Headbanger's guide to making friends and shit

[Headbanger]

Righto, The Headbangers guide to righteousness

The old way (no good)

-I'm going to rape your dog, and then I'm going to use that dog to rape your mum.And it will be the best experience of their lives.

This is no good, it offends people and they won't be your new friend, in fact they will think your a big cunt and will want to stab you on the face.

The new "good" way.

Kick the dog, get the mum drunk and fuck her, then do her daughter as well. Don't mention it to anyone until your pissed and you realise the entire world needs to know.

This is great, you get your fun, and people don't know how big a cunt you are until you're boozed and then you aren't capable of caring, and then you can go see their mum again.

[scumdog]

Wot happens if no dog is available??:blink:

[pc220]

Wot happens if no dog is available??:blink:

I think Headbanger would be happy with whatever sort of animal he can get hold of.

[FJRider]

Wot happens if no dog is available??:blink:

... or the dog has standards ... :facepalm:

[Ender EnZed]

Do you have some new friends?

[Crasherfromwayback]

What if 'Mum' is a dog?

[Big Dave]

I am appalled and disgusted. 'Headbanger's'.

[Woodman]

never been apalled, whats it like?

[HenryDorsetCase]

I've been a pall bearer a few times: thats not so much fun usually

[Big Dave]

never been apalled, whats it like?

It's like when you make a typo on an appple compputer.

The other one I'm doing a lot lately is teh. It's like a keyboard stutter.

[Woodman]

It's like when you make a typo on an appple compputer.

Bugger i have used u my " " allowance, otherwise my s elling would be erfect.

[Big Dave]

I've been a pall bearer a few times: thats not so much fun usually

Better than being carried.

[Big Dave]

Bugger i have used u my " " allowance, otherwise my s elling would be erfect.

All I am saying is give 'p's a chance.

[Virago]

All I am saying is give 'p's a chance.

Otherwise instant karma will get you...

[Big Dave]

Otherwise instant karma will get you...

I'm just watching the wheels go round and round.

[Headbanger]

Wot happens if no dog is available??:blink:

Easy, Just Imagine a dog to go with the imaginary freinds.

[Headbanger]

I am appalled and disgusted. 'Headbanger's'.

I'd be letting down the fans if I gave enough of a fuck to get that shit right.







Keeping it real since I created this online alternative personality.

[Big Dave]

A mod changed it. :killingme

[HenryDorsetCase]

OK so we know how to make friends now (post pictures of your bits duh).

There were promises of how to make shit as well. Still waiting.....

[Geeen]

What if the Mum only has a pussy cat??? :shutup:

[Big Dave]

Keeping it real since I created this online alternative personality.

The idea of an alter-ego is that is meant to be different to the ego!

[JATZ]

There were promises of how to make shit as well. Still waiting.....

Yeah...:corn: :wait:

C'mon, I got friends now, I just need the shit to go with em

[Big Dave]

Yeah...:corn: :wait:

C'mon, I got friends now, I just need the shit to go with em

See Kronic thread.

[Headbanger]

OK so we know how to make friends now (post pictures of your bits duh).

There were promises of how to make shit as well. Still waiting.....

If there is one thing I have learned in life, its to never deliver on your promises.

[Big Dave]

If there is one thing I have learned in life, its to never deliver on your promises.

Life skills by Homer & Chopper.

[Madness]

Pics or it never happened. Wait a minute... you're from Wanganui, right? - No pics required! :facepalm:

[Headbanger]

More life lessons.

Judge your new "friend" by the bike they ride.

its pretty damn simple, if you like their bike then they are probably ok, give em a chance not to be a dick.

if they put on a costume to go riding, mention the "lifestyle" or the "brotherhood" then they are douche-bags. If they wear racing gear and think everyone riding slower then them has some how lost then just crack em.

Seriously, if your sitting within reach of one of theses fuckers just smack the cunt.

If they ride a bike similar to your own then they are probably a good bastard, if they ride a triumph then chances are they are worth knowing, If they are riding a Speed Triple then they area freaking god, Give them your women and your money and then depart.





















If they don't ride then judge them by their haircut, works every time.

[Headbanger]

Also.

Anyone on a GN250 is cooler then any fucker on the planet, no matter what they may ride.

Unless they have been riding that GN250 for more then three years, then they become the saddest fucker on the planet.




Well, they are still more awesome then honda riders.

[avgas]

I feel guilty HB.
Y'see I got it all wrong. And now your dog can't sit down anymore.
I'm sorry.

[Headbanger]

I have been watching and learning.

Soaking up the wisdom of KB'er, and though at first I was confused I believe I have learned a lesson or two, so Im going to share it.

This is how you make a positive change to the world, and earn the respect of the people.



Sing a few songs
Make some coin
Spend that coin on crack
Smoke so much crack that you destroy any talent you may have had
Display how drug fucked you are to the entire world
die

ok, i still don't fuckin get it.

[Big Dave]

I have been watching and learning.

Soaking up the wisdom of KB'er, and though at first I was confused I believe I have learned a lesson or two, so Im going to share it.

This is how you make a positive change to the world, and earn the respect of the people.



Sing a few songs
Make some coin
Spend that coin on crack
Smoke so much crack that you destroy any talent you may have had
Display how drug fucked you are to the entire world
die

ok, i still don't fuckin get it.

Just go for it.

[fokky]

alcoholism and addiction are a disease.not every person that gets on the piss as a teenager turns into an alcoholic,some however will.most people that take..say meth or heroin for a short period of time become addicted to it.given sufficient reason,sickness or police maybe some can stop.others cant....they are addicts...they have been born that way.fortunately through councelling and various other programmes these people too are able to recover.often starting with detox units or rehabs.as your education probably comes from the television,you will have a distorted veiw of rehabs and addiction.....read a book:yes:

[Headbanger]

as your education probably comes from the television,you will have a distorted veiw of rehabs and addiction.....read a book:yes:

Friends and family I'm afraid, You know, that weird thing, fuck, whats it called...oh yeah, Life, The real world.

I'm thinking we shoot them before they become a drain on the taxpayer. And if they don't then let em live as they choose.

[Headbanger]

Just go for it.

I tried.

Can't sing.

No money.

No crack habit.

Back to work on Monday.

[Crasherfromwayback]

I tried.

Can't sing.

No money.

No crack habit.

Back to work on Monday.

Haven't even taked the morning off to watch the GP?

[ducatilover]

I'm thinking we shoot them before they become a drain on the taxpayer. And if they don't then let em live as they choose.

:woohoo: Yes!

[Banditbandit]

I tried.

Can't sing.

No money.

No crack habit.

Back to work on Monday.

Ye're a sad little man .. living life by criticising how others live it ...

[Big Dave]

Meh.

Sid. Vicious.

Job done.

[Headbanger]

Ye're a sad little man .. living life by criticising how others live it ...

wait, are you critising how I live my life? :facepalm:

[DangerMice]

be careful with dogs headbanger.....

doggy love (http://www.ktla.com/news/landing/ktla-woman-dies-after-sex-with-dog,0,322331.story)

[Banditbandit]

wait, are you critising how I live my life? :facepalm:

YES!!! If you sit on a keyboard and moan about other's lives then Hell yes - I am ..

[Big Dave]

I don't think it was a matter of 'how'.

[jafar]

I have been watching and learning.

Soaking up the wisdom of KB'er, and though at first I was confused I believe I have learned a lesson or two, so Im going to share it.

This is how you make a positive change to the world, and earn the respect of the people.



Sing a few songs
Make some coin
Spend that coin on crack
Smoke so much crack that you destroy any talent you may have had
Display how drug fucked you are to the entire world
die

ok, i still don't fuckin get it.

Bet Amy doesn't either :facepalm:

[Headbanger]

YES!!! If you sit on a keyboard and moan about other's lives then Hell yes - I am ..

Lmfao.

You scored an own goal and can't even see it.

Please, Judge away, It matters not in the big picture, nor for that matter in the small picture.

[Str8 Jacket]

Please, Judge away, It matters not in the big picture, nor for that matter in the small picture.

