Ring?

[Ladydragon]

Ladies if you have been in a reletionship for thirteen years and you are happy:love: would you still expect a ring on your finger soon

[p.dath]

Best you ask yourself if it's been 13 years and that's what you want ...

[Mom]

Ladies if you have been in a reletionship for thirteen years and you are happy:love: would you still expect a ring on your finger soon

Interesting question. My answer is no. If I had been in a relationship of 13 years and I was still hanging out for a ring then there is no deep communication happening, and I would have been long gone.

I lived with my lovely man for many years. We of course had talked about the future for us,we agreed it was a long term relationship. We talked of marraige too. But it was not what we were about right now. I was unconcerned about our future, we had already made the commitment to each other by our words.

Then one day he asked me to marry him. Down on one knee, in public. I was completely blown away! We were married 4 months later. Best decision I have ever made. That aside, I would not have drifted along without a commitment. We had made our promises to each other long before we actually gathered our friends around us, made a public promise to one another and signed a bit of paper.

[XxKiTtiExX]

No because the reality is that I'll never get one.

On a side note, are you sure that a ring on the finger is something that your partner wants as much as you do?

[klingon]

Ladies if you have been in a reletionship for thirteen years and you are happy:love: would you still expect a ring on your finger soon

Hmmm... that is a good question!

For me, the answer is no. The ring is irrelevant.

But as Mom and XxKiTtiExX are implying, it may be what the ring represents that you are missing. Do you feel that the man in your life has committed to the relationship, or do you think having a ring would prove his committment?

[Mully]

.
I lived with my lovely man for many years. We of course had talked about the future for us,we agreed it was a long term relationship. We talked of marraige too. But it was not what we were about right now. I was unconcerned about our future, we had already made the commitment to each other by our words.


Does Maha know about this "lovely man"?

[Pussy]

Ladies if you have been in a reletionship for thirteen years and you are happy:love: would you still expect a ring on your finger soon

Don't rush your bloke.....

[Fatt Max]

Marrying Mrs Max was the second best decision I ever made.

Asking her was the first.

We were in London, she was on her OE (Mrs Max is a true blue kiwi girl). I know she wanted to go home and I was more than happy for that. I knew I would end up half way around the world leaving my home of 30 years, and all my family behind....

But I love her to bits...she is my rock, my soul mate and my best friend.

We knew each other for 3 years before we got wed, it was not about the ring, more the sealing of a commitement (plus we are a bit old fashioned like that) I even asjed her father for permission first (the scarist phone call of my life)

I know so many people who are happy together without the band of gold and good on em. It's all about who, what and why you are..

If you know the who's, what's and why's and you are happy with them, then just be happy.....life is too short....

I think the Beatles summed it up......All you need is love.....

Slushy post over now. Had a shit day today but seeing the missus and the wee man made all the bad stuff go away.

Over to you now for general piss taking....

[Ladydragon]

O don't get me wrong i'm very happy and it doesn't matter to me if I get a ring or not you dont have to have a ring to be happy.I am with the right man we have a lot in commen and when i've needed him (personal) matters hes been there for me and i've been there for him.

[Slyer]

Jeez, I hope the purpose of this thread isn't to indirectly tell your partner you what you want... They will probably end up reading this.

[hutchy52]

Ladies if you have been in a reletionship for thirteen years and you are happy:love: would you still expect a ring on your finger soon

Would you be happy with a finger in your ring? :buggerd:

[Thaeos]

Depends. Has the topic ever even come up?

[Ladydragon]

yes he said he would like to do the wedding like frosty did his with all the bikes but like I said i'm happy he tells me he loves me and thats enough for me to hear so I don't really need a ring.
Also 13 years is a big comittment

[Trudes]

OK, I'm going to say yes. Like you say, 13 years is a big commitment already, that's quite a chunk of life that you've already spent together and if you're planning on spending the rest of your lives together why not make it official. A ring is a token of the commitment, so if I'd been with someone that long and didn't have some kind of acknowledgement of that commitment I'd be wondering why.
Then again, I'm a little old fashioned when it comes to this kind of stuff, I think people put more thought into the type of car or bike they'll buy next than into making commitments to each other, and especially having kids.
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[crazyhorse]

Short answer............. Yip :innocent:

But it would depend if you mean marriage or just a ring of symbolism of your love. :done:

[Squiggles]

Jeez, I hope the purpose of this thread isn't to indirectly tell your partner you what you want... They will probably end up reading this.

I thought it was a prompt too :lol:

Hanne, i want a 6 pack of tui for xmas.

[Devil]

Speaking of single ladies...
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[Okey Dokey]

When me and Mr OD decided we would marry, he said "If you want a ring, go and get one." I did. Nice and simple. :sunny:

[alley cat]

Do you want the ring or the wedding? after 11 years i put my foot down and asked for a ring, just because i wanted one really. It put the family off our tails thinking we were kinda engadged. Dont plan to marry. Dont really see the point. :crazy:

[Skyryder]

So many think that the commitment is 'only' to the partner. While he/she is the one that it's made to their are other factors in a marrage ceromony that tend to be forgotten.


But when ya got daughter's it's pretty important for the man whose shagging her to stand up in public and say 'there'll be no one else.

Still each to their own and if either or both for any reason.....it's a no no...........


Skyryder

[LBD]

She says......18 months...2 years tops.

[imdying]

Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?

By that I mean, weddings are expensive, no man into bikes is looking to spend ten thousand dollars or more on something other than a bike! ;) :lol:

Tell him you're happy with the ring, a visit to the registry, and a week on a beach... the rest is just fluff for other people to enjoy.

[HenryDorsetCase]

25 years and counting of unmarried bliss here.

[duckonin]

Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?

By that I mean, weddings are expensive, no man into bikes is looking to spend ten thousand dollars or more on something other than a bike! ;) :lol:

Tell him you're happy with the ring, a visit to the registry, and a week on a beach... the rest is just fluff for other people to enjoy.

This from the biggest fucken jerk on Kiwibiker:angry2:

[Trudes]

Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?

By that I mean, weddings are expensive, no man into bikes is looking to spend ten thousand dollars or more on something other than a bike! ;) :lol:

Tell him you're happy with the ring, a visit to the registry, and a week on a beach... the rest is just fluff for other people to enjoy.

I agree actually.
Weddings are expensive and they generally are "fluff for other people to enjoy", I hardly remember our wedding day, was too busy making sure everyone else was having a good time. Wasn't a particularly expensive wedding as that's not our thing, but the costs still add up, and we both agree if we could do it over we'd piss off to Vegas, have 'Elvis' marry us and spend a shit load of money having fun instead.
At the end of the day, the wedding isn't the important part, it's the marriage and the commitment that is put into it that is the important bit.

[imdying]

we both agree if we could do it over we'd piss off to Vegas, have 'Elvis' marry us and spend a shit load of money having fun insteadHeh, amazing how many people feel that way :)

If the OP was younger (oooer, treading carefully there!) then a regular wedding might be just the ticket, but after 13 years together I'm guessing that you and your partner have already had some doozy knees ups with your mates yeah?

I know it sounds like I'm all about the money, and TBH I wouldn't change the wedding I had, but if I had married later in life after 13 years together, I'd rather be taking a big swipe at the mortgage instead (ok ok, I mean 'get another bike').

But in answer to the original question, from a guys perspective... after 13 years, no, I would not expect a ring, unless you ask for it. The status quo is always comfy, not like a man to change that without prompting.

[Slyer]

I agree actually.
Weddings are expensive and they generally are "fluff for other people to enjoy", I hardly remember our wedding day, was too busy making sure everyone else was having a good time. Wasn't a particularly expensive wedding as that's not our thing, but the costs still add up, and we both agree if we could do it over we'd piss off to Vegas, have 'Elvis' marry us and spend a shit load of money having fun instead.
At the end of the day, the wedding isn't the important part, it's the marriage and the commitment that is put into it that is the important bit.
If only the other 90% of women thought like you. ;)

[Stirts]

I'd rather be taking a big swipe at the mortgage instead (ok ok, I mean 'get another bike').

Most certainly agree ..... with the 'get another bike' part. Fuck paying the mortgage, there is no instant gratification in that!!


I would not expect a ring, unless you ask for it.

That's what I did. I knew what I wanted, and I asked. Got a "spose so" and now I have a ring on my finger.

[Trudes]

If only the other 90% of women thought like you. ;)

There are probably many women who think like this...... pity is, most of them are probably already married.... or bogans.:laugh: (cause we're all about the booze and the good times!)

[oldrider]

Interesting question. My answer is no. If I had been in a relationship of 13 years and I was still hanging out for a ring then there is no deep communication happening, and I would have been long gone.

