CRAZIES ONLY! No do-gooders here, you're banned from this post!

[Rogue Rider]

Ok, been a while, so thought must be time for some to be able to let loose and share some madness.
This can be on behalf in the 3rd person so as not to incriminate anyone.......

Time to share some stories of madness, insane tricks and awesome riding ability. I want to here some happy stories, sad stories, or whatever.

If your up to it. I just been so frustrated by dogooders shooting down the fun stuff..... Nun Police are banned.

:scooter::scooter::scooter::scooter::scooter::scoo ter::scooter:

[98tls]

One can almost feel the approaching wave of bullshit ,all over Kiwi cyberspace Playstations are being turned on to relive the moment so as to explain it in great detail.:shifty:

[Rogue Rider]

Ok Ok ok ok, I'll start, it seems only fair.........

It all began a long time ago, to someone else, I think a friend of a frien who was a friend who knew me......

I was busy as always on a Saturday morning, playing grand theft auto Liberty City, as you do, and yes I was using the cheats...... one likes tanks, grenades, rocket launchers and sniper rifles stalking civilians and popo around inner city streets.....

Anyway after pillaging relentlessly and doing some insane driving maneuvers and acrobatics in the car jack heists, I decided to nip up to Mangawhai for a strop with some buddies.
It was then I noticed the influence of the game on my riding ability, I instantly found a connection and had tendencies to want to shoot annoying drivers, and blow stuff up... Of coarse I didn't have the arsenal but if I did..... Instead I just rode like the clappers, and did all the things you can that you shouldn't do.......

The exchanging of stories at the Smashed Pipi was very nice, thats a great place to stop for a chill after a hammer fest through the windies. The trip to Langs and Waipu Pizza place was a treat too. Tighties and loosies all the way.

[MadDuck]

wave of bullshit

This thread is doomed :innocent:

[Rogue Rider]

LoL, I guess if there no cray antic stories then we truely have reformed to the pc society the govt so desperately seeks to force through the advanced tools and legal aids the popo have for enforcement.

That not nec a bad thing, could be a tad boring tho........

[Katman]

This is likely to be a slow moving thread.

There'll be too many trying to type one-handed.

[Laava]

So what! My dad's a police dog!

[MadDuck]

That not nec a bad thing,

Ok have I missed something? Or do I need do have another drink?

[Fatt Max]

Can I play?

[Laava]

Ok have I missed something? Or do I need do have another drink?

Yes


Can I play?

Not if you are gunna be sensible. Oh is that you Max?

[98tls]

This is likely to be a slow moving thread.

There'll be too many trying to type one-handed.

That or not able to as the other hands holding the flap.

[scissorhands]

I once lifted up the rear end of a komodo dragon by the tail to lift its back legs off the ground, as it was moving on a fallen German tourist during a 50 plus dragon ambush at a tourist komodo feeding venue on the island of Komodo.

I jumped from the secure fenced area into the unexpected dragon ambush, checking my rear for other large males, held it up with its tail tucked under my armpit like a headlock, watching its rear feet scraping the earth for traction, less than 1 meter from the legs of the squealing german guy. This was for about 5 seconds. Finally the people bottleneck blocked narrow entrance to the inside of the fenced area cleared, and the German guy picked himself up and moved to safety. I dropped the dragon then leapt the fence in one motion, as was next to me and only around 1.4m high.

The German guy bought me beers for the next few days and 1 month later back in Bali a girl in a niteclub who was there (around 100 tourists) came up saying she wrote home and called me Komodo Dundee...( this was about 1987). I got to shag her :sunny:

Oh shit, this a do gooder story isnt it? Bugger

Same holiday I ate some mushrooms and crashed my scooter with a Javanese prostitute on the back. No shag there and still had to pay her

[racefactory]

Hey man this is a great idea for a thread... fuck the kill joys and do gooders, let us share stories of stupidity, rebellion, thrills, spills and excitement!

First one to come to my mind- Christmas Eve. It was a shitty 88 GL145, I put some new brake pads onto this caliper and refitted it. It was raining but went for a ride, noticed it was taking some decent power to get it going and there was a lot of resistance. Had to apply a lot of power to keep it moving. Decided to turn back... as I was going around one corner at about 60 the front end just swept away instantly and both machine and I hurtled along slick wet road into a car, it was a new model. Very luckily I just missed the car and what's more is that it was only the bikes brake lever that struck the car's tyre and punctured it. No body damage to it! So I got up and went to find the owner, gave him 150 bucks for a new tyre and wished him Merry Christmas! Bike was totally fucked and bent up but rode it back. Can't believe i had failed to realise the effect of the seized brake!

