You can be the man...

[one fast tl1ooo]

The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, 'YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE'.

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. And tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

















The wife replied, "The f**kin' funeral director would be my first guess." :shit:

[LBD]

A new married couple alone in the hotel room after their wedding.....he takes of his trousers and hands them to his new wife...."put these on" he demands.

She puts the trousers on which hang in a very baggy way...."They do not fit do they?" he asks..."I wear the pants in this family!"

She takes the trousers off then seductivly slips out of her lacey sexy nickers....."Now you try these on" she suggests

After an initial attempt he realised it was futile they were way to small....."Can't get them on can you?....and unless you change your attitude you will never get into them"