Coyote
9th July 2005, 14:28
Euphemisms for Teachers Writing School Reports
What to write - What you mean
Needs praise and encouragement - Thick as two short planks
Expresses himself clearly - Foul-mouthed
Keen to do well - Egotistical
All his work is of high standard - He has ambitious middle-class parents
Does not accept authority easily - Dad's doing time
Is easily upset - Spoilt rotten
Often appears tired - Stays up till all hours watching horror movies or is into sniffing glue
Works better at practical activities - Totally illiterate
Good with his hands - Light fingered
A rather solitary child - Smells or has nits
Satisfactory Progress - I can’t think of a single interesting thing about him/her
A born leader - Runs a protection racket
Easy going - Bone idle
Lively - Thoroughly disruptive
Good progress - If you think the work is bad now, you should have seen it a year ago
A sensitive child - Never stops whining
Helpful - Creep
Reliable - Grasses on his mates
Adventurous - Will break his neck before the year is out
Has difficulty in forming stable relationships - I can't stand him either
Expresses himself confidently - Cheeky little bastard
Enjoys all PE activities - Thug
Has a lot of minor illnesses - Truants regularly
Friendly - Never shuts up
Easily distracted - Hasn't produced a single piece of good work all year
What to write - What you mean
Needs praise and encouragement - Thick as two short planks
Expresses himself clearly - Foul-mouthed
Keen to do well - Egotistical
All his work is of high standard - He has ambitious middle-class parents
Does not accept authority easily - Dad's doing time
Is easily upset - Spoilt rotten
Often appears tired - Stays up till all hours watching horror movies or is into sniffing glue
Works better at practical activities - Totally illiterate
Good with his hands - Light fingered
A rather solitary child - Smells or has nits
Satisfactory Progress - I can’t think of a single interesting thing about him/her
A born leader - Runs a protection racket
Easy going - Bone idle
Lively - Thoroughly disruptive
Good progress - If you think the work is bad now, you should have seen it a year ago
A sensitive child - Never stops whining
Helpful - Creep
Reliable - Grasses on his mates
Adventurous - Will break his neck before the year is out
Has difficulty in forming stable relationships - I can't stand him either
Expresses himself confidently - Cheeky little bastard
Enjoys all PE activities - Thug
Has a lot of minor illnesses - Truants regularly
Friendly - Never shuts up
Easily distracted - Hasn't produced a single piece of good work all year