you a geek? post your best geek story...

[pyrocam]

Im not posting mine tonight because of the fact that im a drunked geek.
But I want to hear the stories betold before me and I will post tomorow after I get over the hangover.

so if your a geek, work in a geeky job, or have something to do with computers and you kicked arse then post it up.

Prerequisites"

you have to know what the terms
* PWNED
* STFU
* RTFM
* ROLFMAO
mean

[N4CR]

ROFL WTF LMAO DUDE!

Stories. Hmmmmmmmmmm.......

Yeah. Mucking around with user accounts so that a workmate (Kiwibiker member cough cough) who hates anything non micrsoft/intel (not a real geek huh ;) ) had to log into a computer with no IE shortcuts. They all linked to a sneaky firefox install.

Apparently He went nuts and reinstalled windows because of it :devil2:

That box never ran the same since.

##

The usual change screen/kb around for another computer.. works well.

##

Installing sub7 virus on peoples computers and making them a nice 'pink theme' with random browser openings of 'www.bigdonkypenises.com' etc etc

##

Reg hacking locked computers and changing start pages to rotten.com and messing around with titlebars etc etc.

##

More when they come to mind.

[John]

ROFL WTF LMAO DUDE!

Stories. Hmmmmmmmmmm.......

Yeah. Mucking around with user accounts so that a workmate (Kiwibiker member cough cough) who hates anything non micrsoft/intel (not a real geek huh ;) ) had to log into a computer with no IE shortcuts. They all linked to a sneaky firefox install.

Apparently He went nuts and reinstalled windows because of it :devil2:

That box never ran the same since.

##

The usual change screen/kb around for another computer.. works well.

##

Installing sub7 virus on peoples computers and making them a nice 'pink theme' with random browser openings of 'www.bigdonkypenises.com' etc etc

##

Reg hacking locked computers and changing start pages to rotten.com and messing around with titlebars etc etc.

##

More when they come to mind.
God newbies are so fun to fuck with eh :D

[Mooch]

Mental note for myself on NZ return

Don't employee any sysadmins from Kiwibiker. :eek5:

However ,
Number of years back we had an over eager helpdesk manager who would personaly try and sort virus and the like rather than letting the PC support group sort it. She ended up waisting lots of time so we played a trick on her that the whole floor was in on.
It was early Windows days. A program called drip was loaded onto a PC. This program is activated when the shift key has hit. Slowly one by one , random characters would fall off the screen. This would eventaully lead to all the characters cascading off the screen. On a reboot the program was gone.

A call was placed to the helpdesk , I think we have a virus. Sure enough, the HD manager comes over with a whole lot of virus busting disks.
The character started to fall of the screen , She became more frustrated as time went by. The audiance gets larger , Still she can't sort it , After about 15 = 20 minutes we can't contain our laughter any more and left her in on it.
She got a standing ovation and never try to solve viruses again after this.

Other things done.

Sent trainie Computer Operator into tape libiary and explained that the tapes needed turning over to stop the data failing off. We had around 1200 tapes

Apple Mac Se 30's . Take screen snap shot , invert image in macpaint. Turn computer upside down so everthing appears normal. Watch user trying to work out what has happened.

[TwoSeven]

I once wrote a protocol converter (ANSI to UN-EDIFACT) on an NEC mini computer that had a model of C3PO on it. I wanted my own protocol droid. :)

[pyrocam]

Apple Mac Se 30's . Take screen snap shot , invert image in macpaint. Turn computer upside down so everthing appears normal. Watch user trying to work out what has happened.

Awesome!



##

Installing sub7 virus on peoples computers and making them a nice 'pink theme' with random browser openings of 'www.bigdonkypenises.com' etc etc

##

Reg hacking locked computers and changing start pages to rotten.com and messing around with titlebars etc etc.


Lolerific.

mine, although Im re-telling, havent had an opportunity to inflict (and chances are I wouldnt)

Oldy but a goody: screen shot desktop. remove icons. set screenshot to backround. GLHF buddy!

install RealVNC and randomly log on and fuck with them.
start > run > notepad > "I am a VIRUS. you be fucked"

ohhh. one of my fav's
reset users password from server, wait for them to goto lunch (they all lock their pc's)
jump into the word 'auto-correct' function and set 'the' to 'Big floppy Donkey Dick' and 'and' to 'the Penis's run wild in Africa' or something similar

[SPORK]

Hahah! I also screw around with Auto-Correct at school. I'm too much of a stealth wizzrad to be caught though!

[NordieBoy]

My computer isn't working.

Hmmm, let's see. You let your budgie fly around the house don't you?

Ummm, yes - so?

He's got into the case through this space in the back and left peck marks on all the ram chips, pulled all the jumpers off everything and shredded the harddrive cable to spaggetti.

No it can't have been...

Here's a feather he left at the scene of the crime.

Oh.


:D

[WINJA]

GGGRRRRRRRR NNNEEEERRRDDDDDSSSSSSSSS

[John]

GGGRRRRRRRR NNNEEEERRRDDDDDSSSSSSSSS
BAHAHAHA...

Fuck your my hero - I seriously need to buy you some.... love or beer - the catch being with the beer I can give you love so its win win :P

[WINJA]

BAHAHAHA...

Fuck your my hero - I seriously need to buy you some.... love or beer - the catch being with the beer I can give you love so its win win :P
ARE YOU GAY ?

[John]

ARE YOU GAY ?
NO fucken way!!!

[SPORK]

Hahaha!

Oh WINJA, how I love you.

BUT, a question. Did you intentionally chose the "Whinger" moniker, or was it purely coincidental?

[WINJA]

NO fucken way!!!
OK , YOU CAN LEAP OUT OF THAT CUPBOARD WHEN YOUR READY , WE WONT JUDGE YOU , JUST TAKE YOUR TIME

[WINJA]

Hahaha!

Oh WINJA, how I love you.

BUT, a question. Did you intentionally chose the "Whinger" moniker, or was it purely coincidental?
WHITE / NINJA

[SPORK]

WHITE / NINJA
Oooh, okay then.

So could I call myself a "Wettaller"? For White-Metaller?

[John]

OK , YOU CAN LEAP OUT OF THAT CUPBOARD WHEN YOUR READY , WE WONT JUDGE YOU , JUST TAKE YOUR TIME
Only if its your cupboard :D

[pyrocam]

OK , YOU CAN LEAP OUT OF THAT CUPBOARD WHEN YOUR READY , WE WONT JUDGE YOU , JUST TAKE YOUR TIME

*chuckle*
read again
*haha*
pause
read again
bahahahah

I would have rep'd you but ive already given you some and it wont let me

[WINJA]

Only if its your cupboard :D
HEY KNOCK YOURSELF OUT, NOTHING SUPRISES ME ANY MORE , MY BROTHER TOLD ME ABOUT A YEAR AGO HES IN LOVE AND ITS SERIOUS AND HES GETTING MARRIED AND HE WANTED ME TO MEET ANDY , OH ANDY IS UM SHORT FOR ANGELA , NO , ANDY ENDS UP BEING THE BLOKEIEST BLOKE YOULL EVER MEET BUILDER , RUGBY ETC . I WOULDA KICKED THE POOFS ARSE CEPT I DONT LIKE HOSPITAL FOOD

[TerminalAddict]

ok some geekiness
cat /dev/input/mouse0 > /dev/dsp0

for i `ls /home/`;
do echo "Piss off $i\n\nYou Don\'t deserve to log in\nexit;" > /home/$i/.login
done

I can be more creative, if I hadn't had a couple'o beers already :)

[TerminalAddict]

more beer =

echo " \
#!/bin/sh \
echo \"Kernel Panic.\" \
while true; do \
sleep \
done \
" > /usr/bin/prank

alias ls="/usr/bin/prank"

[WINJA]

ok some geekiness
cat /dev/input/mouse0 > /dev/dsp0

for i `ls /home/`;
do echo "Piss off $i\n\nYou Don\'t deserve to log in\nexit;" > /home/$i/.login
done

I can be more creative, if I hadn't had a couple'o beers already :)
? I DONT GET IT

[N4CR]

? I DONT GET IT

YOU SUCK AT TEH INTARWEBS SO STFU NOOB.

PWNDDD!!!!11!!!!!11!!!!!!!!eleventy!!!!11!!!

[John]

? I DONT GET IT
Means hes gay. Simple as that.

[TerminalAddict]

ok .. just found this and its fucken funny ...


/usr/bin/beep -f 830.61 -l 150 -n -f 698.46 -l 75\
-n -f 830.61 -l 75 -n -f 932.33 -l 300 -n -f 1 -l 150\
-n -f 622.25 -l 75 -n -f 698.46 -l 75 -n -f 830.61 -l 150\
-n -f 932.33 -l 150 -n -f 1244.51 -l 150 -n -f 1396.91 -l 75\
-n -f 1046.50 -l 75 -n -f 1244.51 -l 150 -n -f 1396.91 -l 150\
-n -f 932.33 -l 600 -n -f 830.61 -l 150 -n -f 698.46 -l 75\
-n -f 830.61 -l 75 -n -f 932.33 -l 300 -n -f 1 -l 150\
-n -f 622.25 -l 75 -n -f 698.46 -l 75 -n -f 830.61 -l 150\
-n -f 932.33 -l 150 -n -f 1244.51 -l 150 -n -f 1396.91 -l 75\
-n -f 1046.50 -l 75 -n -f 1244.51 -l 150 -n -f 1396.91 -l 150\
-n -f 1567.98 -l 600 -n -f 1567.98 -l 150 -n -f 1760.00 -l 75\
-n -f 1318.51 -l 75 -n -f 1567.98 -l 300 -n -f 1 -l 150\
-n -f 1318.51 -l 75 -n -f 1174.66 -l 75 -n -f 1046.50 -l 150\
-n -f 987.77 -l 150 -n -f 880.00 -l 225 -n -f 987.77 -l 75\
-n -f 1046.50 -l 150 -n -f 1318.51 -l 150 -n -f 1174.66 -l 600\
-n -f 1244.51 -l 150 -n -f 1396.91 -l 75 -n -f 1046.50 -l 75\
-n -f 1244.51 -l 300 -n -f 1 -l 150 -n -f 1046.50 -l 75\
-n -f 932.33 -l 75 -n -f 830.61 -l 150 -n -f 783.99 -l 150\
-n -f 698.46 -l 225 -n -f 783.99 -l 75 -n -f 830.61 -l 150\
-n -f 932.33 -l 150 -n -f 1046.50 -l 150 -n -f 932.33 -l 150\
-n -f 783.99 -l 150 -n -f 622.25 -l 150

[Waylander]

? I DONT GET IT

Just means guyslike me and you are not geeks and thus are cool. That and we both own real bikes.:ride: Damn I feel like a ride right now.

[John]

Just means guyslike me and you are not geeks and thus are cool. That and we both own real bikes.:ride: Damn I feel like a ride right now.
No you are gay, winja is cool big difference wonder woman.

[Mooch]

[QUOTE=TerminalAddict]ok .. just found this and its fucken funny ...

Whats the tune ?

[WINJA]

Just means guyslike me and you are not geeks and thus are cool. That and we both own real bikes.:ride: Damn I feel like a ride right now.
COOL DID YOU GET A GSXR1000?

[Waylander]

No you are gay, winja is cool big difference wonder woman.
Now now John, just becouse I do not succomb to your advances is no reason to attempt a poor joke.:nono:

[TerminalAddict]

[QUOTE=TerminalAddict]ok .. just found this and its fucken funny ...

Whats the tune ?
might blake 7 ..
def. a 80's scifi ..
I'm singing it in my head if that helps :)

[Waylander]

COOL DID YOU GET A GSXR1000?

Eww no. Still on the beast mate. Better than a ZX2R atleast.:ride:

[N4CR]

Just on the subject of geek humor....
Don't you love url 'smalling' sites :D
http://nig.gr/w20 = kiwibiker

http://nig.gr/ go there and make urls small. (Small is better).

And click the flash animation http://nig.gr/whiteblack.swf for an explaination of WHY they do it ;D

[Mooch]

GGGRRRRRRRR NNNEEEERRRDDDDDSSSSSSSSS

Your a Scott / fijian , Are you related to a George C from wgtn , That "nerd" could kick anyones arse !

[John]

Eww no. Still on the beast mate. Better than a ZX2R atleast.:ride:
Um... I could beat your top end, accleration, and your cornering, and the fact that you look like a complete homo on it.

[N4CR]

I just added WINJA to my buddy list. That is geek humour in its own right :devil2:

WONDER WHO THE 5TH PERSON IS MABEY... WAYLANDER O_o WHAT A GUESS. Stop hiding your status.. be a real man.

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 5 (5 members and 0 guests)
tristank, Ixion, John+, Mooch

[WINJA]

Um... I could beat your top end, accleration, and your cornering, and the fact that you look like a complete homo on it.
SOUNDS LIKE A CHALLENGE WAYLANDER, RACE RACE RACE, THEN ILL RACE THE WINNER

[Waylander]

Um... I could beat your top end, accleration, and your cornering, and the fact that you look like a complete homo on it.

Lol is that the reason behind all your madness?:whistle: You know I'm just messin with ya mate. Cornering and top end I'll have to agree with you but the accel might just be about even. We'll have to find a closed straight road to test it sometime.

[John]

SOUNDS LIKE A CHALLENGE WAYLANDER, RACE RACE RACE, THEN ILL RACE THE WINNER
Just start with me mate hell I will give you a head start, he will just fuck it up again :lol:...

See waylander dont fuck with the zxr's, oh shit your not fucking me the only person I would allow is winja!!!!! :nono:

[WINJA]

Your a Scott / fijian , Are you related to a George C from wgtn , That "nerd" could kick anyones arse !
MY MUM HAD 17 BROTHERS AND SISTERS AND 15 LIVED LONG ENOUGH TO HAVE AT LEAST 4 CHILDREN EACH SO FUCKED IF I KNOW THEM ALL , IVE MET MOST OF THEM BUT CANT REMEBER THEIR NAMES

[Mooch]

Sounds like he's your cousin then ,Around 6f and as solid as a brick shit house. He's an Ex Waikato player , and is one of the best network geeks in the business . He's also the kind of person you'd want on your side bar brawl . You wouldn't have to fight anyone.

[WINJA]

Sounds like he's your cousin then ,Around 6f and as solid as a brick shit house. He's an Ex Waikato player , and is one of the best network geeks in the business . He's also the kind of person you'd want on your side bar brawl . You wouldn't have to fight anyone.
MY COUSINS DONT REALLY FIGHT MUCH BUT WHEN THEY DO THEIR LIKE TIGERS, 6 FT BRICK SHIT HOUSE COULD BE ANY OF THEM

[raster]

Hay I have a story......Edited

Help desk answers phone,
User: My computer doesn't work
HD: What is on the screen
User: Nothing
HD: any lights on
U: No
HD: turn the PC on are there any lights
U: No
HD: is it plugged in and turned on at the wall
U: Don't know
HD: can you look please
U: can't see it's too dark
HD: turn the light on
U: Can't, powers off..............
HD: Silence
U: are you there
HD:(muted) !@%&*#&%@\

This is a true story during the AK power outages.

[Waylander]

Hay I have a story......Edited

Help desk answers phone,
User: My computer doesn't work
HD: What is on the screen
User: Nothing
HD: any lights on
U: No
HD: turn the PC on are there any lights
U: No
HD: is it plugged in and turned on at the wall
U: Don't know
HD: can you look please
U: can't see it's too dark
HD: turn the light on
U: Can't, powers off..............
HD: Silence
U: are you there
HD:(muted) !@%&*#&%@\

This is a true story during the AK power outages.
And you sir have just provided all the helpdesk peaple out there with another story about how stupid the uninitiated are.

[pyrocam]

And you sir have just provided all the helpdesk peaple out there with another story about how stupid the uninitiated are.

I suppose. that working in It just shows us, how poorly the world runs under the influence of mass-ignorance.

amazing stuff mass-ignorance, can make people forget about WMD's or North Korea, just like that.

and now I bring you
puppies, close up, with a wide angle lens

[matthewt]

This one happened to me a couple of years ago. Keep in mind the guy that rang me was considered one of the gurus.

At the time I was looking after a very media sensitive computer system.

Expert: Hey Matt, I think your system might be down.
Me: You sure, people normally ring me first.
Expert: Pretty sure, I can't telnet into the server.
Me: Shit. I'll login from home and take a look. Did you get any error messages ?
Expert: Not really it just can find the server.
Me: Maybe the Name servers are playing up, have you tried to telnet to the IP address directly.
Expert: Nah, that won't work coz the firewall is down........

Short delay of 3 seconds......

Expert: Err, actually Matt I think I'll be able to sort it. Thanks anyway.

bawhahahahahahah F**king idiot!

[Sniper]

Haha, thats a good one matt. Ive heard of that before

[raster]

Customer had excessive internet usage, 2 Gig over their 600 Limit for several months.
New PC's and server, "must be something wrong with the computers."
After some research found usage was happening Thursday nights and weekend, had a look on one of the machines and found 8GB porn stored there.
Apparently 14 yearold was going to work with Dad at these times.

Firewalls can tell many stories.
Cost them something like $4000 Telecom charges.

"is that what that 80% usage message meant."

[pyrocam]

Customer had excessive internet usage, 2 Gig over their 600 Limit for several months.
New PC's and server, "must be something wrong with the computers."
After some research found usage was happening Thursday nights and weekend, had a look on one of the machines and found 8GB porn stored there.
Apparently 14 yearold was going to work with Dad at these times.

Firewalls can tell many stories.
Cost them something like $4000 Telecom charges.

"is that what that 80% usage message meant."

lol that 80% usage message.

[Pathos]

Ugh, during study week just before exams I get an insatiable disire to do some coding. In my first semester of University I spent the last two weeks before exams programming a map editor for a game I liked. I did like 14 hour days. God that F***s you up (physically and mentally). I realised in a fit of panic that I only had 3 days to study the 600 page text book on 151100 Introduction to Business and Management. ouch.

In those 3 days I studied harder than any man has ever studied before. Finished the 3 hour exam in 1.5 hours. I was so hyped the pen was on fire. lol, had a rather humourous conversion with a guy who though I had flunked it like him. Only got a B, bugger it, but I hadn't done well enough in the assignments anyway.

Last two semesters I've been able to quell the coding fever a bit better. but only a bit.

[Krayy]

Heres an oldie but a goodie:

When DOS ruled the world, we would sometimes open COMMAND.COM in a hex editor and change some commands around. Best one was changing PROMPT to PROMTP, and AUTOEXEC.BAT to AUTOEXEC.BAK, then editing the .BAK file to have the line "PROMTP=Wanker>" :rofl:

[James Deuce]

And you sir have just provided all the helpdesk peaple out there with another story about how stupid the uninitiated are.

Some of these people aren't uninitiated. I've lost count of the number of so-called financial and accounts people who don't know that you can right click, don't know the control key shortcuts for Microsoft apps and OSes, and can't do a vlookup in Excel. These are the type of people that tell you that they've worked with computers for 20 years and therefore know more than you'll ever know about computers. Yet they can't successfully change their password without help from the stupid IT geek who they theoretically know more about computers than.

The vast majority of users have used PCs for years either in the workplace or at school or university. Their stubborn unwillingness to actually learn anything about the tool in front of them is what turns IT people into cynical commentators on human behaviour.

Anyway my favourite one was getting a call from a user at an Ad Agency who was complaining that the Internet was "down". I said I'd get right on it only to have shot straight back at me, " Don't you people back the Internet up? Can't you just restore it from tape or something?"

I responded sarcastically, in a way that was obviously transparent to the user, " Well, we would, but the overall content changes so often that we can't keep up."

That resulted in a letter to senior management at my company complaining about "lazy", "insolent", "incompetent" staff members who were too lazy to back the Internet up. Once they finished pissing themselves, I got a bottle of wine from the MD for the year's best entertainment so far, and a note to be a little less "droll" in future.

[pyrocam]

as per the other thread

hey guys.
can someone please 334522 me the 552325 so I can 224515 into a 55622 to fix the 232355 on 333677

[matthewt]

A system I ran had a user that ran all the overnight and automated jobs. Not a very inventive name but SAISFTP was it. Anyone with an IT background will know what the last 3 letters mean. Anyway, we had to given them a name on the application because the user would run all these jobs and some of them required an operator's name to be stamped on the bit of work. So not being very inventive I gave it the name "SAISFTP SAISFTP". A few years on and I heard some of the operators suggest that this person was a very busy pacific island girl that came in at night and did a lot of work.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Waylander]

A system I ran had a user that ran all the overnight and automated jobs. Not a very inventive name but SAISFTP was it. Anyone with an IT background will know what the last 3 letters mean. Anyway, we had to given them a name on the application because the user would run all these jobs and some of them required an operator's name to be stamped on the bit of work. So not being very inventive I gave it the name "SAISFTP SAISFTP". A few years on and I heard some of the operators suggest that this person was a very busy pacific island girl that came in at night and did a lot of work.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Ok now you have to explain what SAISFTP means to those of us that don't get it.

[matthewt]

Ok now you have to explain what SAISFTP means to those of us that don't get it.

There's nothing to get. It's just a stupid acronym that people thought was a real name.

I mean have you ever meet anyone with a name remotely like Saisftp ??

SA=the application
IS=the department that ownes the application
FTP=File Transport Protocol (which is what it was originally used for)

[matthewt]

A friend I was training wanted to see what was in the crontab for a very important unix account so he typed:

crontab -r

Thinking the -r would mean read

(Waylander, -r means remove)

[Waylander]

There's nothing to get. It's just a stupid acronym that people thought was a real name.


I mean have you ever meet anyone with a name remotely like Saisftp ??
Yes. Her name was Sanshabnf, don't ask/


SA=the application
IS=the department that owes the application
FTP=File Transport Protocol (which is what it was originally used for)

Ok sorry for being a non-computer type person lol. I figured it was an acronym, was just curious what it meant.

[Ixion]

A friend I was training wanted to see what was in the crontab for a very important unix account so he typed:

crontab -r

Thinking the -r would mean read

(Waylander, -r means remove)

Unix is like that. No "are you sure ?" Just, "OK, boss". No recycle bin either !Once it's gone, it's gone for good . He was logged in as root , wasn't he. :devil2:

[matthewt]

Unix is like that. No "are you sure ?" Just, "OK, boss". No recycle bin either !Once it's gone, it's gone for good . He was logged in as root , wasn't he. :devil2:

Nope, not root. Funny, he was logged in as saisftp. So all the automated jobs stopped working all of a sudden.

[John]

Nope, not root. Funny, he was logged in as saisftp. So all the automated jobs stopped working all of a sudden.
hahaha, one word "PWND"...

[pyrocam]

LOL matthew.

I think Saisftp is a Hot name, I'd really like to meet her.