And then the fight started...

[FJRider]

There are a few E.mails floating around on this theme ... and a few originals ...

I'll start ...

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while
we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'

'No,' she answered.. I then said,

'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...

[FJRider]

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift....

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied,

"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's when the fight started.....

[superman]

There are some gems of those around... I'm going to shamelessly copy and paste (as per usual).


I was hinting to my wife about what I wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

I said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."

She bought me... a set of bathroom scales.

And that's when the fight started......

[LBD]

Wife looking at herself in the mirror naked

Look at me, see how I am aging, I have this soft tumm, my boobs and bum anre not as pert as the once were, Then there are these wrinkles and grey hairs starting to show....

Turning to me she says... Please say something good about me?

Nothing wrong with your eyesight yet....and then the fight started...

I heard about this guy....

[FJRider]

I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.....

[FJRider]

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting
to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had
something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she
thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall
grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into
the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again
I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the
grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

And thats when the fight started ...


The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

[FJRider]

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply
for Social Security.

The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to
verify my age.

I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at
home.. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have
to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for
me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at
the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped
your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'

And thats when the fight started...

[Berries]

Woke up this morning and she hadn't made me my eggs.

[NOD]

The wife asked where I was going to take her for her Birthday,
Told her I was going to take her up her arse !!!
wrong answer-- that is when the fight began:crazy :gob:

[FJRider]

I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!

He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'

So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'

And that's when the fight started.

[LBD]

IHe looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'.

And statisically he would be correct...6 out of every 7 dwarfs are not happy, and one in seven is positively grumpy

[FJRider]

And statisically he would be correct...6 out of every 7 dwarfs are not happy, and one in seven is positively grumpy

That WHOLE story is pollitically INCORRECT ... ONE woman living with SEVEN male miners ...

[LBD]

That WHOLE story is pollitically INCORRECT ... ONE woman living with SEVEN male miners ...

Sounds like a mining camp I am aquainted with....7:1...miners to maids...

Sunday..hoo hum It will be baked ham and pineapple sauce, with way to much cinnamon...again....as it has been every Sunday the last 5 years and sunday desert? Ice cream cones with Icecream that does not melt....for once I am glad to be Lactose intolerant.

[blackdog]

That WHOLE story is pollitically INCORRECT ... ONE woman living with SEVEN male miners ...

So she likes 7UP?

[YellowDog]

So I have my tank on the floor and bike in pieces fitting a Booster Plug and my wife asks, "How long will you be then?"
"About another 40 minutes" I say.

10 minutes later, I drop a bolt deep inside the bike and whilst trying to retrieve it my asks "How much longer will you be then?"

And then the fight started......................

[LBD]

I was parked up in front of the TV when my wife glanced at me through the door.

Whats on tele she asked....dust I replied....then the fight started.

[LBD]

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...