Old Fucker Isles

[Maha]

No not some lavish castaway sundrenched bit of paradise in the pacific...
Im talking about the those slow old fuckers at Supermarkets and Four Square bla bla..
They need thier own little old fuckers isle, an isle where I can choose not to go!
I was walking towards a checkout isle today, lady was free, I could see that from halfway up isle two at the local Four Square. Just as I reach the wide open space of the shop front, hand already in the shopping basket, this old fucker looms into view to my right about three pace's out from the checkout!
Fuck! Fuck!.... arse he beat me, fuck!
He has a trolley tooooooooo oooooooohhhhh fucken' ell'!!
Slowly he reach's for his shopping (piece by fucking piece)..''how much you got there fulla'?
7-8 items, not toooo bad I guess.
Finally he gets all items out onto the counter, then searches for his wallet, please of fucking please have your wallet!
Yes he does!
But which fucking card?
Checkout lady helps him with that...ahhhhh good ole' Westpac...
So is that Chq? Sav? or Cred?....
That would be Cred, he squints and bends to about 3 inches from the eftpos machine...
Its only swipe and four numbers pops, come on mate, the queue is five deep now!
Transaction complete..
His items are now loaded back into his trolley.
My turn, I have three items, swipe, tap tap tap tap enter goodbye..
Turn to leave and ahhhhhhh fuck! that old fucker hasn't made it out of the shop yet, and whats more, hes bloking the doorway with his bloody trolley.

Bless em'.

[Virago]

He may be slow, but he probably knows how to spell aisle...:facepalm:

[colonel]

Shit Mark dont you know you always sent the woman shopping

[MSTRS]

Let the record show, I was nowhere near Warkworth today...

[Maha]

He may be slow, but he probably knows how to spell aisle...:facepalm:

Thank you Mr Collins.....:yes:
I could say it was a play on words due to my opening sentence.....:corn:


Shit Mark dont you know you always sent the woman shopping

Its roll play Friday here in Warkworth Kelvin....:rockon:

[MSTRS]

And you're on a role?

[far queue]

... Im talking about the those slow old fuckers at Supermarkets and Four Square bla bla...That'll probably be you one day too. That old guy would've been a bright young chap once, but alas old age and the ailments that come with it come to most of us eventually. Personally I don't have a lot of time for the idiots of the world, but people who are simply struggling because of old age and/or disabilities I can find some patience for.

When I say "idiots" I'm not talking genuine intellectual disabilities either.

[Mom]

Shit Mark dont you know you always sent the woman shopping

Ahem! Cough! Cough! I know I laughed at you for running out of gas last week, no need to give my man heaps because I did :killingme

He is well aware of how things work :yes: We share :sunny:


Thank you Mr Collins.....:yes:
I could say it was a play on words due to my opening sentence.....:corn:

Its roll play Friday here in Warkworth Kelvin....:rockon:

Ohhhhhhhhh what are you going to be tonight?

[scumdog]

That'll probably be you one day too. That old guy would've been a bright young chap once, but alas old age and the ailments that come with it come to most of us eventually. Personally I don't have a lot of time for the idiots of the world, but people who are simply struggling because of old age and/or disabilities I can find some patience for.

When I say "idiots" I'm not talking genuine intellectual disabilities either.

True.

Some of these old dodderers have REALLY lived when younger, lived a life such as we could only read about or imagine.:yes:

And chances are you are facing what you will be like in 30+ years.

Only you probably will not have lived anywhere the adventures they did..

[Maha]

That'll probably be you one day too. That old guy would've been a bright young chap once, but alas old age and the ailments that come with it come to most of us eventually. Personally I don't have a lot of time for the idiots of the world, but people who are simply struggling because of old age and/or disabilities I can find some patience for.

When I say "idiots" I'm not talking genuine intellectual disabilities either.

I sure hope so....
Nothing I would like better than to piss off younger idiots if you know what I mean.
Is no challenge with the older ones.

[Genie]

Careful Mark...that is you in a few years time.

I do know how you felt, had the same thing happen the other day at the local New World. I started to get a little antsy and impatient then...i used the time to relax a little, forget the stresses of life...She took that bloody long, I forgot what I was there for. And, same thing at the door, I then helped her to get her bits to the car, poor dear had vision issues as well.

[Usarka]

I was that slow about this time last year, very frustrating.

Actually it's kind of depressing walking around during the day and seeing the misfits, bludgers, passed-its and shift-zombies doing their thing. Get out of my fucking way scumbag, I want dorritos!

[Maha]

Careful Mark...that is you in a few years time.

I do know how you felt, had the same thing happen the other day at the local New World. I started to get a little antsy and impatient then...i used the time to relax a little, forget the stresses of life...She took that bloody long, I forgot what I was there for. And, same thing at the door, I then helped her to get her bits to the car, poor dear had vision issues as well.

Im already half way there, in fact, it wasn't that long ago that I my eye sight was that of an 80 year old. I would walk down the road and bump into people, and get this, they would apologise to me...:corn:
I no longer have left over pee in my pants though.....:innocent:

[oldrider]

No not some lavish castaway sundrenched bit of paradise in the pacific...
Im talking about the those slow old fuckers at Supermarkets and Four Square bla bla..
They need thier own little old fuckers isle, an isle where I can choose not to go!
I was walking towards a checkout isle today, lady was free, I could see that from halfway up isle two at the local Four Square. Just as I reach the wide open space of the shop front, hand already in the shopping basket, this old fucker looms into view to my right about three pace's out from the checkout!
Fuck! Fuck!.... arse he beat me, fuck!
He has a trolley tooooooooo oooooooohhhhh fucken' ell'!!
Slowly he reach's for his shopping (piece by fucking piece)..''how much you got there fulla'?
7-8 items, not toooo bad I guess.
Finally he gets all items out onto the counter, then searches for his wallet, please of fucking please have your wallet!
Yes he does!
But which fucking card?
Checkout lady helps him with that...ahhhhh good ole' Westpac...
So is that Chq? Sav? or Cred?....
That would be Cred, he squints and bends to about 3 inches from the eftpos machine...
Its only swipe and four numbers pops, come on mate, the queue is five deep now!
Transaction complete..
His items are now loaded back into his trolley.
My turn, I have three items, swipe, tap tap tap tap enter goodbye..
Turn to leave and ahhhhhhh fuck! that old fucker hasn't made it out of the shop yet, and whats more, hes bloking the doorway with his bloody trolley.

Bless em'.

Aha, I knew we were friends from the outset, you have been watching me in the supermarket, haven't you! :drinknsin Buddies forever! :yes:

[far queue]

... I then helped her to get her bits to the car ...It's always nice when some young thing gives you a hand with your "bits" :shifty:


...I no longer have left over pee in my pants though.....:innocent:Washing day today was it?

[Maha]

Aha, I knew we were friends from the outset, you have been watching me in the supermarket, haven't you! :drinknsin Buddies forever! :yes:

More than likely John, and would you agree that.....
Old people should take cash when they go shopping (speed things up a but) oh and relative.:sunny:

[oldrider]

And, same thing at the door, I then helped her to get her bits to the car, poor dear had vision issues as well.

I used to keep my bits firmly in my Y fronts, nowadays they are tucked firmly in my socks! :killingme

Socks are not as revealing (pissle stains :sick: ) as the clean white undies! :o

Finding new ways to protect your bits keeps your mind active and Alzheimer's at bay! :lol:

[Usarka]

I used to keep my bits firmly in my Y fronts, nowadays they are tucked firmly in my socks! :killingme


Is that why you old farts are always dragging your feet!!!? :lol:

[Pussy]

I used to keep my bits firmly in my Y fronts, nowadays they are tucked firmly in my socks! :killingme


You should wrap it around your leg, and pretend it's a varicose vein, John! :)

[Genie]

You should wrap it around your leg, and pretend it's a varicose vein, John! :)

eeeek.....that's just plain scarey...if you know what I mean

[Laava]

I have experienced the slowness of which you speak Mark and have to say that, incredibly slow as they may seem, when you change direction to step around them somehow they have already predicted this manoever and headed you off. Phenominal!
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[schrodingers cat]

It's not just the oldies. I have a theory that folks behaviour with a trolley in a supermarket is a mirror for how they drive.

Think about it

The dozy types with no periphial vision and no sense that there are others behind them.

The morons who stop because the gap is too small.

The selfish bastards who simply stop in the middle to spend ages choosing what brand of diced tomatos best suits their needs

The mothers with buzzcut haircutted children (grrrrrrrrrr fucking children) so busy on crowd control they have no idea where they're going.

The mutton dressed as lamb hoity's regally headed for the $40+ wine selection

And yes, the young aggressive men carving everyone up on their way to buy alcohol (criteria - cheap. Plentiful)

Feel free to add to my list


As for old fucker aisle's - you have to realise that really, they're all 'special needs' checkouts.


I hate shopping.

[munster]

Maybe he was going slow because he was on the prowl?

Which way was his bananas facing?

[Grubber]

No not some lavish castaway sundrenched bit of paradise in the pacific...
Im talking about the those slow old fuckers at Supermarkets and Four Square bla bla..
They need thier own little old fuckers isle, an isle where I can choose not to go!
I was walking towards a checkout isle today, lady was free, I could see that from halfway up isle two at the local Four Square. Just as I reach the wide open space of the shop front, hand already in the shopping basket, this old fucker looms into view to my right about three pace's out from the checkout!
Fuck! Fuck!.... arse he beat me, fuck!
He has a trolley tooooooooo oooooooohhhhh fucken' ell'!!
Slowly he reach's for his shopping (piece by fucking piece)..''how much you got there fulla'?
7-8 items, not toooo bad I guess.
Finally he gets all items out onto the counter, then searches for his wallet, please of fucking please have your wallet!
Yes he does!
But which fucking card?
Checkout lady helps him with that...ahhhhh good ole' Westpac...
So is that Chq? Sav? or Cred?....
That would be Cred, he squints and bends to about 3 inches from the eftpos machine...
Its only swipe and four numbers pops, come on mate, the queue is five deep now!
Transaction complete..
His items are now loaded back into his trolley.
My turn, I have three items, swipe, tap tap tap tap enter goodbye..
Turn to leave and ahhhhhhh fuck! that old fucker hasn't made it out of the shop yet, and whats more, hes bloking the doorway with his bloody trolley.

Bless em'.

Hmmm...in the very near future this could well be you....what goes round comes round.


That'll probably be you one day too. That old guy would've been a bright young chap once, but alas old age and the ailments that come with it come to most of us eventually. Personally I don't have a lot of time for the idiots of the world, but people who are simply struggling because of old age and/or disabilities I can find some patience for.

When I say "idiots" I'm not talking genuine intellectual disabilities either.

Shit!!! I just said this again didn't I. Well said!


True.

Some of these old dodderers have REALLY lived when younger, lived a life such as we could only read about or imagine.:yes:

And chances are you are facing what you will be like in 30+ years.

Only you probably will not have lived anywhere the adventures they did..

WW2 springs to mind. So right you are. We haven't lived the lives some of these elderly have and thankfully never will hopefully.


Careful Mark...that is you in a few years time.

I do know how you felt, had the same thing happen the other day at the local New World. I started to get a little antsy and impatient then...i used the time to relax a little, forget the stresses of life...She took that bloody long, I forgot what I was there for. And, same thing at the door, I then helped her to get her bits to the car, poor dear had vision issues as well.

Nice to see you opened your mind somewhat and ended up giving a hand. Very nice! Makes you feel better when you put your time into someone else don't ya think....even if it may only be 3 or so minutes.

[Grubber]

It's not just the oldies. I have a theory that folks behaviour with a trolley in a supermarket is a mirror for how they drive.

Think about it

The dozy types with no periphial vision and no sense that there are others behind them.

The morons who stop because the gap is too small.

The selfish bastards who simply stop in the middle to spend ages choosing what brand of diced tomatos best suits their needs

The mothers with buzzcut haircutted children (grrrrrrrrrr fucking children) so busy on crowd control they have no idea where they're going.

The mutton dressed as lamb hoity's regally headed for the $40+ wine selection

And yes, the young aggressive men carving everyone up on their way to buy alcohol (criteria - cheap. Plentiful)

Feel free to add to my list


As for old fucker aisle's - you have to realise that really, they're all 'special needs' checkouts.


I hate shopping.


The impatient piece if shite that just hates all of the above!!!:angry:

[schrodingers cat]

The impatient piece if shite that just hates all of the above!!!:angry:

Ho ho ho - Boom Crash!
How we laughed

[MSTRS]

...I then helped her to get her bits to the car, poor dear had vision issues as well.

Her bits? You don't mean they were detachable, like her glass eye, false teeth and hearing aid?
And to her car? Vision issues? :shit:

[Goblin]

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[Grubber]

Ho ho ho - Boom Crash!
How we laughed

Typical!:mellow:

[oldrider]

Our disabled son has just got a walker frame, what a god send but you have to be able to laugh at the problems it can create too! :nya:

He certainly does, he has a great sense of humour, thankfully! :killingme

PC dweebs are killing this country! (IMHO) :facepalm:

Good thread Maha. :niceone:

[Pussy]

Good thread Maha. :niceone:

How's your leg? :whistle:

[Maha]

Our disabled son has just got a walker frame, what a god send but you have to be able to laugh at the problems it can create too! :nya:

He certainly does, he has a great sense of humour, thankfully! :killingme

PC dweebs are killing this country! (IMHO) :facepalm:

Good thread Maha. :niceone:

Some just get it John and just dont....my final two words at the end of the opening post says it all really...:yes:

[oldrider]

Bless em'.

Well, I am counting mine all the way to the big checkout counter in the sky, hope I can find the right card on that day! :Oops:

Don't want be the one asking: Anyone else notice how "HOT" it's getting? :thud:

[Swoop]

It's not "just" the "old fuckers"... unfortunately.
The average braincell that pushes a trolley has proven that it has the attention span of a flea. Dumb fuckers who block the aisle without thought for others need sending off to the concentration camps.:ar15:

[Goblin]

It's not "just" the "old fuckers"... unfortunately.
The average braincell that pushes a trolley has proven that it has the attention span of a flea. Dumb fuckers who block the aisle without thought for others need sending off to the concentration camps.:ar15:The stuck-up c#nts who block the aisle to chat about their coffee mornings give me Trolley rage!!:angry2:

[avgas]

Then he got into his car - and all 150hp of it drove through an intersection in a elderly blink of the eyes.
Because he can do it with his eyes closed he's been driving for 50 year! :facepalm:

[avgas]

The average braincell that pushes a trolley has proven that it has the attention span of a flea. Dumb fuckers who block the aisle without thought for others need sending off to the concentration camps.:ar15:
I wonder what they would think about?

[schrodingers cat]

I wonder what they would think about?

Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, Breathe out.

That's pretty much 85% of their brain activity occupied. 15% left for lotto and footy viewing

[Maha]

The stuck-up c#nts who block the aisle to chat about their coffee mornings give me Trolley rage!!:angry2:

Just add a packet of condoms to thier trolley Kelly, they wont know till they get to the check-out :corn:

[pritch]

I'm a pensioner - double dipping and loving it :whistle: - but I won't go near a supermarket on pension day. If you do, you'd really need to ask yourself if it's their fault or yours.

So when is pension day?

TODAY!!! :yes:

[ellipsis]

....I would hate to follow some of my fellow clubmembers round a supermarket....those in their septuagenerian stages....but I love to TRY and catch them on a track ...ang drink piss with them later...when they all seem young again...and I feel old...

[oldrider]

So when is pension day?

TODAY!!! :yes:

And tomorrow thankfully!

Someone wanted to have a look at my bike I'm selling.....can't remember where I parked it! :facepalm:

[avgas]

Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, Breathe out.

That's pretty much 85% of their brain activity occupied. 15% left for lotto and footy viewing
If thats the case - I think a concentration camp is a very bad idea. Put them in front of telly so they cant concentrate.
Who needs mustard gas when the fuckers don't remember how to breathe.

[avgas]

Just add a packet of condoms to thier trolley Kelly, they wont know till they get to the check-out :corn:
Nah prego tests are better......along with lube

[Banditbandit]

I have experienced the slowness of which you speak Mark and have to say that, incredibly slow as they may seem, when you change direction to step around them somehow they have already predicted this manoever and headed you off. Phenominal!


See .. we may be old ... but we have developed enough cunning to keep ahead of you young bucks :rofl:

[Banditbandit]

I'm a pensioner - double dipping and loving it :whistle: - but I won't go near a supermarket on pension day. If you do, you'd really need to ask yourself if it's their fault or yours.

So when is pension day?

TODAY!!! :yes:

Wasn't it yesterday ? What day is today ?

[Banditbandit]

I wonder what they would think about?

The same things KB members do ... Have you seen how sexy some of the young women shopping in supermarkets are ? Who goes to buy stuff - go to drool.