Biff - you're an arse

[Biff]

I know that this will come as a shock to you but I sometimes make mistakes. No really I do. And here's one of my most recent ones...or twos.

I bought an ageing Nissan Primera at a car auction the other day. $1400. A bargain. I didn’t intend on buying it, but that’s another story. I thought I'd check it over this weekend just gone, check the plugs, filters, oil etc. I was a little disappointed to find that the car had been serviced in January, so the oil was the only thing that I could justify changing, together with a new oil filter.

So I undid the sump bolt and drained the oil, replaced the filter, bought some expensive oil (old girls need loving too), replaced the sump bolt and filled the ole girl up with almost a full container of oil.

Then I tried to drive off - she wouldn’t move. Not an inch, she just revved in all gears (she's an auto - can you guess what's next?). What had I done? Those of you that are more mechanically minded than I will have guessed by now that's I'd actually undone the auto transmission sump bolt and drained the car of transmission fluid. Nice job Biffmeister.

So - back to the garage to buy some more engine oil. Back to the house, replace the auto transmission fluid (I hadn't thrown out the old lot). Then began draining the car of twice the amount of engine oil it should have, which was an interesting juggling act using two bowls.

Anyhoo - job done, car works again, with new oil. The only problem is that in my mild panic I'd bought diesel oil instead of normal oil. Now my petrol 'hobby' car is running on diesel oil.

Stop laughing, and help me out ya bitches. Am I doing the car any damage by running it on diesel oil? I want to sell it next week, but it must in a decent working order.

[Quasievil]

MAte i dunno if its a problem or not but I certainly dont mind laughing at ya :killingme


Hope you get a nice profit with her

[Maximus]

MAte i dunno if its a problem or not but I certainly dont mind laughing at ya :killingme



Yep, Im with Quasi on this one :killingme
And no sorry I cannot help ya either.

[Biff]

fkinmumblemumble unsympathetic bitches hmmph.

[Waylander]

You can be forgiven biff becouse maybe you don't deal with cars much. Like me I can fix heaps of stuff on my bike given the right book or website but I can't for the life of me figure out why the damn horn in the cage doesn't work. Don't know if deisel oil is bad for a petrol car either sorry.

[Maximus]

fkinmumblemumble unsympathetic bitches hmmph.

Well I was highly dissapointed - I thought that this thread was gonna be about your arse! (pt) . . . . Mate if your stoopid enuf to by a damn cage then what did ya expect :whistle: :wait: . . . .

[Biff]

You want a photo of an arse? Then check this arse out.

[Maximus]

You want a photo of an arse? Then check this arse out.


:killingme :killingme Faarkin brilliant!! How would ya feel if you were "that guy" :killingme

[Maximus]

You want a photo of an arse? Then check this ****out.


:killingme :killingme Faarkin brilliant!! How would ya feel if you were "that guy" :killingme

Had to edit your quote, bloody "mail marshall" :whistle:

[FROSTY]

Biff-- I aint laffing and get the friggin diesel oil out LIKE NOW.
Some diesel oils have a dertergent thats really hard on petrol oil seals.

[Skunk]

:killingme

Hmmm, diesel oil. :D

:whistle:

:killingme I can't help it. sorry... :whistle:

I'd change it, but I'd say no harm yet.

[scumdog]

No problem with the diesel oil, it'll just give your engine a good flush out BUT I would replace it and the filter again after about 500km as it will be getting pretty loaded with 'debris' by then.

If the above makes you nervous then change the oil now!

[Biff]

How would ya feel if you were "that guy" :killingme

An arse? ...........



Thanks for the advice Frosty/SD.

[Maximus]

You want a photo of an ****? Then check this ****out.


:killingme :killingme Brilliant!! How would ya feel if you were "that guy" :killingme

[Lou Girardin]

Diesel oil is better than conventional oil, it'll do no harm as long as it's the correct viscosity.

[Brian d marge]

Anyhoo - job done, car works again, with new oil. The only problem is that in my mild panic I'd bought diesel oil instead of normal oil. Now my petrol 'hobby' car is running on diesel oil.
Short answer is No

if fact you can change to diesel oil before say rplacing with a v expensive synthetic ..
Diesel oil contains more detergents and has a higher surface film shear shtrength ...
and is a little more expensive ...

Stephen :ride:

[wari]

BIff ... steppa way from da spannerr .. :nono:

orr

Tossitt onto da nei-boors front lawn like I did .. :wari: ... yulle know when hee's founditt ... :whistle:

[Motu]

Diesel oil's good stuff for your motor - but maybe not for a Primera with a SR18 or SR20....these are one of the worst sludge motors out there,could you see nice shiny alloy inside the oil cap,or was it black as shit? At least you didn't put engine oil in the auto.

[bugjuice]

easy done.. you know.. cos like, the bottom of the engine and the gear box are right close, like inches away.. and the stuff is, you know, could be the same colour n all.. Least you didn't pour new oil down the dipstick which is one story I heard. 5 hours to change the oil..

<center>http://web.telia.com/~u68005395/fun/arse.jpg
arse.</center>

[Ixion]

You want a photo of an arse? Then check this arse out.
heh. Note the police blaming the workmen cos the copper rode, in full daylight, into blatently obvious cement. Hazard checking, much

[HDTboy]

Check if the diesel oil has an API rating withsomething like cf/sj on it. If it has an "s" it will be fine for spark ignition engines.

With the SR series motors, you want to take the rocker cover off and clean out the oil feed lines above the cams as soon as you buy it. Easy job and you can check if the cams are rooted at the same time

[zadok]

You couldn't move the car anyway, so it sounds like you replaced the oil more or less straight away, so I wouldn't worry about any damage. (I wouldn't anyway, not that I'm an expert).

Marty :ride:

[Racey Rider]

Funny.
Very Funny.
Not Rep point funny, but,, a good effort. :niceone:


I know a person, (yes, it did happen to be a woman), who topped up the car radiator up with water untill it started coming out of the dip stick! :killingme

But Biff,, do tell us next week if diesel oil is ok for petrol engines won't ya! :yes:

[MSTRS]

As long as you don't gas her up using the black handled nozzle......

[Quasievil]

easy done.. you know.. cos like, the bottom of the engine and the gear box are right close, like inches away.. and the stuff is, you know, could be the same colour n all.. Least you didn't pour new oil down the dipstick which is one story I heard. 5 hours to change the oil..



<CENTER>http://web.telia.com/~u68005395/fun/arse.jpg

arse.</CENTER>

Man how you do that >> might get you to do that at the next rally

[bugjuice]

Man how you do that >> might get you to do that at the next rally
never tried it? it's easy.. the key is warming up before hand, and a touch of lube..

[Ixion]

As long as you don't gas her up using the black handled nozzle......

Mrs Ixion tried to do that once. Forthunately there was a safety lock thingy on the pump and she had to come and ask me how to remove it. She said "that one was cheaper". Now she refuses to do anything whatsoever on servo forecourts and goes only to servos that will give her full service. She says it is all too complicated and "they should make it simpler"

[Biff]

She says it is all too complicated and "they should make it simpler"

Colour?
Size of nozzle?
Written English?
Hmmpphhh - I am fighting sooo hard not to post anything sarcastic here.

Ooohhhh the pain......

[SPORK]

So, if you're an arse, does that make you an Arse Biff-cuit?

[Biff]

So, if you're an arse, does that make you an Arse Biff-cuit?

Ha, bloody ha.
Think you're funny do ya? And why have you got Cryhavoc's Avatar bumboy? And for that matter the same profile as him. And bike. And.....oh yeah.
Arse Biscuits.

:msn-wink:

[Ixion]

Colour?
Size of nozzle?
Written English?
Hmmpphhh - I am fighting sooo hard not to post anything sarcastic here.

Ooohhhh the pain......

Mrs Ixion dislikes technology. She refuses to use the TV remote control because "there are too many buttons"

[Sensei]

And you ride a bike ??????????????????????????? Dangerous :killingme

[Biff]

Mrs Ixion dislikes technology. She refuses to use the TV remote control because "there are too many buttons"

I can see it now......(cut to wavy dream like scene)

It's Christmas in the Ixion household. Mr and Mrs Ixion are sitting in the living room opening up their respective presents. Mr Ixion gets the leg warmers, fluffy dice and a pair of socks made from the scrotal sack of Bulgarian Swamp Donkey he so wanted. Mrs Ixion opens her present to find a manual for a VFR800 VTEC. She opens it and flicks through the books pages, her eyes landing on the page describing the hydraulic lifting effect of the secondary valves at 7000 RPM, then she promptly explodes, adding parts of her person to the otherwise tastefully decorated Christmas tree.

Mr Ixion makes a cup of tea.

[Ixion]

And you ride a bike ??????????????????????????? Dangerous :killingme

Nah - I can handle a remote TV control. I wanta Gold Wing so I can have my own TV and watch it as I ride, and change channels with the remote. :msn-wink:

[FROSTY]

Diesel oil's good stuff for your motor - but maybe not for a Primera with a SR18 or SR20....these are one of the worst sludge motors out there,could you see nice shiny alloy inside the oil cap,or was it black as shit? At least you didn't put engine oil in the auto.
wot he sais---sorrry I was in a hurry b4 --its the specifics of your motor that worries me --The motor builds up a shit load of crap around the rockers and galleries.
Ya put in diesel oil and it gets broken down and works loose its gonna go 2 places
1) all over the sump filter -blockage which will cut the oil flow to zero
2) into the lill skinny cam oil feed lines which lubricate the cams
net result of either or both could be cam seizure or worse.
If that starts to happen you have an apsolute shit of a job on ya hands

[scumdog]

wot he sais---sorrry I was in a hurry b4 --its the specifics of your motor that worries me --The motor builds up a shit load of crap around the rockers and galleries.
Ya put in diesel oil and it gets broken down and works loose its gonna go 2 places
1) all over the sump filter -blockage which will cut the oil flow to zero
2) into the lill skinny cam oil feed lines which lubricate the cams
net result of either or both could be cam seizure or worse.
If that starts to happen you have an apsolute shit of a job on ya hands

Hey! I said that first!! :mad:
Just kidding but yeah, I TRIED to explain it on one of the earlier replies.

[gav]

So when are you servicing the bike? Can we watch??

[Kickaha]

So when are you servicing the bike? Can we watch??

And laugh :killingme

[inlinefour]

Just wondering if you forgot what your sig says. Was the concept of doing the work on the Nissan a direct result of holding onto flatulance too long? :killingme

[Mooch]

Don't ever give up your day job

[Pixie]

The C rated oil is fine to use .It is higher rated than SAE oils
http://motorcycleinfo.calsci.com/Oils1.html

[eliot-ness]

No problem at all Biff. Using diesel instead of conventional oil is a trick used by many service shops to cut down on oil burning in older cars. I use it every oil change in the wifes car. 350Ks on the clock. no problems/ no oil burning. The only difference I can find in the two is that diesel rated oil doesn't break down at the higher temperatures generated in diesel engines. Sell the car, Use the money for petrol for the bike.

[sels1]

Nice job Biffmeister..

:killingme Classic Biff.....whats your next trick?

[Biff]

To those of you that have helped with constructive suggestions - thanks.
To those of you that chortled slightly - you're forgiven. It’s to be expected.
To those of you that extracted the urine - may your loins become infested with the offspring of a thousand cockroaches.

Mooch - Get out of the country. Oh you have, good man.
Kickaha - I've seen your latest haircut. Did they use an oil funnel as a template?
Gav - Do you know that from behind you look like an ageing Danny De Vito on steroids?


:msn-wink: