The dreaded “Where do you see yourself in 5 years”?

[Stirts]

Feck!

I can’t very well answer honestly now can I? I could well imagine it would go down like a cup of cold sick if I stated ……
“I plan to win lotto and follow the summer around the world on my motorcycle”

Out of the 10 office staff we have, only two have had this most horrific request imposed upon them. Our CMMS Manager, and myself, a mere Admin Support/Go-To-Girl/General Dogs Body.

We have been given a 3 week time frame, and I might add this is over and above our annual Performance Development Review.

Feckity Feck

I am not a “career minded type” nor do I belong in the “academic world”. And so, do I spiel a whole lot of utter crap about seeking to up-skill and become the departments next Facilities Manager or even a Project Manager :yawn: only to be held accountable for this up-skilling I supposedly seek?

Feckity Feck Feck Feck

There are rumblings in the department, one person has left, some have substantial workloads, others have next to nothing. Me thinks I smell a restructure.

So, I seek some clever advice/input/scenarios from you lot :killingme on how you would handle this if you were in my shoes? A form of delegation you might say :D

WARNING: I will blatantly plagiarise any good advice/input/scenarios

[ducatilover]

Just get your tits out?

[Stirts]

Just get your tits out?

So it has worked for you in the past?

[slofox]

Damn. If I was asked that I'd probably say "dead!"

In your case Stirts, you may be well advised to make up some bullshit story just to keep 'em happy. You could keep it general - "I see myself as a dedicated, hardworking, loyal employee who is valued above all others..." kinda thing.

[mashman]

Get photo of boss. Get pic of you and yer man having "fun". Swap the male heads from each pic. Tell boss you have cut your 5 year plan to a 5 day one and you want their job. Minimal effort, maximum fun.

[imdying]

Easiest way out, as is typical, is just tell the truth.

I would agree that it's a bit of an onerous task if you're not introspective, but maybe just a good a time as any to give it some consideration.

[Stirts]

Damn. If I was asked that I'd probably say "dead!"

Isn't the world suposedly ending in Dec 2012? Now that would keep it short and sweet :rofl:


In your case Stirts, you may be well advised to make up some bullshit story just to keep 'em happy. You could keep it general - "I see myself as a dedicated, hardworking, loyal employee who is valued above all others..." kinda thing.

That's not BS, they farking love me....and my tits :D

[MisterD]

So what you've just said, dressed up in buzzword-speak, is that work/life balance is the most important thing to you and although you don't have a grand career plan you want to progress with roles that can keep you challenged and interested.

[Maha]

If I were in your shoes...(and trust me I have tried:shifty:) I would be on bending knees (or just the one will do) and marry Gordie, have 5-6 kids living off the entitled benefits for years to come.

On a more serious note..It would be prudent to hang onto the job you have got until something else pokes you in the shoulder.
Whatever it takes..untruths? whatever?...keep hold of your position until either..
A.. employment elsewhere is found or...
B.. It becomes untenable for you to work there any longer.

All the best T

Over and out.

[ducatilover]

So it has worked for you in the past?
Of course......:mellow:

[slofox]

Isn't the world suposedly ending in Dec 2012? Now that would keep it short and sweet :rofl:



That's not BS, they farking love me....and my tits :D

You have the advantage of me in the tit department Ma'am...

[Stirts]

Get photo of boss. Get pic of you and yer man having "fun". Swap the male heads from each pic. Tell boss you have cut your 5 year plan to a 5 day one and you want their job. Minimal effort, maximum fun.

I will keep that one up my sleeve when it comes to pay reviews :niceone:


Easiest way out, as is typical, is just tell the truth.

I would agree that it's a bit of an onerous task if you're not introspective, but maybe just a good a time as any to give it some consideration.

Introspective?... only a little. I think it more a case of liking some aspects of those roles I stated, but not remotely interested in taking on those roles within my current workplace due to lack of procedures etc to back me up.


So what you've just said, dressed up in buzzword-speak, is that work/life balance is the most important thing to you and although you don't have a grand career plan you want to progress with roles that can keep you challenged and interested.

You are RIGHT ON THE MONEY!!!


If I were in your shoes...(and trust me I have tried:shifty:) I would be on bending knees (or just the one will do) and marry Gordie, have 5-6 kids living off the entitled benefits for years to come.

:shit:


On a more serious note..It would be prudent to hang onto the job you have got until something else pokes you in the shoulder.
Whatever it takes..untruths? whatever?...keep hold of your position until either..
A.. employment elsewhere is found or...
B.. It becomes untenable for you to work there any longer.

All the best T

Over and out.

From little bits of info I have managed to squeeze out my Team Leader, I think they are worried I am/will get bored. So it is not a case of "keep hold of your position" and more of how can we keep you. :brick:

[MisterD]

You are RIGHT ON THE MONEY!!!


What can I say, I've been in sales for 20 years.

[Big Dave]

Sports analogies FTW.

---------------

Moving forward, I hope to pick up the ball and run with it, kick a few goals and not be afraid of making the hard yards.
Being a team player is important to me and as such, want to do the best I can within the framework of the rules.
I'd like to set our company apart from the scrum and push us over the advantage line.

Etc etc etc.
---------


That will be 5% of the pay rise thanks.

[LBD]

2 ideas...

If they are looking for ambition...give it to them, every morning walk past the bosses office stop at his door, point at his desk and say to him .."Don't you go messing up my desk"

Or you could come out of the closet...(A french language movie "the closet") where this family guy heard he was about to loose his job so he came out as GAY.... his employer was then to scared to sack him for fear of a discrimination law suit...

[Stirts]

Sports analogies FTW.

---------------

Moving forward, I hope to pick up the ball and run with it, kick a few goals and not be afraid of making the hard yards.
Being a team player is important to me and as such, want to do the best I can within the framework of the rules.
I'd like to set our company apart from the scrum and push us over the advantage line.

Etc etc etc.
---------


That will be 5% of the pay rise thanks.

Truly brilliant!!!

"I can tell you it's a magnificent sensation when the gap opens up like that and you just burst right through."

[Maha]

Sports analogies FTW.

---------------

Moving forward, I hope to pick up the ball and run with it, kick a few goals and not be afraid of making the hard yards.
Being a team player is important to me and as such, want to do the best I can within the framework of the rules.
I'd like to set our company apart from the scrum and push us over the advantage line.

Etc etc etc.
---------


That will be 5% of the pay rise thanks.

...and ''We dont like to see hookers go down on guys like that''....The Mex.

[Madness]

If all else fails you could always use the old "wanna root?" chestnut :shit:

[misterO]

Where do I see myself in 5 years? In prison. After working my tail off, under-appreciated, in a dead-end job for years without promotion or pay rise I'll probably just go ballistic and come to work armed with an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas-powered semi-automatic weapon, pumping round after round into colleagues and co-workers. Either that or I might open a haberdashery. Next question? :)

[Swoop]

I'll probably just go ballistic and come to work armed with an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas-powered semi-automatic weapon, pumping round after round into colleagues and co-workers.

So, you work for the postal service?
251699

[Berries]

From little bits of info I have managed to squeeze out my Team Leader, I think they are worried I am/will get bored. So it is not a case of "keep hold of your position" and more of how can we keep you. :brick:
You've got it easy then and can pretty much be honest with them. I've given up playing the game, I'm not interested in career progression in the job I have so have given up taking these performance reviews serious. If you perform you keep your job, if you don't, you don't. The way it should be IMO.

[Oakie]

As an HR chappie, if I were to ask someone this I would want a reply that:

> showed the person was not happy just to sit in the same role until retirement (stagnating)
> showed that I, as the employer, figured in their plans to some extent
> showed that their plans were achievable and realistic in terms of the employee's abilities and our business

[jafar]

You should give it some consideration, far too many people just exist from payday to payday without really thinking about where they are heading , or even have a goal in mind except next weekend & what they will do then. :brick:

As you feel they have given you the 'tip' that the want you to hang around, it may be in your best interests to think seriously about what the future holds & what you would like to acheive within certain timeframes.:yes:

