If you go down to the woods today you're sure of a big surprise!

[martybabe]

I've taken to walking the dog in a local forest recently. Normally the little runt wont leave my side, constantly begging for me to throw stones and stuff but once in a while she'll take off to investigate a noise or a smell that are beyond my senses and it usually ends up being interesting, so occasionally, if I can be arsed, I give chase.

A couple of days ago, from the corner of my eye I spotted a large furry thing dart behind the bushes, the dog went to investigate but it came to nothing, don't know what it was but it was a big thing and fast, maybees a wild pig/boar thing.

Anyway, in roughly the same area Today, the hound of the dopeyvilles shot off into the bush and in light of recent events I thought it was worth a looksee so I followed sharpish.

She started wagging her tail as she ducked behind some cover and there was suddenly a lot of commotion so I had a bit of a panic thinking she'd found the aforementioned mysterious beast and it was to big a job for a stupid old staffy.

I don't shock easily but when the largish woman shot up resplendent in a party frock hoist above her hips with one rather large naked breast winking at me I thought aye aye, this isn't yer normal occurrence at 7.30 am on a Tuesday morning dog walk.:laugh:

"Good morning" I said, as casual as I could, "How are you" she said, like she really gave a toss as she hastily tried to put the wayward mammary back in it's holster. I shouted at the jumping dog so we could do a discreet exit stage left just as an equally well dressed but dishevelled fellah stood up with a bed roll under his arm, head down in extreme embarrassment, he grunted at me and pointed out a track to his lady like they were just out for a tramp and had suddenly found the track they were looking for. They marched off at double speed with Grass falling from the bed roll and their hair, with her chuckling and adjusting her dress and him just glaring at the ground wishing it would open up and swallow him.

Funny as fuck but funnier still was, I know this forest pretty well, the track they had shot down so hastily in their embarrassment, was one of many circular mountain bike tracks. As I stood there with tears rolling down my face they appeared and disappeared periodically behind the trees at break neck speed looking for an exit that would relieve them of this horror but all the time they were headed for the exact same spot they had left a few moments before, the exact same spot me and the dog were in :rofl:

As they broke the cover of the trees she burst out laughing and he went oh fer fucks sake, I swear even the dog was laughing as they hastily took another track towards salvation. Fucking marvellous fun, I'm still laughing now, hours after the event. :killingme

Totally true, you may even know them, they were in a light blue metallic BMW heading south from New Plymouth at about 200kph when I last saw them.

Hope you all have a Happy and fun filled Xmas, mines off to a good start :D

[Dean]

Wonder what it would be like on top of Mt Taranaki, I could say I came short of joining the 'mile high club'.

If that were a wild pig/boar you wouldnt of been typing up this thread right now, know your forests and whats in it!

[Big Dan]

photos or it didn't happen - lol

[Genie]

oh now that's a cool story...lucky buggars off communing with nature!

[martybabe]

, know your forests and whats in it!

Well I know what's in them now eh. :shifty:


photos or it didn't happen - lol

I wish, I was there and I still can't quite believe it!


oh now that's a cool story...lucky buggars off communing with nature!

Extremely lucky until sniffed out by a stinky staffy dog :niceone:

[Tank]

Wonder what it would be like on top of Mt Taranaki, I could say I came short of joining the 'mile high club'.

If that were a wild pig/boar you wouldnt of been typing up this thread right now, know your forests and whats in it!

I see a fail for you in geography and maths as Mt Egmont is 2518 mtrs - 1.56 miles.

[Stirts]

he grunted at me..........him just glaring at the ground wishing it would open up and swallow him........he went oh fer fucks sake....

