EQ jokes

[SPman]

A mate of mine works at the Grand Chancellor in Christchurch. He reckons they're gonna be flat out.

Was supposed to go to C'church for a holiday but my accomodation's fallen through.

[Virago]

I guess someone had to kick off the "too soon" schoolboy chortling.

Those of us who sit in anguish awaiting news of missing people, can no doubt gain some comfort from the knowledge that their on-going suffering is the source of puerile amusement for others.

[SPman]

Interesting responses, and the bling!!!! - so - it looks like the great english "dark humour in the face of adversity" has gone from most of the population - and they were only mild jokes - I have much worse - 2 from a person who did lose someone in Chch.......

What a dour lot most of the population are becoming....

[trailblazer]

maybe the people of christchurch need a bit of humour I know it always makes me feel better evan when i have lost someone close to me. well that and beer that always makes you feel better.

[NighthawkNZ]

I have much worse - 2 from a person who did lose someone in Chch.......

It's worse not knowing if you have lost a friend or loved one... do you grieve, do hold on to hope that they are okay waiting for rescue... or loose hope and the slow grieve kicks in which is like a slow death in a way...

Trrust me its not nice not knowing... whilst condolences to your friends for their loss, but at least they now know and can can now start their grieving process...

There are many here waiting to hear from friends and family... including me...

[Mom]

A mate of mine works at the Grand Chancellor in Christchurch. He reckons they're gonna be flat out.

Was supposed to go to C'church for a holiday but my accomodation's fallen through.

:smile: Ordinarily I laugh at this sort of thing. I am far removed from the devastation, and so far so good all my nearests and dearests are ok, just maybe a little too close to the bone John. Dont take it personally.


I guess someone had to kick off the "too soon" schoolboy chortling.

Those of us who sit in anguish awaiting news of missing people, can no doubt gain some comfort from the knowledge that their on-going suffering is the source of puerile amusement for others.

*HUGS* Yeah, it is a killer for sure. I am a lucky one, so far so good for me. My heart is bleeding for anyone affected by this.

[Spuds1234]

A mate of mine works at the Grand Chancellor in Christchurch. He reckons they're gonna be flat out.

Was supposed to go to C'church for a holiday but my accomodation's fallen through.

I laughed.

There was one floating around about how we now need to take the church part of Christchurch seeing as most of the churches fell down in the center of town.

[SPman]

I reckon all this is pretty shaky ground, anyway.

[Spuds1234]

I reckon all this is pretty shaky ground, anyway.

Careful you dont rock things to much with that bad pun.

[Virago]

Interesting responses, and the bling!!!! - so - it looks like the great english "dark humour in the face of adversity" has gone from most of the population - and they were only mild jokes - I have much worse - 2 from a person who did lose someone in Chch.......

What a dour lot most of the population are becoming....

"Dark humour in the face of adversity" is for those who are facing it.

Perhaps you could travel to Christchurch and cheer up those who stand in vigil at the cordons with your jokes. No? Of course not, you probably prefer your nose unbroken...

But the safety and anonymity of the internet makes it different, eh?

Dour? Maybe. But I'd rather be dour than a cunt.

As it happens, I've now heard from the last of our missing relatives, and can start relaxing. But many others can't...

[ynot slow]

Yep the jokes are good usually we take the piss of world events and turn into jokes asap,but a bit differet when in our land,and that maybe ruffles the feathers.

I had a cousn who was talking to her mum at a cafe before the quake,whilst still on the phone my auntie said she heard background screams and the phone went dead as the rumble started,auntie and uncle had a long 28hours before her daughter could contact them,with cuts and bruises and a newly renovated home damaged.

[cowpoos]

A mate of mine works at the Grand Chancellor in Christchurch. He reckons they're gonna be flat out.

Was supposed to go to C'church for a holiday but my accomodation's fallen through.

On a serious note:

Bob Parker rang up Nga Tahu tribe and said 'yeah....we want our muskets and blankets back....your lands faulty!'

[MIXONE]

I laughed.

There was one floating around about how we now need to take the church part of Christchurch seeing as most of the churches fell down in the center of town.

Probably the first part of the name was quite a common word on Tuesday as well.

[phill-k]

"Dark humour in the face of adversity" is for those who are facing it.

Perhaps you could travel to Christchurch and cheer up those who stand in vigil at the cordons with your jokes. No? Of course not, you probably prefer your nose unbroken...

But the safety and anonymity of the internet makes it different, eh?

Dour? Maybe. But I'd rather be dour than a cunt.

As it happens, I've now heard from the last of our missing relatives, and can start relaxing. But many others can't...

