When will people learn - don't fuck people off in email

[Tank]

Received this today by email.

See if you can spot the email that makes it turn to shit.

- I dont see any sponsorship coming his time for, well, a very long time.

edit - sorry about the random spaces - dont know what happened there - but dont have the time to edit entire post. You should still get the gist.


-----------------

From: Francis Pick worth [
mailto:francis@searchrankresults.co.nz%5d>
mailto:francis@searchrankresults.co.nz] Sent: Thurs day,
18 Feb ru ary 2010 3:13 p.m. To: Anna Isaac
Cc: ‘Fer gus Cleaver’
Sub ject: Sound Advice (spe cial edition)

Afternoon Anna,

I trust the week has been good to you!

Further to our conversation re BlacknotBlack and possible sponsorship, I have another pos si ble event that Tiger may inter ested in coming on board with.

Myself along with a number of partners are hold ing an event coming up at Khuja Lounge on the 27th March, it is the fifth instal ment of “SOUND ADVICE” a gig that we hold on a quarter year basis.

Prev ous “SOUND ADVICE” events in the past have consistently been greatly success­ful generat ing huge crowds, great music and a fantastic atmosphere for all who attend. The upcoming promises to be no exception as we move to support the people of Haiti as they recover from the current earth quake that has hit.

We have confirmed Sponsors 42 Below and Red Bull as they have eagerly jumped on board. We are looking for a beer sponsor to help make the event a great success.

We have a big DJ line up of Andy JV, LO-Key, and Arash, all Auck land based heavy hit ters in the DJ scene and we are putting 100% of all net profits towards the charity of our choice to support the people of Haiti.

What we are ask ing for from a beer sponsor is either assistance with printing costs for flyers and posters etc being sold, or at least some boxes of Tiger thrown Khujas way. In return we will put Tigers name on all posters, flyers, web links and any other promo­tional material.

Currently we are also in communication with clothing sponsors to get there name on bar staff, the door girls and possibly security to the event.

Please find the flyer attached that we have had designed that will be printed in posters, flyers and any other promotional sources that we will use. Current sponsors have not yet been attached how ever they will be included in the final draft that we will send to sponsors for final conformation before commencing printing. Please note that on the draft flyer the date has been listed wrong. The confirmed venue and date for the event is Khuja Lounge, March 27th, 10pm till late. Please let me know if you can’t open the PDF file.

Any ques tions or queries please call myself on 021 153 6543, or Fergus on 021 665 188 or email me on the return email. It would be wonderful to get Tiger and DB Brew­eries involved in help ing the people of Haiti out.

Thanks Anna, I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Francis

__________________________________________________ _______

From: Anna Isaac [ <mailto:Anna.Isaac@db.co.nz>
mailto:Anna.Isaac@db.co.nz] Sent: Thurs day, 18 March 2010
4:55 p.m. To: Fran cis Pick worth
Cc: Fer gus Cleaver
Sub ject: RE: Sound Advice (spe cial edition)

Hi there

Sorry for the late response, we have been inundated with sponsorship requests.

We’ll decline the opportunity this time as our calendar is very full at the end of March. All the best for the event.

Cheers

Anna Isaac
Brand Man ager Tiger Beer, Monteiths & RTDs
DB Breweries
09 2593121
0272051163

__________________________________________________ _________

From: Fergus Cleaver [ <mailto:fergus@cleaver.co.nz>
mailto:fergus@cleaver.co.nz] Sent: Thurs day, 18 March
2010 8:06 p.m. To: Anna Isaac
Sub ject: RE: Sound Advice (spe cial edition)

whore

Fergus Cleaver Cleaver Richards Limited Chartered
Accountants PO Box 47585, Ponsonby, Auck land 1144 Level 1,
26 Crum mer Road, Grey Lynn, Auck land 1021

DDI: (09) 376 7999
Ph: (09) 376 2445
Fax: (09) 376 6441

__________________________________________________ __________

From: Anna Isaac
Sent: Mon day, 22 March 2010 11:24 a.m.
To: ‘Fer gus Cleaver’
Cc: Damien Collins; Luke Rive; Dave Shoemack; Jar rod Bear; clare.healy@pernod-ricard-nz.com; ‘Marisa Gov orko’; Rus sell Browne; Jo Jal fon; ‘Quentin Reade’; Lydia Blatch; ‘Angely Grecia’; Donna-Marie Brunt; Brent Gem mell; ‘Nick.Cooper@lion-nathan.co.nz’; ‘Todd.Gordon@lion-nathan.co.nz’; ’shane.bloor@lion-nathan.co.nz’; ‘mike.corry@lion-nathan.co.nz’; ‘Mark.Neal@lion-nathan.co.nz’

Sub ject: Lesson One – Burn ing Bridges with Fergus Cleaver

Hi Fergus

Thanks for your intelligent response above.

You’ll notice I’ve copied in the key members of the DB brand marketing team, as well as our friends at Pernod Ricard, Lion Breweries and Pead PR so best of luck with fur­ther events and gaining sponsorship for these.

Cheers

Anna Isaac
Brand Man ager Tiger Beer, Mon tei ths & RTDs
DB Brew eries
09 2593121
0272051163

__________________________________________________ ____________________

—— For warded Mes sage
From: Damien Collins <Damien.Collins@db.co.nz>
Date: Mon, 22 Mar 2010 11:33:51 +1300
To: <alex_berry@westpac.co.nz>, Damien Collins, <hamishdickie@hotmail.com>, <Hayden.Anderson@ingnz.com>, <isaac.stewart@russellmcveagh.com>, <james.fletcher@aztecinfo.co.nz>, <mahony.david@gmail.com>, <tim@neatmeat.com>, <william@NEATMEAT.COM>, “Hin ton, Thomas” <Thomas.Hinton@airnz.co.nz>, <Michael.Hughes@anz.ccamatil.com>, <Oliver.Bradshaw@ubs.com>, “Bates, Tom” <Tom.Bates@airnz.co.nz>, Rich Henry <rich@getfrank.co.nz>,Daniel Thorn daniel@thedownlowconcept.com>, Daniel Phillips <daniel.phillips@saatchi.co.nz>, “Dan Maas (Fair fax)” <Dan.Maas@fairfaxmedia.co.nz>, adam gunser
> <adamgunser@gmail.com>, Cal lum O’Brien <callum_obrien@hotmail.com>

Conversation: Lesson One – Burning Bridges with Fergus Cleaver Subject: FW: Les­son One – Burning Bridges with Fergus Cleaver

Team,

A lesson above on how to ensure you never get beer sponsorship again!!! Well done Fergus Cleaver of Cleaver Richards accountants!!!

DC

__________________________________________________ _____________

From:
Sent: Monday, 22 March 2010 11:57 a.m.
To: Dis tri b u tion SSNZ All_Saatchi; Dis tri b u tion SCNZ
All_Starcom Subject: FW: Les son One – Burn ing Bridges with Fergus Cleaver

Guys,

An email from our friends at DB above regarding an interesting response to being declined sponsorship. It might be worth thinking twice if any sponsorship requests come to you from Mr Cleaver…

D

DP

Saatchi & Saatchi
123–125 The Strand, Par nell, Auck land, New Zealand
Tel: +64 9 3555 000.
www.saatchi.com

[Swoop]

Nice.


Must have a chat with a lady at Pernod Ricard and enquire if she has seen this... They have a good sense of humour there!

[Crasherfromwayback]

What a dickhead!

[blackdog]

omg...

do a good job and i'll tell 10 people.....

fuck up like that and i'll tell 100.....

i think mr cleaver may be feeling the repurcussions from this for some time yet :rofl:

[Edbear]

I like her style! Great response!

[onearmedbandit]

That's fucking brilliant!

[Crazy Steve]

Maybe he knows something about her that we don't, that she is a Working Girl at night (And infact a WHORE !)

Fckin funny but.

Crazy Steve.

[mikeey01]

That's classic!
Straight to the pool room for that one, or fail.org :)

Cheers for posting Tank

[raftn]

ooooooppss .........serious cock up on his behalf!

[Smifffy]

I dare say Fergus' reply was actually intended for Francis Pickworth, rather than Anna.

His Bad!! Muahahahaha

[Usarka]

I dare say Fergus' reply was actually intended for Francis Pickworth, rather than Anna.

His Bad!! Muahahahaha

Yuo may have a point. But :rofl: :doh:

[Mully]

Whoops.