Yes, because no matter how loudly or clearly that we tell you that you are an arrogant, judgemental twat you can't hear us cause your head is stuck way too far up your own arse.

Mind you, I don't give a flying fuck about you or how you live your life. Same goes for when you're dead.

As you were. There's a good boy.

[Headbanger]

Yes, because no matter how loudly or clearly that we tell you that you are an arrogant, judgemental twat you can't hear us cause your head is stuck way too far up your own arse.

Mind you, I don't give a flying fuck about you or how you live your life. Same goes for when you're dead.

As you were. There's a good boy.


You sound just like my dear old mum.

[Big Dave]

You sound just like my dear old mum.

I'm giving that a nine, but there is some concern amongst the New Zealand judges....

[short-circuit]

You sound just like my dear old mum.

That explains all the posturing and attention seeking.....mummaaaaay

[98tls]

Time for Sid to ave his say. http://youtu.be/rDyb_alTkMQ

[Dodgy_Matt]

That explains all the posturing and attention seeking.....mummaaaaay
Pot meet Kettle :facepalm:

[short-circuit]

Pot meet Kettle :facepalm:

Sorry, do I know you? Oh I see your trying to get your post count up so you know who dealt you some red.

[Dodgy_Matt]

Sorry, do I know you? Oh I see your trying to get your post count up so you know who dealt you some red.
Nope couldn’t give a flying... you are just so negative dude

[Dodgy_Matt]

Sorry, do I know you? Oh I see your trying to get your post count up so you know who dealt you some red.
Oh no I have a dislike... what will i do.. oh no some big bad person didnt like what I said.. And had a cry

[short-circuit]

Oh no I have a dislike... what will i do.. oh no some big bad person didnt like what I said.. And had a cry

<iframe width="560" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/bbIlLmCID5g" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Dodgy_Matt]

Wow...
Thats awesome, you are a legend

[98tls]

Oh no I have a dislike... what will i do.. oh no some big bad person didnt like what I said.. And had a cry

:facepalm:Thats a fail Matt,nothing to do with anything you have said at all its simply an opinion based on the fact your a Honda rider,jeezzz, simple really eh.:facepalm:

[Dodgy_Matt]

:facepalm:Thats a fail Matt,nothing to do with anything you have said at all its simply an opinion based on the fact your a Honda rider,jeezzz, simple really eh.:facepalm:
Oh...???
So the bike I ride makes a difference?

[short-circuit]

Oh...???
So the bike I ride makes a difference?

<iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/s_H8mxG8nSs" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[98tls]

Oh...???
So the bike I ride makes a difference?

No idea,sell the Honda arrive home one night on a Harley,if that night when shagging the mrs she sits up says "why not ask the neighbour over to join in" then yep,possibly it does.

[Latte]

Here, fishy fishy fishy.


No big snappers yet, but you've easily caught a few guppies.

Time to step it up methinks.

[short-circuit]

Here, fishy fishy fishy.


No big snappers yet, but you've easily caught a few guppies.

Time to step it up methinks.

Just using natural patterns (only do freshwater)

[Dodgy_Matt]

No idea,sell the Honda arrive home one night on a Harley,if that night when shagging the mrs she sits up says "why not ask the neighbour over to join in" then yep,possibly it does.

Hell no... no freaking Harley for me thanks.... :blink:

The honda was the only thing around at the time that was cheap ($6500) and its far better than being in a cage...

[short-circuit]

Hell no... no freaking Harley for me thanks.... :blink:

The honda was the only thing around at the time that was cheap ($6500) and its far better than being in a cage...

Yep, I'm definately gonna have to throw you back in

[98tls]

Hell no... no freaking Harley for me thanks.... :blink:

The honda was the only thing around at the time that was cheap ($6500) and its far better than being in a cage...

Yea yea all good.

[Crasherfromwayback]

That explains all the posturing and attention seeking.....mummaaaaay


Sorry, do I know you? Oh I see your trying to get your post count up so you know who dealt you some red.

Hey...great to see you get into the 'swing' of things with your handbag. BITCH.

[short-circuit]

Hey...great to see you get into the 'swing' of things with your handbag. BITCH.

<iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/iuygRWVwuUI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[ducatilover]

Oh...???
So the bike I ride makes a difference?

It does, I took heaps of dick when I had Hondas, they cuddle afterwards too.

[Dodgy_Matt]

It does, I took heaps of dick when I had Hondas, they cuddle afterwards too.

Hahaa I dont think that had anything to do with the bike you were riding at the time...
You's just gay sorry.... :love:

[ducatilover]

Hahaa I dont think that had anything to do with the bike you were riding at the time...
You's just gay sorry.... :love:

I like lady creases now I have a Kawasaki.

[Dodgy_Matt]

I like lady creases now I have a Kawasaki.

I got too much Lady loving having the Ducati thats why I have to sell it ..... :facepalm:

[Banditbandit]

Lmfao.

You scored an own goal and can't even see it.

Please, Judge away, It matters not in the big picture, nor for that matter in the small picture.

I was well aware of the irony when I wrote what I did ... I'm not as stupid as you ...

[Headbanger]

I was well aware of the irony when I wrote what I did ... I'm not as stupid as you ...

Well, keep trying, you're on the right track.

[Banditbandit]

Well, keep trying, you're on the right track.

What ? To becoming as stupid and arrogant as you? No thanks ..

[Headbanger]

What ? To becoming as stupid and arrogant as you? No thanks ..

Well no, not like me, You're not worthy of that status,I was thinking you could blaze your own path, I was even thinking you were well on your way.

Alas, it not for trying then you must be a natural retarded fuck.

God bless god given talent.

[Deano]

5 pages and not in PD yet. :blink:

[Headbanger]

5 pages and not in PD yet. :blink:

Its got me fucked, It started off with dog-rooting and has only gone downhill from there into petty bickering.....

[Big Dave]

The 'Banger has done a fair job at bringing back the je ne sais quoi that some posters bemoan the lack of.

[Latte]

The 'Banger has done a fair job at bringing back the je ne sais quoi that some posters bemoan the lack of.

You said it was Jenny Seek Wah , or summat.

Woulda been better if he was serious...

[Big Dave]

You said it was Jenny Seek Wah , or summat.

Woulda been better if he was serious...


I was going to write Jenny Sequins. And I'll fess up to googling the correct spelling (again) too.

[fuknKIWI]

Wot happens if no dog is available??:blink:

There's always a willing pig :whocares:

[Headbanger]

The 'Banger has done a fair job at bringing back the je ne sais quoi that some posters bemoan the lack of.

I'm like the A-Team.

Except I'm not a team.

And the "A" would have to stand for Arsehole.

[Big Dave]

<img src="http://homepage.mac.com/david_cohen_design/.public/10pics2/things_you_cant_unsee_07.jpeg">

[Smifffy]

The 'Banger has done a fair job at bringing back the je ne sais quoi that some posters bemoan the lack of.

But I don't know what that is.

[Big Dave]

But I don't know what that is.

Kay Sarah Sarah.

[avgas]

<img src="http://homepage.mac.com/david_cohen_design/.public/10pics2/things_you_cant_unsee_07.jpeg">
Abdominal has the word anal in it

[HenryDorsetCase]

Abdominal has the word anal in it

um, so does "analyse"

[avgas]

um, so does "analyse"
Makes you wonder doesn't it. If some one wants to Analyse you Abdominal. Basically means they want to spit roast you.

[scumdog]

um, so does "analyse"


So does fuckin' banal.

Sheesh...:facepalm:

[Bass]

<img src="http://homepage.mac.com/david_cohen_design/.public/10pics2/things_you_cant_unsee_07.jpeg">

But there's a "U" in cunt

[fuknKIWI]

Phar Canal

[Big Dave]

But there's a "U" in cunt

:-)

U wood no.

[Big Dave]

Makes you wonder doesn't it. If some one wants to Analyse you Abdominal. Basically means they want to spit roast you.

The Anna Gram Co. I believe we've met afore.