Brick layer

[texmo]

This is a bricklayer's accident report that was printed in the newsletter of the English equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board. So here, thanks to John Sedgwick, is this Bricklayer's report.

Dear Sir;

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor Planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a more complete explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later, were found to weigh 240 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out, and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 240 lbs of bricks. You will note on the accident reporting form that my weight is 135 lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions, and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3, accident reporting form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley which I mentioned in Paragraph 2 of this correspondence. Fortunately, by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience.

At approximately the same time however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs.

I refer you again to my weight. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope.

[SPORK]

BLeh.

There's a song with the same storyline as this. Sung by some irish/scottish/brittish/sh guy. Something about Murphy? I can't remember, but I want that song again, havn't heard it in years.

[Sniper]

Thats very good

[bugjuice]

read it a million times before (I think this might be one of the first emails circulated to me when I got my first work email address..)

but never get bored of reading it! Well written, and funny. It's almost a 'Homer' thing - D'oh!!

[phantom]

got it on a record ( remember them ) by Gerard Hoffnung, originally broadcast on the BBC in 1973

[texmo]

This is a bricklayer's accident report that was printed in the newsletter of the English equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board. So here, thanks to John Sedgwick, is this Bricklayer's report.

Dear Sir;

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor Planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a more complete explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later, were found to weigh 240 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out, and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 240 lbs of bricks. You will note on the accident reporting form that my weight is 135 lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions, and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3, accident reporting form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley which I mentioned in Paragraph 2 of this correspondence. Fortunately, by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience.

At approximately the same time however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs.

I refer you again to my weight. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope.


Im sure this must have been posted before, its still good though...

[Gremlin]

My dad brought this home (office email jokes) yonks ago and it had me in stitches for a couple of minutes especially as I work on building sites, and I have an excellent imagination.

Very good, but I think there is a little bit after he let go of the bucket at the end...

[texmo]

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning.

The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

The ball hit one of the men and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in obvious agony.

The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me," she told him earnestly.

"Ummph, oooh, noooo... I'll be fine in a few minutes", he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch.

But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and put her hands inside. She began to massage his privates.

She then asked him, "How does that feel?"

He replied still in agony, "It feels great, but it doesn't do a thing for my thumb. It still hurts like hell!"

[SARGE]

This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was
printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers'
Compensation board. This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure....


Dear Sir "I am writing in response to your request for
additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I
put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the
accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later, were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth
floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the
roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down
and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the
bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so
suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope.
Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now
proceeding downward at an equal, impressive speed. This explained the
fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in
section 3 of the accident report form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the
fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
Fortunately, by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to
hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a great deal of pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of
bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now
devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50lbs. I
refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent,
down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I
met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken
tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter
with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I
fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were
cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks,
in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind
and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its
journey back down onto me.
This explains the two broken legs.

They settled his claim...

[sAsLEX]

Candidate for the darwin awards on a few occassions and also REPOst

[KLOWN]

they tried this on mythbuters because it is such a retold story, and they managd to recreate the experiance and deemed it plausible.

[SARGE]

they tried this on mythbuters because it is such a retold story, and they managd to recreate the experiance and deemed it plausible.



shit that recreation would hurt...

[Macktheknife]

Yeah but they had to remove 2 of the barrel's metal rings for it to work.
Crash test dummy had a bad day that day, they had to try it about 6 times to get it right! lol

[unhingedlizard]

I heard a song about this. Used to be sung by a folk singer in Scotland about
8 or 9 years ago

[JimO]

i heard that one in 1978

[Edbear]

i heard that one in 1978



Me too! What a coincidence!

[A_Mans_Ruin]

Possibly the funniest story in a long while. This is a bricklayer's
accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian
equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board.
This is a true story.
Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award
for sure.......



Dear Sir,
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in
Block 3 of the accident report form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of
my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following
details will be sufficient.
I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone
on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found
that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be
slightly in excess of 500lbs.
Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a
barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on
the sixth floor.
Securing the rope at ground I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and
loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it
tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11
of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs. Due to my surprise at
being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and
forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate
up the side of the building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now
proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the
fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in
section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my
rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two
knuckles deep into the pulley.
Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to
hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the
ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.
Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately
50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight.
As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the
building.In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up.
This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several
lacerations of my legs and lower body.
Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed
to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks
and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks,in
pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and
let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its
journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.
I hope this answers your inquiry.
Kevin Roben
Wagga Glass & Aluminium Pty Ltd
PO Box5004( 11 Dobney Ave)
Wagga Wagga NSW 2650

[Finn]

And old Pat Cooksey song...

http://www.leechvideo.com/video/view3984725.html

Funny as hell, when sung by Pat.

[A_Mans_Ruin]

Thats classic....
So much funnier when someone sayin it instead of reading it!!!!

[gunrunner]

More like "Some mothers do ave em" , way to go Frank :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

[Badjelly]

It dates back (at least) to 1958:

http://bleatings.blogspot.com/2006/01/literary-brick-bricklayers-lament.html

Are there any earlier sightings?

[JimO]

i remember it from the 70s

[A_Mans_Ruin]

Geezus... anyone would think this was a reminiscing thread.....

poke, poke, poke.....

Its funny regardless of how old it is, right?!

[disenfranchised]

They've even done this on Mythbusters to see if it was possible...I forget the result....I think they managed to get it to work once out of several attempts.

[EJK]

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[Str8 Jacket]

EJK, you are a PARTY POOPER! :shake:

[EJK]

Hey it's a myth, It coud have happened ;)

[Str8 Jacket]

Hey it's a myth, It coud have happened ;)

Doesnt matter, you've ruined my life now. :crybaby:

[sparky.scott]

Hey it's a myth, It coud have happened ;)

Arent all myths based on real stories? :innocent:

[awayatc]

Never let the truth get into the way of a good yarn.....:

A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the
kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle when it
accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handle bars,
was dragged through the glass patio doors and along with the motorcycle
dumped onto the floor inside the house.

The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room and found her
husband lying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle lying next to
him, and the shattered patio door. The wife ran to the phone and summoned
the ambulance. Because they lived on a fairly large hill, the wife went down
the several flights of stairs to the street to escort the paramedics to her
husband.

After the ambulance arrived and transported the man to the hospital, the
wife up righted the motorcycle and pushed it outside. Since gas was spilled
on the floor, the wife got some paper towels, blotted up the petrol, and
threw the towels in the toilet. The man was treated and released to come
home.

Upon arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door and the damage
done to his motorcycle. He became despondent, went to the bathroom, sat down
on the toilet and smoked a cigarette. After finishing the cigarette, he
flipped it between his legs into the toilet bowl while seated.

The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard the loud explosion and her husband
screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found her husband lying on the
floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering burns on the
buttocks, the back of his legs, and his groin.

The wife again ran to the phone to call the ambulance. The very same
paramedic crew was dispatched and the wife met them at the street. The
paramedics loaded the husband on to the stretcher and began carrying him to
the street. While they were going down the stairs to the street,
accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how the
husband had burned himself.

She told them and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them
slipped and tipped the stretcher, dumping the husband out. He fell down the
remaining stairs and broke his arm.

[marie_speeds]

The Bricklayer's Story
This true story of a bricklayer's accident report as printed in a newsletter of the English equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board.


Dear Sir,

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident report. I put 'Poor Planning' as the cause of my accident, but you asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident I was working alone on the roof of a new six-storey building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over that weighed 240 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent for the 240 lbs of bricks. You will note on the accident report that my weight is 135 lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3 of the accident report.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold the rope tightly, in spite of the excruciating pain I then now beginning to experience.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. Again in the vicinity of the third floor I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations to my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately cracked only three vertebrae.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six storeys above me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope. I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down over my body.

[EJK]

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[marie_speeds]

:rofl: It was funny reading it, it's even funnier watching it.

[Gremlin]

one of my favourite stories :D

edit: missed a couple of lines

The empty 50 pound barrel, weighing more than the rope I had let go, fell rapidly to earth, resulting in the two broken forearms and wrists when I raised by arms to protect myself.

I hope this information satisfactorily fulfills your request for further information.

[Edbear]

one of my favourite stories :D

+1 :yes:......