Rough bar drink

[Ratti]

A woman and her boyfriend are out having a few drinks. While they are Sitting there having a good time together, she starts talking about this Really great new drink.
The more she talks about it, the more excited she gets, and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one.
After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him. The
Bartender brings the drink and puts the following items on the bar:

1. A salt shaker,
2. A shot of Baileys,
3. A shot of lime juice.

The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman explains.

First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue.
Next you drink the shot of Baileys and hold it in your mouth.
And finally you drink the lime juice.'
So, the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her, goes for it.

He puts the salt on his tongue........salty but OK.

He drinks the shot of Baileys and holds it in his mouth........smooth, Rich, cool, very pleasant. He thinks........this is OK.

Finally he picks up the lime juice and drinks it.

1. In one second the sharp lime taste hits

2. At two seconds the Baileys curdles

3. At three seconds the salty, curdled taste & mucous-like Consistency hits

4. At four seconds it feels as if he has a mouth full of nasty snot

This triggers his gag reflex, but being manly, and not wanting to disappoint his girlfriend, he swallows the now foul tasting drink.

When he finally chokes it down he turns to his girlfriend, and says, Jesus what do you call that drink?'

She smiles widely at him and says, 'Blow Job Revenge.'

[mashman]

Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour

Average speed of a city bus: 25 miles per hour

have you ever wondered how hard it would be for a bus to backup when it's passengers are flooding out of the engine compartment at 28 miles per hour... I didn't think you would have considered the physics of the situation :laugh:

[mashman]

here's the rest...


Actual amount of semen per ejaculation: 1-2 teaspoons

Average number of times a man will ejaculate in his lifetime: 7,200

Average # of times he will ejaculate from masturbation: 2,000

Average total amount of lifetime ejaculate: 14 gallons

Average amount of water it takes to fill a bathtub: 35 gallons

Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour

Average speed of a city bus: 25 miles per hour

Average # of calories in a teaspoon of semen: 7

Average # of calories in a can of Dr. Pepper: 150

Average length of penis when not erect: 3.5 inches

Average length when erect: 5.1

Smallest natural penis recorded: 5/8 of an inch

Largest natural penis recorded: 11 inches

Percent of men who say they masturbate: 60%

Percent of men who say they masturbate at least once a day: 54%

Percent of men who say they feel guilty masturbating that often: 41%

Amount of time needed for a man to regain erection: from 2 minutes to 2weeks

Average # of erections per day for a man: 11

Average # of erections during the night: 9

Distance sperm travels to fertilize an egg: 3-4 inches

Time it takes the sperm to travel the distance: 2.5 seconds

Odors that increase blood flow to the penis: lavender, licorice, chocolate, doughnuts, pumpkin pie

[Love my Bonnie]

here's the rest...



Average number of times a man will ejaculate in his lifetime: 7,200

Average # of times he will ejaculate from masturbation: 2,000


I dispute this fact!!
I bet most men toss off more than they get lucky!!

[98tls]

I dispute this fact!!
I bet most men toss off more than they get lucky!!

With the advent of our KFC nation no doubt tossing of could be considered "lucky" as opposed to spending all night trying to get between the Godzilla thighs so prominent today,not to mention what would happen with a bit of muscle tensing.

[Love my Bonnie]

HAHA LMOA
thats mean but funny
Good one dude

[mashman]

I dispute this fact!!
I bet most men toss off more than they get lucky!!

It's there for a reason and if noones home :)


With the advent of our KFC nation no doubt tossing of could be considered "lucky" as opposed to spending all night trying to get between the Godzilla thighs so prominent today,not to mention what would happen with a bit of muscle tensing.

What? surfs up?

[98tls]

It's there for a reason and if noones home :)



What? surfs up?

Possibly,was thinking more like drowning,worse still if it was a fatty that hadnt had anyone in the saddle awhile and it was akin to the way a Tsunami works.

[mashman]

There'd be TV remotes, cornflakes, ants and all sorts of things whipping past your eyes as you clung on for dear life...

[98tls]

There'd be TV remotes, cornflakes, ants and all sorts of things whipping past your eyes as you clung on for dear life...

One can only hope there ants as opposed to crabs.

[mashman]

One can only hope there ants as opposed to crabs.

If they were you'd have to let go to cover yer bollocks, flap, wer, flap, wer, flap wer, kinda like a 2 year old on a trampoline with bigger kids bouncing next to them

[Love my Bonnie]

Spoken like true gentlemen
NOT!!

Piglets

[mashman]

I know... i'm hanging my head in shame and trying to get the image of a large lady on one of those massage chairs out of my head... I'm a man... it's not that easy... oink... oops...

[Bren]

Odors that increase blood flow to the penis: lavender, licorice, chocolate, doughnuts, pumpkin pie

Pussy Juice.....Thats the odour that gets some of us going...You know when you can smell a woman all wet you are gonna be lucky!


With the advent of our KFC nation no doubt tossing of could be considered "lucky" as opposed to spending all night trying to get between the Godzilla thighs so prominent today,not to mention what would happen with a bit of muscle tensing.
Nothing better than a good cushion for the pushin...I feel like I am going to break a skinny girl in half....give me a cuddly one any day heck someones gotta love em