View Full Version : For your amusement (and advice)
Some of you will have been around long enough to maybe remember these little gems
http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/37199-Where-did-I-go-wrong
http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/37538-Oh...Dear...
The thing is, I now have another problem.
Naturally, I like to help out round the house occasionally, and sometimes I even cook. I admit to there being some truth in the accusations of having a limited repertoire, but so what? I enjoy eating what I cook, and that's the important part. Right?
The thing is, when I do a roast, gravy is a must. None of that packet shit, either.
No. I make my own from scratch. Clever, eh?
BUT
I use flour.
And she says I should use cornflour.
It's a conundrum.
Should I withhold sexual favours until she accepts the way I do things? Or spend more time in the gargre, leaving her to cook and make gravy her way?
gijoe1313
4th May 2011, 09:52
Food good. Gargre time good. Women in kitchen cook good. All is good good! Unless you no like gravy. Then not good. Bad good. So, good to get out of kitchen into gargre and come back to cooked food. Sound goody good to me! Hur hur! :drool:
oneofsix
4th May 2011, 09:59
Flour the traditional way and therefore proper.
Cornflour is cheating cause it thickens faster and therefore quicker.
Wife uses cornflour, I don't argue cause I wants me food and me sex. :shutup:
allycatz
4th May 2011, 10:09
Flour for sure....cornflour changes the colour and the flavour is naff if you use too much. Cornflour ok for casseroles when they can cook a bit longer.
Spearfish
4th May 2011, 10:10
Long term marriage aye?
237946
Bender
4th May 2011, 10:48
Flour.
Better flavour.
That is all.
Mental Trousers
4th May 2011, 10:54
Use a bit of both, I often do. Although her what doesn't do the cooking reckons flour is better.
george formby
4th May 2011, 10:55
Flour. Must be browned slightly to add to the flavour & prevent lumps.
Cornflour is for Chinese food.
If it came down to gravy or sex I would settle for Bisto if I had too.
Bald Eagle
4th May 2011, 11:05
Flour. Must be browned slightly to add to the flavour & prevent lumps.
Cornflour is for Chinese food.
If it came down to gravy or sex I would settle for Bisto if I had too.
i'd never considered Bisto as a marital aid. :facepalm:
oneofsix
4th May 2011, 11:15
i'd never considered Bisto as a marital aid. :facepalm:
anything that makes her happy is a martial aid :love:, as for sexual aid ...
george formby
4th May 2011, 11:20
i'd never considered Bisto as a marital aid. :facepalm:
In this context a vacuum cleaner could be considered a marital aid.
HenryDorsetCase
4th May 2011, 11:24
Some of you will have been around long enough to maybe remember these little gems
http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/37199-Where-did-I-go-wrong
http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/37538-Oh...Dear...
The thing is, I now have another problem.
Naturally, I like to help out round the house occasionally, and sometimes I even cook. I admit to there being some truth in the accusations of having a limited repertoire, but so what? I enjoy eating what I cook, and that's the important part. Right?
The thing is, when I do a roast, gravy is a must. None of that packet shit, either.
No. I make my own from scratch. Clever, eh?
BUT
I use flour.
And she says I should use cornflour.
It's a conundrum.
Should I withhold sexual favours until she accepts the way I do things? Or spend more time in the gargre, leaving her to cook and make gravy her way?
this isnt the "special" gravy that you make in your pants, one assumes?.
If its pan dripping gravy, I always use flour too, cos my old Mum did. and some wine and a bit of stock and the vege water. bada boom, bada bing.
sometimes its a bit lumpy, but thats why we own a selection of sieves in varying sizes, right?
george formby
4th May 2011, 12:02
this isnt the "special" gravy that you make in your pants, one assumes?.
If its pan dripping gravy, I always use flour too, cos my old Mum did. and some wine and a bit of stock and the vege water. bada boom, bada bing.
sometimes its a bit lumpy, but thats why we own a selection of sieves in varying sizes, right?
yup, and to get swarf out of me oil before I put it back in the bike. Use the same sieve for gravy & you get a lovely dark colour.
Flour. Must be browned slightly to add to the flavour & prevent lumps.
Cornflour is for Chinese food.
If it came down to gravy or sex I would settle for Bisto if I had too.
never tried browning it - you mean putting it into another pan 'dry' and literally browning it before mixing it into the pan with the juice in it? i've always just mixed it with a little wine into a paste then poured it into the juice pan - slowly so it doesn't lump up.
george formby
4th May 2011, 12:32
never tried browning it - you mean putting it into another pan 'dry' and literally browning it before mixing it into the pan with the juice in it? i've always just mixed it with a little wine into a paste then poured it into the juice pan - slowly so it doesn't lump up.
You pour off the excess pan juices & fat first, put some of the fat back in the tray & literally fry the flour until it goes sandy with a blonde brown colour. Skim the fat off the pan juices & put the liquid in with the flour , gradually add wine, veggie water etc & simmer once it has the right thickness. A bit of colour gives a subtle nutiness to the flavour rather than a bland starchy taste.
Google "roux".
allycatz
4th May 2011, 12:44
anything that makes her happy is a martial aid :love:, as for sexual aid ...
Those brown stains must be a bitch to get out of the sheets though:love:
Cornflour, always cornflour, less lumpy and besides, normal flour is for baking and soaking up oil spills not gravy.......oh and glue...:blink:
Some of you will have been around long enough to maybe remember these little gems
http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/37199-Where-did-I-go-wrong
http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/37538-Oh...Dear...
The thing is, I now have another problem.
Naturally, I like to help out round the house occasionally, and sometimes I even cook. I admit to there being some truth in the accusations of having a limited repertoire, but so what? I enjoy eating what I cook, and that's the important part. Right?
The thing is, when I do a roast, gravy is a must. None of that packet shit, either.
No. I make my own from scratch. Clever, eh?
BUT
I use flour.
And she says I should use cornflour.
It's a conundrum.
Should I withhold sexual favours until she accepts the way I do things? Or spend more time in the gargre, leaving her to cook and make gravy her way?
Flour. Janet has trouble running across a racetrack infield without tripping over... IYKWIM
yungatart
4th May 2011, 14:24
Flour. Janet has trouble running across a racetrack infield without tripping over... IYKWIM
You know the rules...pics or it never happened.
As for the rest of you, at least I know who not to cook for now!
Plebs! Its cornflour! I know this because thats what my mum used, and if you knew my mum, you'd know not to argue with her, especially when she has a knife in hand.....
Stirts
4th May 2011, 14:33
Its cornflour! I know this because thats what my mum used, and if you knew my mum, you'd know not to argue with her, especially when she has a knife in hand.....
:rofl: subtle threats are my favourite
:rofl: subtle threats are my favourite
That's subtle? You must know my wife...
Stirts
4th May 2011, 14:47
You must know my wife...
Yes Dear....
Yes Dear....
Oh crap. You ARE my wife.
Stirts
4th May 2011, 14:50
Oh crap. You ARE my wife.
Are you loaded?
With money I mean :rolleyes:
Traditionally, I do believe flour is the perferred option....
...it all really comes down to the choice of the Chef!
Are you loaded?
With money I mean :rolleyes:
Nope. Broke as. Just ask my wife or my partner :innocent:
MisterD
4th May 2011, 15:04
Can I vote for neither?
Just deglaze the pan with wine, add a bit of stock or vege water, reduce and whisk in a lump of butter at the end...probably 'jus' rather than 'gravy', but they're synonyms as far as I'm concerned.
george formby
4th May 2011, 15:12
Can I vote for neither?
Just deglaze the pan with wine, add a bit of stock or vege water, reduce and whisk in a lump of butter at the end...probably 'jus' rather than 'gravy', but they're synonyms as far as I'm concerned.
Jus is juice, your making a Jus aux beurre. A white reduced sauce thickened with butter is a beurre blanc. Gravy is glace de viande, more or less. You can thicken your gravy with cornflakes if you want, cooking should be an adventure!
Stirts
4th May 2011, 15:12
Just ask my wife or my partner :innocent:
No wonder you're broke ... a wife and a partner!!
No wonder you're broke ... a wife and a partner!!
I know. I pay to be away from one and with another.
george formby
4th May 2011, 15:23
I know. I pay to be away from one and with another.
