Talking to your bike, and the connection!

[willytheekid]

With plenty of time on my hands and still being unable to ride, I have spent alot of time in the garage...just sitting...looking...and talking to my bike :facepalm:

Some people don't understand the connection some bikes can give you, the below poster actually made me feel sorry for them, as they have never bonded with a bike before and therefore couldn't understand the relationship & trust I have with my PhatGirl.

--POST#25--
http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/139166-Sideswiped-off-the-highway-by-a-4x4/page2

SO....How many of you "KB crazies" have a special relationship with their bike, who talks to theirs, and who believes in the "connection" between man/woman & Machine?.

Personally-
As I said in my orginal post:
"I firmly believe that is the essence of motorcycling...the connection, the trust and the extension of one's self between your machine....that makes you feel as one.....and gives you the biggest smile on the road":D

:corn:

[ducatilover]

I chat to mine every now and then, pat it's tank and after a good ride I'm tempted to cuddle it.


I am a lonely sod though.

[Banditbandit]

Yeah. I talk to mine - when I'm riding, not in the shed .. tell them they're good bike .. pat the tanks - give it a loving squeeze with my knees ...

[Maha]

''You better start now ya fucken piece of shit'' is not really classed as talking is it?

[Big Dave]

Nah. I talk to me, not the machine.

[george formby]

I only talk to my bike when I need it to fulfill it's design criteria, keep gripping & stay upright if I screw something up. More like a quick prayer really.

Just noticed I'm over a thousand posts now. Do I get a chocolate fish?

[Insanity_rules]

I only talk to my bike when I need it to fulfill it's design criteria, keep gripping & stay upright if I screw something up. More like a quick prayer really.

Just noticed I'm over a thousand posts now. Do I get a chocolate fish?

And a frontal lobotomy. I call my bike my mistress and talk to it.

[Indiana_Jones]

Depends what the car or bike is doing

<iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/78b67l_yxUc" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

-Indy

[slofox]

Hmmm lessee....Whilst I don't talk to my bike, I do have a connection with it when a ride is going well...(if I lose that connection it's usually as the bike flies off the edge of the road/cliff/drain etc and I stay in mid-air - for a brief time...) But it's more of a man + machine thing than a personal thing, so no, I don't talk to it.

Most of the occasions I have said things to bikes (or cars for that matter) have been rather more in the vein of Mr Cleese in that video than whispering sweet nothings to it...:sick:

[short-circuit]

With plenty of time on my hands and still being unable to ride, I have spent alot of time in the garage...just sitting...looking...and talking to my bike :facepalm:

Some people don't understand the connection some bikes can give you, the below poster actually made me feel sorry for them, as they have never bonded with a bike before and therefore couldn't understand the relationship & trust I have with my PhatGirl.

--POST#25--
http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/139166-Sideswiped-off-the-highway-by-a-4x4/page2

SO....How many of you "KB crazies" have a special relationship with their bike, who talks to theirs, and who believes in the "connection" between man/woman & Machine?.

Personally-
As I said in my orginal post:
"I firmly believe that is the essence of motorcycling...the connection, the trust and the extension of one's self between your machine....that makes you feel as one.....and gives you the biggest smile on the road":D

:corn:

What a load of shite

[James Deuce]

Man and Machine! (http://www.wijinmusic.com/realaudio/manandmachine.mp3)

[Banditbandit]

What a load of shite

So ??? What do you expect on KB ???

[bogan]

Talk is cheap, and more often than not, overpriced!

[Maha]

:scratch:Those that do talk:rolleyes: to thier bikes...you do realize that it does not understand you....right?
So what is the reasoning behind such behaviour?...self stimulus?

Dogs/cats and even birds ...at least you get a response, but a bike?...:nya:

[george formby]

:scratch:Those that do talk:rolleyes: to thier bikes...you do realize that it does not understand you....right?
So what is the reasoning behind such behaviour?...self stimulus?

Dogs/cats and even birds ...at least you get a response, but a bike?...:nya:

Excellent use of emoticons IMHO.:yes:

[wysper]

''You better start now ya fucken piece of shit'' is not really classed as talking is it?

I reckon most riders would have used this or something similar in their riding careers.

[Maha]

I reckon most riders would have used this or something similar in their riding careers.

...only once for me (I now own quality)....and I will not explain the reason why my 02' Sprint would not start, suffice to say that, it was up to my wife to point it out....:corn:
Bling to the first who tell me why?

[george formby]

...only once for me (I now own quality)....and I will not explain the reason why my 02' Sprint would not start, suffice to say that, it was up to my wife to point it out....:corn:
Bling to the first who tell me why?

Kill switch.

[bogan]

...only once for me (I now own quality)....and I will not explain the reason why my 02' Sprint would not start, suffice to say that, it was up to my wife to point it out....:corn:
Bling to the first who tell me why?

Mice in the airbox.

[Maha]

Kill switch.


Mice in the airbox.

...way more simple ...

[oneofsix]

...way more simple ...

Lack of fuel

or

lack of electrical connection as in turning the key on

[bogan]

...way more simple ...

You were using the horn instead of the starter button?

Sitting on it backwards?

The battery was sitting on the bench next to it?

[Indiana_Jones]

...only once for me (I now own quality)....and I will not explain the reason why my 02' Sprint would not start, suffice to say that, it was up to my wife to point it out....:corn:
Bling to the first who tell me why?

It's a Triumph, so the oil was on the floor and not in the bike. :scooter:

-Indy

[Maha]

Lack of fuel

or

lack of electrical connection as in turning the key on

Close but........not really.


You were using the horn instead of the starter button?

Sitting on it backwards?

The battery was sitting on the bench next to it?

You get bling anyway for best answers.


It's a Triumph, so the oil was on the floor and not in the bike. :scooter:

-Indy

....ohhhhhhhhhhh harsh Indy harsh....

[george formby]

Tap, tap, tap, fuel tap?

[oneofsix]

spark lead disconnected?

[Indiana_Jones]

Tap, tap, tap, fuel tap?

I think they fuel injected? not sure though being a 2002, they would be now for certain

-Indy

[EJK]

<img width="500" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-s4vC_c7kbzY/TgqXbCgixvI/AAAAAAAABsY/7XqXSRVNl9E/s1600/forever+alone+sleeping+with+bike.jpg" />

[Maha]

........it was getting late, we were two hours from home, our mates had left, after about 3-4 minutes of fuck fuck fuckity fuck, Anne got off the bike and said...'um, you might wanna......''..?

[Indiana_Jones]

........it was getting late, we were two hours from home, our mates had left, after about 3-4 minutes of fuck fuck fuckity fuck, Anne got off the bike and said...'um, you might wanna......''..?

Turn your lights on?

Take off your steering lock?

Put it into gear.....I know this one lol :woohoo:

-Indy

[george formby]

........it was getting late, we were two hours from home, our mates had left, after about 3-4 minutes of fuck fuck fuckity fuck, Anne got off the bike and said...'um, you might wanna......''..?

turn the ignition sweety....

[bogan]

... try it sans vole in the exhaust?

... push it out of the river first?

[Maha]

Tap, tap, tap, fuel tap?

You might recogise the fence in the pic Mark?...:yes:


Turn your lights on?

Take off your steering lock?

Put it into gear.....I know this one lol :woohoo:

-Indy

Now ya thinkin'....almost there.:blink:

[bogan]

Now ya thinkin'....almost there.:blink:

sidestand?

[Indiana_Jones]

Disc/brake lock?

-Indy

[Maha]

sidestand?

...thank you yes.:Oops:
Oh it would start, but then stop as soon as I put it into gear...the anguish that put me through for a few minutes...:crybaby:


Anyway, what was this thread about?..Hijackin' over.

[Indiana_Jones]

...thank you yes.:Oops:
Oh it would start, but then stop as soon as I put it into gear...the anguish that put me through for a few minutes...:crybaby:


Anyway, what was this thread about?..Hijackin' over.

lol ah, been caught out a few times in the morning when I'm still half asleep. Guess it's doing it's job!

-Indy

[Big Dave]

Indy talks to his hand.

[Banditbandit]

Yeah - I still get caught out with that one occassionally - old routine was engage neutral, start bike, engage gear, kick up stand, drop clutch ...

That routine is still in my muscles - but the Bandits wont let me do it ..

[Indiana_Jones]

Indy talks to his hand.

Na, once she's spent my load, I just roll over and go to sleep.

-Indy

[george formby]

Sheesh, i never noticed your dilemma.

Did exacary the same thing recently, probably for the 100th time...

[Indiana_Jones]

Sheesh, i never noticed your dilemma.

Did exacary the same thing recently, probably for the 100th time...

You've jerked off 100 times recently?

Mrs angry or are you single?

-Indy

[Maha]

....thing is, it happened when I test rode it and I made the comment to the salesman that it wouldn't start, was fine when I went out but when I got back, turned it off and started it one more time.......it happened. I told them to ''sort that out'' before I pick it up in a few days...

Went it to pay for it...asked if they sort sorted the starting issue, was assured that they had so I was happy....ohhhhhhhhhhh the shame :facepalm:

[Banditbandit]

....thing is, it happened when I test rode it and I made the comment to the salesman that it wouldn't start, was fine when I went out but when I got back, turned it off and started it one more time.......it happened. I told them to ''sort that out'' before I pick it up in a few days...

Went it to pay for it...asked if they sort sorted the starting issue, was assured that they had so I was happy....ohhhhhhhhhhh the shame :facepalm:

Fuck .. no shame ... we all get caught with it occassionally - just REMEMBER ...

[Shadowjack]

It may get a "Good onya" after a particularly tough day out. Don't want to give it ideas above it's station, ya know...


Just noticed I'm over a thousand posts now. Do I get a chocolate fish?
How 'bout a kingfish, instead???

[Oakie]

It is just a bike, an inanimate object, we do not work together as a team ... but I do talk to it most mornings ... usually a quick "thanks" for the ride in.

[blue rider]

I do talk to the little transformer, mainly just excusing myself for being a newbie rider who treats her like a newb rider.

but I also talk to myself when riding, to others using the road and so on....but other than that I am quite normal.

and i do pat the bike, and promise it a clean....and such things to keep it happy....

hmmmm is should stop now :shutup:

[mrchips]

The voices tell me to, but sometimes i cant get a word in edgewise.

[neels]

I did say the odd encouraging word to the bike when it was parked in the corner, covered up with rego on hold, just so it didn't feel totally ignored.

I was rewarded with starting first push of the button when I went for a ride the other day.

[nerrrd]

Occasionally, but only in (Commando-comics-inspired) German:

"Achtung! Schnell, schnell! Links, nein, rechts...ach, Gott in Himmel!"

Just kidding with the "schnell" bit, obviously.

[specter]

my bike talks to me, mostly suggesting to fuck the world and kill all my workmates.. :shutup::shutup::shutup:

but dont tell the bike i told you this, she will be angry

[willytheekid]

Well...holy shit! :shit: (I honestly thought I was in the minority group on this one)

Nearly 80% of KB riders are "crazy" bike talkers ...and the other 20% just seem to be angry at them for talking to there "inert" lumps of steel & plastic :laugh:

[short-circuit]

Well...holy shit! :shit: (I honestly thought I was in the minority group on this one)

Nearly 80% of KB riders are "crazy" bike talkers ...and the other 20% just seem to be angry at them for talking to there "inert" lumps of steel & plastic :laugh:

Your sample population is KB

... exactly.

[george formby]

You've jerked off 100 times recently?

Mrs angry or are you single?

-Indy

not quite, I spend too much time being a voyeur here.

[Indiana_Jones]

not quite, I spend too much time being a voyeur here.

Me too....

with my hand in my pants

-Indy

[george formby]

Me too....

with my hand in my pants

-Indy

I have to perve in public & make coffee, so trousers billiards would be a big no no. Stiffens up the froth on a cappucino though. (Don't ask:facepalm:)

[Indiana_Jones]

I cut my pockets out

-Indy

[willytheekid]

Your sample population is KB

... exactly.

:laugh:...yeah fair call

PS: Can't believe you havn't sold that triumph yet...nicely set up bike:yes:

[Banditbandit]

It may get a "Good onya" after a particularly tough day out. Don't want to give it ideas above it's station, ya know...


How 'bout a kingfish, instead???

I got two of those about three weeks ago - too small and had to throw them back ..

[george formby]

I got two of those about three weeks ago - too small and had to throw them back ..

I got wan on Monday, Shadowjack has been privy to my photies, oh er.

[short-circuit]

PS: Can't believe you havn't sold that triumph yet...nicely set up bike:yes:

Cheers bud - I'll tell her you said that....

[slofox]

Certainly had the "connection" thing going this morning. One of those rides when "the zone" is apparent. Unlike two days ago when it was all shite...

I still didn't talk to the bike though...

[javawocky]

Scarlet an't no horse so I don't talk to her, she can torque out prefers to scream :woohoo:

[willytheekid]

Certainly had the "connection" thing going this morning. One of those rides when "the zone" is apparent. Unlike two days ago when it was all shite...

I still didn't talk to the bike though...

...but you HAVE named her (vixen...it ALL starts with naming!)....not long now slofox:shit:...you will join us.....Oh yes.....you...WILL..JOIN US! :soon:

:laugh:


ps: Good to hear about the morning ride.....really missing that! :crybaby: (two more bloody weeks till Im healed)

[Old Steve]

Of course I talk to GLORIA! I pat her tank and say, "Good girl" when we're particularly in the groove and keeping up with the other bikes.

I also pat her when I walk passed her in the garage when I haven't taken her out that day.

I also pat my wife and say, "Good girl" when we're in the groove too. So GLORIA isn't getting special attention.

[baptist]

I chat to mine every now and then, pat it's tank and after a good ride I'm tempted to cuddle it.


I am a lonely sod though.

Better get room :yes:


Me too....

with my hand in my pants

-Indy

ooooh ... :sick::sick::puke:

I do sometimes talk to my bike... sometimes I shout.... sometimes I scream... but hey I do the same to myself so why should my bike get away scot free? :scratch: :weird:

[DEATH_INC.]

I talk to them, they talk back. This is normal isn't it? :blink:

[Maha]

I talk to them, they talk back. This is normal isn't it? :blink:

.....ever tried talking to a Honda?...it just leaps on your lap....:love:

[DEATH_INC.]

.....ever tried talking to a Honda?...it just leaps on your lap....:love:
I thought that was H*nda owners? :yes:

[faredce]

I have a special connection to anything i buy more stuff for than myself...

[Cheshire Cat]

:love: my bike!!

[Eyegasm]

Christ!!

I feed it (Fuel), Clothe it (Garage), and buy shoes for it (Tyres)....

Now you want me to talk to the bloody thing??

[crazywestcoast]

yes:rockon:

[crazywestcoast]

:yes: i do talk to my bike a lil tell her shes a good grl for stayn on the road and not tryna buk me off lol:violin:

[Conquiztador]

My bikes tell me their names. So it would be rude not to talk to them.

[buellbabe]

I am firmly in the 'crazy camp' and kinda relieved/surprised that there are so many others out there who share a similar 'relationship' with their motorcycle.

My brain tells me its just a machine , talking to it is just plain idiotic.

But my heart tells me she (the bike) has a soul and she WILL ( and I believe DOES) respond positively to my attention, whether that attention be an encouraging "woohoo! go girl" or a pleading "come on baby" or a gentle caress of the tank along with an apologetic "sorry girl, not today".

And when I'm riding me and bike are one and it really doesn't get much better.
I often describe my time spent with my animals as my soul food but I can't come up with an easy expression of what the bike is to me.

I guess its like that old song "Love is like oxygen...you get too much you get too high...not enuf of it and ya die"

Life bikeless? That just doesn't compute for me.