This thread was posted in jokes and humour and titled EQ jokes, if you are that precious, do a little bit of self censoring and don't read a thread such as this.

A little humour for many right now is a good thing and I'm sure at the many BBQ and EQ imposed get together's there will be many instant comedians good thing as well.

Virago shame you had to search my profile to red rep me for a spelling mistake in another totally irrelevant post here is one you can really have a go at ya tosser

[Winston001]

Relax people. Its a bit early for earthquake jokes but if some want to go ahead, well that just illustrates we all have different thresholds. My wife is at the centre of things organising relief and rescue so myself and the children are a bit anxious.

However I'm not offended and in a couple of weeks will probably laugh.

[Spuds1234]

Its always a bit early for some people.

As it is Im not offended and currently Im living under a curfew inside cordon.

Im closer to this shit than anyone. I know people that have lost family and friends, everyone's just trying to stay positive at the moment. Some people do it with black humor, some people are probably drinking way to much. Everyone is dealing with it their own way though.

[Maha]

This thread was posted in jokes and humour and titled EQ jokes, if you are that precious, do a little bit of self censoring and don't read a thread such as this.

A little humour for many right now is a good thing and I'm sure at the many BBQ and EQ imposed get together's there will be many instant comedians good thing as well.

Virago shame you had to search my profile to red rep me for a spelling mistake in another totally irrelevant post here is one you can really have a go at ya tosser

Making a joke about your wifes broken the other week didn't go down to well did it?
Is there any real difference?

[SPman]

Careful you dont rock things to much with that bad pun.Is there any other kind......

[phill-k]

Making a joke about your wifes broken the other week didn't go down to well did it?
Is there any real difference?

Quite a bit of difference but can't expect everyone to understand that, but as this is a post under jokes and humour, the title very much says it all and the jokes were not aimed at anyone personally, just general good humour unlike the very directly pointed comments about my wife's miss fortune, but then again if that appeals to you good on you for finding a laugh about it. Next time I'll remember to post such things in jokes and humour so that you don;t need to make it a personal attack.

[schrodingers cat]

The biggest problem the country faces is going to be brand recognition.

After all the rebuliding it will be necessary to change the country's name to Newer Zealand.

After 200 years of marketing, Americans don't have a clue where we are. The new(er) name will screw them royally

[KiWiP]

change the country's name to Newer Zealand.


Or with all those broken pipes 'Sewer Zealand' Oops probably shouldn't have said that. It'll surely cause a stink!

[Maha]

Quite a bit of difference but can't expect everyone to understand that, but as this is a post under jokes and humour, the title very much says it all and the jokes were not aimed at anyone personally, just general good humour unlike the very directly pointed comments about my wife's miss fortune, but then again if that appeals to you good on you for finding a laugh about it. Next time I'll remember to post such things in jokes and humour so that you don;t need to make it a personal attack.

No it was you and someone else not me.
Go and check the thread. It was called double standards I think?
I did make one post in it, but it was mainly you and someone else, cant remember who.

[Virago]

This thread was posted in jokes and humour and titled EQ jokes, if you are that precious, do a little bit of self censoring and don't read a thread such as this.

A little humour for many right now is a good thing and I'm sure at the many BBQ and EQ imposed get together's there will be many instant comedians good thing as well.

Virago shame you had to search my profile to red rep me for a spelling mistake in another totally irrelevant post here is one you can really have a go at ya tosser

I love it when a lecture about good humour dissolves into rage...:lol:

[phill-k]

No it was you and someone else not me.
Go and check the thread. It was called double standerds I think?
I did made one post in it, but it was mainly you and someone else, cant remember who.

Yea well your post makes no sense to me so what is your point?

[phill-k]

I love it when a lecture about good humour dissolves into rage...:lol:

Likewise can't understand your post either, is their humour hidden here or something?

[Maha]

Yea well your post makes no sense to me so what is your point?

My point is, you seem to think its quite ok to joke about the horrific events that occured in Christchurch this week, but when someone made a joke about your wifes car broken window, you deemed that no joke at all...thats double standards Phil.

[phill-k]

My point is, you seem to think its quite ok to joke about the horrific events that occured in Christchurch this week, but when someone made a joke about your wifes car broken window, you deemed that no joke at all...thats double standards Phil.

sorry but wanton vandalism to and individuals property is not funny, and I did not post about that in jokes and humour, likewise many aspects of CHCH's disaster are not funny but the generic jokes that were headed by a title of EQ jokes and posted in jokes and humour were funny and were not directed at anyone personally.

However we are all entitled to find individual things as humorous, and yes my family has been effected personally by this but I find humour very therapeutic, however I would not post a personal humorous comment anywhere, generic is fine.

[Maha]

No straws to clutch onto here...move along please.

[Yow Ling]

Dour? Maybe. But I'd rather be dour than a cunt.

...

Looks like you are doing a pretty good job of both !

[Smifffy]

On a serious note:

Bob Parker rang up Nga Tahu tribe and said 'yeah....we want our muskets and blankets back....your lands faulty!'

Pick of the bunch so far. Particularly with that pun on 'faulty'

Even though I think it is still a bit soon, this had me tittering up my sleeve.

[SPman]

Of course not, you probably prefer your nose unbroken...That's about all that is unbroken at the moment after refusing to give in to a bullying road nazi - if they find him he'll get 2 year,s but we were cracking bad jokes at the police station at 2 in the morning making a statement!
And yes, I would make jokes at the cordon line. But

I would not post a personal humorous comment anywhere, generic is fine
Wot he said!

unless it was nactional party related

[onearmedbandit]

I lived this, I'm only just outside the cordon, I've made a few jokes about my own situation, then quickly realised that fellow cantabrians died in this, and that by sheer chance I wasn't one of them. Kind of takes the humour out of the situation, doesn't it.

[tigertim20]

This thread was posted in jokes and humour and titled EQ jokes, if you are that precious, do a little bit of self censoring and don't read a thread such as this.

A little humour for many right now is a good thing and I'm sure at the many BBQ and EQ imposed get together's there will be many instant comedians good thing as well.

Virago shame you had to search my profile to red rep me for a spelling mistake in another totally irrelevant post here is one you can really have a go at ya tosser

He is a moderator, it is his job to peruse the forums to try and prevent this site from spiralling downward inot an even more vile form of pathetic crap...

Im all for jokes, I think humour is a way of healing, kiwis have always been able to alugh at themselves, and Ive heard and made a joke or two myself about the quake, BUT,
There isnt really a need to be throwing jokes about it so recklessly over the internet so soon. in a few months sure, but fuck its been less than a week.
A massive contingent of my family are from chch, many I still cant find or contact. Untill such time as things have calmed down, I think jokes about this should be kept to your living room, and off the internet.

At least wait untill the last tearfull family have uncovered their son/daughter/father/mothers/cousins body from the fucking rubble?

[phill-k]

He is a moderator, it is his job to peruse the forums to try and prevent this site from spiralling downward inot an even more vile form of pathetic crap...

Im all for jokes, I think humour is a way of healing, kiwis have always been able to alugh at themselves, and Ive heard and made a joke or two myself about the quake, BUT,
There isnt really a need to be throwing jokes about it so recklessly over the internet so soon. in a few months sure, but fuck its been less than a week.
A massive contingent of my family are from chch, many I still cant find or contact. Untill such time as things have calmed down, I think jokes about this should be kept to your living room, and off the internet.

At least wait untill the last tearfull family have uncovered their son/daughter/father/mothers/cousins body from the fucking rubble?

Dry ya fucken eyes princess I don't give a fuck whether its a moderator or not the thread was clearly labelled EQ jokes and was posted in Jokes and humour, I suppose your the sort of person that looks at spankme's lovely photos and then complains about nudity, my message if you don't want to be offended don't open the fucken thread princess.

[Virago]

Dry ya fucken eyes princess I don't give a fuck whether its a moderator or not the thread was clearly labelled EQ jokes and was posted in Jokes and humour, I suppose your the sort of person that looks at spankme's lovely photos and then complains about nudity, my message if you don't want to be offended don't open the fucken thread princess.

Still no sign of your good humour, then? :rolleyes:

[phill-k]

Still no sign of your good humour, then? :rolleyes:

Actually I've heard few about the EQ but they are such that if I read them here I'd be ok with them but at this stage I'm such about the topic of these particular jokes that I would not publish them myself. however the ones I've read here so far are far from offensive.

[NighthawkNZ]

Its not whether they are offesive or not... doesn't matter whether its in a thread maked eq jokes or not or that you did the right thing and put in the jokes section or not... its a matter of timing... and any good comedian will tell you the same thing... your timing is way off the mark...

They are still pulling peoples loved ones from rubble... and the death toll still rising...

It's a matter of timing as every one said couple of months down the track maybe...


Dry ya fucken eyes princess I don't give a fuck whether its a moderator or not the thread was clearly labelled EQ jokes and was posted in Jokes and humour, I suppose your the sort of person that looks at spankme's lovely photos and then complains about nudity, my message if you don't want to be offended don't open the fucken thread princess.

You obviously didn't read his post and only saw what you wanted to see... a member still waiting to hear from family and friends doesn't know whether to greve or hold on to hope... poor timing

[fuknKIWI]

Interesting responses, and the bling!!!! - so - it looks like the great english "dark humour in the face of adversity" has gone from most of the population - and they were only mild jokes - I have much worse - 2 from a person who did lose someone in Chch.......

What a dour lot most of the population are becoming....
Well said that man.
Laughter no matter how you get it is GOOD for you
Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke & as I've said before the good thing about the high moral ground is that on clear day you can see right up your own arse.

[phill-k]

Its not whether they are offesive or not... doesn't matter whether its in a thread maked eq jokes or not or that you did the right thing and put in the jokes section or not... its a matter of timing... and any good comedian will tell you the same thing... your timing is way off the mark...

They are still pulling peoples loved ones from rubble... and the death toll still rising...

It's a matter of timing as every one said couple of months down the track maybe...

Fuck we are all full of PC bullshit round here, I am NOT actually the author of all these funny wisecracks, if you are feeling a little sensitive about the EQ don't fucken open a thread labelled EQ jokes you fucken muppet:rolleyes:

[fuknKIWI]

A mate of mine works at the Grand Chancellor in Christchurch. He reckons they're gonna be flat out.

Was supposed to go to C'church for a holiday but my accomodation's fallen through.
Hmmmmmmm just checked the timing of this post...PDQ...still stand by my previous post...agree to disagree if you will... it doesn't change the compassion I (we) feel for the bereaved...I know some suicide jokes too & I'm qualified to tell 'em.

[phill-k]

As I'm in here enjoying the jokes I'm not going to bother responding to any more of the PC wankers round here exercise some personal responsibility and don't open clearly labelled threads that might offend ya muppets. No I'm not DB either

So on this thread don't bother quoting me but feel free to post some red stuff if you are that sensitive.:bleh:

[JMemonic]

some people are probably drinking way to much.

Not enough

[JMemonic]

Dry ya fucken eyes princess I don't give a fuck whether its a moderator or not the thread was clearly labelled EQ jokes and was posted in Jokes and humour, I suppose your the sort of person that looks at spankme's lovely photos and then complains about nudity, my message if you don't want to be offended don't open the fucken thread princess.

I came here looking for the humour then found this, how about I say fuck you, I lived through this, my wife was on a bus just behind those crushed, there are local KB'ers who still have missing family, they would enjoy a little humour at the moment not this useless drivel. Tim made a good point but some useless git pipes up with that crap, get under your rock you useless turd.

[tigertim20]

Dry ya fucken eyes princess I don't give a fuck whether its a moderator or not the thread was clearly labelled EQ jokes and was posted in Jokes and humour, I suppose your the sort of person that looks at spankme's lovely photos and then complains about nudity, my message if you don't want to be offended don't open the fucken thread princess.

how about people post up threads about your family with alot of personal details like where you work, what school ya kids go to, Im sure then youd see the need for mods to be looking though forums.

Clearly youre a big keyboard warrior with a one inch cock, tell you what sweety, Ill pay for a ticket for you to fly to christchurch, and drive you to the cordons myself and watch you tell jokes to people waiting to find out if their family is dead or not. Wanna take me up on the offer?

Unless you got the balls to stand at the cordons and say it, you have no place saying it on the forums. I bet others would even chip in for the ticket, shouldnt be too much, you wont be needing a return.

Come to my house and tell me jokes about the family I still cant find and we see how tough you are mr fearless im soo cool being an annonymous keyboard warrior.
Put up, or fuck off.

[JMemonic]

how about people post up threads about your family with alot of personal details like where you work, what school ya kids go to, Im sure then youd see the need for mods to be looking though forums.

Clearly youre a big keyboard warrior with a one inch cock, tell you what sweety, Ill pay for a ticket for you to fly to christchurch, and drive you to the cordons myself and watch you tell jokes to people waiting to find out if their family is dead or not. Wanna take me up on the offer?

Unless you got the balls to stand at the cordons and say it, you have no place saying it on the forums. I bet others would even chip in for the ticket, shouldnt be too much, you wont be needing a return.

Come to my house and tell me jokes about the family I still cant find and we see how tough you are mr fearless im soo cool being an annonymous keyboard warrior.
Put up, or fuck off.

I will help with that ticket.

[phill-k]

fuck you guys are funny

[fuknKIWI]

I will help with that ticket.
While you throwing tickets around I'll have one, I guess a ticket into CHCH is a lot cheaper than one out of CHCH.

[yod]

how about people post up threads about your family with alot of personal details like where you work, what school ya kids go to, Im sure then youd see the need for mods to be looking though forums.

Clearly youre a big keyboard warrior with a one inch cock, tell you what sweety, Ill pay for a ticket for you to fly to christchurch, and drive you to the cordons myself and watch you tell jokes to people waiting to find out if their family is dead or not. Wanna take me up on the offer?

Unless you got the balls to stand at the cordons and say it, you have no place saying it on the forums. I bet others would even chip in for the ticket, shouldnt be too much, you wont be needing a return.

Come to my house and tell me jokes about the family I still cant find and we see how tough you are mr fearless im soo cool being an annonymous keyboard warrior.
Put up, or fuck off.

amen......

[Maha]

I came here looking for the humour then found this, how about I say fuck you, I lived through this, my wife was on a bus just behind those crushed, there are local KB'ers who still have missing family, they would enjoy a little humour at the moment not this useless drivel. Tim made a good point but some useless git pipes up with that crap, get under your rock you useless turd.


how about people post up threads about your family with alot of personal details like where you work, what school ya kids go to, Im sure then youd see the need for mods to be looking though forums.

Clearly youre a big keyboard warrior with a one inch cock, tell you what sweety, Ill pay for a ticket for you to fly to christchurch, and drive you to the cordons myself and watch you tell jokes to people waiting to find out if their family is dead or not. Wanna take me up on the offer?

Unless you got the balls to stand at the cordons and say it, you have no place saying it on the forums. I bet others would even chip in for the ticket, shouldnt be too much, you wont be needing a return.

Come to my house and tell me jokes about the family I still cant find and we see how tough you are mr fearless im soo cool being an annonymous keyboard warrior.
Put up, or fuck off.

You guys want a laugh?
Check the link below, it should have been posted in J/H but it ended up in its rightful place...:eek:
Notice how he gets all anti when the jokes are pointed his way.
Compliments of Philk....enjoy.

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/134815-Incredibly-good-fun

[JMemonic]

While you throwing tickets around I'll have one, I guess a ticket into CHCH is a lot cheaper than one out of CHCH.

Air NZ have been selling tickets out for $50 and in for normal prices so I guess all the other cities need Cantabs to help with their numbers :bleh::msn-wink:

[Winston001]

Dry ya fucken eyes princess I don't give a fuck whether its a moderator or not the thread was clearly labelled EQ jokes and was posted in Jokes and humour, I suppose your the sort of person that looks at spankme's lovely photos and then complains about nudity, my message if you don't want to be offended don't open the fucken thread princess.


Your over-reaction reveals much about you. Insecure, hidden guilt, uneasy conscience, probably a loner, good at anglo-saxon expletives but generally unable to express yourself fluently, highly defensive, likely to be loud after a few beers, front being a real man but in reality unsure of yourself.

[Smifffy]

Your over-reaction reveals much about you. Insecure, hidden guilt, uneasy conscience, probably a loner, good at anglo-saxon expletives but generally unable to express yourself fluently, highly defensive, likely to be loud after a few beers, front being a real man but in reality unsure of yourself.

Why! I oughta...

Oh you weren't talking about me....

Gotta love that Forer effect eh?

[AllanB]

Too early.

Nothing else to say - on my third wine of the evening as I have been each evening since Tuesday. Now that makes things a bit better. It did occur to us last night when we had neighbours over (who have similar damage to their home) and we were all sinking a few that we should possibly take turns drinking in case we need to flee in the middle of the night!

[fuknKIWI]

Too early.

Nothing else to say - on my third wine of the evening as I have been each evening since Tuesday. Now that makes things a bit better. It did occur to us last night when we had neighbours over (who have similar damage to their home) and we were all sinking a few that we should possibly take turns drinking in case we need to flee in the middle of the night!
Up there for thinking...

[\m/]

McDonalds are releasing a new burger; the McChristchurch, it comes with a free shake.

[jellywrestler]

At the moment it's like taking the piss out of a Dwarf with Downs syndrome.
It's not big and it's not clever.
At least wait till the dusts settled

[jellywrestler]

He is a moderator, it is his job to peruse the forums to try and prevent this site from spiralling downward inot an even more vile form of pathetic crap...

There isnt really a need to be throwing jokes about it so recklessly over the internet so soon. in a few months sure, but fuck its been less than a week.

if this is the case simply rename the thread EQ jokes september 4th earthquake then it's all cool isn't it?

[JMemonic]

McDonalds are releasing a new burger; the McChristchurch, it comes with a free shake.

See thats good I got a laugh.

[imdying]

I'd be more worried if there were no jokes about. It totalled a lot of our city, but I'd be more worried if it broke New Zealand as well, cause currently we're in big trouble without you.

[schrodingers cat]

Too early.

Nothing else to say - on my third wine of the evening as I have been each evening since Tuesday. Now that makes things a bit better. It did occur to us last night when we had neighbours over (who have similar damage to their home) and we were all sinking a few that we should possibly take turns drinking in case we need to flee in the middle of the night!

A really clever person would be drinking cask wine. That way if you have to flee you won't spill any and when you are finished you'll have a comfy pillow

Now THATS thinking

[KiWiP]

it's like taking the piss out of a Dwarf with Downs syndrome.
It's not big and it's not clever.


This is supposed to be funny isn't it? I hope so as I larfed :niceone:

One of the rescue dog handlers (by coincidence Gimli's stunt standin in the Lord of the Rings) had a dog called syndrome.

It kept jumping up as he was being interviewed.

He was a dwarf shouting "Down Syndrome"

Apologies to the hard of humour. :bleh:

[ajturbo]

Too early.

Nothing else to say - on my third wine of the evening as I have been each evening since Tuesday. Now that makes things a bit better. It did occur to us last night when we had neighbours over (who have similar damage to their home) and we were all sinking a few that we should possibly take turns drinking in case we need to flee in the middle of the night!

Take turns at drinking..!!?? wash ya mouth out...:bleh:

[Spuds1234]

Unashamably stole these from other parts of the net.


"You know you're from Christchurch when..."

You use the term "liquefaction" and "seismic design" in casual conversation.

Digging a hole and pooping in your garden is no longer weird.

Your mayor describes the city as munted. If he means FUBARed, you agree

Weaving through car size potholes on the street is no longer weird

Going to Wellington to escape earthquakes makes sense

A shower is heaven

You have a preference of which kind of silt you'd rather shovel, dry or wet

You see tanks driving around town

You are always noting what you are under

Due to frequent aftershocks during the night, you sleep like a baby--every 10 minutes you wake up and sh*t yourself

[Quasievil]

BAd BAd Taste, while people are still buried you find a way to make light of it.
Not cool, disrespectful and immature, time and place and this isnt it!

[neels]

Just saw this on another forum, apparently some people think it's ok to have a laugh, even if it is at their own misfortune.

http://www.trademe.co.nz/Browse/Listing.aspx?id=357989041&ed=true

[BoristheBiter]

BAd BAd Taste, while people are still buried you find a way to make light of it.
Not cool, disrespectful and immature, time and place and this isnt it!

Actually dickhead i red reped you for crying about a thread but still carry on reading and posting in it. if you don't like it stop reading it.

as for red back nowhere have i said i 1) agree with this thread 2) agree with joking about the quake and to take it to think i condone looting is taking it a bit far even for you.

And thanks for the red back on a completely different thread just to get your own back for someone giving you red in the first place, Not cool, disrespectful and immature. :finger:

[Buellluva]

Phil K sounds like a balanced individual...........loves firing shit at people not so good at taking it........just before the 2 mins silence less than one week since it happened, too soon and bad taste. Go and tell the jokes to families still waiting, rescuers still removing bodies, ambo's etc, I'm sure thay'll appreciate it

[Quasievil]

Actually dickhead i red reped you for crying about a thread but still carry on reading and posting in it. if you don't like it stop reading it.

as for red back nowhere have i said i 1) agree with this thread 2) agree with joking about the quake and to take it to think i condone looting is taking it a bit far even for you.

And thanks for the red back on a completely different thread just to get your own back for someone giving you red in the first place, Not cool, disrespectful and immature. :finger:

Actually fuck face I read the first post and I was appalled that this is even considered entertainment, and like anyone is entitled to, I made a comment, if you dont like it then thats your issue I can only assume you agree with this threads content by red repping me.
Best you go on contributing to the "looting" of decent society with the others on this thread who see the degradation of civil society as a priority.
I challenge anyone here to shout out these jokes in the streets of ChCh, tho you wont, cause youre likely spineless keyboard twats

[Bren]

unashamably stole these from other parts of the net.


"you know you're from christchurch when..."




get a fuckin life!

You were not here...you have no idea!

[Bren]

every time I feel an aftershock or even hear a truck go past I almost shit myself...it aint a laughing matter...!

And crapping in a bucket aint fun!

Friends have lost family...friends have lost houses, and livelihood

IT AINT A JOKE!

[BuzzardNZ]

Actually fuck face I read the first post and I was appalled that this is even considered entertainment, and like anyone is entitled to, I made a comment, if you dont like it then thats your issue I can only assume you agree with this threads content by red repping me.
Best you go on contributing to the "looting" of decent society with the others on this thread who see the degradation of civil society as a priority.
I challenge anyone here to shout out these jokes in the streets of ChCh, tho you wont, cause youre likely spineless keyboard twats

+1 I also think this thread was created way too early. Very bad taste and totally disrespectful.

[BoristheBiter]

Actually fuck face I read the first post and I was appalled that this is even considered entertainment, and like anyone is entitled to, I made a comment, if you dont like it then thats your issue I can only assume you agree with this threads content by red repping me.
Best you go on contributing to the "looting" of decent society with the others on this thread who see the degradation of civil society as a priority.
I challenge anyone here to shout out these jokes in the streets of ChCh, tho you wont, cause youre likely spineless keyboard twats

Spineless keyboard twats, you would know all about them as you would be if not one the most childish at least one of the biggest here.
If you don't like a thread don't read it and definitely don't come back and read some more but i guess the keyboard wanker in you was just too hard to overcome. Just wait to see how the mood of the thread is going and jump in.
And if someone reds you grow a pair and move on but no you still have the mental age of a five year old by trying to find some other post and red rep them back.

Fuck you make some drivel up. First its a joke, now it's the "looting of society".
Go and email the guy selling his rock and tell him what you think, bet i know what he'll tell you to do.

[Spuds1234]

get a fuckin life!

You were not here...you have no idea!

Actually I was there, I still am here, and Im living in town inside the cordon with no water.

I cant leave my house without wondering if I'll be able to get back to it, I have to carry photo ID (do anyway) AND a letter that has my name and address on it just to get back to my house, theres no guarentee that I'll be able to get my bike into my garage at night because some of the people on the cordon dont let vehicles through. Also this cordon could be up for months with this stupid bloody curfew (I have to be home before 6pm otherwise I cant get home).

We all know someone that has died or knows someone that knows someone. Nobody in Christchurch has been left untouched by this tragedy.

If the way I want to deal with this situation is by making light of it, poking fun at it, and heaven forbid actually try to still have a bit of fun then Im sure as hell going to do it.

[Crasherfromwayback]

If the way I want to deal with this situation is by making light of it, poking fun at it, and heaven forbid actually try to still have a bit of fun then Im sure as hell going to do it.

And there you have it in a nutshell. Each to their own I say.

[phill-k]

Actually I was there, I still am here, and Im living in town inside the cordon with no water.

I cant leave my house without wondering if I'll be able to get back to it, I have to carry photo ID (do anyway) AND a letter that has my name and address on it just to get back to my house, theres no guarentee that I'll be able to get my bike into my garage at night because some of the people on the cordon dont let vehicles through. Also this cordon could be up for months with this stupid bloody curfew (I have to be home before 6pm otherwise I cant get home).

We all know someone that has died or knows someone that knows someone. Nobody in Christchurch has been left untouched by this tragedy.

If the way I want to deal with this situation is by making light of it, poking fun at it, and heaven forbid actually try to still have a bit of fun then Im sure as hell going to do it.

THIS WOULD BE THE MOST RELEVENT POST IN ANY KB THREAD i HAVE EVER READ

I'm not going to enter this debate any more because the thread was about a little bit of light hearted humour, but NO ONE who has voice and opinion on here has greater right or authority than YOU - to you I offer my sincere commiserations but something I do know your attitude is what gets people through Kia Kaha - Be Strong

[Whynot]

Actually I was there, I still am here, and Im living in town inside the cordon with no water.

I cant leave my house without wondering if I'll be able to get back to it, I have to carry photo ID (do anyway) AND a letter that has my name and address on it just to get back to my house, theres no guarentee that I'll be able to get my bike into my garage at night because some of the people on the cordon dont let vehicles through. Also this cordon could be up for months with this stupid bloody curfew (I have to be home before 6pm otherwise I cant get home).

We all know someone that has died or knows someone that knows someone. Nobody in Christchurch has been left untouched by this tragedy.

If the way I want to deal with this situation is by making light of it, poking fun at it, and heaven forbid actually try to still have a bit of fun then Im sure as hell going to do it.

hopefully that should convince all the moaners to stfu

[oneofsix]

Actually I was there, I still am here, and Im living in town inside the cordon with no water.

I cant leave my house without wondering if I'll be able to get back to it, I have to carry photo ID (do anyway) AND a letter that has my name and address on it just to get back to my house, theres no guarentee that I'll be able to get my bike into my garage at night because some of the people on the cordon dont let vehicles through. Also this cordon could be up for months with this stupid bloody curfew (I have to be home before 6pm otherwise I cant get home).

We all know someone that has died or knows someone that knows someone. Nobody in Christchurch has been left untouched by this tragedy.

If the way I want to deal with this situation is by making light of it, poking fun at it, and heaven forbid actually try to still have a bit of fun then Im sure as hell going to do it.

well said that man. Humour is often a sign that we take things seriously.

[Quasievil]

Spineless keyboard twats, you would know all about them as you would be if not one the most childish at least one of the biggest here.
1/ that doesn't make sense
2/ you dont even know me


If you don't like a thread don't read it and definitely don't come back and read some more but i guess the keyboard wanker in you was just too hard to overcome. Just wait to see how the mood of the thread is going and jump in.

1/ that doesn't make sense
2/ I will do what I like on this public forum, and if anyone posts something I dont like I will say so, as does anyone else (as even you are doing yourself right now)


And if someone reds you grow a pair and move on

Weren't you crying like a bitch because I red repped you, so like you say "grow a pair"


Fuck you make some drivel up. First its a joke, now it's the "looting of society".
Go and email the guy selling his rock and tell him what you think, bet i know what he'll tell you to do.

It was never a Joke and it never will be, unless your afflicted with the "I dont give a shit and I will laugh at the situation attitude"
The Chap with a rock in his house, is living the situation, your not, you're gaggling from the outside with some of the other idiots on here like 16 year old school girls.

Frankly it Beggars belief that this thread was even posted, let alone morons try and defend it as merely humor, clearly we have a difference of opinion, so I will leave you to yours and you can leave me to mine.

[oneofsix]

clearly we have a difference of opinion, so I will leave you to yours and you can leave me to mine.

Please do:bye:

[fuknKIWI]

McDonalds are releasing a new burger; the McChristchurch, it comes with a free shake.

Yep had a guilt free laugh on that one.
Any release is a good release:rolleyes:

[fuknKIWI]

I'd be more worried if there were no jokes about. It totalled a lot of our city, but I'd be more worried if it broke New Zealand as well, cause currently we're in big trouble without you.

Shortly after my grandfather died I took his brother (2 ANZCACs),my great uncle to see the film Gallipoli. As he lost a leg there I dropped him off at the door & went to park the car anyway after the film I took him to my Grandmothers for a cuppa & a chat, it was very interesting sitting in on that one... the bottom line is the black humour in the film was pretty authentic but slightly understated... behold the therapeutic value of black humour...obviously it has a time & a place..many a joke at a funeral has been worth telling if only to put it all in perspective...life is for living & live it we must...you'll see me laugh before you see me cry...try to make me cry & see what happens if you don't succeed I'll laugh at you:bleh:

[Yow Ling]

You know you are in Christchurch when the Freedom campers are complaining about the locals shitting too close to their vans

[Crasherfromwayback]

You know you are in Christchurch when the Freedom campers are complaining about the locals shitting too close to their vans

That's a goodin!

[jellywrestler]

Looks like Japans 'flush' trumps Christchurch's 'fall house' this time eh?

[Skinon]

:NEWS FLASH:

Two plane loads of maori volunteers have just left Auckland for Christchurch to assist with the looting.

[Whynot]

Looks like Japans 'flush' trumps Christchurch's 'fall house' this time eh?


You know why the japanese tsunami went so far inland?
Water always picks up speed when it's running down slopes...

Recently opened a cafe in japan. Started a bit shaky, but slowly
people drifted in.

Jap farmers pleading poverty! Bullshit! I seen one farm on tv with
2 huge boats and about 20 cars on his front yard!


does anyone else find it interesting that there has been no backlash from the PC brigade against the japanese jokes compared to the christchurch ones?

[Usarka]

does anyone else find it interesting that there has been no backlash from the PC brigade against the japanese jokes compared to the christchurch ones?

They just walk away!

[ajturbo]

:NEWS FLASH:

Two plane loads of maori volunteers have just left Auckland for Christchurch to assist with the looting.

could they only pinch 2 ???

[jafar]

They just walk away!

They could surf in @ any moment:banana:

[MSTRS]

Maybe they just need a shake up...

[avgas]

So I was talking to this bar tender in Sendai. He was so happy to meet me, even shouted me a drink on the house. I felt like royalty.
I asked why he was so happy to see me, and he responded.
"Its so good to talk to someone slightly intelligent, these days I only get drifters in here"

also

###Newsflash####!
Christchurch gets new building
.....oh yeah they had an earthquake too

[Creeping Death]

On a serious note:

Bob Parker rang up Nga Tahu tribe and said 'yeah....we want our muskets and blankets back....your lands faulty!'
CLASSIC!
Top shelf LOL for you!