need? :rofl:

earmuffs and a girlfriend apparently :blank:

[Bren]

Well done indeed!
I am sure this is because Bren actually loves Harley lol

In fact I love the looks (without tassles), and i love the sound....What gets me is the harley riders seem to come across as if they are better than anyone else...(I know I am pigeonholing there).

There are some good guys out there on harleys, as well as arseholes

Heck there are arseholes on sportsbikes too....

I'm an asshole
I drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane,
While people behind me are going insane.
I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, such an asshole)

I use public toilets and piss on the seat,
I walk around in the summertime saying "How about this heat?"
I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole)

Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces,
While handicapped people make handicapped faces.
I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (He's a real fucking asshole)

[AllanB]

Ducati riders check list:

1/ Credit card
2/ Condoms

What else do I need? :rofl:

Is the credit card to pay for the whore so you can use the condom?
:rofl::rofl:

[McJim]

Is the credit card to pay for the whore so you can use the condom?
:rofl::rofl:

O'course. Have you seen me? I'm so butt ugly even riding a Ducati doesn't get me laid. :rofl:

[Sketchy Snr]

yeah, when they're waving down the recovery vehicle:lol:

Watch yourself young man.:2guns:

[miSTa]

That's cause you got one of them funny Duclatterys with belt drive cam thingys instead of a real one with bevel gears:yes:
And the bevels give us a bad name for reliability (tongue firmly planted in cheek) :yes:

[sidecar bob]

You know I always wondered what the F was for in GSX750F, I guess we all know now.

Me thinks you protest too much, you are not thinking about getting a Harley are you?

Well i know for sure its got to be something far less gay sounding than the list of pisstake names Harley give to their range. I mean, how the fuck do you tell someone you ride a "Bad Boy" with a straight face?
And a Duo Glide?? W.T F?? where do you stick that bad boy?
I notice an alarming overuse of the words Glide, Boy, Rod & Hugger in the Harley lineup, Coincedince?http://www.bikez.com/brand/harley-davidson_motorcycles.php Sounds more like a dildo catalogue than a bike one, complete with semi naked gay boy pictures interspersed throughout. My favourite would have to be the "Fat Boy Injection" closley followed by the "Night Rod"

[Insanity_rules]

Ducati riders check list:

1/ Credit card
2/ Condoms

What else do I need? :rofl:

3/ The big stick to beat back the Women who mob us when we stop.

[cave weta]

Look at me - Im a Badass Mutha.....

150384

I ride the wallowy,horrible furkn things lots. but I dont have to own it and I get paid to ride it.

[cave weta]

Well i know for sure its got to be something far less gay sounding than the list of pisstake names Harley give to their range. I mean, how the fuck do you tell someone you ride a "Bad Boy" with a straight face?
And a Duo Glide?? W.T F?? where do you stick that bad boy?
I notice an alarming overuse of the words Glide, Boy, Rod & Hugger in the Harley lineup, Coincedince?http://www.bikez.com/brand/harley-davidson_motorcycles.php Sounds more like a dildo catalogue than a bike one, complete with semi naked gay boy pictures interspersed throughout. My favourite would have to be the "Fat Boy Injection"

My cage is a Isuzu Bighorn....... I pulled the stickers off!:innocent:

Edit: I mean - I removed the stickers....

[wysper]

Do they ever?

Yes they do.

[awayatc]

But most importantly....:

make sure that you don't give a flying fuck about what anybody says or might think.....

Only those that haven't got enough of a life of their own tend to worry about what other people do....:scooter:

[chef]

add a pack of deisel brand burbon and cola, and LOVE tatoo on the knuckles

[Paulo]

Ha you been watching southpark Bren ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2qWtP3Rlds

[The Stranger]

Ducati riders check list:

1/ Credit card
2/ Condoms

What else do I need? :rofl:

A use for the condoms - oh wait that's what the credit card is for.

[Subike]

Harley rider pre-ride check off list:

1. Comb baseball player goatee and mustache
2. Spend 6- hours polishing gaudy chrome pieces. Be sure people can read the “Live to ride—ride to live” statement on gas tank lid.
3. Assure suspension can handle at least 560 pounds of rider
4. Pack cell phone and have tow service numbers programmed.
5. Look in mirror and perfect the “I’m a bad ass motherf*****” harley riding scowl.
6. Affix tassels from daughters bicycle to handle bars for added gay appearance.
7. Test flashers for when bike breaks down (99% probability)
8. Put on your wrist brace to help carpal tunnel from all of the unnecessary revving
9. Leather pants
10. Gloves
11. Wrap around sunglasses
12. Skull cap (German soldier type for the real badasses). Remember to think about the SAFETY aspect/argument of loud pipes as putting that potato chip on head. The real tough guys here will wear a bandana over their face (some with a skull) to look really scary----ooooh!
13. CAT work boots (new)
14. Leather vest with some “chapter” like: North chapter of pig f****** obese attention whore douche bags with fat ugly loud mouth wives.
15. HD t-shirt (of course). Because everyone needs to know what shop you paid $40 for a $5 hanes shirt at.
16. Remove baffles from pipes so EVERYONE can hear you going 18mph in 2nd gear at redline. Note: Most HD break down before hitting 2nd gear.
17. Starbucks gift card: This is usually your hangout--------------how tough.
18. Call friends with similar ridiculous motorcycle (WW2 outdated technology garbage) and pathetic store bought image (gay pirate from the Castro) attire. Have them ATTEMPT to meet you at the starbucks without breaking down or crashing due to being distracted from looking at themselves in their chrome.
19. Five packs of Marlboro reds to smoke while riding to look extra cool
20. Slam a 6 pack of Zima prior to ride.
21. Saddle bags attached to pick up and store broken parts that fall off bike as you ride/push (if you can call it riding without laughing) that hunk of **** down the road.
__________________

[Harry33]

Number 17 is pretty true. I have to go past a Starbucks every day to get to work and there is always a bunch of Harley's parked outside. I figure if you can afford a Harley, spending $3- 5 on a coffee's probably isn't to bad.

[Insanity_rules]

Hey Man- 92% of all Harleys ever made are still on the road- did you know that!?
The rest made it home.

There must be lots of piles of harley bits on the road then.

[Mandy]

Number 17 is pretty true. I have to go past a Starbucks every day to get to work and there is always a bunch of Harley's parked outside. I figure if you can afford a Harley, spending $3- 5 on a coffee's probably isn't to bad.


$3-$5? Have you ever been to starbucks? I dont think you can buy anything for $3 there...

Starbucks is like :buggerd: