I'm getting neutered, when can I ride again?

[Oakie]

A question for the men.
The time has come to get me neutered (The big V. ... and no I'm not talking 'Harley'). How long after the op before I can ride again? 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, 5 weeks (heaven forbid!)
I thought it would be damned cool (and add to the telling of the story) to have the op and then ride home again. Trouble is that by the time I get home the anaesthetic may have worn off and I might not be able to lift a leg high enough to get off the bike.

I reckon if I get the op done on a Friday I can justify a weekend lying on the couch watching sport, even if I do have to hold a packet of frozen peas against my nuts for the duration. (Just gotta make sure I look miserable whenever the wife walks past. Shouldn't be hard ... frozen nuts will do that).

Anyhow, can any of you guys out there who have had your man-bits disconnected give me a clue as to how long it'll be before I can happily swing my leg over the seat without squealing? (Feel free to PM me if you don't feel comfortable discussing this for all to see.) :yes:

[DingDong]

my brothers have had the snip, they wernt up for much moving around for a week... but then again my wife got the dogs nut hacked off and he didnt mind a bit! mabey you should get you nuts removed?
Just kidding dude.

[Odin]

aaarrrrrrgggggg ...... you make me cringe in pain :no:

Thought about it my self to but will wait a few years (and i haven't got the guts right now anyway
:eek5: :crazy: :blink: :kick: :bye:

[vifferman]

Ah.. it's not neutering, Dude, just re-routing the main tadpole highway.

Tell ya what - I've done a few vasectomies meself, on rams. They didn't seem to mind too much, but they staggered a bit afterwards (mind you, it might've been the anaesthetic).

Buy me a dozen beer, and a bottle of whisky for yourself (anaesthetic), and I'll have a go. :rofl:

Haven't had the snip meself yet. Being on the other end of the scalpel put me off, especially since I've a low tolerance for pain. :whistle:

[Jonty]

Try being 6"2 and riding a ZXR 250 for more than 100km at a time - your boys will not know what hit em, after that I doubt they will be of any use to ya :niceone:

[Skunk]

I can give you good advice on how to recover quick if you want - PM me.
I rode in two days... and I'm a softcock.

[thehollowmen]

Been there done that (gasp but he's only 22)

oks, first of all buy a few bags of frozen peas. They'll reduce swelling and bruising if you keep them well applied for the first day. Just stuff them down a pair of tighty whiteys and change them when they warm up.

Invest in lots of tighty whitey style underpants, you'll need that support for the first few days. You'll also need that support if you want to lift a leg over the motorbike.

Give it about 2-3 days, but mount your bike CAREFULLY when you do, don't want to pull any of those stitches.

I got mine done on a friday, spent friday afternoon and saterday with ice down my pants and was able to ride again carefully on monday to go to work to process my vas deferens.

I didn't do this just right, so I ended up with one pulled stitch and a small scar. Be careful and don't push yourself!

Oh, I forgot. Scalpeless method doesn't have stitches, heals faster and needs more underwear support. I had scalpel method.

[Oakie]

my brothers have had the snip, they wernt up for much moving around for a week... but then again my wife got the dogs nut hacked off and he didnt mind a bit! mabey you should get you nuts removed?
Just kidding dude.

Hmm, castration? A bit extreme ... but it would stop the 'crushed nuts' syndrome following those times when I brake heavily with my wife on the back.

[TonyB]

I've had the chop. Can't remember exactly how long the doc said I should wait before riding- two weeks rings a bell. Ask the doc.

You are no doubt a little worried about getting it done. It was the most minor and least painful procedure I've ever had done. Less painful than say getting a tooth pulled or ingrown toe nails seen to. Infact, there was virtually no pain at all post op. Funnily enough, I was still nervous as hell and just couldn't relax properly....

The most important thing to remember is do what the doc tells you afterwards It really doesn't hurt during or afterwards (or shouldn't if done properly), so you are tempted to act normally, maybe go out for a beer, pick the kids up or whatever. Don't do it, sit back, relax and do what your told. The doc who did mine has done heap of these, the only ones to go wrong are the guy's who think 'doesn't hurt, I'll carry on as normal'.

[Oakie]

Try being 6"2 and riding a ZXR 250 for more than 100km at a time - your boys will not know what hit em, after that I doubt they will be of any use to ya :niceone:

I know what you mean. I'm a shade under 6'1. My daughter's partner has a ZXR and I had one as a loaner form the local shop for a few days. Been there, done that ... but only for 10 kms at a time. Can't imagine what 100 km would feel like.

[vifferman]

I'm a softcock.
But were you one beforehand? :rofl:
That does it - between the "Tales of Recovering From the Snip" and Skunk's "Tales of Not Being Able to Get It up Any More", I'm thoroughly put off.
Luckily for me, the vifferbabe's quite happy for me to remain intact.:yes:

[gamgee]

Give it about 2-3 days, but mount your bike CAREFULLY when you do, don't want to pull any of those stitches.

arrrgh thats the first time anything on this forum has made me cringe!!
heres something else to make you cringe:
http://www.ricecop.com/rcop_pics/001057-01.jpg

[crashe]

Oakie...

Thats the very first question you should have asked your surgeon when you booked in for the wee operation.

Ring them and ask them. Even the nurse's would be able to advise you...

Hey I just had on the 6th May the cot removed but the playpen is still there and I have to wait 8 weeks before I can ride again.... I dont think you will have to wait that long.

But dont rush getting back on it too soon.... you still have some anesethic (sp) in ya system (that can take a couple of weeks to leave ya body)
Cos if ya have to brake suddenly... and then its OUCH.!!!!

BTW well done mate.... for doing it... Wish more men would think like you... women being on drugs all those years aint good for them either.

PS: Do what the dr tells you to do.. If he says no lifting, he means it....
The stitches are in for about 10 days.. so please don't over do it...
Listen to your dr.. Do as you are told... just lay on the couch and watch TV and DVDs. Dont drink booze... cos of the anesthetic.... allow yourself to heal properly.

[Skunk]

But were you one beforehand? :rofl:
That does it - between the "Tales of Recovering From the Snip" and Skunk's "Tales of Not Being Able to Get It up Any More", I'm thoroughly put off.
Luckily for me, the vifferbabe's quite happy for me to remain intact.:yes:
Always been a softcock mate. And I got it done. What's your excuse again? :whistle:

Had the scalpel-less method. No frozens, just real tight underwear for a couple of days.

No pain, not even the op itself. I was surfcasting the next day with a 14' rod (fishing rod that is) and the effort the fling didn't hurt a bit.

[phantom]

i had my snip at 9 one morning, drove an hour home and had the rest of the day off work. No need for any extra pain killers and I'm no masochist, ran a 10k race a week later with no ill effects. The post-op test drive is a bit traumatising though. :whistle: It never feels good when you knock your knuts so just take it easy for a week - and no stoppies.

[vifferman]

Always been a softcock mate. And I got it done. What's your excuse again?
I've just never got around to it. Every time I suggest it, the wife tells me not to bother. Mebbe she doesn't miss playing the "Who's gonna sleep on the wet spot?" game. :spudwhat:
No other reason; I can get it for nowt under my medical insurance. Maybe that's a good reason to get it, so I can get the company's money's worth before I change jobs.

[scumdog]

I didn't worry about the frozen peas thing, result? feeling like I was walking around with a baby porcupine in the front of me Y-fronts and a constant barrage of "howdy pardner" and "why are you walking like John Wayne?"

It was a dodle, zero pain at the time and probably would have been pain free (as pain free as frozen nuts get) later if I had listened to the DR. and used the frozen peas.

Riding? for safety sake give it 3 days or so, you never know when you're going to have an 'off' or an unexpected 'panic stop'

[scumdog]

I've just never got around to it. Every time I suggest it, the wife tells me not to bother. Mebbe she doesn't miss playing the "Who's gonna sleep on the wet spot?" game. :spudwhat:
No other reason; I can get it for nowt under my medical insurance. Maybe that's a good reason to get it, so I can get the company's money's worth before I change jobs.

BTW The wet spot is just as big as it always was..

[Oakie]

Hey thanks everyone.
I'm going the scalpel-less way which is alledgedly quite painless and requires no stitches. There was something on TV about it last night and they actually showed the operation and the guy who was having it done made jokes all the way through it. I have heard elsewhere that it's pretty comfortable and that even the injection is less painful than the one you get at the dentist.
Anyway, the collective KB wisdom seems to be
> don't be a hero and take it easy afterwards
> wear tight underwear for a few days

Vifferman, thanks for the offer to do it yourself ... and for thinking you could handle it because you've handled rams before. (Shucks!)
And Crashe ... thanks for pointing out the implications of having to make a sudden stop on the way home from the op. Perhaps I'll just get someone to take me in the car instead. (And I hope you have a speedy recovery)

Final word ... I realised a few minutes ago that my avatar (our dog in his 'look at my dick' pose) is going to resemble me when I'm getting the operation done.

Cheers :grouphug:

[vifferman]

Hey thanks everyone.
I'm going the scalpel-less way which is alledgedly quite painless and requires no stitches.
What is "the scalpel-less way"? :spudwhat:


Final word ... I realised a few minutes ago that my avatar (our dog in his 'look at my dick' pose) is going to resemble me when I'm getting the operation done.

OH! So that's what your avatar is.
I thought it was some weird alien thing. :doh:

BTW The wet spot is just as big as it always was..
I was talking about if one hadn't been snippety-doodah'd, and had to resort to other methods. :whistle:

[Ixion]

What is "the scalpel-less way"? :spudwhat:


..

No scalpel or cutting. They just mash everything with a BLOODY BIG HAMMER :devil2:

[vifferman]

No scalpel or cutting. They just mash everything with a BLOODY BIG HAMMER :devil2:
Oh yeah - I've seen that on TV on the "harem" ad, where the blokes have to lift their kaftans for the application of the big crunching stones... :eek:

[Oakie]

you had to ask didn't you ....

In a no-scalpel vasectomy, the doctor feels under the skin of the scrotum to locate the vas deferens (the tubes through which sperm pass into the semen). The vas are then held in place with a small clamp. Next, a special instrument is used to make a tiny puncture in the skin and stretch the opening so the vas can be cut and tied. This approach produces very little bleeding, and no stitches are needed to close the punctures, which heal quickly by themselves. The newer method also causes less pain and fewer complications than conventional vasectomy.


But the good news is that vasectomies no longer require much cutting. With the “scalpel-less vasectomy” procedure, the process has become more of a pinch than a slash.


In the right hands, such as those of Grant Fowler, M.D., professor and vice chair of the department of family practice and community medicine at The University of Texas Medical School at Houston, the procedure is usually completed in about 15 to 30 minutes :no:

[FlyingDutchMan]

I heard from my cousins fiancee (insert big saga but was getting married to my cousin) and they wanted kids, so he got his vasectomy reversed. Aparently its not very pleasant and they swell up considerably & are quite tender for a period of about 6 weeks. So consider carefully before getting it done in the first palce... going back won't be pleasant!

[MOTOXXX]

man i saw that thing on 60 minutes and he said it was painless.

i think i went white as a ghost when i saw them put a needle into one of his nuts.
The couple was on tv talking about it and the lady said she wanted the husband to take some responsibility for protection.
i thought a condom would have been an easier option. lol

but what would i know. im just young, dumb and full of ...................
:yeah:

[F5 Dave]

Quite topical as there was doco on last night, presume you saw it. Watched with hand covering eyes during procedure. Yueeek! :puke:

One friend was so sore he couldn’t ride for at least a week. Another went home & ‘tested’ it that night.

Actually that’s a pretty good pun right there without trying :yes: Not sure whether anyone told him it takes a few days before the pipes are completely clear.

[Oakie]

i thought a condom would have been an easier option. lol

but what would i know. im just young, dumb and full of ...................
:yeah:

Yeah, condoms are easier but they're not fool-proof. We don't want anymore kids ...and there have been a couple of ...err ... 'frights' recently so it was time to get serious. Besides ... it's been a hell of a job finding those extra extra large condoms recently :whistle: :rofl:

[Hitcher]

Ah.. it's not neutering, Dude, just re-routing the main tadpole highway.

Tell ya what - I've done a few vasectomies meself, on rams. They didn't seem to mind too much, but they staggered a bit afterwards (mind you, it might've been the anaesthetic).
No, it's terminating the "main tadpole highway".

And why on earth would anybody want to vasectomise a ram?

[F5 Dave]

. . Besides ... it's been a hell of a job finding those extra extra large condoms recently :whistle: :rofl:

Yeah, -so you use the wrap 4 handkerchiefs around it first method too?

[Ixion]

Yeah, -so you use the wrap 4 handkerchiefs around it first method too?

Just use a small size gumboot. :devil2:

[Hitcher]

I've just never got around to it. Every time I suggest it, the wife tells me not to bother. Mebbe she doesn't miss playing the "Who's gonna sleep on the wet spot?" game.
I think somebody should draw you a map of the male genitalia...

[Skunk]

One friend was so sore he couldn’t ride for at least a week. Another went home & ‘tested’ it that night.
Actually that’s a pretty good pun right there without trying :yes: Not sure whether anyone told him it takes a few days before the pipes are completely clear.It does take a few 'goes' to clear the 'live' ones...

It was a dodle, zero pain at the time and probably would have been pain free (as pain free as frozen nuts get) later if I had listened to the DR. and used the frozen peas.
I took the Doc's advice and didn't use frozen's. Sweet as.

Guess it depends on the method. Mine was scalpel free.

[F5 Dave]

. . .
I think somebody should draw you a map of the male genitalia...

Get a job marking exams. Kids 'doodle' all the time they say.

Hey I'm on fire with the puns!! :rofl:

[Hitcher]

Get a job marking exams. Kids 'doodle' all the time they say.

Hey I'm on fire with the puns!!
If that's a fire, I'd hate to see you smouldering...

[vifferman]

I've just never got around to it. Every time I suggest it, the wife tells me not to bother. Mebbe she doesn't miss playing the "Who's gonna sleep on the wet spot?" game.
I think somebody should draw you a map of the male genitalia...
You've lost me. :spudwhat:
Why would someone want to vasectomise rams? Why not? It was probably one of the less weird things we used to do when I was a professional sheep-shagger. We used to vasectomise the less 'desirable' (from a potential progeny point of view) rams to use them as "teasers". No-one told them they were shooting blanks, so we could use them to find out which ewes were in oestrus, without unwanted lambs (we still managed to have lambs nearly all year round anyway). Interestingly (or not) they were only useful as teasers for a maximum of maybe two years, then they became disinterested in bonking and got fat and lazy...

[F5 Dave]

Weren’t worth all that expensive grass you were feedin’ them huh?

Still, that's where slow cook casserole or curry comes in handy.

[TonyB]

Mine involved scalpels. It was done the old fashioned way, where a decent chunk of the 'tadpole highway' is cut out- he showed it to me. Then the two ends are folded over and stitched. Apparently if the ends are too close together and not sealed they can rejoin- nature will find a way...
It was done by my ex-surgeon GP, as taught by a ureologist. I don't recall having a needle inserted into my nuts- I wasn't looking, but I'm sure that would have hurt much more than it did (which wasn't much).
Drove myself there on a Friday afternoon, had the op done. Drove myself home and then did as I was told- frozen peas on the nuts, no lifting, sit around and demand you be waited on hand and foot for the weekend (tough job that). There was no pain, which makes it tempting to ignore the docs instructions. Not a good idea, I know one guy that ended up with internal bleeding from his groin up into his abdomen. Took several weeks for it to stop, he was laid up, in pain and off work.

And just to have a wee rant, those of you that reckon your wife/ significant other should get her tubes tied instead, because you want to remain a 'complete man'- you fuggen-chicken-shit-big-girls-blouses!! If you're making her do that, then trust me, you weren't a 'man' in the first place!! For a woman to get it done is fairly major and invasive surgery. She will be laid up, in a fair bit of pain, and basically out of action for days....while YOU look after the kids. There can be complications, some of which can affect her for the rest of her life. All you have to do is lie down, drop your dacks, let a nurse shave you, put up with a little bit of discomfort while they give you a jab, and then you'll be on your way home in half an hour. Harden up!
Rant over... :niceone:

[Biff]

Mine involved scalpels. It was done the old fashioned way, where a decent chunk of the 'tadpole highway' is cut out- he showed it to me. Then the two ends are folded over and stitched. Apparently if the ends are too close together and not sealed they can rejoin- nature will find a way...


Yup - I'm in your gang there T.
Just when I thought all was done after they stitched me up I was a little upset to be told, "hang on Mr X, we've got to do the other side now". :mad:

Don't worry Oakie - all will be well again pretty soon. You'll walk like John Wayne for a few days, be psychologicaly scared for life, but on the up side you'll be able to fire in all directions without fear of producing more bug rugs.

Better to have a couple of pipes cut that the hatchet job the ladies have to go through I guess. http://img167.echo.cx/img167/6819/sperm0um.gif

[Oakie]

Yeah, -so you use the wrap 4 handkerchiefs around it first method too?

Nah, a couple of boot socks does the trick. Ya just got to remember which ones not to put on yer feet later on.

[Oakie]

And just to have a wee rant, those of you that reckon your wife/ significant other should get her tubes tied instead, because you want to remain a 'complete man'- you fuggen-chicken-shit-big-girls-blouses!! If you're making her do that, then trust me, you weren't a 'man' in the first place!! For a woman to get it done is fairly major and invasive surgery. She will be laid up, in a fair bit of pain, and basically out of action for days....while YOU look after the kids. There can be complications, some of which can affect her for the rest of her life. All you have to do is lie down, drop your dacks, let a nurse shave you, put up with a little bit of discomfort while they give you a jab, and then you'll be on your way home in half an hour. Harden up!
Rant over... :niceone:

Agreed. While for a long time it was important for me to remain 'intact', when the decision needed to be made, it was certainly a no-brainer for me to get it done instead of my wife. Besides, after years of regulating her body with chemicals or whatever, I thought it was my turn to step up.

[crashe]

And just to have a wee rant, those of you that reckon your wife/ significant other should get her tubes tied instead, because you want to remain a 'complete man'- you fuggen-chicken-shit-big-girls-blouses!! If you're making her do that, then trust me, you weren't a 'man' in the first place!! For a woman to get it done is fairly major and invasive surgery. She will be laid up, in a fair bit of pain, and basically out of action for days....while YOU look after the kids. There can be complications, some of which can affect her for the rest of her life. All you have to do is lie down, drop your dacks, let a nurse shave you, put up with a little bit of discomfort while they give you a jab, and then you'll be on your way home in half an hour. Harden up!
Rant over... :niceone:

Well said..... and I totally agree.

Having just had my gut sliced open and had a adominal Hysterectomy... I have been to hell and back the pain was bad... and Im still recovering from it... I am only able to walk short distances, NOT allowed to lift a thing, NO housework etc for 6 weeks and Im off my bike for at least 8 weeks.
so guys its time for you lot to harden up and think about ya women folk...
For goodness sake the women carry the baby for 9 months and what do you do........ smile... right its time to turn the books on you men...

For a woman to get her tubes tied and not produce kids can be done different ways now, but she needs just as much rest as to what I am going throu.

Women go throu a lot and men seem to go throu nothing....
What is a quick nick and cut.... its all over in less than 30 minutes... and a few days off work. My op took over 1 1/2 hours.

But when you have the wee cut done, remember to still use contraceptive stuff until you are given the all clear.

So TonyB, I am in full agreement with what you said.

[SPman]

Been there. Got done by that! :drinkup:

[phantom]

the worst part for me, ( apart from shaving bits of me that had never been shaved before ) was lying on the bed with my pride and joy bared to the world and the attractive practice nurse standing by hoping that I don't frighten her. The embarrasment sees to that. Us men just aren't used to that sort of thing :whistle:

[Lou Girardin]

Vasectomies are great. Unless you ever want to have kids again (For whatever reason).
Reversals aren't always possible.

[scumdog]

the worst part for me, ( apart from shaving bits of me that had never been shaved before ) was lying on the bed with my pride and joy bared to the world and the attractive practice nurse standing by hoping that I don't frighten her. The embarrasment sees to that. Us men just aren't used to that sort of thing :whistle:

No worries here, Dr and I had a long discussion about various episodes of Monty Python, had to keep reminding me to stop moving when I laughed.

[Coldkiwi]

No worries here, Dr and I had a long discussion about various episodes of Monty Python, had to keep reminding me to stop moving when I laughed.

a sharp blade in the vicinity of your nether regions would've put a stop to the shakes wouldn't it?

[Skyryder]

What sort of riding :love: are you talking about :ride:

Skyryder

[Ramius]

"I've had a vasectomy and I've had it reversed and it ain't fun!"

[Hitcher]

You've lost me. :spudwhat:
Why would someone want to vasectomise rams? Why not? It was probably one of the less weird things we used to do when I was a professional sheep-shagger. We used to vasectomise the less 'desirable' (from a potential progeny point of view) rams to use them as "teasers". No-one told them they were shooting blanks, so we could use them to find out which ewes were in oestrus, without unwanted lambs (we still managed to have lambs nearly all year round anyway). Interestingly (or not) they were only useful as teasers for a maximum of maybe two years, then they became disinterested in bonking and got fat and lazy...
So why not use fertile rams and use them to get the ewes pregnant, like most sheepfarmers do? Or were you artificially inseminating ewes? A wether would do exactly the same job in terms of mounting oestrus ewes and, if you fitted them with a crayon harness, mark them as well. Vasectomising rams seems like a huge waste of time, effort and vet costs (it is illegal to do this sort of operation unless under a vet's supervision) when there are easier, cheaper and just as effective ways of doing the same job.

[idb]

Nope....uhuh....no way....never....
I assume that the documentary was intended to encourage us by showing us how easy it is.
It's put me off completely.
I'm giving up sex........................better for me and if I'm honest, better for the world.

[TonyB]

Having just had my gut sliced open and had a adominal Hysterectomy... I have been to hell and back the pain was bad... and Im still recovering from it... I am only able to walk short distances, NOT allowed to lift a thing, NO housework etc for 6 weeks and Im off my bike for at least 8 weeks.

Ouch! You have my sympathy. I've had my gut sliced open too- in a big way, so I can appreciate what you are going through. Takes ages to recover from it, whereas with a vasectomy your back to normal in a few days.

Oh, and one pleasant side effect of the op- my wife found an article about vasectomy's that said that in order to clear out stragglers, the patient has to ejaculate many, many times before the first test....it works out at about one a day after 'normal service resumes'... naturally your partner will fell obliged to help out in any way she can :niceone: :devil2: :niceone:

[Eurodave]

I got my snip about 15 years ago when I was still in the Air Farce @ Wigram, & it was done in the Army's then new containerised Field Hospital at Burnham,sort of like a modern day MASH.
Anyway, it was no big deal & all over with the same day.
A bit of minor discomfort for a few days then , as they say,"normal sevice was resumed"
Ive never been into condoms & coitus interuptus produced 4 sons & a daughter [doh!!!] so the op was a quantum leap forward in the nocturnal activity's department
You REALLY NEED to be sure that no more kids are wanted & I agree with previous posts that taking responsability for contraception is the least we blokes can do to pull our weight in a relationship [aside from doing the dishes & vacuuming every now & then]

[Lou Girardin]

It sounds like some people are confused, a vasectomy is not contraception, it's sterilisation. If you want to take responsibility for contraception use a gumboot.

[MSTRS]

Good on ya. As others have said, it is not really a big deal for a bloke as compared to what a woman has to go thru. Stupid male pride stopped me for years until the day came when I couldn't rationalise that any more. Was almost a non-event in hindsight. One thing tho - I always thought that black men were well-hung :no: :no: :rofl: Oh - and 70 test firings before clearance given

[Oakie]

: Oh - and 70 test firings before clearance given

70! Hell. I better organise myself some quiet time with some men's magazines.

[F5 Dave]

Motorcycle trader. PB. Engineering Supplies catalogue?

[Lias]

My mate and his missus are trying to save to have her tubes untied.. NOT cheap. She had them tied during her first marriage (after 3 kids) which folded, and shes only in her mid 20's and unable to have any more rugrats until they can afford the couple of grand.. My mates a bit bummed cos he wants rugrats of his own.

My stepdad had his reversed when he married my mum.. He was in pain for quite some time, not nearly as simple as the chop in the first place. He'd also had his done after 2 kids in his first marriage in his 20's.

Personally I reckon to not get either done until yer much older.. Its certainly not a procedure I'll be thinking about till I'm 40ish.

[MSTRS]

70! Hell. I better organise myself some quiet time with some men's magazines.
Hunting&Fishing, KiwiRider, Yachting Monthly - that sort of thing?

[Oakie]

Hunting&Fishing, KiwiRider, Yachting Monthly - that sort of thing?

No, something to encourage hammering, pounding and grinding. You guessed it ... 'The Builder's Monthly' !
(yeah, go one then someone ... lets have a cheap joke about 'erecting' something)

[vifferman]

So why not use fertile rams and use them to get the ewes pregnant, like most sheepfarmers do? Or were you artificially inseminating ewes?
Yes. Other trials too, like embryo transfers, etc. Various 'valid' reasons. Despite this "careful animal husbandry", we ended up with lots of mystery lambs all year round. And geeps/shoats (the station bordered goat-infested bush).
These 'orphan lambs' were sold for beer money to a friendly local farmer.:whistle:

A wether would do exactly the same job in terms of mounting oestrus ewes and, if you fitted them with a crayon harness, mark them as well.
Wethers are less effective - they're a bit ghey.
"Crayon harness"? You mean 'tupperware' :rofl:
The rats used to love supplementing their Winter diets with those crayons. It was easy to follow the multi-coloured trails to their rat holes.
The ones in the ceiling were given old documents to shred.

Vasectomising rams seems like a huge waste of time, effort and vet costs (it is illegal to do this sort of operation unless under a vet's supervision) when there are easier, cheaper and just as effective ways of doing the same job.
Agreed. I wasn't really privy to the reason rams were selected for sterilisation, but IIRC it may have been for something that rendered them unsuitable for breeding. We only did a few of them.

Vet? A lot of the veterinary surgery we did was somehow under the aegis of the MAF vet, even though he wasn't there in person.

But (believe it or not) that wasn't the dumbest thing we did, not by a long shot. This was in the days immediately before doing things for 'scientific curiousity' went out the window and scientists had to provide commercial justification for their "mad scientisting". Some of the trials beggared belief...

[Hitcher]

But (believe it or not) that wasn't the dumbest thing we did, not by a long shot. This was in the days immediately before doing things for 'scientific curiousity' went out the window and scientists had to provide commercial justification for their "mad scientisting". Some of the trials beggared belief...
I remember some interesting stuff that was done in the early 1980s under the aegis of the then MAF (when the F stood for Fisheries) that had research farms and facilities all over the place, staffed by dedicated scientists who had raised doing their own thing to an artform.

Did you ever get to play with an electro-ejaculator? "They don't like it up 'em, Captain Mainwaring, Sir!"...

[phantom]

in a previous life I used to service the electro-ejaculator that was used on the Livestock Improvement bulls - a beautifully made piece of mahogany about the same size as a big bikies arm with polished brass electrodes down the length of it. Never saw it working but the apprentice boy was threatened with it once or twice

[Oakie]

in a previous life I used to service the electro-ejaculator that was used on the Livestock Improvement bulls - a beautifully made piece of mahogany about the same size as a big bikies arm with polished brass electrodes down the length of it. Never saw it working but the apprentice boy was threatened with it once or twice

Perhaps that's what I need to help me reach my 70 'practice shots'. Nah hang on ... there's plenty of light sockets around home that I can just ...err...plug into.

[TonyB]

Perhaps that's what I need to help me reach my 70 'practice shots'. Nah hang on ... there's plenty of light sockets around home that I can just ...err...plug into.
I smell sausages!

[Hitcher]

in a previous life I used to service the electro-ejaculator that was used on the Livestock Improvement bulls - a beautifully made piece of mahogany about the same size as a big bikies arm with polished brass electrodes down the length of it. Never saw it working but the apprentice boy was threatened with it once or twice
That's the very thing! A slightly lesser diameter device was used for goats and sheep. Brings tears to one's eyes just imagining...

[vifferman]

Did you ever get to play with an electro-ejaculator? "They don't like it up 'em, Captain Mainwaring, Sir!"...
Ha ha ha!!:rofl:
Yup, I wielded that 'toy'. They certainly didn't like it up 'em.

However, I had some friends who worked on a sheep farm (privately owned) and they recounted with glee tales of the "ram with a fond liking for the 'pleasures' of the Electrojaculator" who lived on the farm! He used to trot up to anybody on the farm in hope of a session with the Lectrick Lassie.

I tells ya, working in the Reproductive Physiology section of MAF gives one a fair host of ribald experiences. Have to stick 'em in a novel one day. Tall tales and true, from the dark ages....

[Biff]

Forget getting your tubes tied, any woman would think twice about letting this guy anywhere near her, with his mouth.

[Paul in NZ]

Ooooh! Excellent... Time for my little snippet of info..

Made the appointment (well having a scare after the twins and being told Vicki had a 73% chance of another multiple birth would do that really)

It was at "Family Planning" but it seemed to be run by a group of neo nazi lesbian that were really only interested in how Vicki felt about it all... HELLO I'm the one getting cut here!! They thought she should go on a 'retreat' afterwards... fark me! I wondered if they were going to burn my testicles off with a flaming torch and bury the ashes while dancing naked (shudder) around a bonfire on the full moon or something... Bloody nutters the lot of them (and doubtless cat fanciers)

Anyway.. come the day I was wheeled in and the big green sheet placed over the lads! The big green sheet has a small square hole and one of the witches reached in with her claw and hauled the tackle out.. Hmm.. Had a nasty moment when I though she was just guuna bite them off with her yellow pointy teeth but after a bit of wiggling... There was only one naked bit in the room but boy did I feel... 'exposed'.

Any who. Vicki was invited in for the op some she would have 'closure' or something! I thought the whole coven was in there with me and the doc (900 years old and probably booted out of proper medical practise for collecting jars full of preseved genitalia)

The right side gets done, snip snip, no yuckin furries boyo and I'm thinking this aint all bad when Jack the ripper starts on the other side..

Snip... Ooops!

Ooops is NOT a word you want to hear when a man with a very sharp knife is fondling your goolies.

Next I hear (paying attention by now) my darling wife say.. "Is that supposed to happen?" as a little splattering stream of blood (mine) falls on the sheet in front of my eyes... OMG! I'm trying to sit up now as the toughest nurse slams me back down!

"Oh somethimes" says the gowned one as the coven of aged nurses quickly find a few sutures to close off the little bleeder.. heh heh nothing to worry about!

So off i go home... a little concerned!

Naturally I'm a rough tough southern man and go out and mow the lawn when I get home (shame to waste a day off eh)

Next morning.... fark me dead! I have 2 massive blackboy peaches where I used to have nuts! (this was when i became a fruit)

Ouch!

The blood vessel had bled a little causing some bloody impressive bruising and the lawn mowing caused some very impressive swelling! 3 or 4 days later it was all sweet and we took it for a test drive! No problems ever since!

So...

Go home and do the laying down frozen peas thing and don't be a jerk just cos the injection has not worn off or else your wife could be describing the size and colour of your nuts to her mother and sister and THEY could ask for a look too.. (not bloody likely) Plus my doctor and his nurse were VERY impressed

[250learna]

aaarrrrrrgggggg ...... you make me cringe in pain :no:

I second that, the thought alone makes the hair on the back of my neck stand.
Your a brave man, all the best :niceone:

[Hitcher]

Go home and do the laying down frozen peas thing and don't be a jerk just cos the injection has not worn off or else your wife could be describing the size and colour of your nuts to her mother and sister and THEY could ask for a look too.. (not bloody likely) Plus my doctor and his nurse were VERY impressed
All that AND no claw. That man deserves a DB.

[Pixie]

A question for the men.
The time has come to get me neutered (The big V. ... and no I'm not talking 'Harley'). How long after the op before I can ride again? 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, 5 weeks (heaven forbid!)
I thought it would be damned cool (and add to the telling of the story) to have the op and then ride home again. Trouble is that by the time I get home the anaesthetic may have worn off and I might not be able to lift a leg high enough to get off the bike.

I reckon if I get the op done on a Friday I can justify a weekend lying on the couch watching sport, even if I do have to hold a packet of frozen peas against my nuts for the duration. (Just gotta make sure I look miserable whenever the wife walks past. Shouldn't be hard ... frozen nuts will do that).

Anyhow, can any of you guys out there who have had your man-bits disconnected give me a clue as to how long it'll be before I can happily swing my leg over the seat without squealing? (Feel free to PM me if you don't feel comfortable discussing this for all to see.) :yes:
I know someone with cats who would appreciate the testes for cat toys

[Oakie]

I know someone with cats who would appreciate the testes for cat toys

Hey ... the dangle-berries are staying in their home. They just won't be able to access the front door any more.
They'll just be there for appearances sake ... a bit like the 'ram air system' intakes on ZXR250s. (Bet I'm the first person to compare his scrotum to a part of a bike!)

[MSTRS]

Hey ... the dangle-berries are staying in their home. They just won't be able to access the front door any more.
They'll just be there for appearances sake ... a bit like the 'ram air system' intakes on ZXR250s. (Bet I'm the first person to compare his scrotum to a part of a bike!)
Other way round?? Some bike parts like a post-op scrotum - all wrinkled up & useless. :rofl:

[skidMark]

why :weird:
*** looks down and promises himself that will never happen***

:no:

thats like a permenant time out...

[MSTRS]

Never say never mate

[Oakie]

I used to say never, now way, no how. Then common sense reared it's head.
I'm 45, my daughters are 21 and 18 and I'll be buggered if I'm going to go through all that child-rearing thing again .... as wonderful and rewarding as it was. The next 30 odd years are just for my wife and myself and if the most practical way to achieve that is to have the snip ... then bring it on! :yes:

[TonyB]

I used to say never, now way, no how. Then common sense reared it's head.
I'm 45, my daughters are 21 and 18 and I'll be buggered if I'm going to go through all that child-rearing thing again .... as wonderful and rewarding as it was. The next 30 odd years are just for my wife and myself and if the most practical way to achieve that is to have the snip ... then bring it on! :yes:
Too right! I know a bloke about your age who has divorced his first wife, married a lovely nubile young woman, and now has a new born baby to look after......at least if he'd had the snip he'd have a viable excuse not to start all over again...

[Beemer]

Well, our cat went in for her ovariohysterectomy yesterday (fancy word for a snip and tuck for a female!) and today she's climbing trees, so there!

Wish they hadn't shown Willy de Witt having his vascectomy while I was having my tea the other night though - the operation itself was bad enough, but I can't get the sight of his wrinkled balls out of my mind... I noticed the husband was very quiet while it was on though!

[jazbug5]

Too right! I know a bloke about your age who has divorced his first wife, married a lovely nubile young woman, and now has a new born baby to look after......at least if he'd had the snip he'd have a viable excuse not to start all over again...

Oh, goodness... it seems I've had my sympathy glands surgically removed somehow. Wonder how that happened..?

[FzerozeroT]

I'm surprised no-ones bought up the Vatsyayann Technique of vasectomy, if you make a cut in your skin ABOVE the penis you can grab the vas, cut and tie (both sides from one hole) and stitch the wound. so in the end you have 2 or 3 stitches on the pubic mound, so as long as you don't grind into the tank you're sweet.

The guy to ring is the dude who invented it
Suresh Vatsyayann
Vercoe Clinic
(07) 849 2767
Hamilton

Theres info on this site
http://drblayney.com/Vasectomy.html

I know there are other doctors in NZ who use the technique but don't know why the guys who get on TV still use the old technique

[scumdog]

Never say never mate
I laughed so much the "Bad vibrations and "Beam me up Buttercup" with "You've lost that fuckin feeling" and "Bites in White Satin" really set the moment"!!!! Ta CB
Bend me Shape me - Amen Corner

[wari]

Onda farrm ... my labra-door usedta swal-low RAm test-iccles wholle and warrm .. no chewin' needed .. :yes:

HOlldon ... :scratch: ... wasdat rell-e-vent .. dunno ... :spudwhat:

BOy datt looks good ... ==> :drinkup: <== ... CAn he drink orr what :yes:

[wari]

...Wish they hadn't shown Willy de Witt having his vascectomy while I was having my tea the other night though - ...

WIlly da HAlff witt .. :rofl: ... :confused: ... :scratch: ... :wari:

[MSTRS]

WIlly da HAlff witt .. :rofl: ... :confused: ... :scratch: ... :wari:
Time for a name change? Willy de Snip?

[Oakie]

Well I thought just using a guy with the name 'Willy' was a bit of a joke anyway.

[MSTRS]

Well I thought just using a guy with the name 'Willy' was a bit of a joke anyway.
If it hadn't been caught on film, I'd have said "Willy? BettieWon't"

[vifferman]

Time for a name change? Willy de Snip?
:niceone:
His real name's William McGechie (sp?)
When I lived in Hamilton, my mate worked with him in the "Funny Business" comedy troupe. They visited us, and he left some money on our toilet cistern to pay for using it...:weird:

Actually, I watched them live, and he's very good at handling hecklers and wotnot - that was funnier than his routine. :yes:
My (ex)mate sucked.

[Podo]

I was back in the saddle the same day, and I'm a wus.

[Oakie]

Just thought I'd wrap this old thread up. Here's an extract from my annual homepage report to friends and family with the gory details of the snip.

A disconnection. Ok. This was a biggie for me. This year I felt the the time was right for me to go under the knife and get the plumbing altered. In August I had a vasectomy. All sorts of reasons indicated that this was a good course of action to take .... and so the action was taken!
It was an interesting experience to say the least. It actually took me six weeks to make my initial appointment from the time I got the information on it during my 'men's wellness' checkup in May (oh yes it's been an enlightening year medically for me!). Courage was mustered though and I did eventually make the phone call and arranged my first consultation.
The consultation went well once I got over the trauma of another fella handling my wedding tackle. I then listened to his well practiced presentation (with diagrams) on what would happen and remember thinking that he sounded a bit like a recording ... which is entirely reasonable as he'd done something like 3000 such presentations before mine. I was paying great attention and being mature about the whole thing .... but then he ruined it by saying the 'M' word. "The 'M' word?" I hear you say. Yes ... 'masturbation'. The sentence was "after three months you need to provide a sample for testing and you do that by masturbation". Now it wasn't so much the word ... it was how he pronounced it with great emphasis on the 's'. Sort of like "masssssturbation". That was it. I lost my detached matter-of-fact air regarding this fella poking around in my genitalia with a glorified soldering iron and began a huge internal battle to avoid giggling like a school-boy because at the same time I damned near quipped "Oh neat, any excuse will do" and just managed to bite my tongue in time. I'm pleased to report though that I was able to retain at least my outward show of decorum and within a short time return to total seriousness. ( A fella telling you how he is going to slice into your scrotum with a scalpel will promote a feeling of seriousness ... believe me!).

Any how...the fateful day arrived and with Vicki for company I presented myself at the the doctor's surgery at 9.15 a.m. ready for neutering. I'm sure I could make up lots of horror stories about it but it wasn't that bad. The worst part was after he had made the first incision, hooked out the vas with the crochet hook or whatever he used to hook it out with (nooooo, I didn't look) and started the actual 'ectomy' part of the operation. At that time I smelt smoke. I was concerned that the next words I would hear were "Oh I'm sorry Mr Oakden, I seem to have set you scrotum on fire" but I believe that was just the separating/cauterising part of the op. Anyway, it was all over in twenty minutes and probably less distressing than the same amount of time spent in a dentist's chair. I suppose to sum up I need say no more than at the start the doc hooked me up to a pulse monitoring thingee. At that time my pulse rate was 60. During the op it never got above 72. As I walked to the car I felt pretty damned tough.

That feeling lasted for about another 20 minutes.

Then the local anaesthetic wore off.

For the next couple of days then it felt like someone had bent back a wooden ruler and flicked me in the nuts with it ... but that they'd done it five minutes ago so that it was a dull ache rather than being 'rolling on the ground holding your bollocks' acutely sore. In all honesty it took me about a month to get completely over it. The dull ache subsided in a couple of days but I still felt it grab whenever I ran or jumped or otherwise jarred my nether regions. Fortunately though it was all better by the time cricket started again at the end of September and that was certainly part of the plan.

There's a little more but it included a couple of links (one to here) and I didn't know if I could copy / paste that.
Feel free to check out the rest of my homepage if you want. The first bit is about biking. The address is in my profile.

[The_Dover]

If you've been neutered you should probably be riding a honda.

[Blind spot]

Don't do it mate!
Mrs blindspot sent me off to get me firing blanks,
That was fine.
But now she won't let me on the range any more

[Colapop]

I've had it done (the snip) and I got to say, the actual doesn't live up to the hype. All the horror stories, anecdotes and generally terrifying tales (pun) are just that, stories. I had a couple of days pain/ache took it easy for a couple of weeks to make sure and haven't looked back. No loss of form, function or f*cking ability!

Incidentally me and the missus split up about a year later. I hooked up with a woman, we split up and eventually me and the ol girl got back together. I'm glad I haven't got a stray hanging around now.

I've also seen the havoc a tubal ligation can cause for a woman, so definitely don't reccomend that.

If you're thinking about it guys - it's cheaper, easier and better for a guy than it is for a woman, and you can have as much fun as you like without the risk of strays.

[sAsLEX]

I'm glad I haven't got a stray hanging around now.


Did you leave a dose in a freezer in case you changed your mind later on?

[Colapop]

Nah I got 2 great kids ('cept when they're fighting) and if it be that something happens to them, then so be it. Yep I'll be sad, but in no way do I think I could replace them. As for any 'new' relationship she can take as she gets me. Don't trust freezer folks... " That bottle'll do. They're not gonna know...."

[Finn]

Don't do it mate!
Mrs blindspot sent me off to get me firing blanks,
That was fine.
But now she won't let me on the range any more

Get a silencer and take her by surprise.

[sAsLEX]

Get a silencer and take her by surprise.

sneak in the back door?

[Finn]

sneak in the back door?

Well it would make a statement.

[Colapop]

You sure your neighbors hubby would be ok with that?