So there's a vacancy just opened up there then

[steve_t]

Haha. You'd expect a partner in an accounting firm to be smarter than that. LOL @ how it got passed on to Saatchis

[Oscar]

From http://gotcha.co.nz/ (Whaleoil):


I have, this morning had a conversation with a distraught accountant, one Fergus Cleaver. The young fella (26) was almost in tears and was explaining to me how he got hacked (unlikely) and how it was all a terrible mistake (you bet it was).

He said that he had apologised to the young lady concerned and busy trying to undo the damage that he says he didn’t do. I beliieve him that he is sincere about his apology. I really do, because a) either he is pulling an Oscar performance or he really is deeply upset, b) The Accountants Society is crawling all over his ass.

On the drive back hme I thought long and hard about taking the post down, ut then I thought a bit more about it.

[CookMySock]

Yeah I was gunna call it a joe job, but figured the OP would turn his idiot rage upon me. Now the tables turn...

No one is thick enough to call some female a whore like that.

Steve

[Tank]

Yeah I was gunna call it a joe job, but figured the OP would turn his idiot rage upon me. Now the tables turn...

As usual - you make no sense whatsoever.

[Badjelly]

I dare say Fergus' reply was actually intended for Francis Pickworth, rather than Anna.

Yes, I think so. He should have explained it to her: "I called you a whore, but I only intended to do it behind your back, not to your face." That should have calmed things down.

:rofl:

[Oscar]

Yes, I think so. He should have explained it to her: "I called you a whore, but I only intended to do it behind your back, not to your face." That should have calmed things down.

:rofl:

According to Whaleoil, he's saying that someone hacked his computer...


...there's a Tui ad in there somewheres.:shifty:

[Fatjim]

I don't know what all the fuss is about.

I like it when a woman calls me a stud, why should a woman like being called a whore?

[Tank]

I wish a woman would call me a stud

Fixed it for ya'all.

Steve gets very sensitive when you use the term whore. Personally I think the man protest too much - but it might just be 'his time'.

Regardless - funny what presses the buttons of certain folk.

[avgas]

Who names their child Fergus Cleaver?
On another note....who was paying for the time on these emails?

[Ronin]

Fixed it for ya'all.

Steve gets very excited when you use the term whore. Personally I think the man protest too much - but it might just be 'his time'.

Regardless - funny what presses the buttons of certain folk.

Fixed that for ya

[Pixie]

I don't know what all the fuss is about.

I like it when a woman calls me a stud, why should a woman like being called a whore?

You are mixing your terminology:
Whore=Gigolo
Stud=slut

[Tank]

And today he just makes it worse - trying to get his mates (and a couple of whores) to spin him out of it:

http://whaleoil.gotcha.co.nz/2010/03/24/lesson-three-spinning-bullsht-with-fergus-meat-cleaver/

Dont fuck with the whale.

[Mully]

Dont fuck with the whale.

Look, it was one night. And I'd had a lot to drink. And she wasn't that big.

Oh, different thing. Never mind.

[Smifffy]

Look, it was one night. And I'd had a lot to drink. And she wasn't that big.

Oh, different thing. Never mind.

He's made it nto the Herald now
Bwahahahaa

[Eyegasm]

I don't know what all the fuss is about.

I like it when a woman calls me a stud, why should a woman like being called a whore?

That reminds me of a thing I read recently about why a chick that gets around is a slapper
and a guy that does it is a legend....

The response...

A key that opens a lot of locks is a master key, A lock opened by a lot of keys is a shitty lock.

[Insanity_rules]

This thread is priceless. What a meat puppet that guy is! Now I'll just pick myself up off the floor and stop laughing.

[Tank]

He's made it nto the Herald now
Bwahahahaa

ooohhh linky?

[Jonno.]

http://gotcha.co.nz/files/2010/03/nutui.jpg

[blackdog]

ooohhh linky?

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10633948

[Mully]

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10633948

There was a picture of him earlier - Cleaver's a good name for him, he looks like a right meat axe.

[Smifffy]

Would you trust your accounts with a firm that had this guy as a partner?

http://whaleoil.gotcha.co.nz/files/2010/03/meat-225x300.jpg

Me either

[Mully]

"You must spread some rep, etc"

Sorry, consider this virtual bling. *Bling*

[Ronin]

Wonder if it's gone international yet?

