Getting your money back?

[mynameis]

How would you go about getting your money back that you loaned to a friend who was in need and hasn't paid back in more than a year?

Legally I mean, as repeated attempts have failed.

[ukusa]

obviously not really a friend to do that to you. Maybe having a word to a reli of theirs to put the pressure on.

[geoffc]

Go to your local Citizens Advice Bureau. They can tee up some free legal advice for you or try the Community Law Office who are also free. Good luck.

[mynameis]

obviously not really a friend to do that to you. Maybe having a word to a reli of theirs to put the pressure on.

Yeah I know her and the husband well and don't really feel too comfortable putting pressure on aye. Just not me. However I have reminded her a few times now and hear the same thing. I'll pay you next pay time.

She's not the only mate who owes me money but this year I've decided to get back as much money I have loaned !!


Go to your local Citizens Advice Bureau. They can tee up some free legal advice for you or try the Community Law Office who are also free. Good luck.

Yeah tried couple of centres they are still off.

[rainman]

Well, is he/she not paying because they're skint, or because they're just being a prick?
Have they offered any credible excuses for not paying?
Have they offered part payment, or an instalment plan?
Do you think you can shame them into paying?
Most importantly: Is it a lot of money? If not, it's not worth collecting. If it is, there are options if you can prove the loan exists formally - like as in if there's a loan contract of some form, or they will admit to the existence of the loan. These will cost you money, of course.

And if you lent a lot of money to a friend on a handshake, well, I believe that's called a learning experience.

[Tashad]

well - I used to be a debt collector (seriously... I was). Loans like this are always a bit tricky. A few things:
how long ago did you loan the money - if more than 5 years, you can't do anything about it.
do you have evidence of the loan (bank statment showing a withdrawal isn't really enough. You really should have something signed by your friend acknowledging the debt)

Your could employ a debt recovery agency (there are lots around) as even if you don't have evidence they may still take it on a a visit or phone call may be intimidating enough to get some action. Be aware though - some charge like wounded bulls so look for one that will only charge for a result or just for whatever service they provide (calls or visits etc).

Lodging a default with baycorp would be the laast option, but you can only do this with strong eveidence (like an invoice) and eveidence of your attempts to collect. Plus it is a bit colstly and depending on how much the loan was for, may not be worth.

Sometimes these things just need to be chalked up to experience.

[mynameis]

Well, is he/she not paying because they're skint, or because they're just being a prick?
Have they offered any credible excuses for not paying?
Have they offered part payment, or an instalment plan?
Do you think you can shame them into paying?
Most importantly: Is it a lot of money? If not, it's not worth collecting. If it is, there are options if you can prove the loan exists formally - like as in if there's a loan contract of some form, or they will admit to the existence of the loan. These will cost you money, of course.

And if you lent a lot of money to a friend on a handshake, well, I believe that's called a learning experience.

Just being a prick as she's on 70k and husband is on 100k but lead pretty silly lifestyle and blow money like it's nothing. Who would rent a 4 bedroom house for $800 a week.

No excuse, I don't have money.

I don't really know how I would go about getting it back hence the thread. I don't like turning nasty or putting pressure on people I know.

Not a lot to them but a lot to me. Few hundred dollars but less than a thousand. That's money to me.

There is proof, she used my credit card and I have statements and emails to prove it.

[F5 Dave]

All you can do is say to them ok now I need this money back, lets set up a autopayment $25 a month or whatever.

People will always spend what they make & 4%. Thus they will never have the money to pay you back so it's best for them to keep their head in the sand & ignore the issue irrespective of how 'fair' it is. I've written off debts before as I know I'd never see the money back. At some stage you have to do that & learn never to lend substantial money again.

I had a friend that was owed a lot of money by friends & she borrowed some from me to pay her staff of her failing business. I did a ring around to guilt these friends but they were deadbeats & no money was forthcoming. With depression type behavior work has been such (ie she's been unenployed a lot or crap jobs) that I've never seen any money back.

Good luck but I don't fancy your chances. Other people will always justify their own finances over yours.