Start with 6 months from now, then 12 months, 2 years etc & form a plan in your mind of where you want to be & how you intend to get there. Mull it over for a few days & see what pops out, it will surprise you . Don't be afraid to put in things like "in 5 years time I'd like the boss's job" or "I'd like to complete a degree in ............ ". With this kind of information they may decide you are indeed worth investing some money in & help you get to where you have stated you would like to be .:shutup:

Putting in things like " I'd like to be pregnant with my 4th kid & living off the state" probably won't help your cause much:Oops:

[Pussy]

I reckon you will be pregnant with child # 3, Teens! :)

[Indiana_Jones]

...<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/HJlbAUYE-ls" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

-Indy

[Big Dave]

Indy doesn't know where he'll be in 5 minutes time - except NOT at sea.

[Woodman]

You will need to know how to speak "HR", its a language that no one understands, not even I suspct HR people. Thats why no one understands appraisals or any other memo/email/form from any HR department, they don't even understand it.

[Stirts]

I reckon you will be pregnant with child # 3, Teens! :)

:lol: and a clowns pocket where my vag used to be!


You will need to know how to speak "HR", its a language that no one understands, not even I suspct HR people. Thats why no one understands appraisals or any other memo/email/form from any HR department, they don't even understand it.

And I am proof of that as I do have an HR background. :laugh: but it is very different when dealing with your BS as opposed to someone else’s

[nodrog]

"earning shitloads to support my loser husband, and still making his lunch" :yes:

[Maki]

You could tell them that there is in fact no 5 years from now to see. The only thing real is now.

A simple and honest answer could be: "I see myself in a satisfying job and I see myself receiving a salary that is enough to support my current and future needs." Anything beyond that is pie in the sky.

[avgas]

Yeah I have been going to a few interviews over the last year. I got so bored with these questions I started to have some fun with them.
Here are a few of mine (and some others I haven't tried yet), that have got a few giggles...
"In your job"
"Interviewing my replacement"
"As your boss"
"On a well deserved holiday"
"Doing another degree that wont be respected in NZ" (I have a B.Eng and MBA thus far lol)
"Designing better interview questions as head of HR"
"In a big house, with 10 kids and a pony" (I stole this from a friends daughter)

Ironically the only genuine one most people want to hear is:
"In the same role, working for you"

Seems when they ask it they aren't questioning your drive....more your zombie complex.
Wrong answers are anything to do with career progression. Don't believe me try it and see whom gets cut first.\

In a recent interview I missed out as they felt "I would use them as a stepping stone" - as I mentioned I would like to work somewhere i could progress through the ranks.
Kinda sad really. HR in NZ is fucked.

[avgas]

You will need to know how to speak "HR", its a language that no one understands, not even I suspct HR people. Thats why no one understands appraisals or any other memo/email/form from any HR department, they don't even understand it.
Funny fact. 80% of HR in NZ never studied HR and actually don't have a solid foundation in it.
Which could explain your comment. Imagine if 80% of electricians didn't know about electricity.

[oneofsix]

Funny fact. 80% of HR in NZ never studied HR and actually don't have a solid foundation in it.
Which could explain your comment. Imagine if 80% of electricians didn't know about electricity.

No, no you are mixing your comparisons. It should have been "Imagine if 80% of the people who worked on electricity weren't electricians", oops hold on a moment, that might be trrue. :sweatdrop

[nodrog]

Funny fact. 80% of HR in NZ never studied HR and actually don't have a solid foundation in it.
Which could explain your comment. Imagine if 80% of electricians didn't know about electricity.

thats shocking

[Stirts]

..think seriously about what the future holds & what you would like to acheive within certain timeframes.:yes:

Oh that is easy, farkloads more money, less work, and I want it now!


"earning shitloads to support my loser husband, and still making his lunch" :yes:

Support your add to cart habit! ;)


You could tell them that there is in fact no 5 years from now to see. The only thing real is now.

A simple and honest answer could be: "I see myself in a satisfying job and I see myself receiving a salary that is enough to support my current and future needs." Anything beyond that is pie in the sky.

