slofox
8th December 2009, 14:52
If I get one more foreign accented, fractured English speaking female ringing me up to sell me something I don't need, I am going to tell her, in no uncertain terms, to FUCK OFF!
There have been about ten million of these in the past two weeks - the latest mere minutes ago - which is why I am typing this up to give myself time to cool before doing something that needs to be right....
Went something like this:
Phone: ring ring ring bloody ring!
Me: Hillcrest Fine Wines Good Afternoon (in melodious tones of course)
Her: (In her heavy accent probably calling from inner Mongolia) Is this Hillacresta Finer Wines?
Me: (thinks) I just fucking told ya that didnI? Says "yes"
Her: Does this business have a website that I can have a look at?
Me: Yes it does (and left it at that)
Her: Can you tell me the web address?
Me: Yes I can (and left THAT at that too...)
Her: (puzzled by now) Errrrmmm can you tell me the address?
Me: (baiting her mercilessly by now, the bitch) Yes I can...
Her: (after a pause) What is it then?
Me: Oh! just the firm name dot co dot nz....easy eh?
Her: (Repeats the name back)....Is that right?
Me: Yes. What are you trying to sell me? (This totally derails her...)
Her: Err..ahh...what?
Me: What are you SELLING? (you dumb fucking cow!)
Her: Oh. Nothing - We can offer you redesign your website (sic) an....(I jump in over the top here)
Me: Well look, save yourself the effort luvvy, I have a daughter who does web design (slight exaggeration here) and I also happen to have a very savvy young man (MisterKoz actually! Hey Adam!) who looks after all my IT requirements thank you very much all the same so you don't need to bother me any further DO YOU?
Her: ....(silence for a bit while the wheel slowly clicked around and around...) Ummm...well we can...(I chop in again)
Me: Thanks for your call though - very interesting!
Her: oh. well have a nice...
Me: BYEEEEEEE (CLICK!) (as I hang up)
Lucky she was out of reach - I wanted to shove her phone where the sun don't shine.....
Right, I feel better now...back to work.
There have been about ten million of these in the past two weeks - the latest mere minutes ago - which is why I am typing this up to give myself time to cool before doing something that needs to be right....
Went something like this:
Phone: ring ring ring bloody ring!
Me: Hillcrest Fine Wines Good Afternoon (in melodious tones of course)
Her: (In her heavy accent probably calling from inner Mongolia) Is this Hillacresta Finer Wines?
Me: (thinks) I just fucking told ya that didnI? Says "yes"
Her: Does this business have a website that I can have a look at?
Me: Yes it does (and left it at that)
Her: Can you tell me the web address?
Me: Yes I can (and left THAT at that too...)
Her: (puzzled by now) Errrrmmm can you tell me the address?
Me: (baiting her mercilessly by now, the bitch) Yes I can...
Her: (after a pause) What is it then?
Me: Oh! just the firm name dot co dot nz....easy eh?
Her: (Repeats the name back)....Is that right?
Me: Yes. What are you trying to sell me? (This totally derails her...)
Her: Err..ahh...what?
Me: What are you SELLING? (you dumb fucking cow!)
Her: Oh. Nothing - We can offer you redesign your website (sic) an....(I jump in over the top here)
Me: Well look, save yourself the effort luvvy, I have a daughter who does web design (slight exaggeration here) and I also happen to have a very savvy young man (MisterKoz actually! Hey Adam!) who looks after all my IT requirements thank you very much all the same so you don't need to bother me any further DO YOU?
Her: ....(silence for a bit while the wheel slowly clicked around and around...) Ummm...well we can...(I chop in again)
Me: Thanks for your call though - very interesting!
Her: oh. well have a nice...
Me: BYEEEEEEE (CLICK!) (as I hang up)
Lucky she was out of reach - I wanted to shove her phone where the sun don't shine.....
Right, I feel better now...back to work.