[edit seen last post: need to get into them for higher payments, but they will never save anything so don't ever ask for bulk payment, you won't get it]

[mynameis]

well - I used to be a debt collector (seriously... I was). Loans like this are always a bit tricky. A few things:
how long ago did you loan the money - if more than 5 years, you can't do anything about it.
do you have evidence of the loan (bank statment showing a withdrawal isn't really enough. You really should have something signed by your friend acknowledging the debt)

Your could employ a debt recovery agency (there are lots around) as even if you don't have evidence they may still take it on a a visit or phone call may be intimidating enough to get some action. Be aware though - some charge like wounded bulls so look for one that will only charge for a result or just for whatever service they provide (calls or visits etc).

Lodging a default with baycorp would be the laast option, but you can only do this with strong eveidence (like an invoice) and eveidence of your attempts to collect. Plus it is a bit colstly and depending on how much the loan was for, may not be worth.

Sometimes these things just need to be chalked up to experience.

Thanks can you give me some specifics?

I've got credit card statements and emails saying she will pay (which is evidence she owes me). I've thought of being sneaky and calling her and recording the convo as I am tired of being taken advantage of.

It was 1.5 years ago. Any indication on how much they would charge??

How much would baycorp charge?

She's now in Christchurch.

[Usarka]

Small Claims Court won't be a go-er 'cause you can only go there if they actually dispute the debt. Sounds like they don't dispute it but need a kick in the nuts.

You're post makes it sound like you've been too relaxed about it (might be wrong). Have you tried the direct approach.....

Arrange to meet.
State that you've been waiting xxxxx weeks for $xxxxxx and that you're having financial issues you need to deal with
Wait to hear what they say
If it's not what you want to hear, ask for a solution and both agree on it
If they reneg again burn the fuckers house down.

[mynameis]

All you can do is say to them ok now I need this money back, lets set up a autopayment $25 a month or whatever.

People will always spend what they make & 4%. Thus they will never have the money to pay you back so it's best for them to keep their head in the sand & ignore the issue irrespective of how 'fair' it is. I've written off debts before as I know I'd never see the money back. At some stage you have to do that & learn never to lend substantial money again.

I had a friend that was owed a lot of money by friends & she borrowed some from me to pay her staff of her failing business. I did a ring around to guilt these friends but they were deadbeats & no money was forthcoming. With depression type behavior work has been such that I've never seen any money back.

Good luck but I don't fancy your chances. Other people will always justify their own finances over yours.

[edit seen last post: need to get into them for higher payments, but they will never save anything so don't ever ask for bulk payment, you won't get it]

:( Yeah lesson learnt, last year I did not loan any one any money.

I have written money off too but with friends who are poor fuckers not like these guys.

I asked for smaller increments didn't work.

[Tank]

I've got credit card statements and emails saying she will pay

So you have proof that the goods belong to you and that you paid for them.

Id ask for the goods back to recover the bad debt - or just go collect them

[Deano]

Steal, I mean repo some shit off them to the value of the money you are owed.

Simple.

No one needs friends like that.

[mynameis]

Small Claims Court won't be a go-er 'cause you can only go there if they actually dispute the debt. Sounds like they don't dispute it but need a kick in the nuts.

You're post makes it sound like you've been too relaxed about it (might be wrong). Have you tried the direct approach.....

Arrange to meet.
State that you've been waiting xxxxx weeks for $xxxxxx and that you're having financial issues you need to deal with
Wait to hear what they say
If it's not what you want to hear, ask for a solution and both agree on it
If they reneg again burn the fuckers house down.

So what are my legal options? Debt collectors only as suggested above.

I've told her nicely many times I need the money to be paid back to me as I helped her out in good faith when she needed it. Her husband knows me as well and he knows well but they haven't paid back.

Yeah I have been soft but I'd rather let someone else do the hard/dirty work for me that's why I wana just take it down the legal track and let the "system" deal with her not me.


So you have proof that the goods belong to you and that you paid for them.

Id ask for the goods back to recover the bad debt - or just go collect them

Not goods I loaned her money $$


Steal, I mean repo some shit off them to the value of the money you are owed.

Simple.

No one needs friends like that.

: playnice :

[duckonin]

Been there done that it is hard, more so when they 'were' good mates, now not so good, really is better to avoid lending at all, but hell really if they are on $70+$100g a year shit me what is the problem ? hell wife and I and many others in this country survive on $35g a year some on less...

[phred]

How would you go about getting your money back that you loaned to a friend who was in need and hasn't paid back in more than a year?

Legally I mean, as repeated attempts have failed.

Time to harden up. They aren't your freinds if they won't pay their debts when they clearly should be able to. You should not feel any qualms about putting on some pressure. They are lucky it isn't the bank they are dealing with.

Be fair but be firm.

[mynameis]

Been there done that it is hard, more so when they 'were' good mates, now not so good, really is better to avoid lending at all, but hell really if they are on $70+$100g a year shit me what is the problem ? hell wife and I and many others in this country survive on $35g a year some on less...

I know but like I said before they are stupid with their money, who spends $800 a week on rent? I was the one who got him the 100k IT role when I was in Recruitment. Grr !!

[Deano]

: playnice :

Is your friend playing 'nice' ?

Do unto others is my motto.

[Slyer]

Ask them for a loan.

[Dave Lobster]

I know but like I said before they are stupid with their money,

Pfft.. not your problem.

[steve_t]

From now on, only communicate regarding the debt in writing, probably email. Once you've got a confirmation of the debt, start imposing your own time line for payment. Probably start with a date by which the entire amount must be paid, but also suggest that if they need to pay in installments, that they need to arrange that with you. Once they don't meet these fair and reasonable payment obligations, look at citizens advice, debt collection or possibly a disputes tribunal lodgement

[Love my Bonnie]

Just borrow something of her and sell it on trade me

Alls fair in love & war honey

[Sensei]

People paid me to get their money etc back one way or the other & most of the time it was their " Mate's " You either want your money or not ! If you want it then do what ever it takes & don't worry how it's done or stop CRYING about it & write it off .

[220 Ohms]

You could try getting a lawyer to send them a letter, not threatening anything just a letter asking for the money but on a legal firms letterhead.

[FROSTY]

mate its not what you say its how you say it.
Its pretty clearcut YOU need to grow some balls (in this situation).
Frankly your "freind" is taking the piss and In my opinion if they intended to pay you back they would have by now.
So the easiest way is to work out on paper a payment structure that is affordable.don't forget to load in the interest component on that money -someone had to pay it and it shouldn't be you.
Present the payment structure to them and ask which WEEK they want to start payments THIS week or NEXT?
Their intentions re the money will become really clear really fast
If they plead poverty then I'm happy to help organise a personal loan for them to pay you backin full

[BMWST?]

earning 170g between them 800 bucks a week is not much....tel them you need the money NOW,not next week not next month but now...if they say sorry cant say i will have your big screen tv thanks NOW!.....I lent a mate some money last xmas....have only got half back.Its the first and last time i will lend a "friend" money.I am old enough to know better..These people know you are too nice.Get one of the christchurch boys(or two) to ask for the money late one wednesday or thursday night..

[crazyhorse]

How would you go about getting your money back that you loaned to a friend who was in need and hasn't paid back in more than a year?

Legally I mean, as repeated attempts have failed.

I did exactly that too - but wrote up an agreement and we both signed it. However, she ran over the time frame, but did infact pay it back - in bits. No interest , not even a bottle of wine or chocolates as a thank you. Won't do it again. That's for sure.

I guess you would need to go to a debt collector - depending on the amount of money outstanding. The other thought I would have, is if you have a friend who is a policman, see if you could get them to go pay a visit - scare tactics often do work..... all the best :)

[JellyBellyKelly]

i'm in credit control, if you wanted to go down the collection agency route, you prob wouldn't have much luck as you don't have a signed document. If you wanted some advice, i'd suggest calling MFL (Mike Farr Ltd) as they are much better than Baycorp (now called Veda).

Best thing to do, if you're uncomfortable asking for money, is to get a close friend to call them and say you have enquired about debt recovery and this is just a "pre-emptive" call to set up an acceptable repayment arrangement (eg $50 a week for next ... weeks), or full payment due by ...., otherwise "further action may be taken to recover this debt". This has worked for me in the past as the threat (worded nicely) is enough to get some action.

good luck

[Tashad]

if you were my client i would:

1) ask you to formally request payment from them in writing.state clear terms (like a set payment arrangement or date the funds are to be paid by). You need to make sure this is specific including how much is owed, when it was borrowed and what you believe the original agreement was in terms of repayment. You also need to ask for their response in writing as well. You need to state that you intend to take credit action if they do not meet the terms laid out in the letter.

If they do not do anything after this then:
2) collate all you emails and bank statements/credit card statements
3) work out what they acutally owe you. If this is on your credit card, then you can include any interest incurred.
4) approach a debt collection agency (not Baycorp at this stage - i would suggest have a look around your area as if you want them to visit, it is easier if they are in the neighbourhood so to speak.)
5) provide all the eveidence you have above. Costs can vary from a fixed amount to a %age of what is recovered. Visits would be about $120
6) give the agency a time frame to work. in they haven't been able to rcover in say 1 month, ask thenm to oldge with Baycorp (if you want to do this) It will be about $80 to lodge a default with them.

hope this helps. - PS I thas ben a while - my costs might be slightly out, but hopefully not too much...

Good luck!

[Dodgyiti]

I would take something of theirs same value that I like, or is easy resale. If they say anything, I would tell them that they have reduced me to reposession.

[scumdog]

A talk bit of 'publicity' (bad credt rating etc) may work.

But tell them your nice mate Frosty will organise a nice personal loan for them so they can pay you back right away.

And let us know what they say.

[awayatc]

want me to knock on their door and "ask" for your money back on your behalf?
It may somehow jeopardise "the friendship" a bit though.......

doesn't sound like a great loss to me.......

[davereid]

It may be difficult to go down the debt collection path as you have no written evidence that they owe you the money, or of the exact arrangement.

Did you expect them to pay it back within a preset time frame and were they aware of that, did they understand they were going to pay interest, and what the rate was etc etc ?

But you may be able to get them to confirm the arrangement.

Email them, stating your recollection of events - I loaned you $1000 to tide you over while Fred got bail, you agreed to repay $1200 as soon as he got out, you have reneged.

1) They may reply and say "yeah, so what jump in the lake." Then you may have enough evidence to at least start collecting the debt.
2) They may reply and say, nope, you never said anything about interest. This at least confirms the debt, and now you have a dispute, which can be taken to the disputes tribunal, job done.

Good luck.. !

[Deano]

You could try getting a lawyer to send them a letter, not threatening anything just a letter asking for the money but on a legal firms letterhead.

Which is throwing bad money after.....well more bad money.

Are these people really your friends or just some wankers mugging you off ? Having a laugh at your expense ? Real friends would not take you for a ride.

Either get serious with them about your money or give it up and let it go and learn from the experience.

[Winston001]

How would you go about getting your money back that you loaned to a friend who was in need and hasn't paid back in more than a year?

Legally I mean, as repeated attempts have failed.

You are a kind person who helps others. It is a nasty experience to learn that "others" are not always as reliable. To be honest, you are being used and disrespected by your "friend". You have no need to feel guilty or be uncomfortable. You have done nothing wrong.

The loan is not enough to go to a lawyer over. Unless there is a argument, the Disputes Tribunal won't help. Which leaves you with debt collection agencies or other methods.......such as a visit from Awayatc or someone.....

The one thing you must do is retain your dignity. Don't get angry, or embarrased, or feel awkward. Be calm and firm. I'd expect $100/wk from this person - tell them at the same time as delivering a note in writing. Provide them with an auto payment authority.

After 25 years of experience of what money can do to people I can only repeat the old adage - Neither a borrower nor a lender be.

[pete376403]

I was told a looong time ago - lend money to friends - you loose you money and your friends. Sounds like nothing has changed

[Milts]

How much effort do you think it will get them to pay? How about getting some KBer you know and trust, but is a person unknown to them, to call them and claim to be a repo agency. If you think just the threat of it will get you the money, then you could try that and not end up paying any fees.
If you don't think that will work, it's sounding like a repo agent is your only real choice.

[jimichelle]

if you want to remain "friends" write it off and note to yourself never lend them anything again
if you want your money well do what you think will work with the ideas in this thread

[mynameis]

Thanks again guys some really good advice there.

[huff3r]

Thanks again guys some really good advice there.

And most importantly, let us know how you get on :)

Best of luck!

[Genie]

Been there too...lesson to be learnt by you. It's a hard one and when it's money and you need well fuck.
They are not your friends either, they have taken advantage of your kind nature....go find some real friends that have respect for you. As one poster wrote....get tough on them, don't let them walk all over you...they owe the money and it's time to pay up.

good luck.