PIE? :drool:

Seriously though, I like that. He doesn't need to know that my current and future needs also include a track bike and time off work for any trackdays though aye? :shifty:


Yeah I have been going to a few interviews over the last year. I got so bored with these questions I started to have some fun with them.
Here are a few of mine (and some others I haven't tried yet), that have got a few giggles...
"In your job"
"Interviewing my replacement"
"As your boss"
"On a well deserved holiday"
"Doing another degree that wont be respected in NZ" (I have a B.Eng and MBA thus far lol)
"Designing better interview questions as head of HR"
"In a big house, with 10 kids and a pony" (I stole this from a friends daughter).

:rofl: I believe some of those might just tickle my GM's gigglebutton


HR in NZ is fucked.

Pretty astute you are!!!

[Flip]

I survived 25 years working at large petrochemical companies being asked just the same kind of questions. When I used to get sick and tired of the crap I used to arive in a suit and go to lunch at 1100 and not return to work. The buggers never said a thing when they think their IP is going to walk out the door with their engineer.

My standard reply to these stupid HR questions is retired. I guess sometimes it helps to be the grumpy old engineer.

[Indiana_Jones]

Indy doesn't know where he'll be in 5 minutes time - except NOT at sea.

Buggered if I know too.

More fun to make it up as you go :scooter:

-Indy

[Scuba_Steve]

Kinda sad really. HR is fucking useless.

it's not just limited to NZ! But I fixed it for ya :D


...waits for someone in HR to try & justify their job :wait:

[avgas]

it's not just limited to NZ! But I fixed it for ya :D
...waits for someone in HR to try & justify their job :wait:
Yes and No. At some point in time some great managers in NZ thought it was a cool idea to fire the countries HR depts.
The good ones went overseas.
Then these NZ companies thought - all HR did was hire people. Lets contract out all our recruiting.
This opened the doors for a whole lot of door-to-door used car sales people to sell people/jobs for a living.

Good HR is worth gold. Your employees love working for your company, growth happens......and that horrible word 'synergy' actually occurs. Unfortunately this has been pushed on managers to step up and become "Leaders".

Bad HR is detrimental to operations. Staff turnover happens, and eventually people don't want to work for you anymore. Thank goodness we keep breeding new stupid employees or most firms in NZ would collapse.

I once was talking to a good buddy of mine whom works for a large engineering consultancy. Their "HR" department had to hire so many people per year as their target. He was on the other end having to fire them as they downsized. :mellow:
Why didn't they just stop hiring people?
This still goes on at this large international firm. In Auckland.

On a similar note I was once asked to work for a company, that 3 weeks prior had made me redundant. I asked the girl at HR if she had read my whole CV. 30 seconds later "Oh! I see! But I am sure this was just simple misunderstanding"
"Your right. You were on the assumption that I gave a damn about working for you guys again"

[Indiana_Jones]

There's a few large international engineering firms in Auckland lol

But agreed, the hire/fire way of donig that is silly.

-Indy

[jim.cox]

Then these NZ companies thought - all HR did was hire people."

Everytime I see "HR"

I thnk "Human Remains"

[p.dath]

I don't think much past dinner at the moment. Sometimes I dare to think about the weekend coming up.

[oneofsix]

I don't think much past dinner at the moment. Sometimes I dare to think about the weekend coming up.

I don't think about the weekend as I'm married and she will tell me what I have planned for the weekend Saturday morning :shutup: Well, this weekend it is the BRONZ ride but that's an exception. :woohoo:

[Stirts]

Everytime I see "HR"

I thnk "Human Remains"

Such fond memories I have of working in an HR Department within the Tertiary Education Sector (which was packed to the rafters with "human remains") was the majority had power beyond their level of intelligence and generally spent most of their time justifying their existence. ;)

[Scuba_Steve]

Everytime I see "HR"

I thnk "Human Remains"

And your probably not half wrong :shutup:

"Everyone hates human resources. It's one of the pet peeves of most employees. But then, let's face it, most HR people are not that bright and HR has not proven to be an effective career track. It's certainly not the fast track to the top. Historically, it's been a depository of people who haven't made it somewhere else. Not going anywhere? There's always HR."

[Stirts]

I don't think much past dinner at the moment. Sometimes I dare to think about the weekend coming up.

ME TOO!!! I don't think he comprehends what he is asking of me!!!

How can I possibly see where I would like to see myself in 5 years let alone 10 seconds!
I change my mind like I change my moods...

http://i163.photobucket.com/albums/t304/whatatemptationn/thMoodSwing2.gif

[SPman]

Such fond memories I have of working in an HR Department within the Tertiary Education Sector (which was packed to the rafters with "human remains") was the majority had power beyond their level of intelligence and generally spent most of their time justifying their existence. ;)Their main occupation seems to be furthering the cause of the HR dept.

[Oakie]

"Everyone hates human resources. It's one of the pet peeves of most employees. But then, let's face it, most HR people are not that bright and HR has not proven to be an effective career track. It's certainly not the fast track to the top. Historically, it's been a depository of people who haven't made it somewhere else. Not going anywhere? There's always HR."

Well that's a broad statement for such a narrow mind.

[avgas]

Well that's a broad statement for such a narrow mind.
Don't mind him. He uses bandwagons for transport.
http://www.soothbrush.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/hummer-with-wooden-wheels.jpg

[Oakie]

Don't mind him. He uses bandwagons for transport.

LOL. Nice!

[oneofsix]

Their main occupation seems to be furthering the cause of the HR dept.

The only self perpetuating department. The more HR people you have the more HR people you need to to handle the work involved in those you now have.

[Scuba_Steve]

Well that's a broad statement for such a narrow mind.

That wasn't my invention, I believe that might have come from a "respected" US Business magazine. & my mind aint narrow just a little insane (things are better that way)


Don't mind him. He uses bandwagons for transport.
http://www.soothbrush.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/hummer-with-wooden-wheels.jpg

I would take that tho! :yes:

[avgas]

The only self perpetuating department. The more HR people you have the more HR people you need to to handle the work involved in those you now have.
Nope
- Auditing Accountants
- Anything with the term "consultants"
- Management (esp. operations)

And probably more I can't think of.

[vifferman]

Their main occupation seems to be furthering the cause of the HR dept.
True (at least for the HR people I know). That and shmoozing with management (which I guess is the same thing).

The only self perpetuating department. The more HR people you have the more HR people you need to to handle the work involved in those you now have.
Also true (as above).
We have two HR people in an office of about 20. They have NO interaction with anyone here except the GM, which seems to be fine with most people.
You'd think it might just be a pre-requisite for a Human Relations person to have some modicum of people skills, but the two here seem to be self-absorbed, very poor listeners, and useless at anything employment related. Mind you, I might just be biased because the useless head HR cow cost me more'n $2k, when I was off work, emailed her to ask for help, and she did basically nothing. Then months later goes, "Oh - how did you get on with ACC? They turned down your claim, huh?" (Medical misdaventure, resulting in a permanently damaged shoulder).
"No - they approved it, apart from about 3 weeks where I was only working part-time and they'd deemed I'd returned to full-time employment, because I couldn't drive, so was stuck at work until my 'ride' was ready to go home".
She then proceeded to tell me what their normal system for working with ACC was, which was exactly what I needed, and what she'd failed to tell me when I asked her at the time.

I have to chortle when EVERY day she comes in (late), goes, "Morning!" and is met with complete silence. Stupid cow...

[Smifffy]

We in the production department do everything we can to support the HR and purchasing functions of the business. It is our top priority, we could not get our products effectively to market without them. I repeat this daily to myself in the hope that one day it will cease to be ironic.

Personally I feel the old "where do you see yourself etc" to be somewhat lazy leadership. That is probably why it is so prevalent.

IMO a good leader first of all let's everyone know what their own plans for the future are. Then they inspire those around them to work towards that plan. Some people have planned careers out for themselves based on being in certain roles by certain times and IME these are the people that move from company to company, bringing with them a whole lot of baggage, and no real commitment to a long term future.

Some of the best people have slogged away at the same company and then made the most of an unexpected opportunity that popped up.