[Virago]

When I was a kid, I once drank milk straight from the bottle, and put it back in the fridge...:headbang:

[MIXONE]

So what! My dad's a police dog!

Must be related because my dog's a police dad.

[DMNTD]

I'm way too innocent for this thread... :scooter:

[Big Dave]

It's 'you're'

And I'm much better on playstation than meatspace.

http://homepage.mac.com/david_cohen_design/.Pictures/10pics/wheelie.jpg

[Rogue Rider]

I once lifted up the rear end of a komodo dragon by the tail to lift its back legs off the ground, as it was moving on a fallen German tourist during a 50 plus dragon ambush at a tourist komodo feeding venue on the island of Komodo.

I jumped from the secure fenced area into the unexpected dragon ambush, checking my rear for other large males, held it up with its tail tucked under my armpit like a headlock, watching its rear feet scraping the earth for traction, less than 1 meter from the legs of the squealing german guy. This was for about 5 seconds. Finally the people bottleneck blocked narrow entrance to the inside of the fenced area cleared, and the German guy picked himself up and moved to safety. I dropped the dragon then leapt the fence in one motion, as was next to me and only around 1.4m high.

The German guy bought me beers for the next few days and 1 month later back in Bali a girl in a niteclub who was there (around 100 tourists) came up saying she wrote home and called me Komodo Dundee...( this was about 1987). I got to shag her :sunny:

Oh shit, this a do gooder story isnt it? Bugger

Same holiday I ate some mushrooms and crashed my scooter with a Javanese prostitute on the back. No shag there and still had to pay her

Well, profit and payback, Dundee it is....:Punk:

[Big Dave]

*I* have a medal for Bravery......Doh!

[Rogue Rider]

Well, goin back a bit here, to the late 80's even........ Story starts like this, earlier, when I was at School I got hiffed down some stairs by a Maori fulla who was partial to having a small nob.... perhaps I shouldn't have pointed it out in the changing shed, considering he was gynormous, and I was a small podge with attitude to burn.....
Anyway back to the stairwell. He-Man threw me down the middle to the floor below, landed on my feet and shattered an ankle..... Dick got suspended, I got 8 weeks off.
Couple years later I was on a bush swing in the Marlborough Sounds swinging out over a cliff, from a pine tree which I frequented with my mates.
Well, little did I know, but some scrotes, whom I had pissed off by destroying there flash as hut to rape the timber for our hut up in the bush, had partially cut the rope that my arse was swinging from.................. TWANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Snap.
Fell 9 meters to the tide, sadly tide was out and only 3 feet of water, then mud/ sand.............. and snap, other ankle shattered needing surgery, plates and some screws....
After that, my ankles were toasted, couldn't do much excersize, had difficulty riding my trail bikes too.
A mate of mine recieved an Acc lump sum payout for his knee of $1200, so I thought, well I should at least get that, and that could buy me a cool new ride. 80's and early 90's stuff was cheap back then....
Anyway, filled in forms....... sent off...... 6 months later got some cash. Think it was around 10k from memory, it was insane I thought, but woohoo bike time. Sadly ACC had other ideas, they made it go into a trust until I was 21, so the made my old man Custodian..... yeeehaaaa.
Went into the local yamaha dealer that afternoon, saw a shiny new 1989 XJ600, ugly as shit now, but back then Oh Baby......
Asked the fella, heybro how much for cash...... he looked at me and laughed, me standing there in my uniform..... Dude, I said, how much for cash! gave me a porice, sounded ok, "ok, but I want a helmet, gloves and full tank of gas" and I want it ready tomorrow. Dude looked at me like I was nuts, cut him a cheque deposit to hold, and left.
Turned up next day with cash and the old man, spent half my acc dosh, rode home, using up the full tank of gas..... went the long way lol.
I had to fill up again, this is where it goes a bit pear. I was a lil teenage dude on a new beast, alot heavier than my GN250 superbike.

I pulled into the pump at Shell, kicked stand out, lookin and feelin awesome, and smash, over I went, pinned between the pump and the bike................. bugga!
Dudes rushed over and lifted the bike off, me a bit red faced..... Fundly no damage to anything, except my ego..
To Make up the man points, after my free soda from the shop, I pulled a wheelie off the forecourt and down the road, yep, I still had it lol, and was proud again.... Never told anyone that before, but that was my first wheelie longer than 30m on the road. I was hooked from there on.
I was in the sth island goin thru a town south of stoke in nelson. It had a long straight through the town with all the shops. I pulled a wheelie there end to end of the town, passed the cop shop. Then headed to Motueka and over the famous Takaka Hill, man that road is a buzz.

The end. If your not doin wheelies, your not havin fun!

[R6_kid]

I like to do my wanking in private thanks very much.

[Big Dave]

I like to do my wanking in private thanks very much.

You forget we've seen you Bucket racing?

[avgas]

I'm way too innocent for this thread... :scooter:
Cant find the exact quote, but I remember it went something like this...


Busted body, busted bike.......barely can ride.........bike has busted shifter.........pole+vice grips = hand shifter.........200kph.........on way to Paeroa.......

It never left my mind.....
LEGEND!

[DMNTD]

Cant find the exact quote, but I remember it went something like this...



It never left my mind.....
LEGEND!

Heh! Flash backs to Nam man! LINKY.. (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/44462-ZX10-Mobility-Edition?p=942970#post942970)
Ironically I have only ever binned when riding below the speed limit ...100% truth.

[Big Dave]

Heh! Flash backs to Nam man! LINKY.. (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/44462-ZX10-Mobility-Edition?p=942970#post942970)
Ironically I have only ever binned when riding below the speed limit ...100% truth.

Pink Floyd Dark Side - 'I dunno - I was really drunk at the time'?

[avgas]

Back in the days when I was a loopy I use to boot between my home home (kati) and uni home (Auckland)......best time was actually on the RG150 at 2am........
Sucks they have taken the corners out and put the autobahn in, also sucks that 80kph patch in the gorge.

Those use to be the most exciting 2 hours of my life, and chewed up the whole tank in that time, including reserve.... I am thankful it wasn't cut short.

Fuck doing it again - Out of interest what is the fine $ for 180kph?

[Bikemad]

When I was a kid, I once drank milk straight from the bottle, and put it back in the fridge...:headbang:

fuckin magic...........did that too......drove my old Mum nuts..........
the other one was using the sugar bowl spoon to stir ya tea then dump the wet spoon back in the sugar bowl..........

[avgas]

Heh! Flash backs to Nam man! LINKY.. (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/44462-ZX10-Mobility-Edition?p=942970#post942970)
Ironically I have only ever binned when riding below the speed limit ...100% truth.
Likewise, all my bins have been below speed limits......

but I do not think I would still be here if it were otherwise.
Someone is fucking watching over us man!!!!:shit::innocent::shutup:

[Hitcher]

Nun Police are banned.

Nun Police rock!

[Laava]

Nun sex monk rock!

[Hitcher]

Nun sex monk rock!

I'd heard that too.

[Laava]

Gabba gabba hey!

[scissorhands]

Piha Road at night, just you, the road and trees/banks...Citroen AX GT, Datsun1600, Peugeot 205, ready and waiting to claim another *dangerous*

[Banditbandit]

For Katman to have a heart attack over ... and in the spirit of this thread ... and this is a true story ...

Some time last century (when I was young and crazy - around 1976) I was working in a small sawmill in one of the northern suburbs of Christchurch and living in the centre city, I left work one Friday afternoon around 4.30pm on my Triumph Thunderbird (the old 650 parallel twin for you kiddies). There was a 30mph zone, then a limited speed zone (remember those?) and back into a 30mph zone on the way home. I can't rememebr the roads - possibly Marshlands Road was it?

I got behind a Vanguard doing 20mph in the 30mph Zone, and which didn't speed up at the limited speed zone. I flicked the Trumpy sideways and opened the throttle. I held the throttle wide open, sitting on the white line - cars in both directions - all the way down the LSZ then through the Edgeware Village. As I went throught the traffic lights there (which fortunately were green) I glanced down at the speedo - 105mph ... (On the speedo - not claiming that was accurate, but would be around 100mph)

I cut the bike back to 40mph then glanced in the rearview to see a white Holden Belmont trying to come through the traffic - headlights flashing (no sirens or flashing lights on this mufti) and a cop laughing his head off.

I pulled over and the cop comes over and tells me he was doing 120 klicks trying to catch me, but I was pulling away from him. I ask him what this is in mph (my speedo was mph and kph had only just been introduced) He reckoned around 80-85mph .. I figure there's no point lying so I tell him I was going a tad faster than that. He says "you were going a fuck of a lot faster than that!" He askes why I slowed down and if I knew he was behind me - hell no, I said. If I had known he was there I would have never slowed down - I just figured it was getting as bit unsafe.

The cop tells me he couldn't get a proper speed reading on me (pre-radar days) so he's not going to give me a ticket ... he just doesn't want the car drivers to think I was getting away with it ... I nearly fell off the bike in shock - I was expecting to lose my licence at least.

As the cop starts his Belmont, it makes the most gawd-awful noise and engine can make, dumps oil all over the road, and erupts in clouds of blue smoke. The cop turns it off, leans out the window and says "If I've blown the car up trying to catch you I'll send you the bill".

Needless to say, I kicked the T-bird to life and disappeared at a legal speed ... whew ...

Yeah .. I know .. lucky to be alive .. some of my mates are not ...

[Rogue Rider]

For Katman to have a heart attack over ... and in the spirit of this thread ... and this is a true story ...

Some time last century (when I was young and crazy - around 1976) I was working in a small sawmill in one of the northern suburbs of Christchurch and living in the centre city, I left work one Friday afternoon around 4.30pm on my Triumph Thunderbird (the old 650 parallel twin for you kiddies). There was a 30mph zone, then a limited speed zone (remember those?) and back into a 30mph zone on the way home. I can't rememebr the roads - possibly Marshlands Road was it?

I got behind a Vanguard doing 20mph in the 30mph Zone, and which didn't speed up at the limited speed zone. I flicked the Trumpy sideways and opened the throttle. I held the throttle wide open, sitting on the white line - cars in both directions - all the way down the LSZ then through the Edgeware Village. As I went throught the traffic lights there (which fortunately were green) I glanced down at the speedo - 105mph ... (On the speedo - not claiming that was accurate, but would be around 100mph)

I cut the bike back to 40mph then glanced in the rearview to see a white Holden Belmont trying to come through the traffic - headlights flashing (no sirens or flashing lights on this mufti) and a cop laughing his head off.

I pulled over and the cop comes over and tells me he was doing 120 klicks trying to catch me, but I was pulling away from him. I ask him what this is in mph (my speedo was mph and kph had only just been introduced) He reckoned around 80-85mph .. I figure there's no point lying so I tell him I was going a tad faster than that. He says "you were going a fuck of a lot faster than that!" He askes why I slowed down and if I knew he was behind me - hell no, I said. If I had known he was there I would have never slowed down - I just figured it was getting as bit unsafe.

The cop tells me he couldn't get a proper speed reading on me (pre-radar days) so he's not going to give me a ticket ... he just doesn't want the car drivers to think I was getting away with it ... I nearly fell off the bike in shock - I was expecting to lose my licence at least.

As the cop starts his Belmont, it makes the most gawd-awful noise and engine can make, dumps oil all over the road, and erupts in clouds of blue smoke. The cop turns it off, leans out the window and says "If I've blown the car up trying to catch you I'll send you the bill".

Needless to say, I kicked the T-bird to life and disappeared at a legal speed ... whew ...

Yeah .. I know .. lucky to be alive .. some of my mates are not ...

Love this, Blow it up lol......:innocent:

[scissorhands]

very naughty young man:innocent:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dI4RQB5-8Ec

[Banditbandit]

Don't try that at home - or where Katman can see you ...

[The Pastor]

Hey man this is a great idea for a thread... fuck the kill joys and do gooders, let us share stories of stupidity, rebellion, thrills, spills and excitement!

First one to come to my mind- Christmas Eve. It was a shitty 88 GL145, I put some new brake pads onto this caliper and refitted it. It was raining but went for a ride, noticed it was taking some decent power to get it going and there was a lot of resistance. Had to apply a lot of power to keep it moving. Decided to turn back... as I was going around one corner at about 60 the front end just swept away instantly and both machine and I hurtled along slick wet road into a car, it was a new model. Very luckily I just missed the car and what's more is that it was only the bikes brake lever that struck the car's tyre and punctured it. No body damage to it! So I got up and went to find the owner, gave him 150 bucks for a new tyre and wished him Merry Christmas! Bike was totally fucked and bent up but rode it back. Can't believe i had failed to realise the effect of the seized brake!

one careful lady owner eh ;)

[Banditbandit]

Some time this century I was heading towards Taranaki. Around Halcombe the BMW's alternator started playing up, and in Whanganui the bike wouldn't start on the starter because the battery is a bit flat and I needed a push. Heading towards Patea a cop came round the corner towards me - and I glanced down - 120 klicks. The cop U-turned and followed me for about 10 ks. I figured he wasn't going to stop me, and if I made Patea he would probably stop there.

Finally he pulled me over. I got a ticket for exceeding 100ks - he didn't say by how much and I think it cost me $120.

I told hthe cop the bike might not start again. He offered to push start me . Now this is a very heavy 1990 Paris Dakar, fully loaded. It took three people pushing in Whanganui to get it going. The cop gets behind the bike and starts to push. I flick the kill switch to "off" and the cop is pushing like mad, working hard .. but the bike won't start. I "try" several times - releasing the clutch and turning the engine over for no result.

Finally, we get to the top of a hill. I tell the cop I'll run it down the hill and the extra speed will start it. I pull in the clutch, run down the hill, flick the kill switch to on, drop the clutch and the bike lights up .. I'm gone !

(The bike got a new alternator ...!)

[Bald Eagle]

Love it , :niceone: