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View Full Version : How about a dumb criminals thread for a laugh?


Edbear
3rd July 2010, 13:33
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10656223

Never ceases to ammuse... :yes:
scumdog
3rd July 2010, 13:43
Big perk of my job - getting surprises at the sheer stupidity of criminals, always good for a laugh.
Edbear
3rd July 2010, 14:14
Big perk of my job - getting surprises at the sheer stupidity of criminals, always good for a laugh.

Police 10-7 is a favourite comedy show!
maggot
3rd July 2010, 18:58
I was watching a show on dumb criminals on Sky the other night.
A local regular, in a wheelchair, tried to hold up his local dairy, with a knife and a baseball bat. Knife in one hand, baseball bat in the other. No hands for moving the wheelchair. He smashes the register with the baseball bat, can't get round the counter to the back of the till, so grabs cans of energy drink and packets of condoms and legs it (pun intended).
He gets picked up a matter of hours later.
You've really gotta wonder..
SMOKEU
3rd July 2010, 21:00
Police 10-7 is a favourite comedy show!

A scanner is even better. I heard about some black people who were stealing a carpet, how's that for petty?
Blackshear
3rd July 2010, 21:26
Brace yourselves
<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/bdu51o6kor0&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/bdu51o6kor0&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
Toaster
3rd July 2010, 21:42
I recall locking up a muppet once who had an entire uncooked leg of ham shoved into his pants.

As if anyone was going to miss that one!
SMOKEU
3rd July 2010, 21:49
I recall locking up a muppet once who had an entire uncooked leg of ham shoved into his pants.

As if anyone was going to miss that one!

Are you a copper?
Woodman
3rd July 2010, 21:58
The thing that gets me is ...Why do people who are planning on a life of crime get easily recognisable facial tatoos???
rustyrobot
3rd July 2010, 22:14
Someone sent me a link to this page last week, some rather ironic t-shirts that people have been arrested wearing.
http://www.uphaa.com/blog/index.php/unfortunate-ironic-t-shirts/
(these are their mug-shots)
Owl
4th July 2010, 00:11
The thing that gets me is ...Why do people who are planning on a life of crime get easily recognisable facial tatoos???

Refer to thread title, with key word being dumb.
Gremlin
4th July 2010, 01:53
world's dumbest criminals. Prime used to screen the series I think. Awesome stuff :)
Toaster
4th July 2010, 09:40
Are you a copper?

Used to be. Left in 2006.
SMOKEU
4th July 2010, 11:06
Used to be. Left in 2006.

Cool, mind if I ask why you left the force?
Edbear
4th July 2010, 11:41
I recall locking up a muppet once who had an entire uncooked leg of ham shoved into his pants.

As if anyone was going to miss that one!


Did you say, "Are you pleased to see me or is that a leg of ham in your pants..?" :shutup:
duckonin
4th July 2010, 18:39
I recall locking up a muppet once who had an entire uncooked leg of ham shoved into his pants.
!

Either one fucken big muppet or one real small leg of ham...
Edbear
5th July 2010, 15:45
An illegal alien in Polk County Florida who got pulled over in a routine traffic stop ended up 'executing' the deputy who stopped him. The deputy was shot eight times, including once behind his right ear at close range. Another deputy was wounded and a police dog killed. A state-wide manhunt ensued.

The murderer was found hiding in a wooded area and as soon as he took a shot at the SWAT team, officers opened fire on him. They hit the guy 68 times.

Naturally, the liberal media went nuts and asked why they had to shoot the poor undocumented immigrant 68 times.

Sheriff Grady Judd told the Orlando Sentinel: 'Because that's all the ammunition we had..' Now, is that just about the all-time greatest answer or what!

The Coroner also reported that the illegal alien died of natural causes.. When asked by a reporter how that could be since there were 68 bullet wounds in his body, he simply replied: (QUOTE of 2009) "when you are shot 68 times you are naturally gonna die."
Toaster
5th July 2010, 20:16
Cool, mind if I ask why you left the force?

Money.... which in hindsight was not my smartest move. I was happier working in a job where I helped others out, instead of helping line my own pockets.
Toaster
5th July 2010, 20:19
Either one fucken big muppet or one real small leg of ham...

Your honour, I present to the Court a Ham................. oh and a leg of meat.
SMOKEU
5th July 2010, 23:32
Money.... which in hindsight was not my smartest move. I was happier working in a job where I helped others out, instead of helping line my own pockets.

I was under the impression that police officers got paid quite well.
EJK
6th July 2010, 01:12
One Armed Bandit? Sounds very familiar on KB....
cromagnon
6th July 2010, 08:25
One Eyed Bandit? Sounds very familiar on KB....
10 char long.....
scumdog
6th July 2010, 17:12
I was under the impression that police officers got paid quite well.

I feel you have missed the point.......
Toaster
7th July 2010, 05:15
I was under the impression that police officers got paid quite well.

Depends on what you compare it to. Newbies on $50k in Auckland with family and mortgage does not stretch very far.
SMOKEU
7th July 2010, 10:58
I feel you have missed the point.......

So do I, in hindsight.