I lived with my lovely man for many years. We of course had talked about the future for us,we agreed it was a long term relationship. We talked of marraige too. But it was not what we were about right now. I was unconcerned about our future, we had already made the commitment to each other by our words.

Then one day he asked me to marry him. Down on one knee, in public. I was completely blown away! We were married 4 months later. Best decision I have ever made. That aside, I would not have drifted along without a commitment. We had made our promises to each other long before we actually gathered our friends around us, made a public promise to one another and signed a bit of paper.

Hey, if you feel the need to test the waters again, give me a bell but please hurry, I'm running out of time! :devil2: :lol:

[MotoGirl]

I tend to think the ring is irrelevant after 13 years if you have not already agreed to get married and no steps have been made in that direction already. If he didn't want to be with you he would have left already - ring or no ring.

Cajun and I have been together for 12.5 years and, although it took us nearly 7 years to get hitched, we had decided to get married within 3 months of meeting. For us, the waiting was a matter of being old enough to get married without needing parental consent.

I also know couples that have been engaged for 10 years and have never had their wedding ceremony. If this happens to you is the ring really going to make a difference?

[Ladydragon]

Well we talked last night and have decied that we have been in a reletionship for 13 years and have been committed to each other for that long it's basicly like we are married we don't need rings we have made a life time commitment as it is.

I must admit it just blown me away how many people had different opinon on this thread

[SixPackBack]

Well we talked last night and have decied that we have been in a reletionship for 13 years and have been committed to each other for that long it's basicly like we are married we don't need rings we have made a life time commitment as it is.

I must admit it just blown me away how many people had different opinon on this thread

I honestly believe most blokes are ambivalent about marriage. I married my wife because it was important to her, and because I wanted her to hang around. If marriage had not been a big deal to her we would still be living in sin. 21 years next April and never been happier :hug:

[gatch]

Kind of related..

The origins of marriage never involved a formal document and the exchange of rings, it was based mostly on a mutual agreement between 2 people, basically by telling the people that surround you, that you love and are committed to each other and noone else, you are married.

I like that.

[boman]

Marrying my girlfriend of 8 years was the best thing I did. The way things worked out in the end, I would have been extremly gutted if we hadnot have done it. The day was for her, the cost irrelavent, it was what she wanted so we did it.

[AllanB]

13 years.

If it was extremely important to him he would have asked by now.

If it was extremely important to you, you would have pressed the point within the 13.


20 years married in February ...... just need to find a few $ to celebrate it now! :woohoo:

[FROSTY]

For me there were other (little) people involved. The wedding thing was for them and Jorja.

[LBD]

25 years and counting of unmarried bliss here.

I will see your 25 and raise you to 27 of mostly married bliss.....

[StoneY]

Been together 18 years, married 10 of them
Ups, downs, good times and hard, its all the great adventure

[marigami]

Well if you allow me to ask some questions about marriage and symbols in NZ.
As you see I am french and I do think we have quite the dsame kind of lives and uses but so far...
So if I understand it well the ring makes marriage or not?
Can't you be offered a ring (by ring do you mean simple ring band or "real" ring?) as a symbol or just because of love as a proof or as a present?
This is the point I just do not understand?
Or is that ring means proposal and marriage?
Lots of couple do link ring band with marriage but is is ONLY a symbol,I mean at least in Europe,it is not written in Laws that you have to wear ring band to get married.
You may if yuo want to.
Church has made it more important but everybody could wear a ring band or engagement ring whatever they want.
Some married couples don't wear any of these so it really depends.
So what are the uses regarding marriage in NZ ? Once again I do apologize for my lack of proper english vocabulary.
Please do correct me I nedd improving.

[klingon]

marigami, it is pretty mucht he same here in NZ as it is in France:

You do not need to have a ring to be married
The ring itself has no legal status
Many people are married but do not wear a ring (wedding rings are more commonly worn by women than men)
Many people wear rings but are not married (although you would usually only wear a ring on the second finger of your left hand to indicate that you are married, engaged, or at least in a committed relationship)

[LBD]

marigami, it is pretty mucht he same here in NZ as it is in France:

You do not need to have a ring to be married
The ring itself has no legal status
Many people are married but do not wear a ring (wedding rings are more commonly worn by women than men)
Many people wear rings but are not married (although you would usually only wear a ring on the second finger of your left hand to indicate that you are married, engaged, or at least in a committed relationship)



We wear rings to tell others we are taken and to confirm our vows to each other that we are each others....

I often do not wear a ring, but this purely out of health and safety concerns with mechanical trades.