Sounds like you stumpled accross a rather unfortunate male homo sapien, unable to utilise his natural system of communication for self-expression due to cerebral hypoxia from the canis familaris crossbred female homo sapien, but also suffering a severe case of cerebral ischemia due to the untimely interuption of his prefered relief method.

yes i am farken bored at work

[Genie]

Sounds like you stumpled accross a rather unfortunate male homo sapien, unable to utilise his natural system of communication for self-expression due to cerebral hypoxia from the canis familaris crossbred female homo sapien, but also suffering a severe case of cerebral ischemia due to the untimely interuption of his prefered relief method.

yes i am farken bored at work

no...they were just horny

[martybabe]

Sounds like you stumpled accross a rather unfortunate male homo sapien, unable to utilise his natural system of communication for self-expression due to cerebral hypoxia from the canis familaris crossbred female homo sapien, but also suffering a severe case of cerebral ischemia due to the untimely interuption of his prefered relief method.

yes i am farken bored at work

Do you know that's almost word for word what I was thinking :yes:


no...they were just horny

Probably still are :laugh:

Apart from the fact it was an unusual sight for a mundane dog walk, their clothes still leave me wondering what the full story was. Dressy up/going out clothes in the middle of a forest at 7.30am, Had they been there all night? It's a notorious spot for people chopping down and nicking Christmas trees at this time of year, I can't help wondering if they were disturbed by mad axe men over night, that'd dampen yer ardour eh. :bash:

[Dean]

Martybabe I got a good question for ya.

What would you of done if two most hot women jumped out of the bushes roughly wearing what you described but a bit better and they asked for your help on something.

[Big Dan]

Martybabe I got a good question for ya.

What would you of done if two most hot women jumped out of the bushes roughly wearing what you described but a bit better and they asked for your help on something.

he'd either faint or choke on his words or wake up :rockon:

[martybabe]

Martybabe I got a good question for ya.

What would you of done if two most hot women jumped out of the bushes roughly wearing what you described but a bit better and they asked for your help on something.

I can but refer you to another true story a loong time ago.

I was locked in a sports equipment shed by three older girlies who thought it would be a laugh to give an innocent young lad an anatomy lesson. As the clothes came off and I saw things I hadn't even imagined had existed, toot toots and lady bumps, I went into a mild state of shock and awe .

some one opened the shed door from outside and as the bright sunlight hit my soiled eyes, I made a bolt for it and kept running till I got home :laugh: Sadly, much as I'd like to say I'd show them the time of their lives, I fail to see that your scenario would have ended any differently . Dem Womens is fookin scary man!

[crazyhorse]

I think its hilarious - esp at 7 am in the morning, they are probably both having affairs, and getting one in before the Christmas break LOL

[avgas]

what a boob

[Mikkel]

Well, if they stopped because of that it can't really have been good sex...

Top marks to the lady involved though.

[DMCD]

Haha best story ever!

[Genie]

Martybabe I got a good question for ya.

What would you of done if two most hot women jumped out of the bushes roughly wearing what you described but a bit better and they asked for your help on something.

umm....said good morning, lovely day for it!

[Dean]

+1 for the story!

You came close to the model answer being to tell the women to put some clothes on and give them a good lecture on being respectable members of society. Then ask if you can speak to their mother about their rotten provacative behaviour.

[Blackbird]

I was locked in a sports equipment shed by three older girlies who thought it would be a laugh to give an innocent young lad an anatomy lesson. As the clothes came off and I saw things I hadn't even imagined had existed, toot toots and lady bumps, I went into a mild state of shock and awe .



Same with 2 older female cousins when I was about 11. Terrified and don't think I got over it for a good few years.

Something we can only fantasize about now, eh? :blink:

[wbks]

Same with 2 older female cousins when I was about 11. Terrified and don't think I got over it for a good few years.

Something we can only fantasize about now, eh? :blink::eek5:
........





WHAT?!:sick:

[martybabe]

Same with 2 older female cousins when I was about 11. Terrified and don't think I got over it for a good few years.

Something we can only fantasize about now, eh? :blink:

Too right Mate, what was I thinking! Truth is if I had my time over I'd probably still run away. Intelligent boy but very slow on the uptake with some things me old teacher said, these must have been the some things he was alluding to eh.:yes:

[Mom]

Probably still are :laugh:

Bloody tough getting interrupted, you should have hung back for a little bit longer to see what state they were in then. Hasty, horny sex in the bushes, when fully clothed in going out gears at that time of the day, they must have been hanging out! Too funny though.

[Genie]

Bloody tough getting interrupted, you should have hung back for a little bit longer to see what state they were in then. Hasty, horny sex in the bushes, when fully clothed in going out gears at that time of the day, they must have been hanging out! Too funny though.

Just as well he didn't hang back a little bit longer....he'd be done for perving!!!!

[Ronin]

+1 for the story!

You came close to the model answer being to tell the women to put some clothes on and give them a good lecture on being respectable members of society. Then ask if you can speak to their mother about their rotten provacative behaviour.

Oh dear..... Oh deary deary me.

[martybabe]

Bloody tough getting interrupted, you should have hung back for a little bit longer to see what state they were in then.

Honestly I didn't have a clue, I ran to find the dog with nothing on my mind but wild pig goring images, you could have knocked me over with a feather when a half naked woman jumped up in front of me, last thing I was expecting, fair old pink pillow though :gob:

[Maha]

Just as well he didn't hang back a little bit longer....he'd be done for perving!!!!

Perving??

I tend to skim read and all I got from post one was...

'' A little runt or large funny wild pig gave a toss preiodically behind the tress''....

[Fatt Max]

Some bush in the bush

Brilliant stuff mate

[Genie]

Perving??

I tend to skim read and all I got from post one was...

'' A little runt or large funny wild pig gave a toss preiodically behind the tress''....

giving a periodic toss or having a periodic toss????

[Maha]

giving a periodic toss or having a periodic toss????

Gave.....past tense, 'giving' would mean its still doing it which clearly it is not.

[wbks]

+1 for the story!

You came close to the model answer being to tell the women to put some clothes on and give them a good lecture on being respectable members of society. Then ask if you can speak to their mother about their rotten provacative behaviour.http://www.trademe.co.nz/Browse/CategoryAttributeSearchResults.aspx?search=1&mcat=0001-0026-1255-&sidebar=1&39=&40=Honda&153=&9=0&9=0&24=0&24=0&51=0&51=0
I suggest you change your bike, you do a good job of the KB Maori stereotype, but your yamaha is lacking for this one

[Dean]

I suggest you change your bike, you do a good job of the KB Maori stereotype, but your yamaha is lacking for this one

ahahaaha look its a honda: http://www.trademe.co.nz/Trade-Me-Motors/Motorbikes/Motorbikes/Quads-ATVs/photos/a-260376831/p-114465723.htm
Do you see a trend here?

[wbks]

ahahaaha look its a honda: http://www.trademe.co.nz/Trade-Me-Motors/Motorbikes/Motorbikes/Quads-ATVs/photos/a-260376831/p-114465723.htm
Do you see a trend here?Once again I'm wondering what the fuck your point is and how the fuck you came across that picture

[Dean]

Once again I'm wondering what the fuck your point is and how the fuck you came across that picture

Easy, easy there's no need for swearing lets keep this PG please.
If you dont get it, then you wont realise it.

[wbks]

If you dont get it, then you wont realise it.no shit...

[Pixie]

As they broke the cover of the trees she burst out laughing and he went oh fer fucks sake, I swear even the dog was laughing as they hastily took another track towards salvation. Fucking marvellous fun, I'm still laughing now, hours after the event. :killingme

Does your dog sound like this when she laughs?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZm47SrmuwM&feature=related

[martybabe]

Does your dog sound like this when she laughs?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZm47SrmuwM&feature=related


:lol: She does too, like she's been on the smokes for twenty years.

Well I've been to the forest this morning but unfortunately nothing at all happened, how boring is that.

Take it easy folks, have a peaceful and happy Christmas From Martybabe and Family. x

[Pixie]

Couple Surprised by Dog While Dogging Shock!