[HenryDorsetCase]

I dont think he was a partner in the firm: I suspect he is the son of one of the partners. I suspect he is a proper jumped up little fucktard, from a background of privilege, with the "right" school and the "right" friends and having scraped thru a B Com at Uni has got a job at Dads firm, doing his little disco thing at the weekends, so he has access to drugs, disco music, and empty headed bints. Ive met a few of the type, and loathed all of them

[MisterD]

Cleaver's a good name for him

What a difference the "a" makes...

[Smifffy]

Ah yes, the Cleaver wot is te partner is Donald Keith Cleaver.

Seems to be involved in lotsa liquidations & such

http://coys.co.nz/director-search/?p=1&q=CLEAVER%2C+Donald+Keith

Although Fergus does seem to have a few interests of his own:

http://coys.co.nz/shareholder-search/?q=CLEAVER%2C+Fergus+Donald

[Oscar]

Wonder if it's gone international yet?

Yup, I posted it on ADVRider this morning.

[Number One]

Yeah why is it that people persist on fucking others off through email when you can do it on the net with a guaranteed audience? :blip:

[FJRider]

Yeah why is it that people persist on fucking others off through email when you can do it on the net with a guaranteed audience? :blip:

Yip ... a vid on youtube ... much more effective ...

[Number One]

ooo yes - take it further than just the written shit fight - put pictures and sounds to it too...genious! Email is like sooooo 1999

[Smifffy]

ooo yes - take it further than just the written shit fight - put pictures and sounds to it too...genious! Email is like sooooo 1999

Then techno remix it!

[cindymay]

Just shows that if your reputation is important to you then you can't be too careful. How does it go? "the bigger you are ---"

[Smifffy]

ooo yes - take it further than just the written shit fight - put pictures and sounds to it too...genious! Email is like sooooo 1999

Then techno remix it!

[Number One]

Then techno remix it!

Yeah you said that old man - perhaps lay off the pipe eh? ;) :dodge:

[Smifffy]

Wow - I just noticed - I only posted once - promise!!

It techno remixed itself!!!

[Tank]

Wonder if it's gone international yet?


Yup, I posted it on ADVRider this morning.

Oscar - Taking things international - are you trying to be the next DangerousBastard?





sorry - I apologize - that was a low blow.

[Number One]

What's that? You giving away blow jobs?

Sorry must turn up hearing aide...night night

[Mom]

Yeah I was gunna call it a joe job, but figured the OP would turn his idiot rage upon me. Now the tables turn...

No one is thick enough to call some female a whore like that.

Steve

My ex husband was...

[Woodman]

Someone who knows how should start a poll about what constitutes being known as a "Fergus cleaver" e.g.

Pissing someone off via email ?
Doing anything stupid with mass communications.?
Just being a fuckwit?

Anything else??

[Oscar]

Oscar - Taking things international - are you trying to be the next DangerousBastard?



Nah, I'm not enough of a legend for that.
Besides, go to the "Jo Momma" section of ADVRider.com, and you'll know...

[Insanity_rules]

Whore!!!!!!!

[Number One]

Whore!!!!!!!

YOU are :)

[Insanity_rules]

YOU are :)

True, I was putting my hand up not throwing allegations. You know what they say about Ducati riders (other than the obvious looks and charm).

[davebullet]

It was a simple typo. He meant to say:

more?

As in - any more sponsorships in the pipeline?

[Woodman]

It was a simple typo. He meant to say:

more?

As in - any more sponsorships in the pipeline?


Where?? the o and the e are on the same row

[Swoop]

It was a simple typo. He meant to say:

more?

"Wh" in maori = "F".
So perhaps he is a golfer and was saying "FORE!!!"

[Usarka]

Or "Who re go ng to he p us now"?

[avgas]

My peeps are all sponshipless whores.
The man messes with my sponsor emails.
So I cleaves the meat cos its fresh.

[Laxi]

You know what they say about Ducati riders (other than the obvious looks of a baboons ass with the runs and charm of an email from hone).

:blip: :rofl:

[Insanity_rules]

:blip: :rofl:

Nice use of the mis-quote function, you indeed hve the charm of John Tamahere and the tact of Brian Tamaki.