Fine dining

[White trash]

Now, I'm not much of a diner, it's fair to say. I like good food and have been to some pretty nice eateries around the country but I need to point out some "do's and don'ts" when it comes to eating out.

We were lucky enough to get a booking for dinner at The Grove last night, 24 hours after they won the prestigious Best Restaurant award.

Firstly. DO your home work of the menue. I figure, "I like Duck, I like rabbit, I'm not sure what a Terine is but it must be good"

Secondly. DO NOT tell your friendly waitress that your expensive entree "Looks and tastes like cat food" They do not see the funny side.

Another DO NOT is asking if they have KFC seasoning for the fries, by now they're wondering if ol' White trash should maybe have stayed in Papakura for dinner. Truffle juice is actually quite a nice seasoning on chips though it turns out.

I also found that mixing $90 (that was cheap) bottles of wine, Stella Atois and cat food leads to a pretty crook guts during the night.

Valet parkers do not appreciate pissed people telling them that is not our friggen car and I suggest they go and find our Mercedes quick smart, returning this POS Mazda 3 or we'll call the cops.

Crayfish is an AWESOME dinner where ever you eat it so that's a win.

And finally, DO take your credit card. $593 for dinner seems a bit steep but given the good nature and service of the waiting staff it's probably not too shabby.

So, in summary, DO try The Grove in Auckland central, just stay the hell away from the Duck and Rabbit Terine unless you're accustomed to feasting on Jelly Meat.

[Pussy]

It would have been alright if you'd put some tomato sauce on it, Jimmy!....

[White trash]

It would have been alright if you'd put some tomato sauce on it, Jimmy!....

Oh that's right, through the haze I'm remembering loudly proclaiming we should have gone to Dennys. That was pretty funny.

[sinfull]

Lol i could eat for a month on that, or go hungry and buy a set of tyres !

[mattian]

Don't expect silver service from a cafe. The waitress is not going to wait on you hand and foot. We have so many customers come in and sit down and expect to have their order taken at the table when its counter service. We have a giant menu on the blackboard behind the counter!!..... how can we make it more obvious? then people get up and walk off in a huff because they're used to having caviar served in chorus girls arseholes.

[SMOKEU]

Places like that feed on the stupidity of their clients, who are prepared to pay outrageous sums of money for mediocre food with a fancy name attached to it.

[Stirts]

$593 for dinner seems a bit steep!

:gob: Understatement of the farking century!!! That $593 would do our groceries for 8 weeks!!!!

[davebullet]

WT - were you full when you left?

[White trash]

WT - were you full when you left?

Full of beer and wine. The crayfish was a pretty decent sized portion, better than I've had at other restaurants anyway. I didn't leave hungry if that's what you mean.

[007XX]

How many ate that night? And how much booze was put away? Depending on the answers, I'd say $593 is not unachievable by any means...

[peasea]

Places like that feed on the stupidity of their clients, who are prepared to pay outrageous sums of money for mediocre food with a fancy name attached to it.

Correct. I rarely eat in flash joints because when I have done so I have been disappointed and/or ripped off. Nothing worse than paying to dollar for a main and going out the door hungry. I have certainly had some nice food in flash joints but I've also had some primo feeds right here at home for a fraction of the cost. Sure, it's nice to go out now and then but seriously, I/we would rather go somewhere unpretentious and use the rest of the cash for a night out on the town.

[peasea]

How many ate that night? And how much booze was put away? Depending on the answers, I'd say $593 is not unachievable by any means...

True. I can recall sitting at a table with some rellies and the tab was about 1200.

[Pussy]

:gob: Understatement of the farking century!!! That $593 would do our groceries for 8 weeks!!!!

Imagine how much eye fillet steak we could have bought with that, eh Tina? :)

[Stirts]

Imagine how much eye fillet steak we could have bought with that, eh Tina? :)

Steak for breakfast, lunch and dinner!!!!

[007XX]

Steak for breakfast, lunch and dinner!!!!

Ya can't beat a good chunk of meat, eh mate?

[Stirts]

Ya can't beat a good chunk of meat, eh mate?

And the succulent juice that they ooze ..... if you know what I mean ;)

[HenryDorsetCase]

Don't expect silver service from a cafe. The waitress is not going to wait on you hand and foot. We have so many customers come in and sit down and expect to have their order taken at the table when its counter service. We have a giant menu on the blackboard behind the counter!!..... how can we make it more obvious? then people get up and walk off in a huff because they're used to having caviar served in chorus girls arseholes.

I'd pay $593 for that. It better come with one a them Looooooong handled spoons is all.

[HenryDorsetCase]

http://www.thegroverestaurant.co.nz/menu.php

Here is the menu.

I dont think its tooooo over the top for orklind.

compare it to Logan Brown

http://www.loganbrown.co.nz/

(which, by the way, was fantastic last year, really good)

and my local favourite, Jonny Sxhwass

http://restaurantschwass.com/menus


at a decent restaurant, you pay for the whole theatre and experience as much as the food. They make most of their money on the grog (as you will see from the prices). Often there is less markup on an expensive bottle of wine (% wise) than a cheap one.

mmmMMMMmmm nom nom. want crayfish

[mattian]

I'd pay $593 for that. It better come with one a them Looooooong handled spoons is all.
something like this might be your cup of tea.

[Usarka]

Don't expect silver service from a cafe. The waitress is not going to wait on you hand and foot. We have so many customers come in and sit down and expect to have their order taken at the table when its counter service. We have a giant menu on the blackboard behind the counter!!..... how can we make it more obvious? then people get up and walk off in a huff because they're used to having caviar served in chorus girls arseholes.

The French Cafe is pretty flash - you need to lift your game!

[SMOKEU]

Ya can't beat a good chunk of meat, eh mate?

http://www.moonbattery.com/archives/obese.jpg

How's that for some good chunks of meat?

[DMNTD]

Bwahahaha....who's taken over Jimmy's keyboard?
Fine dining? FFS!

[Kickaha]

Bwahahaha....who's taken over Jimmy's keyboard?
Fine dining? FFS!

Next he'll be off to the ballet:whistle:

[howdamnhard]

they're used to having caviar served in chorus girls arseholes.

HMMMmmm , were can I get some of that,ha,ha!
Can't say I've heard that phrase before.

[Pussy]

Next he'll be off to the ballet:whistle:
Performing IN the ballet more like it!

[007XX]

Performing IN the ballet more like it!

Jimmy in tight spandex....*Aaarghhh my mind's eye* :lol: