Time for a laugh. Not. Or possibly.

[James Deuce]

A couple of weeks after my accident I largely lost the ability to read and write. I had a great deal of time on my hands as I couldn't sleep due to 10 broken ribs. I couldn't lie down, I couldn't sit up straight, I couldn't think through the cotton wool in my head and the three types of morphine I was on.

But I borrowed my 6 year old son's reading books and taught my self what the squiggles on the page meant. There is no one to help you with that stuff. It's difficult and expensive and most "health professionals" think you're taking the piss.

I like writing. Other than oxygen and carbon dioxide processing my main reason for being is reading. Gone. Thanks to another senseless fucking motorcycle accident. Which truth be told didn't need to happen. It only happened because I went for a ride to get the kays up because I booked the first service for Wednesday. Not a compelling reason really.

I hated bikes. I hated all of you. I hated the sight and sound of myself, I hated having to slowly and meticulously piece what feels like a pointless life back together.

Anyway, I got to the point in August where writing 300 words took less than a week. Soundgarden (http://cerebralbutterfly.blogspot.com/2010/08/soundgarden-returns-book-of-grunge.html) produced a new-old single and BANG, all the lights went on all at once.

I've had a bit of a whine (http://cerebralbutterfly.blogspot.com/2010/10/people-break.html) this evening too.

I still have to carefully proof read things because what I type sometimes just doesn't match what I thought I'd typed. Makes work frigging difficult too.

But I still write, I still go to work. I've played solo gigs, just me and my drums, an iPod with tracks minus drum and a music stand. So fucking there.

I'm sorry Big Dave. I had to fight my way back, and I couldn't tell you how or why.

I'm sorry KB folk. You don't suck, my attitude did.

I still can't ride a bike. I have a touch of Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo. It comes on at awkward times and I rather suspect that motorcycling's constantly changing vertical attitude would bring it on leaving me flailing about under a collapsed moto-velocipede at the lights.

My kids were wrecks. My wife loathes bikes, and doesn't care much for the conditional nature of relationships and respect amongst the motorcycling "community".

But some of you have helped Hitcher, so I'm prepared to give you a second chance.

[gunnyrob]

Hiya Jim, Good to hear you are on the mend. It's a pretty hard thing to come back from, and I take it that venting is part of the healing process.

I must say that the amount of Kays I've been racking up on the Beemer have gone down a bit since Ramon has come to live with me, but life is good up here in Aucks. I've been roped into helping out as a parent leader at Jamboree, so if you need a laugh, just picture a grumpy old flight sergeant with Boys Brigade experience doing a mud run with 5000 screaming scouts over the new year.

I'm also going to be the escort rider for the lead half marathon male in the Auckland Marathon on the 31st. Keep an eye on the news next Sunday, hopefully you'll see me doing a 26km slow race. Take care, love to you, Heather & Kids. Rob

[Paul in NZ]

OH FFS you big bonce - you dont hate people, you and Heather are too nice for that. You just overthink things Jim.... Lifes simple and it needs simple motorcycles to help understand it. Do the maths Jim (assuming you also read the boys kindy maths books), how many people on this forum have gotten hurt falling off pushrod motorcycles vs those with overhead camshafts? Its obvious and no I didn't need Vicki to explain that to me I thunk it all up myself without resorting to outside resources like the kids books....

Good to see you firing again Jim

[YellowDog]

Sounds really tough. Many have never been or will ever be to your previous standard and expectations.

Not all would suffer such an impact as much as you have.

Well done for pulling through.

[Trudes]

Jim, it's always good to read the thoughts you've written and it's always good to see you posting here and there. And no matter what happens and how shit you feel sometimes, you have friends who understand and like you for the awesome person you are. :hug:
Was that too fluffy for you? Ok, HTFU!!! ;):laugh:

[Nasty]

Thing is you don't realise that part of the precious part of life is having you there jim!

[Pussy]

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You little ray of sunshine, you!! :)

[Okey Dokey]

I wish I could send you a bling (got to spread around etc etc), but I wanted to say that your posts are one of the things that first attracted me to joining kb. Although I only know you in cyberspace, I value your words (and poetry when the spirit moves you)

I'm so glad you have been able to fight back from your injuries, and thanks for sharing what is on your mind.

[AllanB]

Bastard - and there I was thinking the whole world loved me - and why not, I'm a very nice person! :woohoo:

Understandable feelings there James and I'd imagine MrsB would be feeling similar to the two wheeled obsession that in my life.

I've also noticed that despite the problems you are having writing - you still do it better than me! Bastard.

IMHO it is time you considered a trike ......:facepalm:

[tri boy]

Your wrong Jim, KB does suck.
But your back:woohoo:

[Big Dave]

I want my money back. That's $0.00 you owe me. Plus interest - that comes to $0.00. Prick.

[Big Dave]

OK - The only thing I ever had was concern fo yo health. Good to hear you are mending.

[yungatart]

I've missed you.
I'm glad you're back.

I'm also glad that Hitcher is still around, I know how fragile life can be, I nursed my daughter through the same thing. You know what? She is as perfect as she ever was, and I am very blessed indeed.

[merv]

Mate we never gave up on you. I made sure I said hi every time I saw you in town and it is good you are back on here. Facebook has to have some competition. Keep on healing.

As for me I'd been rather busy lately but started finding a bit of time to get bike WOFs and took another one in Friday, but fricken heck the weekend comes around and I came down with a bloody lurg late on Friday night so haven't been going anywhere to speak of. Are we jinxed or something?? Mind you the nice weather for the weekend has evaporated in the Wellington area (again).

[Edbear]

I've missed you.
I'm glad you're back.

I'm also glad that Hitcher is still around, I know how fragile life can be, I nursed my daughter through the same thing. You know what? She is as perfect as she ever was, and I am very blessed indeed.

I've obviously missed a few things since my accident. What happened to Hitcher?

Good post JD! I can sympathise in my current state.

[MSTRS]

Love and hate are always part of the same coin. Y/Our reason/s for loving motorcycling are always mixed up with hating it as well. Only one's current circumstances dictate which feeling is in ascendancy.
Maybe you will never ride again, maybe you will. Only you and time can tell. Yet hating motorcycles is only a way of dealing with the loss of loving them.
I'm sure you will find that nothing has changed where bikes are concerned, otherwise we'd all stop doing it too.
And in the meantime, we just love having you back.
:woohoo:

[Ocean1]

I borrowed my 6 year old son's reading books and taught my self what the squiggles on the page meant.

Don’t be giving yourself air and graces dude, you were never any better than intermediate on a good day anyway.

I do owe you one thing: that was very nearly my bike / dream / sheep.

We've got one other thing in common. 'Er indoors started life as an ED nurse. Saw just that side of bikes and hated them with a passion. Trials only for me, and that badly.

It's taken near 30 years but I'm happy to report progress. Spyder to Scorpio to 650 Ninja... There's surely a few summers left, eh?

[ynot slow]

Just think of an injury as similar to an engine rebuild,gotta ease it in till you give it shit.

We are not imortal,just that we want to feel it.

Recovery can take time,my ribs tickle every now and then,and they were only spread not broken,can imagine your pain.

[davebullet]

I've missed your intelligent prose, reviews and otherwise putting people like me in their place.

[vifferman]

Your wrong Jim, KB does suck.
But your back:woohoo:
Plus 1 on both counts for me too. :yes:
Perhaps if you're now back (are you? Or is this just an interludery posting sorta masquerading as an aplogoy of sorts?), KB won't suck so much. From your blog, James, it sounds like your mojo has returned, and you still have pithy and interesting things to say. While I've mostly got my bikering mojo back after a forced absence of nearly 3 munce, my other mojos (if I ever had them) are gorn. So I need you, you inspiring person. Don't go away again, mkay? Oh - and keep healing well too. :niceone:

[Brian d marge]

Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo

wasnt that a Hitchcock movie ?

Acc wont pay for that , you want one of them new ones on those DVD things

Stephen

[Crasherfromwayback]

I still can't ride a bike. I have a touch of Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo. It comes on at awkward times and I rather suspect that motorcycling's constantly changing vertical attitude would bring it on leaving me flailing about under a collapsed moto-velocipede at the lights.

.

Fuck off ya big poof. Come in and see me, we've got a nice shiney new Busa demo turning up, I'll put you on the back of it like my lil biker bitch, and scare that fucking Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo right out of your ass.

How's that sound?

Ps: Nice to see you back here.

[DarkLord]

Can't say I know you or that I've heard about your accident but it was very refreshing to see a post on this site that actually had some real thought put into it as opposed to some of the drivel I read on here.

I enjoyed your blog as well. I can only imagine what it must be like to be in your position. You have obviously suffered tremendously through this yet have come out stronger. I love reading and writing and I cannot imagine what I would do without either of those abilities. Hang in there and get better soon.

[Crisis management]

Good to hear your dulcet whining tones Jim!

Glad you are getting better and your sense of humour has survived but will you wellingtonians please stop hurling yourselves off bikes, it's bad for my mental state.

[Swoop]

Jim. It sounds like you and your family have been to hell and back.
Your absence was noted, but presumed you were giving KB a wide berth or working on the NZ. Obviously I was wrong on both counts.
Your posts' and wisdom are always a good read. I am truly glad you are on a road to recovery.

[Mom]

I've had a bit of a whine (http://cerebralbutterfly.blogspot.com/2010/10/people-break.html) this evening too.

Nothing wrong with a bit of wine of an evening J2, infact my day is not really complete till I have had one :D

Nice post btw, try not to go too soft on us though ok?

Just think of yourself like oxalis - almost impossible to kill off :love:

[MsKABC]

Good work sir, on both the post and the blog.

[Paul in NZ]

Fuck off ya big poof. Come in and see me, we've got a nice shiney new Busa demo turning up, I'll put you on the back of it like my lil biker bitch, and scare that fucking Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo right out of your ass.

How's that sound?

Ps: Nice to see you back here.

Far out - for a minute there I thought you were going to try and sell him a nice one owner Z750....

[Crasherfromwayback]

Far out - for a minute there I thought you were going to try and sell him a nice one owner Z750....

Oi...don't blow my cover mate!

[bistard]

Far out - for a minute there I thought you were going to try and sell him a nice one owner Z750....

Nah, that was going to be me!!
Bloody good to see you back Jim,great write up & now explains alot
Barry

[SPman]

..
But your back:woohoo:

what about his back........?

[White trash]

Fuck off ya big poof. Come in and see me, we've got a nice shiney new Busa demo turning up, I'll put you on the back of it like my lil biker bitch, and scare that fucking Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo right out of your ass.

How's that sound?

Ps: Nice to see you back here.

You couldn't scare a 4 year old girl with that thing ya homo.

[Crasherfromwayback]

You couldn't scare a 4 year old girl with that thing ya homo.

Why not...I scare shit out of myself every time I ride one!

[Paul in NZ]

Why not...I scare shit out of myself every time I ride one!

yeah - I've seen you ride, it scares me as well....

[MIXONE]

I thought that love/hate thing only happened when you owned a ducati.:love::angry:
Welcome back J2.

[Madness]

I can't be arsed with reading, I'd much rather look at pictures. Even as a kid I had an aversion to reading books and from memory I think the only book I ever read from start to finish was The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole.

I can also fully understand the hating of all things motorcycle-related under your circumstances. I ordered some fancy parts a while ago and last week was like a child on Christmas Day when they finally arrived. It turned out that the incorrect parts had been sent from far away and I was left feeling so disappointed I ignored the bike in the gargre all looong weekend, kind of punishing it for disappointing me so.

Jim, like it or not, you are a fairly significant part of this "biker community" and will remain so even if you choose to leave us permanently. Mikey & Winja have been long gone but are still part of the rich tapestry that is KB (IMHO, of course). On top of that, you're a good coont and I hope you decide to hang around.

[scumdog]

Welcome back to the fantasy world of KB Mr Duece!!

And keep that attitude! (Whatever it happens to be)

[Pussy]

Welcome back to the fantasy world of KB Mr Duece!!

And keep that attitude! (Whatever it happens to be)

For Christ's sake, don't encourage him!!