Do you compare gravy?
Do you compare gravy?
There is no safe answer to that.
MisterD
4th May 2011, 15:26
Jus is juice, your making a Jus aux beurre. A white reduced sauce thickened with butter is a beurre blanc. Gravy is glace de viande, more or less. You can thicken your gravy with cornflakes if you want, cooking should be an adventure!
I've translated 'jus' as 'gravy' since I first went to France as a 10 yr old...can't argue with your final sentiment though, I learnt 90% of what I do in the kitchen from Keith Floyd (yes, that includes the drinking).
george formby
4th May 2011, 15:29
I've translated 'jus' as 'gravy' since I first went to France as a 10 yr old...can't argue with your final sentiment though, I learnt 90% of what I do in the kitchen from Keith Floyd (yes, that includes the drinking).
Did he give you his famous beer mat recipe?
He was a man after my own heart.
george formby
4th May 2011, 15:31
I've translated 'jus' as 'gravy' since I first went to France as a 10 yr old...can't argue with your final sentiment though, I learnt 90% of what I do in the kitchen from Keith Floyd (yes, that includes the drinking).
Yeah, that's exactly how the French would describe it, meat juices. I reckon the Poms invented thick gravy so they could dip their chips in it.
HenryDorsetCase
4th May 2011, 16:24
Can I vote for neither?
Just deglaze the pan with wine, add a bit of stock or vege water, reduce and whisk in a lump of butter at the end...probably 'jus' rather than 'gravy', but they're synonyms as far as I'm concerned.
I forget the technical term for it but you can mix up a paste of butter and flour, and put that through first then add those other things.
nom nom nom.
george formby
4th May 2011, 16:25
I forget the technical term for it but you can mix up a paste of butter and flour, and put that through first then add those other things.
nom nom nom.
Beurre manie.
Your welcome.
HenryDorsetCase
4th May 2011, 16:26
I know. I pay to be away from one and with another.
the lesson, of course, being you pay no matter what.
HenryDorsetCase
4th May 2011, 16:27
Yeah, that's exactly how the French would describe it, meat juices. I reckon the Poms invented thick gravy so they could dip their chips in it.
and pour it over mashed spuds with peas. I hate mushy peas but love frozen peas.
nom nom nom.
I cooked roast pork the other day and failed utterly to make gravy. (did it in the bbq and its hard to catch the juice). Was good with apple sauce though.
HenryDorsetCase
4th May 2011, 16:29
Beurre manie.
Your welcome.
cheers.
You're Gordon Ramsay, right?
I've modelled my management style after him. Lot of swearing and shouting.
george formby
4th May 2011, 16:30
and pour it over mashed spuds with peas. I hate mushy peas but love frozen peas.
nom nom nom.
I cooked roast pork the other day and failed utterly to make gravy. (did it in the bbq and its hard to catch the juice). Was good with apple sauce though.
:shit: Gutted, truly gutted. Where was my invite? Roast pork is the pinnacle of a meat eaters roasts. Damn, I'm drooling.
I do slow roast pork belly in my oil drum bbq.:facepalm: I'm just torturing myself now.
HenryDorsetCase
4th May 2011, 16:34
:shit: Gutted, truly gutted. Where was my invite? Roast pork is the pinnacle of a meat eaters roasts. Damn, I'm drooling.
I do slow roast pork belly in my oil drum bbq.:facepalm: I'm just torturing myself now.
I did a slow roast pork belly sitting on some crushed up juniper berries and a bay leaf in a shallow pan where you fill the pan up with milk just leaving the top fat exposed so it will crackle up. I have to say, it was bloody good. really really tender underneath, moist, and with just a hint of juniper.
:drool: here I am having quick and sleazy pasta for dinner :(
george formby
4th May 2011, 16:35
cheers.
You're Gordon Ramsay, right?
I've modelled my management style after him. Lot of swearing and shouting.
We were junior chefs at the same hotel in London many years ago. Pimply pale faced boys getting the shit kicked out of us 16 hours a day.
To be truly impressive in that style you need a broad & highly imaginative vocabulary to maintain the impact.
eg. " That soup looks like weasel vomit garnished with the pus from your plukes. Start again!"
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