Cemeteries and funeral directors struggling

[PrincessBandit]

.....with oversized bodies, that is.

First of all it was the airlines creating an almighty stink over that fact that as peoples' arses have expanded exponentially there is a high demand for extra-generous width seats, now funeral directors are finding the same problem.

I never knew that there were "standard" and "oversized" hole arrangements (pardon the less-than-correct terminology there) - oh hang on, make it casket arrangements. S'pose I always figured that regardless of body size what you "went in" was standard! :shit: Never gave it any thought.

Now there is talk that the oversized caskets (and holes to plant them in) are creating problems in cemeteries with the wall of earth between 'em getting thinner and thinner.

I've played (musician) at many funerals in my time and never seen any caskets which look particularly huge, so I've always been under the impression that people somehow shrink once they've departed.

Despite being comparatively small in stature (and so unlikely to contribute to the oversized plot stats) I think i'll still stick with going up in flames and counting on my loving family to scatter me somewhere meaningful.

That way I can cover heaps of ground without taking up the space!

[Toaster]

Big problem huh....

[Stirts]

Never thought I would hear anyone complain about a big stiffy. :dodge:

[Toaster]

I'd be happy with the bike being revved up on a cliff top and using the exhaust blast to blow the ashes out to sea.

Or being used as cat litter.

[SPman]

so I've always been under the impression that people somehow shrink once they've departed. It is possible to cram a large corpse into a coffin, but only by so much, short of dismembering them. We had to build a special coffin for a 28 stone lad down Te Kuiti way...he wasn't dead at the time, but the local undertaker was making provision........got a photo somewhere of 2 of us standing in the box - making sure the (twin skinned) base wouldn't fall out........

[Pussy]

Despite being comparatively small in stature (and so unlikely to contribute to the oversized plot stats) I think i'll still stick with going up in flames and counting on my loving family to scatter me somewhere meaningful.

That way I can cover heaps of ground without taking up the space!

Party pooper!
We had full intentions of burying you with just your bum showing.... so you could be used as a bicycle rack

[davebullet]

I say burn them, burn them all!

No, really. I mean cremate them. Surely a cremated fatty takes up about as much room as a cremated skinny. You could truly tell weighing the ashes whether someone was honestly "big boned" or just carrying a bit too much lard.

[Grumph]

Strangely enough both the Funeral directors I know are over 6ft 6in...
I suspect they're in the trade to get a discount...

The narrow separation between graves can be a problem - but not as much as one we did in Lyttelton years back. Very wet - when the casket was lowered/launched into the hole we all held our breath waiting to see if the whole graveside surround was going to take off down the hill....luckily it didn't but the whole party was sloshed anyway so it would have been taken in stride.

[davebullet]

Unfortunately in these tough times, It's a dead end job.

If I'd ever become a funeral director, the name of my business would definitely be "Busy Bodies".

[zeocen]

I say burn them, burn them all!

No, really. I mean cremate them. Surely a cremated fatty takes up about as much room as a cremated skinny. You could truly tell weighing the ashes whether someone was honestly "big boned" or just carrying a bit too much lard.

I remember watching a Jamie Oliver thing about the fattest state in America, he wanted to show a local radio DJ the seriousness of the obesity problem.

He took him to a funeral home and showed him what is now the norm for his town, "double" coffins, they looked like freaking beds! They were huge. But he also said, why can't they just cremate them. They said they're physically too big for the cremation and the amount of fat could make a wicked explosion.

Sign of the times, it seems :/

[oldrider]

Never thought I would hear anyone complain about a big stiffy. :dodge:

That's my kind of girl, priorities always firmly fixed in the gutter! :love: :lol:

[XxKiTtiExX]

They won't bury or cremate minus a casket (its law) so there is still the issue of making caskets big enough (a friend of mine had to get one made especially for her father as he was on the larger side).

I understand personal beliefs and all that but I don't understand why people would want to be buried squished side by side or on top of each other (yes they do that). I'm all for cremation.

[davebullet]

I remember watching a Jamie Oliver thing about the fattest state in America, he wanted to show a local radio DJ the seriousness of the obesity problem.

He took him to a funeral home and showed him what is now the norm for his town, "double" coffins, they looked like freaking beds! They were huge. But he also said, why can't they just cremate them. They said they're physically too big for the cremation and the amount of fat could make a wicked explosion.

Sign of the times, it seems :/

A bandsaw running lengthways would solve that problem. Would double the cremation costs though (twice through the burner)