Football facts for New Zealanders

[Hiflyer]

Football facts for New Zealanders


1. The ball is round as
2. Unlike rugby, a player can NOT touch the ball with his hands, unless he's a goalkeeper or Thierry Henry (French Cheat)
3. The ball is either kicked along the ground (see Spain) or in the air (see England)
4. A goal is worth only ONE point
5. The team woth the most points wins, like rugby.

Hope this helps. :blink:

[MIXONE]

Do you need USD forks and any engine mods allowed?

[Fatt Max]

Well done sir.

A couple of additional points....

- Putting a ball over the bar in football is worth fuck all
- The offside rule in football is simple
- Rules generally in football are simple and not changed every 6 months to justify the existance of the governing bodies
- Football refs take responsibility for their decisions and dont rely on the 'Third Ref' cop out
- The majority of footballers have tatoos that are spelt right

[Hiflyer]

An injury in rugby is a lot worse than an injury in football so don't be too worried when "Whilemina Rooney" falls over and cries.

[Hopeful Bastard]

Football is a game for Gentleman played by Hooligans
Rugby is a game for Hooligans played by gentleman

[Hiflyer]

Green Street Hooligans? Good movie!
Too bad the cast Frodo in it though... p/t

[Swoop]

Rugby is a game for Hooligans played by gentleman
:scratch:
Surely that doesn't apply in NZ!

[Bald Eagle]

Rugby is a game for Hooligans played by gentleman


:scratch:
Surely that doesn't apply in NZ!

No in NZ Rugby is a game for hooligans played by bogans.

[wysper]

- The majority of footballers have tatoos that are spelt right

If that speeeling was deliberate then bling will be sent!

[Ronin]

This football you speak of is some sort of sport then is it?

[Hiflyer]

This football you speak of is some sort of sport then is it?

Yea I think so, it seems like male models have invented a safer rugby of sorts. Then the hand models got in on it but were complaining that they were hurting their hands so that was banned!? Stupid models, shit just went downhill from there really.

Now you can't even take your shirt off without getting sent off, something about insecurity!

[Maha]

And at Leeds Untied, noobs get pulled off at half time.

[Scuba_Steve]

This football you speak of is some sort of sport then is it?

Yes one where you kick a ball with your feet, one which involves skill & tactics rather than just brawn & one where you dont have to shove your head up another mans arse.

[Maha]

Yes one where you kick a ball with your feet, one which involves skill & tactics rather than just brawn & one where you dont have to shove your head up another mans arse.

Indeed it does require skill and tactics, two years at drama school ensures the best of these qualities are on display in every game.

[Ronin]

Yes one where you kick a ball with your feet, one which involves skill & tactics rather than just brawn & one where you dont have to shove your head up another mans arse.

And here I thought it was a bunch of overpaid actors running around hamming it up for corrupt officals. Sheesh. How wrong could I be. That other game you speak of... Rugby is it?... Again... Not a proper sport.

[firefighter]

- Football refs take responsibility for their decisions and dont rely on the 'Third Ref' cop out

I'm sure Ireland wo'nt agree with you on that one......France will though. I'd rather side with the Irish.


- The majority of footballers have tatoos that are spelt right

Lol, Wut?


No in NZ Rugby is a game for hooligans played by bogans.

I though it was played by darkies? :shutup: :shifty:


Indeed it does require skill and tactics, two years at drama school ensures the best of these qualities are on display in every game.

Hahahahaha. Yep. I was going to reply to that but you have put it quite nicely.


Facts I have to add.

- It's Soccer not Football!
- When someone scores a goal, the players will run around gobbing each other off, and may endulge in full on anal sex.....this is normal.
- When they fall over screaming in pain, and get stretchered off it's so bad, you will see them on the pitch again in around 20mins. They have the same water as is on "waterboy", and is all part of the act.

[Hiflyer]

- It's Soccer not Football!

Treading on thin ice here mate! haha

The other two points are true though haha,

[GOONR]

......
- When they fall over screaming in pain, and get stretchered off it's so bad, you will see them on the pitch again in around 20mins. They have the same water as is on "waterboy", and is all part of the act.

Ya mean like this,

[firefighter]

Ya mean like this,

No, more like this;

<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/jwce1vqejHs&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/jwce1vqejHs&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

[Scuba_Steve]

when 2 great sports combine...

http://www.toutsurlamoto.com/photogallery/extreme/moto+ball.jpg

[GOONR]

No, more like this;....

Haha, classic, that is true Hollywood.

[Fatt Max]

So waht if I cant fuknmg speel

[Swoop]

"There are only three sports: bullfighting, motor racing, and mountaineering; all the rest are merely games." E. Hemmingway.

[blackdog]

Ya mean like this,

and this.....
http://www.divertissonsnous.com/photos/sport/football/Blessure-Eduardo/Blessure-Eduardo-photo-01.jpg

http://www.divertissonsnous.com/photos/sport/football/Blessure-Eduardo/Blessure-Eduardo-photo-001.jpg

http://www.divertissonsnous.com/photos/sport/football/Blessure-Eduardo/Blessure-Eduardo-photo-02.jpg

http://www.divertissonsnous.com/photos/sport/football/Blessure-Eduardo/Blessure-Eduardo-photo-03.jpg

[-df-]

when 2 great sports combine...

So want to try

[mashman]

Football: When you're off, you're off:

Yer mate can't just come on to replace you whilst you get your fake injury looked at because yer a lazy fat cunt that can't last 8 minutes, let alone 80...
The sin bin doesn't exist... You fuck up, you're outta there...

[fliplid]

Ya mean like this,
Bit of an appropriate name for number 12 then:innocent:

[GOONR]

Bit of an appropriate name for number 12 then:innocent:

Yup, he certainly was!

[spookytooth]

tried watching soccer once but the paint drying on the wall got more xciting

[Fatt Max]

because yer a lazy fat cunt that can't last 8 minutes, ...

Thats what my missus says about me, but it's got fuck all to do with football.

I agree though, no sin bin. You naughty, you feck off, done....

[burden2]

And at Leeds Untied, noobs get pulled off at half time.

Bet that makes the veteran models jealous.................but explains why the noobs play like crap in the second half-they are exhausted!

[Maha]

Bet that makes the veteran models jealous.................but explains why the noobs play like crap in the second half-they are exhausted!

Spent even?

David Beckham once said ''I've been doing a Jig Saw and it says on the box 'from 3-6 years' and its only taken me 4 months''....:mellow: