The Latest Heath Robinsonian Creation

[vifferman]

Howdy, KiwBikerzzz!

As threatened, here is a quick rundown of my latest el cheapo aid to maintaining a bike.
Previous creations from CheapBastidProductions include:


The CheapBastid HandyDandyLeverTieCumEmergencyHandbrake
The CheapBastidToolRoll
The CheapBastidRearAxleStand, Mk1 (the New! Improved! Mk2 version was gifted to one jrandom, and hopefully inherited along with the Zeal by one Young Ms. Joni)
The CheapBastidWheelProtector, for chain erling operations.
While fitting a 'new' (actually ex-FahrtSturm) 16T front sprocket to the VifFerraRi, I noticed how cruddy the chain was becoming, so I thought it time to solidify some ideas that had been rattling around in my head for some time, to whit (to whoo), summat to help me with CleaningAndErlingTheChainWiddoutMakingAFookinGreat Mess.

So, I trawled through the assorted 'treasure' in my gargre that some MessyMagpie had accumulated. My initial idea was to construct the DeviceForCleaningAndErlingTheChainWiddoutMakingAFo okinGreatMess from some a length of wastepipe I'd stored in the rafters, but then I realised I'd have to spend some actual money to buy a joint (of the plumbing kind) or two, and that went against all that my Scottish forbears bequeathed to me in the way of miserliness. So, more frantic scrabbling ensued, and after a short bit of cutting, sawing, drilling and so forth, this was the result.

[vifferman]

Eh, Mister, What does it do?!?
Well, it enables one to clean and/or lubricate the drivechain without making a mess.

Wotzit made of?
Well, some moons ago, I was a kiwifruit picker/packer/tractor driver/ palletizer and a great many other things as well, for my father-in-law. The metal bit is part of one of the galvanised corner thingos ( technical term) used when palletising a great big stack of kiwifruit trays for cool storage.
The wood is a piece of wood, and the base is a piece of a (temporary) drawer front I made for our last kitchen before the rimu ones were ready.
The beast is held together by 2 100mm tech screws, two 50mm tech screws, and numerous rivets. The soft plastic flexible thing is made from a soft, plastic flexible milk bottle.

Does it work?
Yuip.
Immediately after I finished this prototype, I cleaned my chain using an old paintbrush, a bottle of kero, and some elbow grease. The kero washed all the road spooge and old chainwax off, and into the container, for decanting and reuse. None (zero, nada, zip) went on the wheel or the concrete, or anywhere else (at least, until I got overly enthusiastic about this cleaning thing, and cleaned the centrestand and that. OOps...

Wotzit cost?
Nothing. Made it out of assorted crap (see "Wotzit made of").
But it's worth HEAPS.

And...?
Then, once the chain was dry (helped by wiping it with a cloth, I used the same device to apply Spectro Chain Wax, carefully, link by link, which is why the chain is still sparkly and nice.

Oh yeah - and I removed that black plastic thingo (technical term) which is actually called an Air Guide before the cleaning. (I dunno why it's called that - I think it's really a BlackPlasticDooferToStopErrantBodyPartsFromBeingEa tenByTheBackSprocket.)

And I also readjusted the chain tension (very, very, very difficult: loosen the rear hub's nut, stick the C-wrench on, rotate slightly, retighten nut, done.)

And I also set my suspension sag properly for the first time ever, with the aid of a cable tie, a 1-metre aluminium ruler, and No.2 son. :yes:

[vifferman]

Nah, I'm just used to making do with trying not to spend money.
It bites me on the bum sometimes though, like today.
The 205 GTi had a bum alternator, which I thought I'd fixed, by bypassing a suss bit of wiring. Turned out that although that was part of the fault, the alternator's regulator was crap, and I got stranded till the AA gave me a jump start.
Then I was replacing the HP fuel line to the injectors. The mechanic told me it was stuffed, but after cutting it off to put a new one on, I discovered it was only the flange at the end leaking. :mad:
And the new pipe the hydraulic dude told my son would be fine, isn't, becuase the original isn't just petrol-proof pipe, it's a plastic liner, swaged onto the end joints, with a rubber sleeve over the top. So, I spend freakin' ages sorting this and the alternator out, thinking I'm being good tryin to save money (Peugeot parts are very expensive), and I get into trouble because my Goodly Wife can't be bothered asking me to stop and go get some pizza, then abuses me for being busy. Grrrrrr....

Bum bitten.
Car off to auto-electrician, and maybe hydraulic dude.

[Brian d marge]

I myself find chain cleaning a bore .....yet I will go to extreme lengths to make the old one last .......
Even ,,,,,,cleaning the old one !.....and as I ride mx ..the sand and crap mx together and ..take my beer tokens away ......
So
I started to clean my chain ...and after 0.0001 of a sec ( my attention span for things I dont like ) ...I brought in re enforcements ,,,,,, :devil2:

1 a black and decker ...( boring no fun )
2 A dremel on steriods :shit: ( actually its an straight angle grinder 20 k rpm and a drill bit end ....( I know these wire brushes are only rated for 600rpm ....) :eek:

I was too scared to use the munta ,,,,(we have a hole in the spare bedroom floor where I started this thing up and the shaft bent of the bit that was in there ..fearing for my life I dropped it dived out the door and shut the door ,,reached in and pulled the plug,,,,,I put a bit of carpet over it ,,so the missus wont notice,,,, :devil2: so I settled for the b and d ...with a brass wire brush in it ...,,,Started off using brake clean ..but thats 2 expensive so I used kero in an old spray bottle.... :bash:

bike on stand ..( in my case chain was off) ,,,1st gear sit brush on chain ....squrt with kero ..2 min later ALL the rollers are rolling freely 90 of crud off ...garage on fire ...missus upset ...BUT the chain was clean very clean ...ALL rollers rolling freely ........
The only dirt it didnt remove is the crap on the side plates between the rollers ....and I am not sitting there with a toothpick trying to remove that,,,,, :brick:
You could use diesil ,,,we use kero for heating and the neighbours have a 200 litre tank of the stuff.... :sly:
Anyway coupled with the cleaning stand ,,,u would be home and hosed ....the cleaner the chain the longer it lasts... :niceone:
I got 15k out of my chain on the enfield and tha was cheap black of the roll of about 30 dollars ,,u cant sneeze at that .......
Stephen

[Ghost Lemur]

Classy work there Vifferman, your forebearers would be mighty proud. :msn-wink:

So what's next?

[erik]

Nice work :niceone:
I have to admit, I haven't cleaned my chain since I installed it, some 5000km ago :o
The kms just fly by. (as in it doesn't seem that long ago that I replaced it. Not that the bike is particularly fast)

Does cleaning the chain on a roadbike (as opposed to just oiling it) really make it last longer?


The CheapBastidRearAxleStand, Mk1 (the New! Improved! Mk2 version was gifted to one jrandom, and hopefully inherited along with the Zeal by one Young Ms. Joni)
He sold his baby? :gob: And after writing such a glowing review of it! Nice to hear another KBer has got it though :)

[Brian d marge]

Eric ,
yes ..is the short answer...o ring chains x ring or tie fighters have seals which keep grease inside the pin roller arrangement ...the o rings do wear and the grease gets contaminates /disappears ...but as as the Roller Rolls over the sprocket tooth, Not ,,,,,it tries to roll but is ganged up on and sort of slides/ rolls and its the sliding Mixed with a very effective cutting paste oil and dirt ..that will dispatch a sprocket ,,...( also the loading and angle of the load small pinions wear alot quicker because of the acute angle ...)
anyway if you supplied the chain with fresh cool oil and it was clean ..the thing would practically never wear out ,,,, Dont laugh ,,,look at the older MZ enclosed chain...
Its just that the cost relative to earnings of the chain ( and fashion ),,has gone down ,,,so people tend to fit and foget ,,,,,( and a good o ring is worth the money ,,in my opinion )
Stephen

[Hitcher]

Ce qui est cette "chaîne" dont vous parlez?

[vifferman]

Does cleaning the chain on a roadbike (as opposed to just oiling it) really make it last longer?
Yes. Really. :yes:
And keeping it cleaned, oiled and properly adjusted will make the gearchanges smoother, and also result in less power loss due to friction.

[Storm]

Not that its necessarily a bad thing, but have YouBeenAtTheStuffWariUses (TM) lately? Just wondering :whistle:

[Lou Girardin]

Cleaning the chain? What's that, I thunk?
Ohhh that's right, something I had to do B.O. (Before oiler).

[scumdog]

Cleaning the chain? What's that, I thunk?
Ohhh that's right, something I had to do B.O. (Before oiler).

And for me B.B. (Before Belt)

[Marmoot]

Oh yeah - and I removed that black plastic thingo (technical term) which is actually called an Air Guide before the cleaning. (I dunno why it's called that - I think it's really a BlackPlasticDooferToStopErrantBodyPartsFromBeingEa tenByTheBackSprocket.)

Don't you know?
It's "Air Guide" because it actually guides the airflow towards the contact point between your back sproket and chain, and thus adds a cooling effect that lowers the temperature of the contact point by 0.0362 degree C at 102.7kph speed.
It also adds a stability-holding effect on single-sided swingarm since your swingarm would not have the balanced hold that exists on doublesided arms.
But don't quote me on those. Somehow Honda officials refuses to admit this. Must've been something to do with sales pitch, I'd say....
I wish my SP1 has an Air Guide. :whistle:

[vifferman]

But don't quote me on those. Somehow Honda officials refuses to admit this.
Ah yes.
This is standard practice for Honda, as evidenced by ignoring the R/R problem till about 2001, ignoring the probelm with O2 sensors and the EFI on the VTec VFR800s, etc.
Sometimes they quietly fix things without saying anything, and sometimes they throw a whole bunch of PR nonsense at things to say how wonderful they are, to deflect attention from the real reasons.

Like the VTec: introduced because Honda's plan is to turn the VFR - traditionally their showcase (or guineapig) of new technology - into a LeanGreenMachine. First an ultra-lean-burning EFI setup and VTec, next it'll have solar panel to "power the electronics", then the engine will quietly disappear and the solar panel will be powering an electric motor in that strangely huge hub fitted to the single-sided swingarm.:whistle:

Even though the chain'n'sprockets will disappear, the "air guide" will stay there to cool the hub down so the Murkins don't sue Honda when they burn their fingers on it. :yes:

[Biff]

Prey tell - have you copyrighted this idea, or could one ThievingBstard steal the idea? Cos it's a darned good un.

You're wasted. In the talent dept that is. Not as in the DrugsAreFinYouUp way.

Shame about the virgin hero blob :Pokey:



And for me B.B. (Before Belt)

Glad you clarified what the B.B stood for SD. For a moment then I thought you came over all ghay. :msn-wink:

[scumdog]

Don't you know?
It's "Air Guide" because it actually guides the airflow towards the contact point between your back sproket and chain, and thus adds a cooling effect that lowers the temperature of the contact point by 0.0362 degree C at 102.7kph speed.
It also adds a stability-holding effect on single-sided swingarm since your swingarm would not have the balanced hold that exists on doublesided arms.
But don't quote me on those. Somehow Honda officials refuses to admit this. Must've been something to do with sales pitch, I'd say....
I wish my SP1 has an Air Guide. :whistle:

I always thought an "Air Guide" was kind of like a girlie ATC sort of thing??
'Dib-dib-dib'

[Marmoot]

I always thought an "Air Guide" was kind of like a girlie ATC sort of thing??
'Dib-dib-dib'

No way.
Air Guide is actually an old concept developed by Phytagoras and has been around for ages, and it serves various purposes other than cooling a wheel hub.
From old cow-pulled wagons to Space Shuttle, 90% of them has some sort of Air Guide in a variety of shapes.
In modern cars, Air Guides are mostly located inside the cabin, and it serves the purpose of guiding the air....flow.... Normally related to air-conditioning system where the conditioned air is then guided by the air guide to various spots needing conditioning by air.

The concept was started by coincidence, when one of Phytagoras's cow pulling his wagon suddenly broke wind after eating some dodgy food.

I'd love to explain it further, but alas I am too busy at the moment. Too many porn website, too little time...

[vifferman]

Prey tell - have you copyrighted this idea, or could one ThievingBstard steal the idea? Cos it's a darned good un.
Pray tell yourself: are you talking about the Air Guide, or the guttery chain cleany waxy thingo (tech term)? :spudwhat:


You're wasted. In the talent dept that is. Not as in the DrugsAreFinYouUp way.
Prolly need more drugs. I'm making do with pretending drugs (herbs'n'spices).
But my brain feels pretty wasted, especially today, which is why I'm on here, instead of doing the stuff my boss asked me to do. :confused:


Shame about the virgin hero blob :Pokey:
Two-part answer:
(1) The hero blobs are new(ish). One was missing, so I went to the fastener emporium ("Bolts is Us", or "Shot Our Bolts", or "Screw You 'N Stuff" or summat) and bought some caps and studs, and made my own for not much at all, at all.
(3) That particular one is no longer virginal, after I scraped it on a kerb when I cut a corner a bit close.
(F) I'm not a hero, but I am heading towards blobdom.

[Ixion]

Isn'tItABuggerWhenTheSpacebarOnYourKeyboardDoesn't Work

[vifferman]

Isn'tItABuggerWhenTheSpacebarOnYourKeyboardDoesn't Work
Isn'tItABuggerWhenTheCogsInYourHeadAreCorrodedAndT heHamster'sFallenOffHisWheel.
:weep: :blink: :pinch: :confused: :doh: :cry: :eek5:

[Ixion]

Isn'tItABuggerWhenTheCogsInYourHeadAreCorrodedAndT heHamster'sFallenOffHisWheel.
:weep: :blink: :pinch: :confused: :doh: :cry: :eek5:

You mean you went to all that trouble to lubricate your chain so nicely, and didn't lubricate your head cogs. Shame on you. And i'm calling the RSPCA and dobbing you in for hamster abuse. Poor little fellow, having to push a big thing like you around.

[Marmoot]

You mean you went to all that trouble to lubricate your chain so nicely, and didn't lubricate your head cogs. Shame on you. And i'm calling the RSPCA and dobbing you in for hamster abuse. Poor little fellow, having to push a big thing like you around.

I thought Hamsters are illegal in NZ?
If it is legal, I WANT TWO!