Mooove over ya Cow!

[martybabe]

Some days it just ain't happening. I woke up at dawns crack this morning, the sun was in the sky, not a breath of wind and a new bike sat patiently in the Garage..what would you do? Darn straight, time for a scoot.

I've got my tyres all nicely scrub a dubbed so I'm thinking I'll go and have a smoko atop Strathmore saddle on the forgotten highway, some serious bends out that way and on a good clear day, such as Today, you can see all the way from Mount Taranaki on the west coast, to the snow dusted Rupert payoo in the east.

Half a boring hours journey to Stratford and I had already endured 18, count them,18, separate 30k zones full of gravel , mud, dust and shit, there is even an old section of road that is shortly to be surplus to requirements as it's being replaced by a spanky new straight bit, so what do they do..facking tar and gravel the old bit as well just to add to the bloody mayhem.

Away onto the Forgotten highway now and all is coming right with the world, the bikes taking some textbook lines, sticky tyres , lean angles, and brakes you could only dream of when I were a lad...yum.

Had a quick smoko in one of the most picturesque spots in NZ, surrounded by chip wrappers and bottle tops and far too soon it was time to head home.

Que Rant!..... Cows, WTF is that about then, city boy speaking here, I know you can eat them and for some reason they provide us with delicious milky treats but that's about the sum total of my Cow Knowledge. Given that I'm a self acknowledged dumb ass in the Farm animal department, you won't be surprised to read that I was a little bemused to find a dozen of the buggers running loose, just around a very tight right hand bend.

Whatdya do? If I stopped they stopped, if I eased forward, they did the same, if I sped up they galloped all over the bleedin road. After a few hundred metres or so of this decidedly unfunny cat and mouse malarky, I was left with no choice but to pull over, shut the engines down and kick a rock or two, these Burgers on the hoof were absolutely not gonna play ball.

In the fullness of time a random Farmer type turned up and said "What the fuck is occurring" or something similar in kiwi. I explained the situation and being a bit more clued up than I, he suggested we heard them into a nearby field. It seemed like a plan, anybody's field was better than wandering aimlessly on the road between two blind bends.

In the distance a group of Harleys approached, you can always hear them before you see them and this fact wasn't lost on the cows that bolted up the only bolt-hole available to them, a driveway, seconds before the Harley folks came blatting round the bend. Them guys will never know how close they came to absolute carnage.

The cows however were not so lucky, as I said, they stampeded up a driveway and Barged their way across a cattle grid. Cattle grids! what the fack are they about, are they supposed to be a mental barrier where a cow saunters up and takes a look and goes "Nah don't like the look of that bastard". Or a physical barrier where a few tentative hooves probe the the gaps and find it too complimecated to cross.

Either way, It failed, some made it across by luck, three or four went down hard and one poor soul got well jammed, trying to wrench the wayward leg from out between the iron rails with all it's might. You can perhaps imagine the rest, it turned my stomach, poor fugger.

I've prattled on too long I guess, I'm just glad it's not a multi biker down thread because it came reeaall close to being just that, I got lucky because I'd only just started off from my smoko and had been adjusting position and stretching leathered legs and stuff, I was only doing 40-50ks when I came across the eye fillet units.

What's the lesson? I dunno, just be very aware that every bend on every road can hide a whole world of shit behind it, expect it and tune in to every second of every ride.

Ride safe peeps and spare a thought for our random roaming beefies :bye:

So, how did your sunny Sunday rides go.........

[MIXONE]

Mine was excellent.The ducati running sweet and not a cow/sheep/pig to be seen.

[Bren]

well said post....moral of the story, eyes wide open. You never know whats around the corner...
...Some of our roads are just full of udder bullshit aye...I have had a wayward sheep cross my path and cost me a bike...
...Were they dairy cows or beef cows? or maybe steers?...
Just out of curiosity were you riding the harley or suzuki?

[Hopeful Bastard]

mmm yum.. Wheres the rifle and pack when you need one!?

[martybabe]

Mine was excellent.The ducati running sweet and not a cow/sheep/pig to be seen.

Great, I shall have me one of those rides next time out, it must be my turn:yes:



...Were they dairy cows or beef cows? or maybe steers?...
Just out of curiosity were you riding the harley or suzuki?

Using my vast Bovine knowledge accumulated over many minutes, I would classify them as erm Big cows :laugh: And the weapon of choice was The Harley Today...why do I sense impending taking of the piss Bren?


mmm yum.. Wheres the rifle and pack when you need one!?

Sadly Hopeful, I think at least one of the cows will be facing just that fate Tonight. I don't suppose it's cost effective to fix a cows leg is it (he asks,Hopefully) :mellow:

[Bren]

And the weapon of choice was The Harley Today...why do I sense impending taking of the piss Bren?





No piss taking intended....if it were an electraglide then sure I would be open to giving the piss...But the XR1200 is one hog that I would not mind to own...Being a sports bike rider I like the twisties...What i would like to know is how the XR manages on the twisty bits....

[Katman]

I woke up at dawns crack this morning,

I will be questioning PB about this!!

:blink:

[ynot slow]

Memo to Marty keep off roads in rural areas in 1st Saturday in June as that is traditional farm shift and can be a few herds on the roads,more so in quieter country areas.

[martybabe]

...What i would like to know is how the XR manages on the twisty bits....

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/117724-Harley-XR1200.-Any-good?p=1129705307#post1129705307 check the Vid :niceone:

It's in it's element mate, by crikey it fair fangs around them. It's been said before that it is not a true sports bike and that's true for many reasons,not least it's weight but you could chuck it at any set of twisties and it would still come up and ask for more.

It's quirky fun and swift in the real world,Cows permitting, it goes round bends like it was made for it (oh yeah it was) Downside, I have to fill up at every other gas station and you really wouldn't want to tour on it, unless you truly have an iron butt, but it's scores mighty high on the stupid grin scale :yes:

[martybabe]

I will be questioning PB about this!!

:blink:

:shifty:Ha, She don't kiss and tell!.......Does she? :o

[kevfromcoro]

Sunday rides.....
Was going down the driveway this morning... its gravel. with bush on both sides.
And...... boing.. out jumps a kangaroo..... straight in front of me.....
Missed him.... but what a silly thing to do....
Bit like sheep i think..... no brains..........

[FJRider]

Look out for those "Stock" signs on the side of the road. Often home (farm) made ... i was following a cage into the Pig-Root (highway 85) from Palmerston ... sitting on 120 km/hr. Saw the stock sign just before the brow of a hill ... so I buttoned off. I arrived at the top to see said cage carving (literaly) a mob of sheep up.

[martybabe]

Memo to Marty keep off roads in rural areas in 1st Saturday in June as that is traditional farm shift and can be a few herds on the roads,more so in quieter country areas.

Noted young man. Showing my towny ignorance again but a farm shift would involve? Moving farm to farm presumably but why?


Sunday rides.....
Was going down the driveway this morning... its gravel. with bush on both sides.
And...... boing.. out jumps a kangaroo..... straight in front of me.....
Missed him.... but what a silly thing to do....
Bit like sheep i think..... no brains..........

:laugh: I thought you were casting doubt on my story with yer bouncy Kangaroos till I clocked your country of habitation. I think you really should consider staying indoors mate, it's freekin scary the things that are out to get ya over there:shit:



Look out for those "Stock" signs on the side of the road. Often home (farm) made ... i was following a cage into the Pig-Root (highway 85) from Palmerston ... sitting on 120 km/hr. Saw the stock sign just before the brow of a hill ... so I buttoned off. I arrived at the top to see said cage carving (literaly) a mob of sheep up.

Ew :sick: I really thought I was gonna see the same thing Today only the motorcyclists/cow version,not nice.

[kevfromcoro]

[QUOTE=martybabe;1129714848]Noted young man. Showing my towny ignorance again but a farm shift would involve? Moving farm to farm presumably but why?



:laugh: I thought you were casting doubt on my story with yer bouncy Kangaroos till I clocked your country of habitation. I think you really should consider staying indoors mate, it's freekin scary the things that are out to get ya over there:shit:

should change my name i spose.
not in coro anymore....
yeah.. got to watch this outfit......
everthing seems to bite, sting,or spit at ya.. <onlly the ozzy women>.....
dont want to snot a kangaroo though..
some are big cunts......
just seem a big fat snake....
horrible thing it was.....
dont like them.........................

[2wheeldrifter]

Me and mate did that about two weeks ago... came down the main road from Tok to Stratford then up the highway and back home. To be honest wouldn't go out of my way to do it again!

We had, rocks from slips, Half naked redneck locals waking on the road, one flock of sheep, one cow, One bull, one calf and flock of Turkeys and a Quad left of the side of the road.. and road kill the size of baby goats!!

The start to the 2rd bridge is good, but once you get to the unsealed and beyoud it really is a dodgy road.. if you do this road as Martybabe said take EVERY CORNER as if something is on the road!

But it's a tick.. done that road :)

[martybabe]

Me and mate did that about two weeks ago... came down the main road from Tok to Stratford then up the highway and back home. To be honest wouldn't go out of my way to do it again!

We had, rocks from slips, Half naked redneck locals waking on the road, one flock of sheep, one cow, One bull, one calf and flock of Turkeys and a Quad left of the side of the road.. and road kill the size of baby goats!!

The start to the 2rd bridge is good, but once you get to the unsealed and beyoud it really is a dodgy road.. if you do this road as Martybabe said take EVERY CORNER as if something is on the road!

But it's a tick.. done that road :)

you're dead right of course, I only mentioned it today because it was a whole flock of cows a single cowlet doesn't warrant a mention but previously down there I've had an eagle thing bounce off my lid, runaway horses, dogs in the road, a stunned possum, sheep, goats, dead pig, live pig, trailers stuck out,quad bikes parked on the centre line, trucks on my side, tractors beardy local yokels and a farkin partridge in a pear tree. You should get a badge for just surviving the road......That said,it is pretty awesome and it's only 30 minutes and 18 roadworks away from me. :Punk:

[Shadowjack]

I suppose by way of balancing the Karma, I rode out to my sister's place and picked up two saddlebags worth of dead, frozen, packaged bovine products...beautiful day down here, sunny, slightly nor'west, beautiful.

[Bren]

Noted young man. Showing my towny ignorance again but a farm shift would involve? Moving farm to farm presumably but why?



.

Being an ex cocky, but still a bit cocky I can answer that one for you....June 1st is traditionally the start of a new farming season. Sharemilkers (who own the cows but not the land) tend to use 1st of June to move to new farms and new contracts...I have helped on moves like that a few times and is a crazy time...longest one I have done is 30 km in the snow!

[Jonathan]

you're dead right of course, I only mentioned it today because it was a whole flock of cows a single cowlet doesn't warrant a mention but previously down there I've had an eagle thing bounce off my lid, runaway horses, dogs in the road, a stunned possum, sheep, goats, dead pig, live pig, trailers stuck out,quad bikes parked on the centre line, trucks on my side, tractors beardy local yokels and a farkin partridge in a pear tree. You should get a badge for just surviving the road......That said,it is pretty awesome and it's only 30 minutes and 18 roadworks away from me. :Punk:

An eagle thing?!

[Bren]

....and bees, they are livestock right? bees can kill ya...get in the helmet and sting ya....then ya crash and wake up dead....

[Jonathan]

Problem I have with cows is I find them mesmerising. I was riding slowly, staring at cows once and I stalled and crushed my nether regions! Youch!

I don't like the bees 'cos they get caught in my helmet air vent and I find the thought of inhaling dying bee breath disconcerting.

[martybabe]

Being an ex cocky, but still a bit cocky I can answer that one for you....June 1st is traditionally the start of a new farming season. Sharemilkers (who own the cows but not the land) tend to use 1st of June to move to new farms and new contracts...I have helped on moves like that a few times and is a crazy time...longest one I have done is 30 km in the snow!

Ah, that's cleared that up thanks, I shall be mostly not riding that week then :yes:


An eagle thing?!

Yes an Eagle thing, it does have a name I just can't remember it, the really big bastards that always have an emergency flight path form the road kill straight across you, never off across a field to safety, always where you are going.


Problem I have with cows is I find them mesmerising. I was riding slowly, staring at cows once and I stalled and crushed my nether regions! Youch!

.

Strange as that statement is, I know exactly what you mean. :niceone:

[Hopeful Bastard]

A Hawk????

[martybabe]

A Hawk????

Australasian Harrier apparently, magnificent things close up but clonking your helmet is just a tad too close.

[MsKABC]

We had a horse when I was a kid that used to walk over our cattle stop. Quite regularly we used to get a call from a neighhhhbour (heh heh :shifty:): "Your mare's into our roses again...."

[MSTRS]

When I spied this thread (title) I thought Mabel, or one of her friends, was out in the car again...
Well done on avoiding becoming a news item.

[oldrider]

I guess if you hadn't moved the stock off the road there would be even more statistical evidence for ACC to claim motorcycles are dangerous and cause them to raise our levies! :shifty:

Well done that man, you (and the errant farmer) have helped to save us from our selves, yet again! :shit:

[avgas]

Great story.
Now im hungry
off to eat a pie

[martybabe]

Well done on avoiding becoming a news item.

Thanks J, I'd like to say it was skill and catlike reflexes....the reality is I was just lucky I hadn't got into my stride, whatever the reason, every save is a save and I'm mighty glad of 'em :yes:




Well done that man, you (and the errant farmer) have helped to save us from our selves, yet again! :shit:

Thanks OD but I take no credit for spooking them or shifting them, them Girls were going to do just what they wanted to do, fortunately for the Harley guys what they wanted to do was piss off real quick.


Great story.
Now im hungry
off to eat a pie

Thanks, me too, cow and tomato pie from pack n slave....Yum

[neels]

I had an interesting livestock filled ride yesterday afternoon/evening, so yes you should always have your wits about you.

On a ride from chch to akaroa I encountered wandering sheep on the climb from little river to the hilltop, several cows standing in the middle of the summit road around a tight corner, and another bunch of sheep standing on the edge of the road.

Add to that a close call with one of the above mentioned hawk things that only missed my helmet by about a foot, a flock of birds that flew up from the side of the road right across in front of me and just missing a hare that decided to go running down the middle of the road in front of me before stopping to turn left, I've seen more than enough wildlife yesterday to last me for a long time.

[Headbanger]

So, how did your sunny Sunday rides go.........

Me and a mate drunk a box of beers and a large bottle of Whiskey last night.

Crook as a dog.




.................been lying on the floor....which was a great plan untill one of the kids tried to force my eyes open with a teaspoon.

[martybabe]

I had an interesting livestock filled ride yesterday afternoon/evening, so yes you should always have your wits about you.

On a ride from chch to akaroa I encountered wandering sheep on the climb from little river to the hilltop, several cows standing in the middle of the summit road around a tight corner, and another bunch of sheep standing on the edge of the road.

Add to that a close call with one of the above mentioned hawk things that only missed my helmet by about a foot, a flock of birds that flew up from the side of the road right across in front of me and just missing a hare that decided to go running down the middle of the road in front of me before stopping to turn left, I've seen more than enough wildlife yesterday to last me for a long time.

Haha, you even beat me mate, never had a hare but there's plenty of bends to go yet. If your on the wrong road on the wrong day it's like one of those Japanese run the gauntlet shows, Revenge of the animals!


Me and a mate drunk a box of beers and a large bottle of Whiskey last night.

Crook as a dog.




.................been lying on the floor....which was a great plan untill one of the kids tried to force my eyes open with a teaspoon.

:laugh:
Them pesky kids can always sense when your vulnerable mate, last time I had a little celebration the little horrors stuffed my pants with random household objects, I woke up with an arse the size of a small camper van.

Much safer going for a ride with farm animals I reckon HB :yes: